David Webster, Author at 1Africa

Faith vs impatience

David Webster

-

March 30, 2016

Do you remember when you were young and would look forward to your birthday? I remember counting down days from months before, anticipating the moment – the gifts, the family and the attention. But no matter how much I tried, I could never make time go quicker. I couldn’t change the date to suit my expectations. A day was still 24 hours long and there were a good number of those between my present reality and that precious day in the future.

In many ways, in our faith especially, we can have the same predicament. A big part of our faith journey is believing in the intentional promise of God. He has good things in store for us. Not only that, but He wants to partner with us in assigned activities. The way we think, the story we carry, our nature and our gifting are all part of what makes us uniquely effective for God’s Kingdom. So we pray and ask God for direction. We have dreams that seem impossible, but slowly become reality. We live in constant expectation for what God is going to use us for.

And between our present reality and the dreams God has put inside of us, there are an indefinite amount of days. This is where I used to struggle. If I could count down the days – know when things were going to turn around – I would be fine. Even if it was going to take a few years, I would be able to pace myself, manage my expectations and plan ahead. But God doesn’t do that for a reason. I have come to learn that He is not as interested in goal as we are. He is interested in our relationship with Him in the outworking of that promise. We see what our life could be and want to fight our way there. God shows us what He has in store for us and then begins addressing our present state with step one.

There is no room for impatience when it comes to faith. Faith is a confident dependence on God, who is not seen. It is described in the Bible as substance. You can live off of faith, but you cannot control it yourself. If you are impatient to reach what you believe God has given you, it reveals two issues that directly determine whether you have faith:

You are not sure if your dream is from God

This is a legitimate concern. Believing the amazing things God might be revealing to you can be daunting. You want to accept it as truth, but you also want to make sure you do actually make it. So you strive to make it happen. You impatiently push yourself into situations you have no business being in – all in selfish expectation that the vision for your life can be achieved. But if it is truly a God vision you are chasing, you need to believe that God is going to orchestrate the opportunities and lead you to it.

I believe that God uses the dream as a bait for us to commit to growing in who we are – our character, our skills and our dependence on God. I have seen some crazy things happen in my life recently – things God placed in my heart that I couldn’t have made reality if I tried to. The thing is, I had to grow as a person to be able to get to see the promises become reality. When God told me what He had called me to, it was a very big deal, but now – after going through the hard times and the wait and the frustration – I am fully equipped and set up to own what God has called me to (obviously there is still a whole lot more in store, but I have learnt my lesson).

You are not sure God can get you there

This is a fundamental flaw when it comes to being human. When your world is only made up of what is tangible, it affects what you believe is possible with God. I know we have to deal with all kinds of realities in life. But just because it is reality, doesn’t mean it is our forever. If God has given you hope for a better future; if he has placed dreams in you that don’t seem to make sense with your current position in life and in character – then you are going to have to believe that He will get you there. If God says it, God will do it. It just may not fit in with your desired timeline. Chase God, not His promises.

You may be in a place right now where you have no hope for your future. I remember times when I really struggled to believe that I was worth more than what I had. I know that when your present reality seems impossible, it is sometimes hard to believe God is possible – but He is. He is waiting to take you on an awesome adventure that will change how you see yourself and the world around you. If you want to know more about what it means to have faith, click on the link below.

Of Kings and Prophets: Why the world wasn’t ready

David Webster

-

March 24, 2016

0

Of Kings and Prophets: Why the world wasn’t ready

A few months ago, a friend of mine told me he was working on the set of a new series: an adaptation of the story of the life of David in the Bible. Hearing about the budget and how much work went into the filming process, I was genuinely excited to see the end product.

Of Kings and Prophets recently debuted on ABC in America with a very mixed bag of reviews. And after just two episodes airing, it was cancelled altogether. There were apparently a few reasons for this: Firstly, the viewer ratings were bad; and secondly, a whole lot of Christian groups called for it to be banned due to its violence and sexual content.

Producers had pre-empted the series, claiming that they were not going to shy away from gore and promiscuity. It was a risk, but with shows such as Game of Thrones dominating the screens, it was a justified one to reach a different type of audience.

Personally, I am a little disappointed with the whole situation. I believe there were a few factors that resulted in this television flop. I have listed them below:

The story

Unfortunately, in the two episodes that were released there were some major plot changes from the original. Added narrative is justifiable in some ways, but not when it includes David sleeping with Saul’s wife or the tribe of Reuben betraying its nation. The prophet Samuel was also depicted as an adversary to Saul from the beginning. When it came to Saul’s downfall, they tried to make it look like he was tired of killing and wanted to make a statement as a leader, not that he made unfounded sacrifices refusing to kill the livestock of his enemy as instructed. The anointing of David was also extremely underwhelming – such a pivotal scene was handled as if they were all at breakfast.

So as a Christian, I was disappointed not only because what was added was inaccurate, but also because what was kept could have been a whole lot more effective. There seems to be a notion that real life stories are not dramatic or contextual enough for audiences these days. But I believe the Bible has more than enough twists and turns without adding anything.

The Christian community

It disappoints me to see that Christians are not ready to embrace an honest retelling of the Bible as well. I have spoken to pastors about their opinions on movies such as Noah and many have had positive views – despite some outrageous interpretations of scripture. The consensus was, if it makes the general public more curious about the Bible, then it is a good thing. Of Kings and Prophets would definitely have fallen in the same vein. Yes, it may have had a whole lot of blood and gore. Yes, it did have scenes with a whole lot of skin. But to be honest, it is not even an exaggeration of what was going on in that day.

I think many Christians would be completely appalled by the environment of Davidic Israel. The reality was: Israel was constantly at war, killing nations of people including their women, children, and livestock. God told David he could not build the temple because of all the blood on his hands. And there was a lot of blood! It doesn’t stop there. It was acceptable for kings to have concubines. Prostitutes were part of society and are even in the lineage of Jesus. So “sexual immorality” was not a clear-cut and defined issue as it is today.

In many ways, these realities draw those who aren’t familiar with the Bible to the story. It is extremely frustrating to think that Christians are not ready to put down the felt board from their Sunday school days and actually accept the reality of what happened in the Bible. I don’t believe the story of David could be told without the blatant reality of the day. Granted, I do think it could have been portrayed much better, but in the end, real stories reach lost people.

Of Kings and Prophets never promised to be a family show to watch while drinking hot chocolate on the couch. It promised to be a provocative, edgy telling of a story that belongs on screen. Unfortunately the world – both Christian and non-Christian – wasn’t ready for the Bible to be honestly portrayed.

If you are reading this and have never thought about how the Bible is a book of real stories – of people just like you and me who were impacted by God – can I encourage you to take a closer look at what actually happened? I have found hope, wisdom, inspiration, and guidance through reading these epic stories that all lead to what Jesus came to do on earth. If you want to find out more, click on the link below.

Three things about faith

David Webster

-

March 23, 2016

0

Going into the week of Easter, I was thinking about what defines “faith” for me. Many people struggle with the word faith. Some write it off as a classification of all religion. Some use it as a verb to describe the hope they are holding on to. But I believe faith can only be defined by a few core fundamentals. If you choose to believe these three things, your whole life changes. And when that happens, I believe that faith is present in your life.

There is a God

There is no other place to begin. The thing is, if you believe that God exists, you have to change the way you see life. All of a sudden there is someone greater than yourself and everything you could ever achieve. All of a sudden your opinions, frustrations and thinking need to fall under the truth of God. All of a sudden, your perspective needs to change. Knowing there is a God will cause you to start wondering what He is like. It will set you on a lifelong journey of discovery that can redefine your life.

God cares about you

Many people are comfortable acknowledging there is a god. But believing he is intentional about each of our individual lives is something that begins to define how we are meant to live. Believing God exists is a safe place to be. But the moment you accept that He wants to have a say in your life is the moment you realise you are not alone. Many people would agree loneliness is a bad thing, but when it comes to the way we live, we can strive to have no one determine what we do, what we say or how we think.

Wisdom does not come from knowledge of self. Wisdom comes from knowing the author of life. If you sincerely believe God cares about you, you will never be alone again. But it will also result in Him showing you what may be harming the fabric of who you are. If God cares so much about you, He will not allow you to stay the same. You are going to have to be willing to change.

God cares about others

Many people want to know what they are supposed to do with their lives. If you look at the self-help section of a bookstore or search online for aptitude tests, you will find that industries have been built on the subject of personal purpose. Trying to classify yourself could direct you towards the reason why you are alive. There is another way, however; one that may seem a little too simplistic but holds the full weight of heaven: God made you to influence the people around you. No matter what you may call yourself – an introvert or extrovert, eccentric or dogmatic, confident or conflicted – God’s plan for this world is you. All of a sudden, your purpose is not the goal. Your purpose becomes your tool to reach the world.

I am not writing about overthrowing world orders, or ‘winning’ people over for your own benefit. I am writing about allowing the truest form of who you are to bless, encourage, challenge and inspire those around you. The truth is if you believe God cares for others, you will definitely have to start caring about them too. It wouldn’t mean selling everything you have and moving to a third world country – unless you know that is what God has called you to do. God can use you where you are right now to improve the lives of those around you.

If you believe in God, believe he cares about you and that he cares just as much about others, your life will be very different. Having a relationship with God for around twelve years now, I can tell you that I still need to return to the basics of my faith almost daily. Living out these beliefs doesn’t always make sense, but it is an adventure I wouldn’t trade for anything. If you have been challenged by these three beliefs, if you want to discover God for yourself – one who cares about you and has made you to bless others – then click on the link below.

Ask.

David Webster

-

March 18, 2016

0

After having a few conversations with friends and leaders, I have come to realise there is one thing that many people really struggle with. I have seen a trend with people who start becoming despondent, or even angry. Sometimes it is a result of pride. Sometimes it is caused by a lack of understanding or even low self-esteem. This simple action can literally be the difference between success and failure.

Simply put, all we need to do is ask.

In a world crammed with information, I have seen young adults especially turn to their phone for answers more than anything else. “Google it” is a very common part of what our lives have become. But because we have become so reliant on the finite answers of the general consensus online, we have shied away from the questions that take a bit longer to answer.

The thing is, some answers are more than just a few written words. Sometimes it requires us to understand the nuances of the environment and the experiences of lifetimes long before our own. Sometimes the answer lies in another question that would challenge you more than you would be comfortable with. Sometimes it lies in the silent expression of the one you ask.

People perish because of a lack of knowledge. And just because we live in the information age does not mean we don’t need to ask for help. Expecting people to recognise what you need help with is a really narrow way to live. The fact is, no matter how amazing the people around you are, no one is more invested in who you are than yourself. So ask. Ask for wisdom on how to deal with your finances. Ask why things are the way they are in your family. Ask for help.

There are so many people who are walking past with invaluable experience and advice. It may require some humility. It may mean you need to be responsible with the answers you receive. But I can tell you from experience that it is those answers that change your life. If you don’t know how to ask, let me help you walk it out:

Honestly assess your life. I can guarantee you will need help in at least one area.
Identify someone you respect in that specific area.
Ask them. Whether it is an email, a nerve wracking conversation or scheduling a meeting, if you are respectful and open you will receive the answer you need.

Sometimes the answer you receive may not be what you are looking for. It may be the opposite of what you were hoping for. But if you are asking the right people, the answer you receive will definitely be what you need to hear.

Ultimately, when it comes to the deeper questions of life, the best place to question freely and find many answers is in a relationship with God. If you want to find wisdom on where you are at and who you are, I would encourage you to start by clicking the link below.

When all is well

David Webster

-

March 15, 2016

0

Have you ever found yourself on the other side of a really tough season? You may have experienced a family crisis, an emotional breakdown, financial struggles or health problems. Sometimes life does culminate in a whole lot of stressful situations that really challenge your beliefs. I hope that you have found yourself stronger in your character and your faith. Sometimes it takes a while, but hard times have one up side – they tend to grow your strength and your willpower.

But once you have come through that tough time – where you were desperately surviving on God, the encouragement of others, and whatever was directly in your grasp – what do you do then?

I have recently come out of a time where I had no money or job, my mom had been battling cancer, and I was really depressed due to some identity issues that came from abuse. Every day I woke up early before anyone else in the house and would just cry out to God. Every day he came through somehow. I had revelations of who God is and he gave me promises that I had no choice but to live on. In the Bible Jesus says, “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God”. You don’t realise how true that is until you live it. But what happens when things turn out good? How do you stay engaged in your faith and not just grow complacent?

You see, comfort is a dangerous thing. After experiencing discomfort for a long time, I could very much justify that I deserve comfort now. I deserve to sit back and take some time for myself. I deserve to languish in my newfound freedom. But the moment you seek comfort only, you lose focus on your purpose. I believe life has direction and we are blessed to be a blessing. In many ways, this was clearer to me when I was destitute than it is now. I know for a fact that who I was a year ago would not be happy with me today if I just sat back and didn’t keep on pressing into what I am called to do.

If all we seek is comfort, then the suffering we endured had no purpose. Who I have become because of my hard times is worth more than any amount of money or carefree living. The only reason I can live in the goodness of today is because I had to go through those hard times. So my faith, my endurance, my appreciation of God and others, and my focus on what God wants me to do are all non-negotiables in my time of plenty. I have seen so many people forget God during the good times and then desperately claw their way to him when things get tough.

So this may just be a pep talk to myself, or an encouraging thought for those who are at the same point of life. If you are busy fighting the struggle, I hope you are encouraged by the fact that I have now got three jobs, my mother is cancer-free, and I have been able to help others work through issues of rejection and abuse because of my story. The fact is that in both the good and bad times, we need God. I believe everything we have does come from him. And I don’t need new struggles to remind me of it. Don’t forget him when times are good. Push in deeper – God has a purpose for every single person on the planet. He knows what he is doing, it is up to us to get with the program and then stick with the program.

If you feel like you have lost your way, or need hope for your situation – the best thing you can do is turn to God. If you want to find out more about how he can help you, please click on the link below.

Overworked? Have a work-cation!

David Webster

-

March 11, 2016

0

I don’t know if you have ever have felt like I did a few weeks ago. It has been a crazy beginning to the year, with so many different undercurrents of frustration, excitement, challenge, commitment and disappointment. I found myself meeting up with a whole lot of legendary people, working hard on my writing, seeing ministry go crazy and also financially becoming more responsible. On all fronts, there is no doubt in my mind that I am moving forward and doing well. But the problem is that I was not aware of the pace I was living at – and almost ran myself into the ground.

I needed a holiday. But at the moment I cannot afford to take even a day off. Have you ever felt stuck in life – where you can’t do what you believe you need to? Well, I had no ability to take off, but decided I was going to have my own vacation, while working and volunteering and doing all the things I needed to do. It required a bit of creativity and a whole lot of trial and error, but here are a few little elements that helped me have my own “work-cation”.

1. Set a definite time period

Every holiday has a clear beginning, middle and end. So whether it is one week or three (I don’t suggest you do more), make sure you know when you are starting your “staycation” and when you end it. This is then a time in which you will allow yourself to say no to things that may arise last minute. It is a time where you might give yourself some grace when it comes to the rigidity of your responsibilities. It is a period in which you allow yourself to do things different and are prepared to take responsibility if your life looked a little different.

2. Change your sleep patterns

If I think of holidays, my first thought is immediately sleep! It is a key part of rest and should not be ignored. So for the set period of time, just change your sleeping schedule. If you’re a night owl, go to bed early and wake up early. If you normally go to bed late, swap it around. Obviously there will be some trial and error, but you will discover a few hours of the day you are not used to. All of a sudden there is new space in your daily routine. For me, I started going to bed earlier so that I could wake up and enjoy the crisp, quiet hours of the morning. In many ways, I felt like I had been on holiday for a few hours before driving in to work.

3. Plan your fun

Vacations normally hold intentional moments of fun. So whether it is going for a walk with someone you care about, going to watch a movie in the cinema, hanging out with different people, or cooking some special meals, there are many ways that you can bring the same kind of celebration into your normal day-to-day hustle. Remember it is only for a set amount of time, so don’t allow it to creep into a lifestyle of craziness that negates your ability to carry responsibility. Don’t start pulling out of the responsibilities you already have, but work around them.

4. Change your perspective

This is a big one. The thing about a vacation is a change of scenery. Obviously, if you have to work, that’s not going to happen. But you can readjust your perspective for a few weeks – give yourself some freedom in your workplace to be a bit more free. I did things like walking into meetings where I thought like the customer and then like my boss. I teach every day and I freed up the lessons by turning the tables onto my students and getting them to teach me about what they have learnt. Even basic things like what you wear could help change things up. I brought a change of clothes to work, so that when I left I felt like I was a different person. It might sound off-the-wall, but it helped!

Now I am in no way denying that you and I both need a proper vacation and I am believing that I will be able to have a significant one soon. We weren’t made to just work. Rest is very important. But until that fateful bliss hits you, I hope this encourages you to keep going and helps you relieve a little stress.

A large element of rest is a connection with someone bigger than yourself and your situation. Spending time with God is where I find strength to do life every day. If you would like to find out more about it, click the link below.

Why would God want to use me?

David Webster

-

March 8, 2016

0

The concept of having an active relationship with the actual author of everything that has to do with my life is one that is hard for me to get over. To be honest, I almost freak out a little bit knowing that there is a God who is not only cares about me, but intentionally wants to work with me to change the world.

Now you may think that of the incidences where things convene fortuitously in life as fate. “Coincidence” may very well have resulted in the best possible outcomes in your life, but I believe there is a good God who is purposefully working in your life and in mine – working on our stories so that it can reach others and make a difference.

If this is the case, then you might come up with the question: “Why would God want to use me?”

Biblically, God created us with the intention of spending time with us. He never wanted to just be the “Power in the Sky”. He wanted us to do life with Him. But we opted out of that situation and decided it was more important to be independent. When you choose to let God back into your life, you are basically resetting the order of how you live and think. All of a sudden pleasing God needs to be higher up on the priority list than pleasing yourself or impressing anyone else.

Once you understand that God needs to come first, however, you also need to learn what really pleases Him. I spent a big part of my relationship with God trying to pretend I was what I thought he wanted me to be. I thought I had to be innocent and timid. I thought that humility meant never accepting encouragement. I thought God wanted someone who had everything together.

But the truth is that God knows everything about our lives long before we decide to accept him into our lives. He wants us as we are – all messy and strange and embarrassing. There is no use in trying to hide things from Him.

The moment I stopped trying to play “the good Christian” with God, I really got to know Him and who I really am as well. Not only that, but God also could start getting his hands dirty in all of my chaos and start truly healing the messed up parts of my life.

This world is broken. You don’t need to look far to find people that are hurting and desperate for hope. It could be an accurate description of your life right now. Many people use suffering as a reason for not believing in God. If God is really real, then why does he allow all this suffering? But the truth is, most suffering is a result of someone else’s wrongs. If the people inflicting the suffering on others truly knew God, then the suffering would not take place. John Newton – the writer of Amazing Grace – is a good example. He was a slave trader who saw hundreds die on his ships, but when he encountered God, he changed his whole life and began fighting for the abolition of the slave trade.

Even in natural disasters, we may argue that God would not allow such things to affect people. Even though I can’t explain why such things happen, I do know what God’s response is. His response is you and me. You may think it a bit crazy, but God wants to use us to change the world and help people. Whether it’s accepting someone who has problems with rejection or raising money for the victims of an earthquake, His plan to reach this world is inclusive. There is nothing more fulfilling than working with God to reach others.

So why does God want to use you? So that you can truly know what it means to be alive. Even though He could show up any minute and tell everyone to believe in Him, He wants you to have the thrill of making a difference in the lives of those you live with.

If you want to find out more about how much God loves you, believes in you and intentionally wants to use you, click on the link below.

Overlooked? Here’s how to be seen

David Webster

-

March 4, 2016

0

You may have clicked on this link expecting a step-by-step guide to being recognised and impressing people. You may be in a place where you feel like you have been overlooked and want recognition. You may have struggled with acceptance your whole life and would really appreciate it if you knew just one person saw you.

All I can say is: I can relate. Growing up, that was my greatest inner issue. As a child I dealt with a few more factors than most. I was blessed enough to have amazing, crazy, faith-filled parents who were honest and extremely intuitive. I was exposed to a whole lot of amazing opportunities – by the age of twelve I had lived with the local people of China, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Canada, the UK and even toured Eastern Europe. I saw the world, but more importantly, I got to know the people. So coming home was always hard. Coming home as a young child and going back to school, I was thrown back into a group of friends that were all familiar with their view of the world, totally oblivious to how vastly different other people live and think. No one understood my difference, which meant that I was very excluded socially, even though my approach to life was so inclusive.

The thing is, not being seen is fundamentally not a fault of your own. It is other peoples’ inability to recognise who you are. Small mindsets and selfish lifestyles result in people missing the most amazing opportunities – one of which is to get to know you. If you can genuinely shift your thinking from “not being noticed” to “they are missing out”, then you can live healthy and enjoy life without anyone else’s permission.

Growing up, I also had an amazingly strong mother who woke up every day deciding to take on her disability and give me the best childhood she could. My mom is legally blind, which meant that as the eldest child, I took on the role to help and think of others before myself. Even though it was not my place, I took on the responsibility of looking after my mom when Dad was not around. So anything I struggled with would be secondary, until it all became too much and I would freak out emotionally. That would either be through random outbursts of frustration, levels of depression or even rage. All of that stemmed from people not understanding what we were living with.

When your life requires a higher level of intentionality; when you know you’re called to something big and are committed to the sacrifices even when no one is watching; when there is no pat on the back for the private victories you have won, there may be a level of frustration. All of us want to be seen. All of us want to be encouraged. All of us want to know that we are okay. But I have finally found out how this works. The only way we can truly be seen is related directly to how much you are willing to see others.

First, see God. Looking to God – who he is, what he says and what he does – you will realise that you are so much more than seen. You are celebrated and treasured. You may not think you deserve it. Through the shame and condemnation of addiction, I spent a whole lot of my life not wanting to be seen. But shame and condemnation are not from God. He has dealt with your sin and got it out of the way so that we can see Him and His love can change us.

Once you have seen God, you can also begin to see others. I have had three key people in my life who went out of their way to let me know that they see me – where I am at and what my journey is. When I knew God knew all I was going through and was encouraged by some people who I respected deeply, I was able to see others. I could identify and encourage people like me. The moment other people realised that I “saw” them and that ultimately God did too, I also found a whole new level of fulfilment and confidence.

If you are searching to be seen, I want to encourage you to search for God. The moment you see Him, you will realise that he has been watching with intent your whole life. Click below to find out more.

All.

David Webster

-

March 1, 2016

0

In a time where there are heightened levels of emotion around injustice in our continent, I’m finding that people are pulling more and more away from each other.

Recognising difference is important. But the only way that we can truly construct a better future is if we work together.

So in a time when there is a distinct emphasis on the difference of people, I think it would be great to take some time and just focus on what we have in common. If we keep these elements in mind and hold them as non-negotiables during this time, I believe there is no limit to the change we can accomplish in this glorious, beautiful land called Africa.

All of us have a story

When you look at someone who different to you, do you see them or their situation? As much as they may have better opportunities or more of a conviction about change, are you willing to hear their story? Are you willing to be open to how they have to deal with life. Are you willing to take the time to understand them? There is a cliched statement that ‘you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time’. As much as you can rage against a general group of people, the only way unity can be accomplished is by focussing on the individual. It may seem like more effort. It may require you to question things about yourself in the process. But it is vital to use this as a foundation for sustainable progress. Many of the injustices we are facing as a people have resulted from a lack of willingness to understand.

All of us want a better future

Unity commands a blessing – and everyone wants their nation to be blessed. No matter what may be dominating your thought life right now – fear, anger, shock or confusion – I know that deep down, you are looking for a better life for you and your children. I am not writing about the “ideals” that other first-world states promote. I am referring to the inherent desire for improvement, both personally and corporately. Our definition of a “better future” may need some adjustment, but everyone has that desire.

All of us are flawed and need forgiveness

When emotions run high, it is hard not to react instead of respond. Africa’s history is an amalgamation of injustice, misunderstanding and horrendous error. Her wounds are deep and, generation after generation, they seem to reopen and bleed out even more. Geographically, we are the centre of the world. In terms of natural resources, we are known as the Breadbasket of the World. In terms of culture, we are the trial-ground for a new kind of society – which the world is watching very closely. In every aspect, I believe Africa has all the potential to rise. So what is holding us back? Or more importantly, what can help us get there? I believe forgiveness is going to be the answer every time. Forgiveness is probably the hardest thing you can choose to do. From the beginning of time, we have seen how people have opted to fight before forgiving. In fact, there has never been a true example of forgiveness before Jesus came to earth.

All of us need God

God knows your story – all of it: the good, the bad, your wrongs and how you have wronged others. Unity is God’s idea. Forgiveness is also God’s idea. Man left to his (or her) own devices would never choose either. If I look at my own life – my family, my social context, the key moments of joy and pain – but keep God and eternity out of the picture, I would definitely want to stick with people and situations I know and work hard to protect my own way of life. I would also want vengeance and revenge if anyone else attacked my immediate prosperity or wellbeing. Without God, that is all I have – what I see everyday and who I care about.

But with God, I have a promise of a better future and an eternal life. When things are tough, I can be sure that I am going to come out stronger. When things are unfair, I can rely on a God who is the only true Judge. When I don’t know what to do, He hears my cry and can give me wisdom. Without God, we are all hopeless opponents. And I believe that without God, in the long run no one will win. When the focus turns to Jesus, who has already beaten sin, death, injustice and chaos, then everyone wins.

Biblically, there are multiple examples of how the nation of Israel without God fell into disarray. Famine, drought, exile, war, oppression, and slavery all came as a result of not honouring God. But the moment the people turned to Him, he provided a way out and saved them. As much as that was a nation, God did the same for each of us individually. If you want to know God and his plans for you to thrive; if you are desperate for change in your personal life, both internally and externally – click on the link below.

Dear Single Guy

David Webster

-

February 24, 2016

7

Dear Single Guy,

Just so you know, I am writing as if I could go back in time and tell myself what I have learnt now. I know that your life looks very different to mine. I know that the relationship your father had with your mother, the role that men have played in your life and the way you have interacted with friends, is probably different to me. As long as you are aware that the way you have experienced life has shaped your view on what your relationship will be one day with your “chosen one”.

There are a few things I would like to tell you. A few things that I think are key to living well as a single guy. I hope you are honest enough to take it on board and to think a little deeper than the superficial opinions of society.

Firstly, you are enough by yourself. It may seem like something a girl would need to hear, but I know that you can sometimes feel like you need to prove something. A girl can make you feel validated. Her beauty may in some way make you feel better about your own insecurities. Your friends may respect you a bit more for having “game”, but if you want something that lasts, you need to work on who you are without another person in your life that you have to care for.

Deal with your issues now. You will never have as much free time or resource to spend solely on yourself as you do while you are single. If you truly value yourself, you will probably envision having a partner in life that is going to challenge and grow you. She may be miles ahead in her faith, maturity and generosity. Build towards the awesome partner you are going to have one day. Don’t settle for anything less than scary when it comes to the woman you want to do life with. A true partner for life will be someone who pushes you further and makes you stronger. And they can do all that even before you have met them! The world needs strong men, so that the world can have strong couples who raise strong families to build a strong future. But it all lies in how you do life now. So invest in yourself. Buy yourself books and go on courses (it will help you budget for that wonderful woman one day). Take time out to learn more about God and yourself. Face your issues head on and get around guys who can give you wisdom.

You may not feel like it, but you are in control of your relationship status. The first opportunity for a relationship is not the only one you will get. You are allowed to like girls, but friends, even try out a few one-on-one coffees without having to make a decision. Don’t let a girl dictate a relationship with you just because you are intimidated by her awesomeness. Make sure you know what you want and stay focused. You need to lead the relationship, so starting it off on the back foot won’t help.

Guard your heart. I know what it’s like to see a life with someone before you’re even on their radar. Dating doesn’t mean you are bound together for life. Getting physical too soon, thinking about marriage within the first stages of getting to know each other and all that goes with it is dangerous when it comes to your soul. If a relationship doesn’t work out, I believe you can leave wiser and still strong – despite some initial disappointment. The further you go in your mind, the harder it will be to keep the pressure off when it comes to who you will date.

Get around men that you admire and ask them how they are doing life. The more wisdom you can get now, the better it will be for you and your lady for the future. Open your life up and let people you respect challenge you in all areas. It may be cleanliness. It may be a pornography addiction. In that safe environment, everything is fair game. If you are willing to listen, and to be encouraged and challenged while you are single, you will be a much better partner to live with and grow with when you have that special someone.

It takes balls to do single life well. Be brave enough to live the best life you can on all fronts. Believe me – girls will find emotional security and responsible living way more attractive than abs and an epic car (though let’s be honest, it would be awesome to have those as well!).

Get your life right now and your relationship will be blessed. If you don’t know where to start, I can tell you that getting right with God and getting involved in a local church – where you will find wisdom – is a really great start. If you are brave enough to take this first step, click on the link below.

David Webster

Connect with us