I always used to tell my friends ‘How can you say you don’t care about what people think of you?’. To me it was such an ignorant statement to make, I mean I cared! It sort of provided me with a perimeter that I could not cross, a framework for who I was and it helped me not to do irresponsible things.
I made sure that my choices lined up with what people thought of me, I needed you to know that I was doing exactly what you thought I was doing. It affected my relationship choices, I would not date you if, according to society, you were the wrong fit. You could give me all sorts of butterflies, but what people thought about you, trumped that. My career choices revolved around people, I was so afraid of disappointing anyone, but somehow I kept disappointing myself deeply.
I was a people pleaser and never really asked the one person who really mattered what He thought. It may become so difficult to block out the opinions of people, but when you are confronted with difficult choices about your life, relationships, a career, the only choice you have to make is to ask God what He thinks. The word of God instructs us clearly on this:
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. – James 1:5
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:2
The main reason why we are always so unhappy with our choices is because we accept the WRONG opinions without asking God what His opinion is or checking whether our choices line up with His word. The voices, the gossip, the talk will always be there, but they are not what is important, they are not what matters most in this life and who cares anyway?
If you find yourself suffering from the ‘people pleasing syndrome’, you can get over it, you can get through it and you will. The very first step is putting God at the top of every list you’ve ever made.
When we are Jesus centered, we are not caught up in trying to do what will make our friends happy. We are completely focused on what will make God happy.