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Donna Burke

There’s nothing wrong with starting over

Donna Burke
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There’s nothing wrong with starting over

We all make mistakes. Some of them behind closed doors where no one can see. Others are out in the open with many curious eyes watching our every move. At this weeks Grammy awards singer Adele not only experienced the high of getting something very right but also the upset of getting something really wrong.

Highs and lows

Having been nominated for five awards this year, Sunday night was really Adele’s evening as she took home all five trophies, including Album of the Year for her 2016 release ‘25’. On top of that she performed her record of the year winner ‘Hello’ and a special tribute to George Michael who passed away late last year. It was this second performance where things didn’t quite go to plan. Following on from last years less than perfect performance of her song ‘All I ask’ Adele took to the stage to sing George’s hit ‘Fastlove’. It seemed as though history may be repeated when at around a minute into the song it was clear that something again wasn’t right. Apologising for making a mess of the song (and for her language), this time around Adele asked for a restart.

Getting a ‘do-over’

While most of us will never fluff the lines or melody while singing to a global audience, there are likely moments when you have wished you could hold your hand up, say you’re sorry and ask for a ‘do-over’. It’s a rare person who manages to make all the right choices the first time around and being brave enough to admit that you’ve missed the mark and need a second attempt shows tremendous character.

Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

There are times when it’s right to muddle through a mistake and make the best of a bad situation. Sometimes you find yourself in circumstances where you have no control and the best you can do is keep your head down and keep moving. When it comes to your life, your choices and the direction you are moving when you find yourself at the point when something isn’t going quite right rather than just hold on and hope it gets better, maybe that’s the time you need to be bold, apply the brakes, apologise if necessary and start again. But this time better.

Try again

The hardest thing about starting again is letting go of your pride and admitting you got something wrong. Being strong enough to correct your mistakes isn’t anything to be ashamed of though, especially if you make the necessary adjustment so that you don’t stuff up a second time.

The bible tells us that God isn’t just a God who believes in second chances, but that He offers another chance to anyone who admits they’ve made a mistake and asks to try again. The key is to admit we’ve messed up, apologise for getting it wrong and starting again but this time with God’s help and not just in our own strength.

If you would like to know more about getting a chance to start again, please leave a comment or click on the link below.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Donna Burke
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Are you afraid of the dark?

Being afraid of the dark is a common childhood condition. As early as two years old children can develop a fear of being in the darkness that can seemingly surface out of the blue. Experts tell us that this is because somewhere between the ages of two and six a child’s imagination grows in leaps and bounds. While this is on the whole a good thing, it can also mean that once the lights go out a child can fill the void with all number of creations, which makes them anxious. Being afraid of the dark is more closely associated with children, however, fear of darkness or nyctophobiam is actually quite common in adults too.

Time to grow up

A survey by Go Glow found that 40% of adults admitted to being anxious in the dark and a further one in 10 owned up to being too afraid to go to the toilet at night because of the darkness. The reality is that the dark on its own is completely harmless, after all darkness is just the absence of light. However, being unable to see, and feeling vulnerable as a consequence, is a very valid and real cause for anxiety.

Things that go bump in the night

While this fear may seem irrational and be frustrating on some levels it isn’t completely surprising. We are wired to fear things that can cause us harm as a method of self-preservation. If something can hurt us, we are afraid of it so that we avoid whatever it is, rather than risking the danger. While the dark itself can’t hurt or damage us, it can conceal things that would be a threat or pose a risk.

Let there be light

Light a candle instead of cursing the darkness. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s true that fear plays a part in warning us of danger and keeping us alive, but living is a state of fear is never a good thing. The bible says that God, our Creator, didn’t intend for us to leave in fear but to know love, boldness and to have a sound of mind. We may be fearful of the unknown that is veiled in the darkness but Jesus said that He is light and came to dispel the dark.

If you would like to know more, please click the link below.

Stay well, avoid germs

Donna Burke
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Stay well, avoid germs

Germs. We know they’re nasty little things that can make us sick and should be avoided if at all possible. The problem is that these horrid little microorganisms are just that, little and consequently impossible to see which makes avoiding them a little tricky. Knowing where germs are most commonly found can help you protect yourself and your family from being exposed to something that can make you unwell.

The kitchen

We tell children that they must wash their hands after using the bathroom, and they should but the kitchen is likely to be home to more germs than your bathroom. Horrible thought isn’t it. Toilets tend to be cleaned on a regular basis with bleach to remove germs but kitchens, especially sinks aren’t always cleaned as thoroughly. Food preparation and standing water all create a welcoming environment for germs to breed in.

Door handles

Think about it, what are the most touched items in your home, office or just about anywhere? Door handles. Whether entering or exiting a room, chances are that you have to open a door and the number of people touching a handle on a daily basis is consequently high. It’s a good idea to wipe down any handles you have at home and wash your hands often to avoid transferring germs. Use the same approach with light switches, electricity switches and any other high traffic items.

Phones and remotes

Telephones can be really gross. They tend to be in your hand most of the time unless we put them down on a surface where they can easily pick up germs. Added to that cell phones are taken just about everywhere that we go so there’s no saying what they can pick up outside of your home and transfer into your living space with relative ease. Remotes may not leave the living room but very often are passed from person to person, dropped on the floor, slip down the side of the chair and easily get very grubby indeed. This also extends to computer keyboards and laptops.

Handbags

Sad to say but your handbag (or man bag should you have one) could potentially make you sick. If you take your bag out with you and place it under the table when you’re out or on the floor of your car what happens when you pick it up and put it on your table or counter at home? All the germs that collected on the bottom of your bag have just been transferred to whatever surface you’ve put in it on. Ever put your bag down on your bed? Well the same applies. Germs survive better on soft surfaces than they do on hard ones, so any fabric, paper or soft material is a perfect mode of transport for those little bugs.

What to do

The best defence against germs is the one your mother taught you, wash your hands. Do it often and do it well. Warm water, soap (anti-bacterial if you can) and at least 20 seconds of washing, and don’t forget to dry your hands on a clean towel.  Beyond that hand sanitizer and anti-bacterial wipes will help you avoid the germs that will make you unwell, especially during the winter season when everyone seems to be sneezing, sniffing and coughing.

Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean that it can’t harm you but taking a little more care and being aware of the possible problem areas will go a long way to helping you protect yourself and your family.

How much do we really know?

Donna Burke
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How much do we really know?

Have you ever thought you’ve known something only to find out that what you thought you knew isn’t actually true? If you can relate to this, then it seems you’re not alone. There are many common misconceptions that have somehow become fact and gospel truth to many. According to the London tourist attraction, Ripley’s Believe it or not! There are many ‘facts’ that are accepted but vast numbers of the population that are simply not true or, at best, inaccurate. The Daily Mail listed 50 misconceptions uncovered by Ripley’s. Here are just a few ‘facts’ that you may need to rethink:

You can see the Great Wall of China from space.

Many people believe that the Great Wall is the one man-made structure visible from space and seeing that most of us will never travel far enough to verify this fact, it’s not surprising it’s just taken as read. The truth is, according to Apollo astronauts, you can’t see the Great Wall or any other structure from the moon.

Vitamin C is a good cold treatment

If you’ve ever had a cold you’ve probably been advised to take vitamin C to help you recover. Unfortunately according to experts if you already have a cold then dosing up on Vitamin C is unlikely to do much good. Vitamin C is believed to build up the immune system to stop you getting a cold in the first place, so take it before you get sick!

Carrots will help you see in the dark

Sadly this one isn’t true either. Carrots are however good sources of Vitamin A (also known as retinol) which your body needs in order for you to see in low-light situations, like at night. If you are deficient in Vitamin A you’ll struggle to see when it’s darker. Eating carrots however will correct this but only back to normal levels… you won’t become superhuman.

One human year is equal to seven dog years

Apparently this is true for some breeds but not all of them. The ratio of human years to dog years is dependent on the size and the breed of the dog.

You should wait an hour after eating before you swim

You aren’t any more likely to drown straight after a meal than you would be if you waited an hour. Having said that you may be uncomfortable doing any exercise after a large meal and therefore swimming may require more effort than normal.

The forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was an apple

The bible does say that Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil but it doesn’t say what type of fruit that was.

Many of the things that people believe to be true do have an element of truth to them. It seems that facts were accurate to a point and then through embellishment, exaggeration or miscommunication, they morphed into something incorrect, just like a game of Chinese whispers or Broken telephone. One person said something and passed it onto another but before it had been passed to the next person the original message had been changed.

Go to the source

There are many misconceptions held about God, Jesus and the bible. Often people believe something because it’s what they’ve been told as a child. Sometimes the information gets blurred or communicated in a way that doesn’t really convey the intent or message that was originally intended. Allowing other people’s experience or perception of what a relationship with God is like is unlikely to give you a true picture. The bible tells us to ‘Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see’ what God is like, not just rely on second-hand information but return to the source and experience it for ourselves.

If you would like to know more please click the link below or leave a comment.

Gifts you should give to your children

Donna Burke
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Gifts you should give to your children

The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. – Denis Waitley

Children can be really expensive (I know, I have four at home). Beyond the basics of food, shelter and clothing there are so many other things that children need that can put a strain on your family’s finances. Then there is the innate desire inside all parents to surprise and delight your child with random treats and treasures because…well, just because!

The good news is that some of the most valuable and enduring things that we can give to our children don’t cost much in monetary terms. All they require is a bit of thought, time and application but their value is immeasurable. Here are … gifts you can (and should) give to your children.

Teach them to be generous

The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. – Proverbs 11:24

A generous person is a joy to be around. They have a ‘glass half full’ mentality and don’t focus on lack. Teaching your children to be generous reminds them that life is about sharing and giving away by choice happily instead of holding onto things and being fearful of losing what they have.

Teach them to be kind

Kindness can sometimes be seen as a soft and gentle character trait but there is a power that comes with being kind to others. Showing others respect, being gracious to those who maybe haven’t deserved it and treating everyone in the same polite manner is really a superpower.

Teach them to apologise

Being able to admit when you’ve made a mistake and make right with people who you’ve hurt or offended isn’t easy but it can save you years of heartache and strife! In turn it also teaches your child that relationships are important and good ones are worth more than your own pride.

Teach them to be patience

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Everything truly worthwhile takes time. In an instantaneous society being able to wait for something may seem to be pointless but the ability to be patient and not always seek instant gratification is a skill that will stand any child in good stead. Getting an education, building lasting and fruitful relationships, creating the kind of career most people can only dream of, all of these things require a level of patience. There is a time for everything and it’s important that you don’t walk away and miss the moment.

Teach them to disagree well

You’re never going to get along with everyone all the time. Disagreements happen and opinions will often differ. Being able to disagree respectfully and discuss opposing views without name calling or yelling is a skill that most adults could brush up on. A child who learns that you don’t always have to agree with someone in order to be their friend or respect them is going to have a much easier job navigating relationships with people from different backgrounds and walks of life when they get older.

Don’t forget about the future

Donna Burke
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Don’t forget about the future

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.

This is a great quote. It’s been attributed to everyone from an ancient turtle in Kung Fu Panda to America’s former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. Whoever said it first really seemed to capture the importance of living in the moment.

Being fully present in what is happening right now is something of a worldwide trend. Almost everywhere you look someone is telling you to let go of the past, not worry about the future and just embrace today. On the whole that’s great advice. You can’t change your past, no matter how much you’d like to and tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us, so making the most of the day you are living is more than just a good idea. But what happens if tomorrow does happen (as I hope for all of us it that it does) and you’re not ready for it?

President Benjamin Franklin once said:

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail

Let’s be honest no one wants to be a failure and not achieve anything in life. We all want to succeed and make the most of all the time we are given, not just the one day that we happen to be living right now. To do that, however, you must have a plan and that means thinking about more than just the moment, but also about tomorrow and the day after that and so on.

Be intentional

It sounds terribly romantic and calm but meandering through life without any thought about your ideal outcomes or goals is rarely going to take you where you want to be. Setting a course for your future days shouldn’t take all your focus away from the present but it will help you to map a course towards the reality that you would like your future present days to look like. If you just continue through life without any direction or purpose your ‘now’ moments in the future may not be moments that you want to be present in.

Don’t worry

The bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will have enough worries of its own. Very often when we say don’t focus on the future what we really mean is don’t worry about it, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t plan for it. There is a huge difference between worrying about something that you can’t control or that may never happen and planning towards a preferred future.

Look don’t stare

It’s one thing to look forward and plot a course for the future it’s another thing to place all your attention on the days to come and dwell there. Look forward and plan. Make decisions that will impact favourably on your tomorrows but don’t get so caught up in where you want to go that you fail to appreciate where you are. Set aside time to plan for the future but when that’s done, remember to return to today and enjoy your now experience. As with many things, balance is important.

And after tomorrow

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into this city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit,”  whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? It is just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”

The bible reminds us that as much as we plan, our future is not promised. Tomorrow may never come for some of us and to a large extent we have no control over that, but that doesn’t mean that we have no say at all. Scripture tells us that God has placed a sense of eternity in the heart of every man and woman. We know that there is something beyond this life. Even if we don’t wake to see tomorrow we can plan for it because our existence doesn’t end when we take our last breath.

When Jesus was crucified there was a man on a cross next to him who asked to be remembered when Jesus entered heaven. Jesus told the man “Don’t worry. Today you will be with me in paradise”. The same privilege is extended to you and I. If we make the choice today to acknowledge our need of Jesus, we not only find fulfilment in this life but also a promise of eternity with Him in the next.

Why we should celebrate

Donna Burke
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Why we should celebrate

Who doesn’t like a celebration? It’s a chance to be joyful and mark a special occasion. Parties are fun but you don’t have to be loud and wild to celebrate. The dictionary defines celebrating as:

Acknowledging that something important has happened.

It could be a birth, a death, a union or a change in position or circumstance. A celebration could be to remember something that has happened or honour the memory of something or someone significant.

Don’t forget

We are often reminded to live in the present and to focus on the now. While this is valuable to help us not miss out on the things around us, it’s still important to remember what has gone before. When we neglect to celebrate the past, both the good and the bad, it becomes easier for us to forget how much we have learnt already on our journey through life. Taking time out of our usual routine to remember things that have already happened shows us how far we have come and helps us appreciate the time that we have left.

Showing appreciation

Of course celebrations aren’t just about our selves. Marking special occasions are also a chance to appreciate others and be grateful for all that you have (the good and the bad). Being appreciative for good things is easy but celebrating the tough times or the sad losses that you have experienced will remind you of the strength you showed to endure and help you appreciate the good things you have all the more.

Looking for a reason?

You may be struggling to find a reason to celebrate anything in your life.  There are times when it would seem better to forget the past and just to move on towards the future but the fact that you are still here today is enough reason to be joyful. Be grateful for the breath in your lungs and the opportunity to thank God for another day.

 

What do you really need in life?

Donna Burke
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What do you really need in life?

In a global population of somewhere around seven and a half billion people if you were to ask what we really need in order to have a good life, I’m sure you would get many varying answers.   Despite this, we all want to live happy and fulfilling lives but the question remains, what do we need in order to achieve this end?

Back to basics

In the 1950’s American Psychologist Abraham Maslow identified five levels of basic human need. According to his theory, humans will only be able to progress to other areas of satisfaction if they first fulfil lower level needs. The most basic and first level of need in his hierarchy was ‘physical needs’; breathing, food, water and sleep. Once an individual has met these needs they can then turn their attention to the need for safety, love, esteem and self-actualisation.

Fill in the gaps

It may not be surprising then to discover that vast numbers of the population live with unmet desires and feelings of lack when they look at the things they want out of life. According to many studies there is a whole generation (the Millennials) who are decidedly dissatisfied with their lot in life and feel unfulfilled when it comes to their daily existence.   People are looking for ways to fill the gaps and satisfy longings in order to live the kind of life they truly desire.

All you need is…

The truth is that there are no quick fixes to finding and living a perfect or even consistently ‘good’ life. No matter what you have or don’t have, there are ups and downs, good days and bad. The externals of life will always ebb and flow like the tide. Just because you have the job you’ve always wanted, the relationship you’ve dreamed of or the bank balance you’ve desired doesn’t mean you have the happiness that you crave. The condition of your heart will determine the quality of your life.

Being satisfied

In the bible the Apostle Paul wrote the following in a letter. He said:

Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

Paul found his contentment not in things, position or circumstances his feeling of satisfaction with life came from his relationship with God. He learnt that by making peace with God through a relationship with Jesus he was able to be consistently satisfied in life regardless of how much he had or didn’t have.

If you would like to find out more about how you can also live satisfied, regardless of your situation in life, please click the link below or leave a comment.

Making good choices

Donna Burke
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Making good choices

Life is full of choices. Some are big and some are seemingly less significant. Every single day, each and every one of us, makes some kind of choice. Usually more than one. The wrong decision can cause huge problems and the right one can make your life all that you dream it will be. It’s true, not all the choices you make today will have life altering consequences on their own, but each decision contributes a part to the picture of what your life will ultimately look like.

Get it right

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to not have a choice? Having the ability to decide is a gift. We have been created with a free will, to pick and choose as we see fit. As wonderful as this may be it does have its downside. Fear over whether you are choosing correctly, when faced with a difficult decision, is something that most of us have felt at one time or another.   It’s easy to get caught up in the anxiety but there are ways to approach your choices that will help you pick the right road.

Which way?

Here are a few things you can consider when making choices about your life.

  • Be clear about your options

It’s almost impossible to make a good judgement on a decision if you’re not 100% clear about what you are deciding about. Look at why you need to make a choice. Understand all the options available to you and how much power you have in the ultimate outcome. Going into the decision making process without knowing all the details will make it very difficult to choose the best option.

  • Know what’s important

We all have values and personal core beliefs. Use the things that are most important to you to guide your selection process. A good decision will never be completely successful if you have to compromise what you believe in. Overlooking your core values will most likely cause you pain later on.

  • Look at both sides

Making a list of the pros and the cons surrounding your choice is a good way to see both sides. Write down a list so you can see it in black and white. Sometimes we don’t fully take on board the challenges and opportunities we are faced with until we see them physically.

  • Seek the right input

There is nothing worse when you have a choice to make than getting too many opinions.   However, asking everyone you know for their input during your decision making process will most likely make your job harder. Having said that good advice and wise direction can be invaluable. Seek out people who you know not only have your best interests at heart, but who have evidence of good choices in their own lives.

  • Be decisive

Don’t procrastinate and linger over a decision. If you are able to make a choice, make it, stick to it and don’t waver. Going back over the same ground again and again will only make you unstable and hold you back.

Choose life

Life is all about the choices we make.   For better or worse our lives are the product of our daily decisions. The good news is that if you find yourself in a place where you don’t want to be, you have the power to make a choice that will affect change. The bible talks about the fact that we were given free will by God.  As a consequence we can choose to go our own way, walk our own path and leave God completely out of the picture of our lives but by doing this we are walking away from the ability to be all that we were created to be.  If we choose to include God and make the decision to follow His plan for us, the bible tell us that we are choosing life over death.  Of all the options we have before us, there is no better choice in life than to have a relationship with your Creator.

If you would like to know more about making better choices in your life, please click on the link below.

Helping your child cope with change

Donna Burke
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Helping your child cope with change

Dealing with a change in circumstances can be hard for anyone but it can be all the more challenging when you’re just a child. As grown ups we understand that change is a normal and expected part of life. Children on the other hand thrive on consistency and a change in routine can seriously upset the apple cart.

A helping hand

It’s a commonly held belief that the ability to cope with change is something that we either are born with or aren’t. In reality, while personality types can play a role, the coping mechanisms needed to navigate change are things that can be taught and encouraged by our parents. It’s up to mom and dad to lead by example and offer assurance when needed.

Here are a few things you can do that will help your child to face a season of change in the best possible way:

  • Be upfront – Giving prior warning about a change in routine or situation isn’t always possible. The unexpected can take everyone by surprise but if you are able to give advance warning about changes it gives your child more time to make the necessary adjustments. The birth of a new baby, moving house and changing schools are a few things that can be prepared for.
  • Be compassionate – As parents it is easy to get frustrated when dealing with change and a child who is fearful about the transitions taking place. While some children adapt quickly, others take more time and there can be many tears and lots of drama along the way. Remember to be kind and understanding during the rough patch. Allowing your frustration to get the better of you won’t help the process and will only make things worse.
  • Be consistent – When situations are changing try to keep as much of the regular routine intact as possible. It can be tempting to make lots of changes all at once but this can be overwhelming. Remind your child that just because somethings are different that doesn’t mean that everything has changed. The familiar will help your child to feel secure and safe.
  • Be available – Regardless of what changes are happening in your child’s life they need to feel that you are still there for them. This means making time to talk through concerns, acknowledging that change can be scary at times and helping them to see the good in the situation. In difficult seasons sometimes the best thing you can do is be available for a hug and wipe away any tears. In the eyes of your child you are right up there with Superman (or Supergirl) and if you’re around everything is going to be okay.

A place of shelter

Feeling insecure and uncertain in times of changes is normal whatever your age and having a parent beside you to help you face the challenge head on is sometimes all you need to get you through. On many occasions the bible talks about the fact that God is a shelter from the storm, a place of refuge and stability. When we are facing changing times or uncertain periods we can find a place of strength in a relationship with Him that will give us the ability to cope with the changes coming our way.

If you are facing challenges and change in your life, or if you would like to more about the strength that comes from knowing God, please click the link below.

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