Recently I bumped to an old friend I went to school with. I had a conversation with her about a few things and touched on areas such as politics etc. When she asked me to explain again what I meant exactly some of the points I was making, I expressed my thoughts in at least four main points. We then moved on to other topics of conversation.
To my surprise, a few hours later after we had separated, I got a message from her stating that she basically still didn’t agree with me. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying I wanted her to agree with everything I said. All I had really done was raise my concerns regarding the state of politics in our country.
As I continued to read her message, my anger levels started to rise. What she was talking about was not what I had said at all. She took my words out of context and formed an entire argument by focusing on one point. This of course opened the door for what appeared to me to be a lecture about government practices etc.
I was furious by the time I was done reading that message and thought to myself, “Did she really understand what I was talking about earlier”? My first thought was to respond back and try to explain what I meant earlier and also make her understand that I wasn’t impressed with the way she had twisted my words. But I didn’t. I resisted the temptation and I calmed myself down.
So I thought to myself, “Why is it that people tend to misinterpret other people?, Why do I often find myself so misunderstood”? Is it maybe that the way I communicate things to people is not as clear as it should be? Is it perhaps my use of language? (I speak 6 languages by the way) or could it be that I am just not a good communicator at all? I was totally confused.
I felt angry that I was misunderstood. I felt that my friend should have given me the benefit of the doubt and not thought the worst of me.
It’s not your view. It’s theirs: The first thing that came to mind was that what was written in the message wasn’t my opinion. It was my friend’s view of my opinion–through her own filters and perspective. It had nothing to do with me or what I said. Had I tried to explain my position further, she would’ve still picked on what she wanted to hear and not necessarily what I wanted to say.
It’s likely that you’ve felt misunderstood like I did with my friend. This is something that’s common to all of us and I know I’m certainly not the first person to feel like I did that day. Our relationships, because they are with flawed, imperfect people just like ourselves, will go through those moments. The good news is that it is possible to have a relationship with someone who understands us at all times. Not only does he understand you but he is available to listen at any time. We’d love to share more about this relationship with you and invite you to click on the banner below.