“Oh my gosh, you’re so immature!” It’s the ultimate insult.
As humans, if we want to see things in our life work well – if we want good jobs, great relationships, and a healthy, successful life – then we need learn to mature. Okay now, before you move out of your apartment and book your place in the Old Age Home, hold your horses. Maturity is not about age, it’s about behaviour. You can be 10001 and be immature, or you can be 12 and be mature. Maturity at its essence comes down to this: “Treat others like you would like to be treated.” It’s in the Bible and the Bible has a lot of good stuff, ya know.
What does this look like? How do we know when someone is really being immature or when its just, uhhh, an unfair accusation because we don’t know what else to say in an argument? This is what maturity looks like:
1. Knowing when to be serious and when to be fun
Mature people can be silly too – they just know when to be silly. Don’t do this at work, at important events, or when someone has a serious issue to address.
2. Be the bigger person
You are going to get into fights with people; it’s a part of life. You are going to get into fights with immature people who are unkind. Don’t be the same way. Be kind and walk away.
3. Be open-minded
It’s so easy to make assumptions about a situation when you haven’t been in the other person’s shoes. Don’t judge people but be open to hearing their opinion and side of a story.
4. Be true to who you are
Mature people know who they are. They aren’t trying to be someone else, and they aren’t envious of someone else. They are simply doing their best with what God gave them.
5. Take responsibility
We need to take ownership of the things in our life which aren’t good and ask ourselves why. We can blame everyone around us, but that isn’t mature. Mature people admit when they make mistakes, adjust, and move forward.
6. Deal with conflict well
Keep your emotions and temper in check and learn when to discuss issues. Being passive-aggressive is not healthy but tearing someone else apart is not healthy either.
7. Have confidence in who you are
We all struggle with self doubt, but a mature person is positive about themselves. We are not perfect but we accept who we are and we believe God has a good plan for our lives.
8. Forgive quickly
Forgiveness is hard, especially when the other person has hurt you and you feel as if they are wrong. It doesn’t work to hold on to hurt though and to dwell on what someone has done. Let it go quickly and move on.
9. Think of other people
What would I feel like if that were me? How would I want someone to respond if I were in that situation? What would that make me feel like? If you consider the other person in your dealings in life you will find your decisions more mature and your empathy deeper.
10. Keep perspective
Don’t overreact or blow something out of proportion. Most matters are not as big as we make them out to be. Take time with God, chat to some good friends who you trust, and take a big breath. It’s going to be okay.
It’s not easy to be a mature person. It takes work, time, and character growth. It is important we are aware of the areas we need to grow in and able to put effort into getting better at this. The ultimate example of maturity and character was Jesus Christ. If you read about him in the Bible you will learn how to respond in situations and his example will help you to navigate challenges. Follow him and he will grow your character so you will be strong in the midst of the surging currents of life.