The possibility exists that you are selfish. It’s true. You might be more concerned about how things affect you and how that might make(s) you feel than how much another person might need you. Don’t feel condemned, because we all do that. I’m convinced that it’s ok to wonder about this or that for yourself because you DO need to take care of yourself and your needs, but I’m talking about your overall demeanour. I’ve thought a lot about this concept over the last while. I don’t remember how it all started but I do remember my train of thought at the time: Do I listen when other people talk, without saying: “Oh yeah, me too!” or “Yes, that reminds me of when I…”? Or do I just listen, nod, give advice, or do whatever their conversation might dictate.
I want to be a better listener, and show that I care for the person and am interested in what they are saying. It’s so easy to make things about us, but I’m not sure how or why we instinctively do that. Perhaps it’s part of the human condition that is often the root of all sorts of evil.
I’ve realised I can be a bit self-obsessed sometimes. It makes me feel terrible and bothers me a lot. It might seldom happen but there have been enough ‘seldoms’ for me to conclude I don’t want to be that type of person.
My wife and I have just recently become parents for the first time and having this beautiful little boy in our lives has had me thinking once more. He needs all my time and attention, and he needs even more of my wife’s. I have no right to complain about lack of sleep, as my wife sleeps less. I can’t (at least for now) do all the extra mural activities I used to enjoy. This has turned into a real test. I don’t have time to watch TV or read but I’ve got this breathtakingly beautiful boy to take care of and other things don’t matter so much right now.
We aren’t all parents with new little babies, or Mother Teresas or Florence Nightingales but we are all able to spend more time on being attentive to others and their needs.
Let’s shift our gaze and set them upon another, and see our outlook on life and its priorities change. It must! It has to!