“You know, I think the nature of living things is that they have to periodically be pruned.” If your life is growing you are going to need to be “cut” in areas – this is good news. You should be growing and as you grow your decisions change. You develop new skill sets and your life takes on a different shape. If you’re growing you may also feel overwhelmed – that’s okay too. If you feel overwhelmed, know you are not alone.
Everybody feels overwhelmed at times; the key is to manage this well and not let it get you off track. Here are some thoughts on how to better understand the dynamics which lead to us feeling overwhelmed, and then what to do when it happens.
Accept responsibility
Nobody got you to the place you are at, but you. You said yes to all your commitments. You have a choice: you could decline the work, you could negotiate the deadline, or you could delegate it. If you play the victim card you are going to be overwhelmed until the end of time. Don’t place blame on someone else; accept responsibility.
Confront your fears
Are you afraid of saying no? Do you think you might miss an opportunity, or get fired? What is making you say yes to everything? Are you trying to please people and in the process are unable to give someone a brave, firm “no”? Maybe you have a scarcity mentality? Think about what it is that is leading to your overcommitment. Don’t say yes for the sake of it.
Reduce the drama
Do you feel important being the person holding all the balls? Or are you always responding with the phrase, “I’m so busy” when people ask you how you are doing? If so, you probably need to get some perspective and dial down the intensity of your language. Most situations really aren’t always that bad. Change the way you think and you will change the emotions you feel.
Keep perspective
What you are going through is a season, not a sentence. It’s so easy to feel like things are never going to end when we are worked up and overwhelmed. Trust me, even the worst experience gets better when you realise there is a finish line at the end. Give yourself a goal and don’t feel bad about celebrating it- we all do better when there is something to work towards. All seasons do pass.
Make space on your calendar
If you are feeling overwhelmed it’s because you don’t have enough time to breathe, or enough wiggle room in your day. If you are booked wall to wall, you are never going to feel like you can cope with what is going on in your life. Sometimes you need to go through your calendar and clean it out. What may have seemed like a necessary commitment three months ago can be looked at again – maybe you can find another option that frees up more time? Try to keep your commitments but don’t be afraid of making some harder choices along the line.
Do the next most important task
When you think of everything that needs to be done it can be very overwhelming. Usually, not all of this is due for tomorrow. Some of it can be pushed down the line. The most important thing is to get started with the most urgent task. Other things can be worried about at another stage. Jesus sums it up:
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:34
Get enough rest
When you are tired you lose perspective and it’s much easier to become distracted. Make sure you prioritise rest and are able to attach things when you have the time and emotional reserve to deal with them.
Make a change
At the end of the day, it’s up to you and it’s up to me. No one else is going to take responsibility for building margin into your life. You have more power than you think so don’t remain where you are. Especially if your sanity, family, and health are at stake.
This post is inspired by a recent podcast by MichaelHyatt.com