In many situations, for you to be able to get what you want or need, you have to be willing to “ask for it.” That is, you need to be able to engage with others to request something specific – help, support, an answer, an action, an item, etc. Sounds simple; but reality is that few people ask for what they really want. Most merely ask for what they feel comfortable articulating and it is up to the person dealing with them (e.g., boss, spouse, friend, salesperson, customer service person) to read between the lines and guess what is going on and how to solve the problem or fill the need. Why is it so hard to ask for what you want?
There are key factors that often keep us from asking, here are the major two:
1. You don’t know what you want
A large majority of people don’t feel comfortable asking for what they want because they live with an embarrassing secret – they actually don’t know what they want. Sure, they may have some vague ideas about the end-state they want to achieve – for example, “I want to be happy, less stressed, financially independent, respected, etc.” – but they can’t seem to fill in the details sufficiently to identify concrete things they might be able to ask for.
2. You have a limited perspective on what is possible
What you think to ask for will be constrained by what you view as possible or probable. If you can’t envision viable options to investigate or pursue there are no opportunities to ask for help or support in making them a reality.
The kind of asking we are talking about here is not lame asking where someone decides to fold their hands, put their legs up and refuse to work or take ownership their life and expects to live on donations. But it is recognizing that as an individual, you may be limited in an area, and that there’s someone out there who has the skill, the wisdom or the right connection that you need in order to break through a particular situation in your life. The greatest teaching ever given on asking is found in the Bible. In that book, God promises to give His children anything they ask from him, “If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. John 14:14. So if this is the promise, why do we lack as much as we do? The Bible goes on to say “…Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.” James 4:2-3
Everything we will ever desire in this life can be obtained, and as Africans, our eyes should turn towards God, He is the giver of all things that this world contains. And unless we learn to ask for His wisdom, intelligence, creativity, etc.. And do so with the right motives, and believe that He is able to do what we are asking, we will be left at the mercy of others who will likely be more than happy to tell us what we should need and what is best for us. God desires that Africans have it all and not be beggars. Ask and You shall receive!
Part of content sourced from witi.com