No matter who you are, or how lovely your features are, there are things that can make you unattractive. These things can cause you to lose friends. They may be the reason why you got the first and the second date, but not the third. They may be why someone else got the job.

A lot of the time we get frustrated and upset about things not working out in our lives, when if we took a step back and invested into a few honest conversations we would discover we can trace problems. Broken relationships are a product of how we interact with others, and view the world and ourselves.

Here are nine bad habits that are driving away people and opportunities in your life:

1. You are self-absorbed

Do you care more about yourself than anyone else? Do you glaze over and become annoyed when someone else talks and dismiss other people’s opinions? Some people don’t realise they are being self-absorbed, but when nobody wants to spend time with you, this could be why.

2. You care about the outside of a person more than the inside

True beauty comes from the heart and soul. It is not about how many muscles you have, how tall you are, what cool clothes you wear, or how attractive your features are. Do you treat good looking people differently to less good looking people? Do you treat people in accordance with their skin colour or the car they drive? It’s time to stop.

3. You are always in competition

Do you have to always be better than everyone else? Someone who has to constantly have the best and be the best is unable to appreciate qualities in other people. This kind of person loses the ability to be humble. They keep on having to “one-up” on the rest of the world and this drives away their friends.

4. You treat friends as enemies

If instead of rooting for your friends and encouraging them, you pick fights and find issues with people in your life, you will soon lose friends. You are not there to bring down your friends, or try and win over someone’s allegiance by gossiping about someone you know in common. Be nice and be respectful.

5. You are always insecure

We all deal with things, but it is exhausting for people to always affirm and comfort. If you keep on going on about the things about yourself which you don’t like you will annoy your friends. Embrace yourself the way you are and work on the things you don’t like.

6. You are dishonest

If one day you say one thing and the next you say some thing different, then you will get caught out. Nobody likes a liar. Come clean, own up, and don’t try to hide yourself by being dishonest or creating stories you think people want to hear. People want to know the real you.

7. You are rude

If you don’t agree with someone, that’s okay. What’s not okay is being rude or unkind about the situation because of your disagreement. Making a big scene, calling people names, or embarrassing a person in public is never okay.

8. You are unreliable

Are you there when your friend calls for help? Do you expect your friend to be there for you and then disappear when they require a friend? Friendship is a two way street and being reliable is an important quality. Don’t be the person who cancels last minute, or doesn’t respond to text messages.

9. You are always negative

Pessimism is not an attractive quality. Try change your attitude. If you are always seeing the negative or putting people down, you will find that you are not a very happy person. An optimistic attitude is infectious and inspiring.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust