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Cassan Ferguson

Tell me what’s your status?

Cassan Ferguson
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Tell me what’s your status?

Life seems to have become a series of unfortunate online status updates, wouldn’t you agree? I’m talking about those status updates that feel like mini journal entries written by fictional characters from a day time soap opera show. Have you ever gone through your news feed and come across a status or two and thought to yourself “What on earth?”

You know those status updates that make you feel uncomfortable or very confused:

“I don’t trust anyone, thanks to life itself.”

“My dog poo’d on everything, and I had to clean it up using my bare hands” #yolo

“I wonder if I will ever find the true meaning of life? Anyone else?”

“I woke up with a sore throat, then I ran into the wall with my eyes closed!”

From bizarre status updates, to those that update their statuses every ten minutes, almost as if they are recording a live news feed of their lives. Because they don’t want you to miss a thing! Now, I am not judging, in fact I like your updates, sometimes they amuse me.

However it got me thinking whilst reading about your cat’s eczema on Facebook:

WHY DO WE SHARE CERTAIN UPDATES ONLINE?

Obviously we share it because we can, and it’s our personal profile and we can do whatever we want with it, right? Reason I ask is because, I started asking myself this question this year, as I wanted to check in with myself and know and understand my motives behind sharing certain things online.

I know if I feel upset I want people to know, insert: “PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT”.  If I want to vent and someone isn’t close by in person, and my phone is in my hand, then it seems only fair that I open up one of my social media apps and start formulating what I want to say, and how I want to say it! Because the whole world needs to know!

When I start typing, I pause and read through the status update, and I think to myself:

“What are you wanting to achieve by posting this? Will this status update solve or change the issue? Will it add value to myself or to others?”

When I stop to ask myself those questions, I immediately delete the post, because if my words are not adding value, then why even bother to say it?

Sometimes we think that our updates will challenge or change a person’s perception, and maybe it does sometimes. But if it is done in a way that comes across as harsh, cold, or just plain negative, it won’t really carry weight or have an impact.

For some updating and sharing their statuses online makes them feel more connected with others online, because truth be told they may feel lonely and want to share status updates so that they feel like someone is relating to them, affirming them , connecting with them.

I remember the days before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Myspace, those days where we connected with one another in person, saw each other more in person, we used to write and read more! I miss those days sometimes, but I suppose it’s all about balance with online living and normal living and remembering that we do not need to find affirmation and fulfilment through our online status updates! We too can feel connected to others through friendships, through knowing who we are, through personal relationships, through to having conversations with others in person.

Before you type your next status update, pause to reflect on why you are wanting to post and what you are wanting to achieve through your status update. Are you wanting a reaction from others, do you crave the attention and affirmation, or do you simply want to encourage, have a laugh, or share insight, or add value to others when posting online? It’s good to check in on ourselves, and see where our hearts are at, especially when it comes to the utilizing of social media. It can become consuming, if not distracting, and sometimes it can enable us to live and behave in way that is not healthy.

The Significance of Dating Your Husband

Cassan Ferguson
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The Significance of Dating Your Husband

What do you mean I still need to make time to date my husband?

We are married, so surely that means date day everyday right? WRONG! There is this misconception that once you get married, you slowly morph into one being. Then you stop having fun with your best friend, your partner in crime, your lover, your baby’s daddy, you know, your husband!

Before getting married there seemed to be endless time for going on dates. Sometimes having five dates in one day was the norm, to having a date weekend! Time in those days of pre-marriage seemed endless, there was date after, date after date! Then you marry the man of your dreams, the years pass by, you’ve bought a house, bought cars, worked hard at growing your career, extended your family, and you have other commitments or hobbies on top of everything else. Life seems a bit full now, and has become a juggling act. This person you are married to, your partner, your lover , your best friend becomes your housemate? It’s a harsh reality for some!

Life happens! We start growing our families, which then puts greater demand on us to work harder, wake up earlier, and go to bed later. We often feel like we are being pulled in all directions all at once, that going on dates with our partners is an after thought, or not a thought at all. In the midst of when “life is happening”, and life is passing us by, we need to pause and look at creating moments that will honor our partners, that will ultimately place love and value into your significant others.

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF DATING YOUR HUSBAND

  1. IT CREATES A SENSE OF VALUE
    When we place focused time aside to go out with our partners, we are actually saying; ” This time spent with you is more important that anything else right now, you are valued, you are worthy of my time. I want to still learn from you, and have focused time on just you.” When a person feels valued, they feel treasured , and loved and they start to flourish in your presence! Wouldn’t we want our partners to feel those things sincerely, and wouldn’t we want to feel those things?
  2. IT PLACES HONOR ON YOUR MARRIAGE
    Yes, the planning of a scheduled date isn’t as spontaneous like it used to be. Maybe you need to plan around scheduling in baby sitters to help look after the kids.  Even though the quality time becomes more scheduled ,that time that has been set aside for your partner becomes a commitment and an honor. It becomes a sacred space for just the two of you , something that both of you will look forward to!
  3. IT REFRESHES YOU
    When “life happens”, and we just roll with the motions, without giving thought to the ones we love the most, they tend to miss out, and they get our left overs whilst everybody else gets our best! Going on dates with your partner, and doing something fun together will refresh both of you! You will laugh together, share stories, dream together, experience something new together!
  4. IT CREATES UNITY
    When you place value on spending quality time together, you will feel closer together and emotionally connected and strong as a couple. You will handle obstacles and trying seasons together well.

MARRIAGE – THE GIFT

Our partners are a gift from God, a special treasure that needs to be taken care of. We can’t expect our marriages to flourish, when we aren’t putting the effort and work into them. If you have been feeling disconnected to your husband or to your wife, may I encourage you to believe that God wants the best for your marriage. He wants the best for both of you. It’s not too late to press the refresh button on your marriage, it may require having an honest conversation with your partner, to the rescheduling of quality time for one another. Why not start today?

If this post spoke to you, or encouraged you, and you would like to know more about being in a relationship with God, may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Not Another Selfie

Cassan Ferguson
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Not Another Selfie

“NOT ANOTHER SELFIE”, I whispered under my breath as I was scrolling through one of my social media apps! Lately, I have been seeing way too many selfies, especially coming from the same people with the same poses, but maybe with a different caption. Now, do not get me wrong, I like taking the odd selfie, but I don’t take it seriously. It’s more for fun, once in a while, and most of the time it may be taken with a friend, or with a family member and it’s about capturing the memory rather than capturing the perfect pose.

Selfie defined as:

A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.

The other day I was scrolling through Pinterest, and I had giggle when I saw an image saying: 

“HOW TO TAKE THE PERFECT SELFIE”.

I thought it was a meme at first, but when I clicked on it. I was surprised to find out that it was a blog post dedicated to teaching girls how to pose and perfect their selfies. I started reading it, because I still thought it was a joke.

The blog post went on to say:

It’s about the lighting, then angle your face properly so that you don’t look fat, then put make up on to high light your features so that you don’t look bland in your images, then edit your images until it’s perfect!

Wow, that sounds a bit time consuming and a bit of an insult to us girls if you ask me!

The reality is, is that we are living in a world that is largely influenced by social media. MTV teen choice awards have a section dedicated to “Choice Selfie Taker”, where celebrities who take the most and the best selfies win an award! You will even find notorious magazines writing articles dedicated to the “Top 20 Celebrity Selfies”, to famous stars releasing selfie books filled with images that they took of themselves. Selfies have become the norm, especially amongst young people, it seems to be a way of life for them. Some people would not dare to leave the house without their selfie stick, or without posting their daily selfie.

Too many selfies start to give off that sense of; “Look at me!”, “No, really look at me, and like this please”, “Hey, it’s me, I’m still here!” ,”Hey, is anybody out there? Comment please!”. Now, please note that I am not judging the selfie generation, I think selfies can be fun if taken with the right spirit behind it. I do worry when selfies become consuming, and when you start finding your worth and beauty through posing for a perfect photo of yourself.

Maybe we need selfie rehab?

QUESTIONS TO ASK OURSELVES

Are we consumed by wanting to post daily selfies? Do we spend hours thinking of how we are going to take the perfect selfie, to the planning of our wardrobe to hair and make up for the perfect selfie? Does it take up most of your thought space? Does it take up most of your day?

Why are we wanting to post the selfie? Do we post our selfies for more likes, for attention and affirmation, or are we just feeling a bit lonely? It’s good to ask ourselves these questions, as we get to reflect internally on how we are truly doing on the inside. Please note when I ask these questions, I am asking myself, and checking in with myself too!

 I love this verse in the bible:

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful.
I know that full well!
Psalm 139:14

Understand that your beauty comes from within, it comes from knowing and believing that you are beautiful in your own unique way! There is no one quite like you! Your beauty is unique, it is wonderful, it is worth celebrating! Next time you take another selfie, have fun celebrating your true beauty without stressing about taking the “perfect posed selfie”.

As Audrey Hepburn once said:

The true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

Assumption – The Marriage Killer

Cassan Ferguson
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Assumption – The Marriage Killer

Assumptions possess the ability to kill and destroy relationships, friendships, and marriages. Assumptions happen when someone believes in a thought or a notion even if it is not factual or true, they then react and respond emotionally based on their thoughts. Which in turn causes a lot of damage to the person on the receiving end. Negative assumptions derive from our own personal fears and past experiences.

I remember when my husband and I were newlyweds, I did not realize how I feared him leaving me and our marriage. It was obviously a lie, and a very real fear for me. Therefore I would read into things that weren’t even there. I would start arguments based on what I thought and assumed of him and his character. Which weren’t true at all, and were very hurtful for him.

The truth of the matter was that I had been hurt in the past and I did not realize how many walls were guarding my heart. I did not realize how fragile and insecure my heart was. Therefore if my husband did not respond to me in the way I expected of him, or if he did something that I did not like, I would start to assume the worst of him and lash out on him! I was so fearful of him hurting me, that I would always assume the worst. I assumed the worst of him because I never wanted to feel shocked by the potential hurt. It was almost as if I was wanting to expect the worst for myself and for my marriage. That is not what God intends for us, that is not His perfect will for our marriages! God wants marriages to flourish, and He wants them to be strong, and He wants it to be a blessing!

I remember one night, my husband and I were chatting and I started assuming the worst again. My husband ever so gently, yet firmly said to me; “This has got to stop, what you are saying is hurtful and not true!” I immediately broke into tears, because he was right! My words, my actions, the lies I was believing in my heart were hurting him, and they were hurting our marriage! What a wake-up call! I knew then and there enough was enough! I wanted a strong and healthy marriage based on truth, based on love, based on believing in the best of each other, and most importantly based on the promises of God. I knew that I had to get to the root of my unhealthy way of thinking, by addressing the issue! Ever since doing that, it has added so much strength to our marriage, and in turn has blessed us in so many ways!

KILL ASSUMPTION

Killing assumption may require us to do the following:

Understand the root of assumption – It is important to know and identify the root cause of your assumptions, so that you know how to work on it. You can’t work on something or make changes in your life, if you don’t even know what you are working on or changing. When those assumption triggers go off, pause and ask yourself “why am I feeling this way? Where does the fear come from?” Identify your assumption triggers!

Forgive, let go, and let God – Once you know and understand the root of your assumptions, decide to forgive the past offense, decide to let it go, decide that you will no longer let it control you and negatively affect those around you. The great news is that we can come to God with our concerns, because He wants to heal us, He wants to replace our fears with His promises and with His truth. He wants us to be whole and thriving in our marriages.

Retrain your brain – Once you have a fair understanding on the root of your assumptions, and you have chosen to forgive and move forward from the past. You will now have to go on a journey of retraining your brain to think in a different way. Instead of always fearing the worst, and allowing your mind to go down that harmful road, you will now have to train your brain to think in a more positive manner. This will take time, but if you commit to it, both yourself and your spouse will benefit from it long-term.

Do it together – Marriage is a partnership, you do things together, and you experience the ups and the downs together. Therefore it is important to encourage and to be patient with your spouse especially if they are working on this vulnerable area. When you decided to marry your partner, you decided to have the good and the bad, the sweet, the not so sweet parts of your partner. There is nothing more beautiful or rewarding when watching your partner grow in all areas, because you did it together!

Believe the best – Start to believe in the very best of others! Do not allow your mind to drift into assuming the worst of others, before speaking to them. Therefore that means we need to give others the benefit of the doubt! This is not always easy to do, as it requires us to have faith and to trust in others!

If you have been struggling in this area of assumption, and you feel overwhelmed and consumed by fear. Just know that God wants the best for you, and he wants the best for your marriage! If you would like to know more about God, then may I encourage you to click on the link below. Here’s to many more years of happy and thriving marriages!

Burnout

Cassan Ferguson
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Burnout

As the end of the year approaches, everyone seems to operate and move in high stress mode! Projects need to come to a close, absurd deadlines need to be met,  projections, budgets and forecasting needs to be approved for the following year, and then there’s normal life stuff that we need to see to. You know; family life, social life, other hobbies and commitments! We need to keep on moving, keep on doing, and well, keep on keeping on!

When I am beyond tired and I have to keep on going, I often joke and say “Guess, I’ll just sleep when I’m dead!” I swallowed those words one day, and I asked myself; “What on earth are you saying?” I then had a hard look at my life, and I realized that I can’t keep on keeping on, and not take care of myself! Besides why I am joking about only receiving rest once I am dead? That is a little crazy!

With the year coming to an end, we may find ourselves moving at such a rapid pace trying to juggle everything that is thrown our way, that we may start to feel overwhelmed, anxious , mentally and emotionally exhausted! Therefore it is important to look after ourselves, so that we can finish off the year feeling strong, without experiencing a total burnout!

The definition of a burnout:

Work too hard, work like a Trojan/horse/slave, work/run oneself into the ground, wear oneself to a shadow, work one’s fingers to the bone, drive oneself into the ground, sweat, sweat blood, work day and night, burn the candle at both ends, burn the midnight oil, overtax oneself, overtax one’s strength, kill oneself, do too much, overdo it, strain oneself, overburden oneself, overload oneself, drive/push oneself too hard.

Basically a burnout happens, when we move at such a rate and capacity that is not normal, and definitely not healthy for us long term! If we continually move at a fast pace, and take on too much, and constantly stress, it starts to take its toll on our bodies. A burnout leads to Adrenal fatigue, which is a stress condition where the adrenal glands become fatigued, tired, exhausted, and in the later stages of progression the adrenals can even become dysfunctional.

RECOGNIZING BURNOUT

  • You feel completely tired all of the time. When you wake up in the mornings, it’s almost as if you’d never slept and you hit the snooze button as if your life depends on it.
  • Mentally you feel overwhelmed, and you can’t think clearly or focus properly.
  • You wake up during the night, thinking of all things that you still need to do.
  • You start to develop unhealthy eating habits, and tend to eat things that are quick and easy because of your fast paced lifestyle.
  • You start to experience aches and pains in your body, from carry stress in your muscles.
  • Emotionally you feel unstable and very sensitive, or very grumpy, like you may just throw a chair at your co-worker!

Sound familiar?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to end the year feeling as if the world has completely devoured me and left me to feel completely drained! So how do we look after our health, and end the year off feeling strong, motivated, and not depleted ? Maybe we should prioritize the following:

1) SLEEP, SLEEP, AND SLEEP: Sleep strengthens your immune system, it allows your brain to rest and recharge allowing for better brain function for the next day. Having 8 hours or more sleep will also improve your mood, and it will encourage healthier eating patterns, along with a healthier looking you! Lack of sleep encourages the zombie look, making a person look aged beyond their years!

2) EAT HEALTHY: If we are constantly stressed, and living a fast paced life, we tend to eat food that is quick and on the go! Which entails caffeine (by the bucket loads) carbs, oil, foods with high sugar content! When we have a come down from all the sugar highs, and caffeine lows – we look for our next quick fix, and fill up on more junk! It then becomes a repetitive cycle! Therefore it is important to plan healthier meals that will nourish the body! Drinking up to 8 glasses of water a day, will help flush out the system, and keep the body hydrated.

3) TAKE TIME OUT: Sometimes we move at such fast pace that we forget to put so much needed time out for ourselves, just to do something that refreshes us! This could range from being aware of taking out a few minutes out of the day to maybe go for a walk outdoors, have coffee with a friend, exercise, have a creative outlet, have a spa day or have a planned holiday! It is important that we look for moments where we are doing things that feed into our souls and refresh us!

Don’t forget to prioritize your health, and take care of yourself as you finish off the year feeling strong, healthy and mentally prepared to enter 2016!

When a Friend Stabs You In The Back

Cassan Ferguson
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When a Friend Stabs You In The Back

A few years ago I found myself in a situation where a “close friend” sent a message to my phone that was meant for another friend, and it was about me! Talk about a rude awakening! She then immediately replied apologizing, but then she turned it around on me saying “Yeah, but it’s true, now you know!” I was shocked if not devastated, as I felt like I was taken off guard, and it felt so undeserved! I knew in order for me to move forward I had to deal with it in the right way, in a loving way. As I did not want this incident to define or change the way I perceive friendships to be.

It is never easy trusting others, especially when a “friend” has stabbed you in the back. Sometimes the shock of their betrayal leaves you feeling devastated, and confused about why they would do such a thing to you. The truth of the matter is that somewhere along the line we will experience hurt and disappointment, therefore we need to know how to overcome it so that the pain does not hold us back from moving forward.

Therefore we need to remember:  

CHOOSE TO FORGIVE

At the end of the day, people are still people and they will make mistakes whether intentional or not. Sometimes based on their insecurities, or their belief systems. A so-called “friend” may hurt you because they never truly had your best interests at heart, or maybe they were jealous of you, or deeply insecure around you, or maybe they weren’t a real friend to you to begin with.

We have a choice to either forgive, and move forward or we can hold onto it and let it build resentment and harden our hearts. When we choose to forgive those that hurt us it not only sets us free, but it releases us from the pain and from the person who hurt us.

“Forgiveness does not excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart.”

THEIR BETRAYAL SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU

If someone has hurt you, please know that their betrayal should not stop you from trusting others. Just because one person chose to hurt you, it does not mean that everyone is out to get you and do the same to you. I remember there was a season in my life, where I had been hurt by someone close to me. I chose not to forgive them, I held onto my pain so tightly that I then became cold, cynical and sometimes just plain rude. I used my pain as a means of justifying bad behaviour, which in turn hurt many others around me! Never let pain become familiar in your heart. Be brave enough to let the pain go and move on from it in a healthy way. In doing so, this will encourage us to keep our hearts soft and open to making and trusting new friends.

USE WISDOM WHEN CHOOSING FRIENDS

You have choice as to who you let in to your personal world. Protect your heart by choosing the right kinds of friends that will look after your heart! Also observe the character of the person you are friends with, note how they behave and how they speak of others when those people aren’t around. Do they speak lovingly of others, or do they break others down with their words? If they speak badly of others when they are not around, chances are that they are talking bad about you when you aren’t around.

Use wisdom when choosing friends that will ultimately play a role in shaping and influencing your world!

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK

In the bible Jesus was the perfect illustration of ultimate forgiveness! Many turned against him, and spoke badly of him and his character. Yet time and time again, he chose forgiveness, he chose love, and he constantly embraced everyone. WHY? Because he chose to love all of us perfectly, with unconditional love.

If you would like to experience this kind of unconditional perfect love that will never disappoint you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Four Things We Can Learn From Essena O’Neill

Cassan Ferguson
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Four Things We Can Learn From Essena O’Neill

Last week there were many online posts about Essena O’Neill popping up throughout our online social media forums and everyone had something to say about it! I know I did!

In case you missed it:

Essena O’Neill a very young online influencer decided to quit the online game! Now some of you may be thinking “Yeah, but what’s the big deal? People go off-line all the time!”. Well Essena created major headlines, as her followers range from hundreds of thousands, and what she had to say about why she was quitting the online game caused many to question themselves. Essena deleted nearly 2000 of her Instagram images, and then edited the captions of her pictures with the real subtext of what she was really feeling, experiencing in the pictures. This action alone created a major online stir!

I’m quitting Instagram, YouTube and Tumblr for good. Deleted over 2000 photos here today that served no real purpose other than self-promotion. Without realising, I’ve spent majority of my teenage life being addicted to social media, social approval, social status and my physical appearance. Social media, especially how I used it, isn’t real. – Essena O’Neill. 

At first everyone was supporting this young girl for sharing her revelations on how social media had consumed her in a negative way, and how she now wants to encourage younger people to live a more present and healthier lifestyle. A few days later, others started attacking Essena saying it was all a publicity stunt to grow her followers, and increase her fame status. Whatever your opinion may be on Essena O’Neill, one thing we can all agree on is that she caused us to reflect and think about how we are utilizing online media.

I know for me, it caused me to stop and reflect on the following :

ONLINE BULLYING

We live in a world today, where we want to support others happiness, but with a lot of skepticism. “Essena is doing such great thing for young people, but she should have known better!” From negative opinions on others life choices, to those that make their angst known online very loudly and very clearly, end up becoming online bullies. 

Now, obviously we are all humans, and we have our own opinions and thoughts that resonate with who we are and what we believe. However I find it very sad, when others go out of their way to attack others online saying hurtful things that are just plain ridiculous. I often wonder if people would say those things in person, or if they hide behind being loud and rude online. Sometimes people react negatively or defensively to things, if poked at a sensitive spot within a person. Then they retaliate, get defensive and verbally attack others as a means of feeling better about themselves.

I think we need to start being aware of online bullies, and maybe check in with ourselves to make sure that we aren’t becoming online bullies!

WE HAVE A CHOICE

I believe we have a choice on how we choose to interact with social media. We have the power to choose what we show online, to how we utilize our social media. Social media does not control us, and it should not leave us feeling bad about ourselves in any way! Maybe social media works for you, and you don’t let it consume you, because you have healthy boundaries in place! Maybe for some of you social media has a negative impact on your life, then maybe it is time to cut it out of your life for a while. We have a choice when it comes to our happiness and well-being, therefore choose wisely regarding this area of your life.

RAISING HEALTHY CHILDREN

As a mom I want my children to grow up always knowing their worth. I never want them to find themselves and their identity in other people’s opinions, to the things that they do, to what apps may exist in the future. Essena O’Neill speaks openly about how as a teenager she found herself lost and absorbed in finding her identity in online media.

As parents we will need wisdom when it comes to raising our children in a very progressively growing tech age. We need to be committed to showing our children healthy values that will shape their identity. We can teach them to be present, to play outdoors, to read books that grow their imaginations, to making quality time for them and having meaningful conversations that help validate them. Our children will need to have a greater understanding of who they are before stepping into the social media world, and most importantly they need to be age appropriate!

ONLINE AFFIRMATION

Essena O’Neill speaks very openly about how she would compare herself with others online. She even went on to say how she was  completely consumed with social media, from checking her newsfeed for hours, to the taking and posing for perfect pictures for her social media platforms would literally take hours.

All of it left her feeling very empty, because the truth of it all is that we can’t find wholeness, and happiness via online affirmation. It doesn’t matter how many likes your pictures receive, to how many followers you may have. Those things will never make you happy long-term. The truth is people/followers should not be validating who we are.

We should know our self-worth, and value, by understanding who we have been created to be, by getting to know the one who created us. If having a relationship with God seems unfamiliar to you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Having Vision For Your Children

Cassan Ferguson
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Having Vision For Your Children

VISION DEFINED AS:

“The ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom.”

In the vision seeking or in the vision forecasting, we see a picture of what could be, then we break down that vision into taking action or making smaller steps that lead us closer towards that vision. Working towards a vision stirs a sense of excitement and expectation in our hearts!

VISION FUELS PASSION

Having vision or casting vision over our lives, gives us a sense of purpose and a strong sense of direction. When we know where we are heading in life, we will move in that direction with passion because we are driven with purpose!

“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.”
– Joel.A.Barker

KINDS OF VISION

We can have a sense of vision, purpose and direction for many different areas of our lives:

PERSONAL
Maybe we want to be healthier, or maybe we want to grow more emotionally, to intellectually.

MARRIAGE
Maybe you envision having a healthy marriage that is strong, filled with passion, and that can endure any storm!

FAMILY
As a parent, maybe you envision your children doing great things with their lives as they grow up.

WORK
Maybe you envision yourself starting a business, or maybe you want to grow into a senior position.

GODLY VISION
Godly vision is vision that is birthed and inspired by God. Godly vision aligns us with his word, and it aligns us with the heart of God. It’s the kind of vision that will not only bless us, but it will bless those around us.

THE POWER OF CASTING VISION OVER YOUR CHILDREN

Because my husband and I understand the importance of having a Godly vision over our household, we understand that our day-to-day actions and decisions will impact how we move forward as a family! If I envision our son to be confident, then I need to make sure that I am dealing with my low self-esteem issues. If we envision our son to be an amazing dad and husband, then my husband needs to encompass those characteristics. If we want our son to be loving, kind and generous, then we too need to show those qualities consistently. It is not always easy, but it is something we are committed to.

Our children may not always remember the things we say, but they will remember; how we acted, behaved, to how we took action in the day-to-day. They will mimic similar behavior traits one day. Therefore as parents we need to know and understand the vision for our children so that we can break it down into actions that we live out day-to-day for our children to see.

A VISION THAT IMPACTS A NATION

Our children will be the next generational leaders of our country. We as their parents need to be actively aware of that, as we are raising children that will ultimately shape a nation, by how they embrace life, to how they raise a new generation of children. How exciting is that thought? We have the honour of raising world-changing individuals! With that thought, and with that kind of vision, we would need a lot of wisdom from God on how to raise our children in a way that will shape and impact their destiny!

The great news for us as parents is that we can constantly draw on God, to lead us in how we need to guide our children. We can’t be passive about parenting and just hope that our children will turn out okay. We need to know and understand the God-given vision for our children and ask God to show us how to lead our children lovingly towards it.

If you feel that you may be lacking direction and purpose, due to a lack of vision in your life. Then why not start off by seeking a personal relationship with God. If you are wanting to know more on how to go about doing this, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

Responding To Verbal Attack At Work

Cassan Ferguson
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Responding To Verbal Attack At Work

I am very passionate about what I do work wise! I pride myself in knowing that I am someone who is reliable, diligent, hardworking, and very passionate about giving my best at work. Knowing these things makes me feel confident in what I do. Then after receiving a bad comment about my work ethic, it caused me to doubt myself, and lose confidence in who I was. Sounds strange doesn’t it, to lose my confidence over a small comment, but it did!

I received an email with concerns from a client that were based on miscommunication. I felt absolutely gutted when I read the email. I decided to phone the client back instead of replying to the email, so that I could clear the air properly. The conversation went really well, and the client then understood that it was indeed miscommunication. But after that phone call, I still didn’t feel right. It sat with me the whole entire day. I felt hurt that someone would attack my character based on miscommunication. I started doubting who I was and what I was doing within my working frame.

Have you ever felt like that? Hurt by someone’s comments, especially when they are not true? Has someone ever attacked your character or work ethics to a point that it negatively impacted the way you do your work? If so, how did you respond?

HOW DOES ONE RESPOND TO VERBAL ATTACK?

TAKE A MOMENT

If someone has sent a negative email to you, try not to respond right away. As you may respond out of emotion instead of responding with logical reasoning. Wait awhile to let your thoughts settle a bit, so that you can respond calmly and clearly.

ASK YOURSELF

Ask yourself, if what they are saying is constructive feedback and maybe something you should make note of and be aware of. Constructive feedback should always encourage us to do a better job.

If the person is saying hurtful things to bring a point across, or to demean your character make note of that. Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment without thinking clearly, or maybe they are having a bad day and want to attack and take it out on the next person they encounter.

CONFRONT

We have three options when it comes to confronting a person:

1 ) We can respond with retaliation , and attack them back with guns blazing because we feel entitled! However, saying hurtful things may make us feel good in the moment, but it won’t make things better and it most certainly won’t make it right.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29

OR

2) We can ignore them completely, and let the unresolved issue fester in our hearts until it breeds resentment and anger. Then the next time we see that person we may just punch them. Which is not an option by the way, this isn’t Fight Club!

OR

3 ) We can respond lovingly. This isn’t the easier option, but it is the wisest and the most rewarding option. After you have taken a moment to let your emotions settle, you will start to think more calmly and with more clarity. I never recommend having confrontations over text messages or over emails, as it allows for a lot of unnecessary assumptions to unfold. Someone’s bizarre “emoticon” text reply could be interpreted in a million different forms.

Ask the person if they would be willing to chat face to face, or over the phone so that you can hear their vocal tone and they can hear yours. If this person does not want to resolve the issue with you, and they continue to behave poorly, then I suggest that you take it up with management or with H.R. So that they can help facilitate a much needed conversation.

KNOW

It occurred to me when having to deal with this situation, that I had based my confidence in what I was doing instead of in knowing and basing my confidence in who I was. I let the negative comments completely steal from my day and cause me to doubt myself. I let the thoughts based on another person’s assumptions make me forget who I was and what I was gifted and called to do.

God is the one who has gifted us all with specific giftings and talents. Whatever he has placed in our hands, should be administered with wisdom, care and with excellence. We don’t merely work to please others, but we work to please God. We answer to Him at the end of the day.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Colossians 3:23

Never let a negative comment throw you off course or steal from your confidence. Whatever negative comments were spoken over you, remember they do not define you. Know your self-worth, and value by getting to know God and by understanding His purpose for your life. If you would like to know more on how to go about doing this, may I encourage you to click on the link below. 

Insecurity – The Friendship Killer

Cassan Ferguson
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Insecurity – The Friendship Killer

Insecurity defined as:

Uncertain, anxious about oneself, lack of confidence.

Today we find ourselves living in a world, where we can easily lose our identity and self-worth, and we end up striving towards finding our sense of self-worth in the wrong things – from what we do, to what we look like, to who we know, to what we even own.

Everyone experiences insecurity from time to time, the danger is if we let insecurity define and shape our life. I used to feel inferior to others, I would compare myself to others and I would sometimes quit before ever trying. I let insecurity live in my heart, and I let it dictate how I lived, to how I behaved. Which was all a lie, because I had forgotten who I was, and who I was called to be!

If we entertain insecurity, and allow it to take root in our hearts it will negatively impact our lives, it will cause harm and hurt those around us.

SPOTTING INSECURITY IN OURSELVES AND IN OTHERS

  • Insecure friends can either be really clingy.
  • Insecure friends tend to speak negatively about some of your other friends, as a means of making themselves look good.
  • Insecure friends can be manipulative – They may twist their words and play on your emotions as means of having a hold on you.
  • They assume the worst of others, and often react out of emotions and feel justified when they behave poorly.
  • They find great value in what they do, instead of in who they are.
  • They get upset if someone around them gets promoted, or if something great happens to somebody else.
  • They boast about their successes.
  • They constantly compare themselves with others, and they subconsciously try to compete with you or with others.

INSECURITY – THE FRIENDSHIP KILLER

Do you know someone in your world, that constantly acts out of insecurity around you and it is starting to negatively impact your friendship?  Is it getting to that stage, where you are finding that their insecurities are starting to kill the friendship? How do you move forward in this friendship with them? Do you cut them out of your life completely? Or do you confront them and work on it together?

DEALING WITH INSECURE FRIENDS

Decide
Decide if this friend is worth the frustration, and if you want them in your world long term. If you decide to have them in your world long term, then establish healthy boundaries that will protect both of you from hurting one another. At the end of the day you can decide what you allow to take place in your life.

If the friendship has become unhealthy, and it has become destructive and this friend does not want to grow in this area, then maybe it is time to end that friendship.

Be Wise
Maybe you see the potential in them, and you know that they are wanting to grow in this area, therefore you want to invest in this friendship. May I then urge you to use wisdom when you are with them. Guard your heart, and be careful with the things you trust them with.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” –
Proverbs 4:23 

Confront
If a friend has pushed you too far or has even hurt you due to their insecurities. Then may I encourage you to confront them with love. I find that when we confront others in a loving way, they tend to be more open to hearing and learning from the situation.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”  Ephesians 4:15

Maybe you feel like you live a life filled with insecurity, and you are tired of living it that way: 

KILLING INSECURITY

Unconditional Love
When we have a fresh revelation of how much God loves us, we start to understand that God loves us not for what we do but for who we are. You will then base your value and self-worth in what God says about you. Which in turn will make you feel more secure, and confident in who you are, and what you have been called to do.

Identity
Know who you are in God. Know what God says and thinks about you. Know that you are a child of God, uniquely formed and created with such detail to do only what you can do here on earth.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
1 Peter 2:9

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
Romans 8:17

I believe that God wants us to a live a life that we can enjoy, one that makes us feel alive and free in Him. I don’t believe God wants you to feel inferior, or burdened by insecurity. If this post spoke to you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below to find out more.

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