Confidence and arrogance are, in many ways, different sides of the same coin, but while one inspires trust, encourages, and attracts, the other alienates, annoys, and belittles. There is a very fine line between these two character traits and it can sometimes be difficult to tell the two apart. So how can you know if you are displaying confidence or just being arrogant?
It wasn’t me: One of the tell-tale signs that a person is arrogant is an inability to admit that they are wrong or have made a mistake. It’s always someone else’s fault, and they are never to blame. Confident people, on the other hand, are secure enough in who they are and their own abilities, that when mistakes or failings happen they are able to own their errors, pick themselves up, and try again.
Yes, I know: A person with confidence is happy to seek help from those who are more expert or have more knowledge in an area than themselves. They are not threatened but understand that they can benefit from others’ experience and wisdom. Arrogant people, however, are very often unteachable, know it all already and always have an answer for everything. They are happier to dodge the question or fudge the answer, rather than admit they don’t know or need help.
Me vs. the world: How someone responds to the mistakes made by those around them will quickly indicate whether they fall into the arrogant or confident camp. An arrogant person will gloat and laugh at the mistakes of someone else, they will use someone’s failings to boost their own status. A confident person realises that they don’t need someone else to mess up in order to find success themself. A confident individual is able to help others correct their mistakes and celebrate another’s success.
I’m the greatest: Possibly the number one difference between being arrogant and being confident is how you view yourself and others. An arrogant person believes that they are more important and superior to everyone else. Confidence is when you know that you’re amazing but also realising that everyone else is just as amazing as you are.
It’s not you, it’s me
When all is said and done, the crucial distinction between confidence and arrogance is a sense of security. Despite appearances, an arrogant person is using their inflated opinion of their own worth to cover up feelings of insecurity. Boastful and proud behaviour is used to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. A confident person is able to engage with, and appreciate others, because they are convinced of their own significance. They know their own value and can similarly see worth in those around them without detracting from their own surety.
The bible teaches that each one of us is valuable. It tells us that God considers everyone as being important. This is good news. If you view the people you interact with in light of the fact that God calls them valuable, it becomes very difficult to be arrogant and consider yourself superior to them. If your confidence is weak and you’re feeling insecure, maybe you just need to remember that God loves you and that as far as he is concerned, you matter.