Sunday, November 24, 2024
Facebook Instagram Youtube
Home Authors Posts by Cassan Ferguson

Cassan Ferguson

Be an encourager

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Be an encourager

It’s easy to criticize and to speak negatively of others. We do it sometimes without even thinking, it’s almost like second nature to us. We spew out words that break the character of others, instead of  using our words to build others up. It’s almost as if we have become desensitized to the feelings of others, and we get excited when we relish in failure of others. It has become the norm to most, when it actually shouldn’t. We need less criticizing, and more empathizing. We need less judgement, and more encouragement.

The word “to encourage” means :

  • To give support, confidence, or hope to someone.

Did you know that through encouraging others we:

  • Inspire others.
  • Fortify others.
  • Stir up others.
  • Encouraging words can cheer someone on.
  • Encourage hope in disheartened hearts.
  • Lift others through kind words.
  • Breathe fresh life into tired weary hearts through loving words.

If we had to pause and make a point of encouraging at least one person a day, I think it would turn into a natural habit or character trait. It will not only benefit the person on the receiving end, but it will encourage you too. Plus, I am a firm believer of “what we sow , we shall reap.” If we sow kindness, love, encouragement to others, we too shall receive it when it need.

Take note of the people in your world, from family, to friends, to college friends, through to work colleagues. Take a moment to encourage them, either in character or encourage them with the things they are passionate about. Then note how their faces light up, and how it will stir their confidence, faith and hope in themselves and in the things that they do going forward.

In the bible it says:

Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. – Proverbs 16:24 

Let’s try to cultivate words that are used to build others up. Words that are sweet like honey, words that encourage , and feed the soul.

Who can you encourage today?

DEAR CONVERSATION HIJACKER

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
DEAR CONVERSATION HIJACKER

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a conversation whereby a person has completely hijacked the convo by talking, and talking, and talking some more. Every time you change the topic, it somehow bounces back to them and becomes about them. You then leave the conversation feeling more drained than refreshed – because for the last hour or so you’ve only heard their voice and their stories?

Or maybe you’re that person that LOVES to talk and does not like quieter moments. Somehow you always feels the need to share, fill the silence with your voice and with your stories. Conversation hijackers aren’t fun people to relate with, or to hang out with, because it will always be about them, and not about you. But we are here to learn and encourage one another to be better versions of ourselves – so let’s try to fix this issue together shall we?

CONVERSATION HIJACKER

When we take over a conversation, or make every story about our own experience – we are actually stealing from what others are trying to say and feel by bringing the attention back to us.  It’s one thing to empathise and relate with somebody else, but it’s a whole other story when it becomes your personal life story 24 -7.  It then starts to sound like you are in love with the sound of your own voice, as you’re not letting anyone else speak or get a word in.

KEEP THAT MOUTH SHUT

Sometimes we mean well when we share our stories with others, especially if we are trying to relate to them by sharing a familiar  story. But we forget that sometimes we don’t always have to say something, and be a gap filler. Sometimes, we need to let people have their moment, let them talk, let them breathe and feel safe in that moment.

The best thing we can do sometimes: is to sit, be quiet, listen and show support and understanding. You don’t need to always find a story in your memory bank, and try to use it in a relatable way. If someone is confiding in you, looking for empathy, advice, or is just simply telling you about their day – let them have their moment. Sharing is caring after all!

DEAR CONVERSATION HIJACKER

  • It’s okay to be quiet.
  • It’s okay not to have an answer, and opinion about EVERYTHING all of the time.
  • It’s okay when things get quiet in a crowd.
  • It’s okay, if not amazing, to just be there and to listen to a friend in need.
  • It’s okay to hold those lips together and rest that gorgeous voice of yours. (You will survive , I promise)

Trust me, you will be okay, voice or no voice. Find the balance, and learn to read the people you’re with. Read the conversation and know when it’s time to talk, and if what you are going to say is going to take the conversation forward, or if it’s just going to be another story about yourself.

Please note: I am not telling you to be a mime artist and to never speak again, but remember to take turns in conversations, and give others chance to share. I think that this is an area that we can all work on, to be better friends, by being good listeners. Try it out this week, and let me know how it goes – remember “sharing is caring”.

Mom shaming vs pro-parenting

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Mom shaming vs pro-parenting

If we had to focus our energy onto being “pro-parenting”, instead of constantly debating back and forth with “natural birth vs c-section birth, breast milk vs formula, stay-at-home mom vs working mom, co-sleeping vs independent ‘cry it out’ sleeping methods, preschool vs play school vs no school and all the rest” we would be better for it as a community of parents. As a mom, I can so get why the above mentioned can be a sensitive topic – it’s personal from parent to parent. What I don’t get is the “mom shaming”, the attacking (verbally) and the judging of moms and their chosen lifestyles.

We tend to forget, that what works for one will not necessarily work for others. Also, we have no clue as to what the reasons are for said choices, because it’s personal. Yet, as women, we tend to go there, and we tend to share our opinions without being sensitive to others opinions and personal choices. What if a mother couldn’t afford to have her child at home with a nanny? What if a mother couldn’t produce breast milk? What if a mother struggled with post natal depression? What if a mother wanted to work and be a mom?

Does that make her a bad mom?

NO, not at all!

The questions we should be asking ourselves are:

  • Why does it bother us so much?
  • Why does it make us uncomfortable?
  • Or why does it make us want to shame them with our personal opinions and views on the matter?

We can’t make assumptions about other moms and their choices when we haven’t walked in their shoes, or made the effort to know their full story. Being a mom is not a competition – there is no prize for being the perfect mom. Besides I think we all fall short somehow when it comes to parenting, even on our good days! All of us moms just want the best for our children, and want to do our best with the season of life we are in. Mom’s already have to fight off constant “mom guilt”, why do we need to add to that by “mom shaming” one another. We are in this together after all. If anyone should get the reality of motherhood – it is us moms. Therefore, we need to rally together in love. We need to offer support, kindness, love and encouragement. Motherhood isn’t always easy, and it most certainly has its days – therefore, we need each other to cheer one another on.

Let’s rather be pro-parenting, and encourage one another, as we set out to do the best with what we have, in the season we find ourselves in.

Superhero Jesus according to my three year old

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Superhero Jesus according to my three year old

Let’s be honest there are some really abstract looking bibles for children out there with many different versions, and interpretations of the bible. My son has three different bible versions, and each one varies from what is said, to how it is illustrated. (I once saw Jonah and the medium sized fish, instead of Jonah and the whale in a children bible)

Every night before bed, we pray with our 3 year old son. We chat about his day, and we unpack his highlights and lowlights of the day. We then move onto one fantasy fairy tale story, then we pray together and read a bible story. The bible we have settled on for him now, is more realistic in storyline and easy for our son to comprehend. Plus, it has a great section after every chapter to ask your children questions, and discuss themes from the story together. Which I love because I get to understand my sons perceptions of the bible, and I learn through him, and he learns through me when we discuss and digest the various bible stories together.

JESUS IS A COOL SUPERHERO

My son is very into superhero’s , and he firmly believes that all good hero’s overcome the bad guys despite the odds. When we read about Jesus, my son lights up and gets so excited because to him Jesus is the ultimate hero.

I asked my son the other night why does he love “superhero Jesus” and this is what he said :

“Because Jesus makes sick people better, and He can walk on water. He also chases the bad guys away, and the bad monsters are scared of Jesus, and because Jesus loves all of us and He is our friend.”

I was blown away by my son’s comment, because he is only three years old, and yet he gets who Jesus is without complicating it. He just believes, He believes in what the bible says of Jesus, and what Jesus said in the bible.

This got me thinking. Faith and Jesus are so simple in the eyes of a child. They just believe, they have never-ending faith and hope in what they read or hear at first glance. But as we get older, and life gets trickier, our faith starts to waver, our hope and belief in Jesus starts to fade, and we need more facts, logical reasoning, or tangible evidence before allowing ourselves the chance to believe in Him.

Reading my sons children’s bible has reminded me to be more child like when it comes to believing in the things of God. It has inspired me to have childlike faith and hope when it comes to asking him for healing, to perform miracles, to always believe that God has his hands over the details even when it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Maybe we all need to look at Jesus, and look to God the way kids do, in absolute awe and with total pure faith. This may require us to let go of the need to control and fix everything. Sometimes, this may mean trusting in the unknown, trusting the process, trusting in Gods perfect timing, and believing that His ways are always for us, and for our good going forward ( Jeremiah 29:11)

If this post encouraged you, or you would like to know more about being in a relationship with Jesus, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Creativity stealers

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Creativity stealers

Whether you are a creative working full-time to a creative who dabbles creatively once in a while, you will at some point bump into (rather abruptly) a “CREATIVE BLOCK”. A creative block stops us from moving with creative freedom. I call these creative blocks – “creative stealers”, as I believe that these stumbling blocks do just that; steal from us personally, mentally, emotionally, as well as creatively. It can be quite frustrating, especially when it is our 9-5 job, and we don’t really have the time to wait around for inspiration to hit. Instead we need to learn how to push those creative blocks over, and learn to work around those moments wisely.

CREATIVITY STEALERS

How do we  move forward and overcome these nasty creative stealers? By acknowledging it, addressing them head on, and rediscover how can we stay fed and inspired creatively going forward. Learn to identify those creativity stealers, and use that knowledge to your advantage by overcoming them and taking back what creatively belongs to you.

1 . SELF DOUBT & LACK OF CONFIDENCE

  • Being creative means you need to feel confident, comfortable and vulnerable when putting yourself out there creatively. Often that vulnerability makes us feel exposed, uncomfortable and we often then doubt what we have created. Self doubt will always steal from us creatively, and block us from exploring and experimenting creatively. Trust yourself, trust your creative process, and believe in yourself and what you are creating.

2 . COMPARISON

  • I think it’s totally natural and normal to sometimes fall into a habit of comparison. It’s almost a human default setting. If you find yourself feeling down about who you are as a creative or as a person, then remind yourself that your life, your work, your journey is a unique masterpiece. Therefore, stay on your path, and celebrate your journey.

3 . UNHEALTHY COMPETITION

  • Unhealthy competition: when you are motivated to outdo somebody else creatively, when you measure your success and gain confidence knowing that you are beating, outshining or out doing somebody else. It’s a miserable head space to be in, and it can be so exhausting!
  • Stay inspired by others creatively, don’t see them as a threat or as competition, instead support and encourage one another – that in itself will free you and empower you creatively.

4 . FEAR OF FAILING / FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH

  • This is another default setting that creatives fall prey too. As we tend to feel like our work is not good enough, or we fear trying something new, or putting ourselves out there just incase we fail, mess up, disappoint, or get it completely wrong all together.
  • Some of the best artists of all time, were the ones who took risks, and did the unthinkable for their time. And, yes I am sure they too messed up plenty of times before getting it right, but least they tried. Even if you do mess up, so what? At least you tried, and at least you can say that you tried, and that you learnt from that, and then start again.

5 . FEELING OVERWHELMED 

  • Working in a creative environment can be overwhelming. Often there are crazy deadlines that need to be met – and somehow all in a short space of time. When we feel frazzled and overwhelmed creatively it can affect how we create and produce (or not produce) work.
  • Avoid feeling overwhelmed by starting everyday by making a list, know what needs to be done, remain calm and stay focused on the task at hand. Invest in exercising for de-stressing, journal so you can filter through thoughts, and make sure that you make time to rest. Invest in things that relax and de-stress you, as well as investing in things that inspire you.

6 . FORGETTING TO HAVE FUN CREATIVELY

  • When working in a creative environment 9-5, our creative work becomes just that “work”. Nothing more, nothing less. Which in turn can make our work become stale and lack fresh inspiration. As creatives we must never forget to “play” creatively, by doing something fun. Maybe expressing ourselves creatively in a different way, or using our free time to create with no limits.
  • I am a writer and a drama teacher, so for to keep me fresh and inspired – I love to film short video clips, or I doodle in my journal (even if it is just stick men) I love exploring those fun moments, as it makes me giggle at myself, it lets me be whoever I need to be right then and there, and that is so refreshing in itself!

So, the next time you feel like you’re being blocked in by those nasty creative stealers – address it, work around it, and overcome it! Happy creating 🙂

Are you in love with the idea of dating and marriage?

Cassan Ferguson
-
2
Are you in love with the idea of dating and marriage?

Dating and marriage for the most part is fun,  exciting, and it’s a full on adventure in every sense of the word with your significant other – your partner in crime. Some people say that the early stages of dating and the first year of marriage is all about that “honeymoon feeling”, as everything is new, fresh, fun, exciting, romantic, and ever so sweet. Then the “not so nice” trying seasons appear and it can sometimes either make or break a relationship. Winter seasons can bring couples together, or it can cause them to drift to apart.

Some people like the idea of being in a relationship and being married, but when it comes to putting in the work – they would rather leave it all together and look for something easy, and bounce in and out of relationships when things get tough, because it’s easier and it’s “fun”.

LOVE & MARRIAGE

I have been married for almost nine years (still early days I know), and have been together with my husband (dating included) for almost eleven years. Our relationship has grown from season to season. We had to face harsh realities about ourselves, and had to overcome some hurdles and challenges along the way. Despite it all; the good and the bad, we still consciously choose one another and  we choose to fight for our love together (not with each other) We tackle the challenges together side by side, and we end up being better for it.

My husband is my best friend, he is my soul mate, my lover, and he is the most amazing father to our son. We have had to embrace change and personal growth over the years, and we had to learn to adjust, compromise and most importantly we had to learn to grow together, and to grow in love. Being married isn’t always butterflies and roses, there won’t always be that exciting “honeymoon” feeling. It’s a constant intentional choosing to fall in love, and to stay in love with that person.

  • Will dating and marriage fulfill an internal issue?

                                  NO

  • Will dating and marriage fix you?

                                  NO

  • Will dating and marriage fill a void in you?

                                NO

FANTASY VS REALITY

Sometimes we enter relationships with certain expectations. We expect the relationship to always be perfect, and to always be fine. We may even expect it to fix and resolve all of our personal problems. We end up placing a lot of pressure on our partners, and start to blame them for our issues. You can’t enter a relationship expecting it to fix internal issues. Yes, you can face issues together and overcome it together. But we can’t hold onto the fantasy that dating and marriage will complete and fix us, without wanting to put the work in ourselves.

Just know that the idea of being in a relationship is very different to actually being in one that is healthy, growing and flourishing. Being in a relationship or being married means a constant choosing to love one another, to encourage one another, to grow together, to inspire one another to be the best possible version of themselves. AND, a big resounding YES to it being fun!

My question to you today is this:

  • Do you love the idea of being in love or are you longing for a deeper, more intimate love that grows and brings the best out of you and that special person?

Relationships should be able to go the distance, and go the distance well. Therefore, when deciding to enter a relationship always do a heart check to see if you are able and willing to be all in with that person.

Stop, look, listen

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Stop, look, listen

Most teachers of little ones have adopted the phrase; “stop, look, listen” in their classrooms. I, myself, am a drama teacher, and I have been teaching for well over 12 years now. That phrase; “stop look listen”, ends up being my go-to whenever the kids in class are too loud, slightly wild, or possibly even out of control (in a good way of course).

The phrase is led by the teacher, then repeated amongst the children until they do exactly that; “stop, look, listen” It makes  them aware that they need to STOP (whatever they are doing and to press pause), LOOK (at the teacher and focus) and LISTEN (to the teacher to follow further instructions ). They then become more aware of their environment, they settle down,  catch their breath, and become more focused.

This got me thinking:

Often when life feels overwhelming and noisy, we tend to feel like we can’t think clearly, and we feel a bit powerless as to what to do next as a means of moving forward. Circumstances and situations may make us feel anxious, which in turn makes us feel powerless to those feelings and anxious thoughts.

I know for me personally when my anxiety creeps in, and starts to consume my feelings, thoughts and actions – I end up feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, like I don’t know where to turn, or what to do next, it’s almost as if I feel lost in the loud chaos that is life. When I start to feel that way I know that I need to : “ STOP-LOOK-LISTEN”

STOP

When you start to feel overwhelmed take a moment to stop, to press pause on whatever it is that is consuming you, then take a deep breath and rest for a moment. Stopping allows you to catch your breath, to recharge, and to refuel, it also helps you to reflect and gain clearer perspective for where you are now, and where you need to go.

LOOK

When we take a moment to pause, and to be present we are able to see things with clarity and with a fresh perspective. When we pause, we are able to look up towards heaven for help. When we stop for a moment, we are able to see Gods goodness, and acknowledge all that He has done, and will still continue to do within our lives.

LISTEN

When we make the time and space to remove all distractions, and to actually be still and quiet, we are able to hear clearer and we are able to know and understand what we are feeling and thinking. We are able to hear from God with clarity.

So the next time you start to feel overwhelmed and anxious, take a moment to “STOP-LOOK-LISTEN”. You are allowed to rest, you are allowed to recharge, you are allowed to gain a fresh perspective and to know that our help comes from God. And that his love will carry us and strengthen us and help us to endure all seasons well.

If this post spoke to you and you would like to know more, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Dear parents, take the pressure off!

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Dear parents, take the pressure off!

As parents you can’t but feel a sense of pressure at times. You constantly feel like you are being pulled and stretched from all sides, and at the heart of it all – all you want to do is your best when it comes to parenting your children.

As parents you feel a stretch in character. Not only are you taking care of the needs of your family, you still need to juggle many other areas. It’s no wonder we feel a subconscious pressure that builds internally. We feel the pressure to juggle a million things, and to juggle it all well. It’s exhausting, am I right?

PRESSURE BUILDERS

  • School fees – school activities, school stationery, school events.
  • Doctor visits – doctor bills, medicine, medicine and more medicine.
  • Home – cooking, grocery shopping, washing dishes, tidying up the house, school uniform and school bag prepping.
  • Daily and night-time routines – supper, bathing the kids, prepping school bags, doing home work with your kids, getting them to bed, waking them up for school, taking them to school and the rest.
  • Balancing life – from work to outside commitments, and hobbies.
  • Weekends – kids parties, family celebrations, special events, family outings.
  • Working – either from home, or normal a 9-5 pm job, working over time, traveling for work, deadlines, presentations.
  • Bills – bills – bills – and more bills.

TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF

We can’t avoid the above mentioned list, or pretend like it doesn’t exist. But we do need to have a fresh perspective over all the things that we do carry as a parents. When life feels overwhelming and we start to feel like the pressure is getting the best of us – then maybe it’s time to remember the following:

  • God will grace us and strengthen us to carry whatever is in our hands.
  • God says in His word that we can do all things in and through him. Therefore, when we feel the pressure and weight of carrying it all – we can ask Him to help us, to guide us, lead us, and grace us.
  • Just know moms and dads that we are doing the best that we can with the season we are in – there is no need to be “perfect”. Just try your best, be real , be present, and be grateful for all the things that you do have (good health, food to eat, beds to sleep in)
  • Don’t forget to do things that refreshes and recharges you (whether it’s exercising, journaling, painting, meeting up with friends, being outdoors in nature). Do things that keep your soul refreshed

Parenting can be fun and exciting, but there are times where it can feel heavy and it can feel hard. Just like there are different seasons in friendships and in marriages, there are seasons in family dynamics too. Family is very important above all the other tasks and “to do” lists. Therefore, we need to make sure that we as parents are healthy – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, as this will influence how we parent. Therefore, you are a priority, take care of yourself, learn to read yourself and know when to rest and to do things that refuel and refresh you.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to be still, to breathe, to regroup, to press the restart button and to tackle it again  with a fresh perspective!

You’ve got this fellow moms and dads! We are in this together, you are not alone.

Does social media influence you more than it should?

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Does social media influence you more than it should?

Social media has the power to inspire, encourage, and equip us whilst keeping us connected and socially “in the know”. Yet, there are times where social media sneakily starts to consume us and without realizing it we let it influence our thoughts, feelings and actions.

I think a great way to become self-aware, is to practice having quick pause moments where you quickly do an internal check with your heart and mind and quickly assess where you’re at. While you are on social media, or when you are finished being online, pause for a moment and take note if social media is negatively or positively influencing you. 

HOW DOES SOCIAL MEDIA NEGATIVELY INFLUENCE US?

  • When we start to assume and speculate more than we should.
  • When we read into things that aren’t necessarily there.
  • When we start to negatively discuss (or gossip) about what we see online.
  • When we start to compare or compete with others online.
  • After all the competing and comparing, we end up feeling down in spirit, insecure, jealous, and we may even start resenting others online.

WHERE DOES OUR CONFIDENCE COME FROM?

Whenever I feel insecure and lacking confidence due to comparing myself to others online I know it’s because I have forgotten who I am, and who I have been called to be. If I feel down in spirit after being on social media, then I know that I have made social media an idol in my life. When I get to that negative head and heart space, then I know it’s time to have an online detox, and to get fresh  heavenly perspective from God.

Social media, along with the followers, likers, haters and random strangers can not affirm our character, or sense of self-worth. Our hope and confidence comes from being in a personal relationship with God. When we become familiar with his character and with his promises, we soon become confident of who we are. I don’t know about you, but I would rather let my personal relationship with God influence me, as opposed to social media.

Let God shape your character, not man.

Habits of highly productive people

Cassan Ferguson
-
0
Habits of highly productive people

Productive people take what is in their hands and carry it well. Therefore whatever they carry, along with their character, will grow in strength and in capacity. We are all capable of more than we give ourselves credit for but we end up doubting ourselves because we lack the tools and knowledge that will help us to become more productive and efficient.

HABITS OF PRODUCTIVE PEOPLE

The following tips below will help you to feel more empowered, equipped and more productive as you tackle each day.

1 . KNOW WHAT IS IMPORTANT

Often when we have a long list of “to do’s”, we end up trying to do it all in one go. This isn’t manageable or wise. We consequently end up not completing things that are important because we were not prioritizing tasks according to their level of importance. Know what is important on your list, and time line it with a due date, make sure that each day you are working towards completing it.

2 . PLAN YOUR DAY

Planning your day from start to finish with a list of things that needs to get done, will help you to outline your day. It will also help you to prioritize your work flow efficiently. When you know where you are headed, you have vision, direction and a deep sense of purpose for what you would like to achieve at the end of the day.

3 . KNOW WHEN TO REST

I think most people struggle with the thought of conscious resting. The word “rest” makes people feel anxious, as we feel either guilty when we rest, or we feel like there is no time to rest. However, rest is so important, as it refreshes and refuels us both mentally, emotionally and physically. Well rested individuals end up enduring and going the distance well.

4 . MAKE LISTS

Often we tend to feel overwhelmed when see a task before us. We feel overwhelmed at the thought of how “big” it is, and the anxiety we feel towards it often clouds our logical thought processes. When we break down a project into smaller daily lists, we feel less overwhelmed and more organized as we simplify each day into smaller action steps. Lists are your friends – so make them, then thank them afterwards!

5 . KNOW WHEN TO MUTE DISTRACTIONS

Often what stops me from productive are little distractions. Distractions being; my phone, and everything on it (messages, app notifications, you name it!) Distractions encourage procrastination, which means everything takes twice as long to do and to complete. When we mute all distractions, we remain focused and motivated on the task at hand, and end up completing it a lot faster.

8 .  COMMITTED TO GROWING

Productive leaders have a desire to grow and stretch in character. Therefore they will naturally stretch and increase in capacity. Growing in character isn’t always an easy process, as it requires being intentional with how you outwork your day-to-day. We are all capable of more than we know or realize, yet we give up without even trying. If you want to grow in whatever role you find yourself in, then why not commit to being intentional about growing in character.

What is your hands currently, and how can you become more productive with it in your day to day?

1...101112...25Page 11 of 25

Connect with us

131,149FansLike
52,400FollowersFollow
0SubscribersSubscribe

Sorry, it appears you're are using a browser that isn't supported to view this page. Try using another browser (e.g Chrome or Firefox) so that you can connect with us.

© 2024 1Africa