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Donna Burke

Nearly is not enough

Donna Burke
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Nearly is not enough

Have you ever seen those photo’s of people who have attempted to recreate something they’ve seen on Pinterest and haven’t quite got it right? If you haven’t, just google ‘pinterest fails’ and check out the images. You can see where the general intention was correct but the final destination was way off the mark.

A shot at goal

It would be wonderful if our intentions always equalled the desired outcome? The reality is that great intentions, while laudable, don’t guarantee the prize if you end up missing the target. Imagine a football match where points were awarded just for kicking the ball towards the general direction of the goal. Kind of stupid really! You only score when you manage to get the ball in the net. There are no prizes for almost. As they say, a miss is as good as a mile.   Sometimes the smallest miss calculation or distraction can take you completely off course.

Do you know where you’re going?

To get to your desired destination, whether it is a physical place or a situation in life you need to have a plan, plot your co-ordinates and know exactly where you are headed. An approximation of your end goal could cause more problems along the way because even if you’re only fractionally off course, each step will take you further away from the true path that you should be following.

The journey to heaven is no different. The co-ordinates to locate the place where God is are found in knowing Jesus as Saviour. Knowing who Jesus is, is all good and well but that alone won’t lead you to God. Believing that Jesus is real is almost there but not quite. The bible tells us that we’ve all missed the mark when it comes to being good enough for God and are in need of a Saviour, Jesus to make a way for us. Without having a personal relationship with Jesus, you will find that you get to the end of the journey and have missed your destination and the eternal prize.

If you would like to know more about knowing Jesus and being sure that you’re on the right path please click the link below.

 

What could God possibly want with me?

Donna Burke
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What could God possibly want with me?

There are many schools of thought about God. Some people believe He exists. Others say He’s something we’ve made up to help us get through life. Then there are those who really aren’t sure what they think or believe. Questions about who God is have been around since forever but let’s just suppose that God is real and is who He says He is. Let’s just say that He is the creator of all things, all-powerful, all-knowing and all-present. What on earth could God want you or I for?

To do something through us

God is more than capable on His own to achieve His ends. The bible tells of occasions when He parted oceans, sent fire from heaven and employed donkeys to get things done, but more often than not He uses people. It’s been asked many times where is God when people are dying without food? When people are being killed in wars? Where is God when children are abused and neglected? The bible tells us that those who believe in Jesus are his hands and his feet in the world. Normal people are the means God uses to reach out to those who are hurting, in need or in danger. God wants to be included in your life so that through you He can make this world the place it was always intended to be.

To do something for us

God cares about our lives. He is well aware that there are times when we are hurting or in need. He knows exactly how hard it can be to live in a world that is less than perfect. The bible tells us that God’s desire for us is to have hope. His plan for your life is to give you a future. He wants to be the place we take all our worries, our fears and for us to leave them there. God wants to heal us physically, emotionally and to see us living a life that is full and lavish.

To do something in us

Let’s be honest, nobody is perfect. Popular culture tells us to embrace our shortcomings and flaws and accept our weaknesses. God has a different plan. Instead of leaving us to accept our issues and live with the consequences they cause us God wants to give us a fresh start. The bible talks about the fact that God wants to make us new and separate us from the things in our past that often trip us up and cause us to be less than we were intended to be.

God is interested in us. He wants to be a part of our lives but the only way this can happen is through the person of Jesus. When we acknowledge that Jesus is God’s son and accept him as our way to be made right with God, then we make it possible for God to do the things He wants to in our lives.

If you would like to know more about how you can know Jesus, please click the link below.

What does it take to be a man?

Donna Burke
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What does it take to be a man?

I’ve never really thought about what it takes to be a man. Being a woman, it really wasn’t something I ever considered. Then I had a son. Now I feel the responsibility of raising him in such a way that the precious little boy I tuck into bed each night will one day become, hopefully, not just ‘a man’ but a great man.

Boys will be boys

There seem to be many different ideas floating around as to how men should or do act. Should guys be macho and participate in shows of strength? Does being a man mean engaging in ‘locker room chat’ or following the ‘boys will be boys’ mantra? Should they be in touch with their feelings and easily show emotion? I think if these are the standards by which we judge manhood then we are maybe missing it.  The bible tells us that man judges by the outward appearance but God judges by the condition of the heart.

What if?

In 1909 author Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem for his son Jack. In it he listed character traits and behaviour that he felt epitomised the behaviour of a man.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Greatness

The making of a great man doesn’t lie in his likes or dislikes. It’s not found in how he dresses or presents himself. It’s a matter of character. Greatness is displayed in how he treats people. Is he respectful? Not just to those in authority but to everyone regardless of their station or standing. Does he know how to be generous? Giving of himself, his time and his resources to those in need of it. Is he considerate? Thinking of other people and not only being consumed with him self. Does he stand up for what is right and hold firm to what he believes in? It takes courage to make a stand when others oppose you but it speaks of strength and integrity.

The world needs more great men, especially those who will honour God and live in such a way that they will leave this planet a better place than they found it.

 

 

Preparing your child for their first day of school

Donna Burke
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Preparing your child for their first day of school

Beginning something new can always feel a little daunting and a child’s first day at school is no exception. Facing the unknown as an adult is one thing but when you’re a little person, embarking on a school career for the first time can be a huge undertaking. Fortunately there are things that the grown-ups can do that will help ease the nerves and make the transition to school life a little smoother.

Talk

Discuss what is going to happen at school, how your child is feeling and the positive aspects of entering this new season. Don’t be tempted to exaggerate the good things though, if the expectations are too high (and remain unmet), you might have a problem sending your child to school in the following days and weeks.

Practice

Chances are a new school routine will include new activities or skills. Practice doing up shoes, taking off jackets even opening drinks bottles or food boxes. If your child feels confident that they can do what is asked of them by themselves they are less likely to worry about the newness of the surroundings.

Sleep

You may be surprised how tiring a day at school can be for a little person. You may find that bedtime needs to be brought forward or that your usually cheery child is more grumpy than usual as bedtime approaches. Remember to be patient with these changes and adjust as necessary. Sleep is vital if your child is going to be there best and enjoy their day.

Cuddle

Tears are a normal reaction to a change in routine. Don’t be surprised if day one goes like a dream and the tears only surface in the following days. Take the time to reassure your child that it’s okay to be afraid, that it will all be fine and most importantly that you will be there to collect them at the end of the day. Leaving a tearful child is never easy but nine times out of ten within five minutes of you leaving they’ll be back to their happy self.

Calm

Adding another person who needs to be dressed and out the door ready to face a full day each morning can upset even the best organised apple-cart. Do what is needed to make your morning routine as calm and easy as possible. The worst way to start any day, especially when you’re helping your child to adjust to being in a new school, is with chaos, frustration and panic!

Pray

Starting school can often be the first time a child is separated from their parents for the whole day. It can be lonely or scary but you can pray together and remind your child that Jesus will be with them and they won’t be alone.

Starting school is a big deal, not only for children but also for parents. Children pick up so quickly on the emotions of their parents so even if you’re feeling nervous on their behalf, do your best to be positive and upbeat. It’s also good to bear in mind that while some children settle quickly into this new environment others can take a little longer. Be supportive, ask questions and if in doubt talk to the teacher.

 

Making sense of the nonsense – Goodbye 2016

Donna Burke
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Making sense of the nonsense – Goodbye 2016

Have you ever listened to a baby who is learning to speak? It’s incredibly cute. Most of the noises they make aren’t real words but sounds that they think are words. Yet every once in a while they may manage to say something that is actually a word. My middle daughter used to do this. She would say whole ‘sentences’ of complete nonsense and somewhere in the flow of sounds would be two or three actual words that we could understand. It was almost as though she felt like she had a lot to say but didn’t know enough words so filled in the spaces with whatever sound she could make.

Stop! I want to get off

Sometimes life is a little like baby babbling. At times it can feel like a continual stream of random and incoherent nonsense. No rhyme or reason. No discernible purpose. A lot of people seem to feel that 2016 has been a tough and, on occasions, strange year and will be happy to see the end of it. On one hand it’s true, 2016 has been a roller coaster. There is the ongoing death and destruction in Aleppo. The terror war being waged by Isis against anyone who thinks or believes differently than they do. It’s been hard to miss the numerous political battles around the global that have divided nations based on political ideology, specifically in the UK, across Europe and in the United States. Don’t forget that bees have been put on the endangered species list and a number of iconic figures passed away. The list goes on, however, if you only see the ‘babble’ you’re missing the point.

Not all doom and gloom

The key to making sense of all the mess is to look for the ‘real words’. It’s easy to get confused in the tide of all the bad stuff that is happening and to therefore lose sight of hope but in the midst of chaos you need to find the beauty. Some wonderful things happened in 2016 that you might have missed. A Tumblr user called Helthehatter has created a list of good things from the past year including:

  • The child mortality rate is down everywhere and continues to drop
  • The number of tigers, pandas and manatees are increasing around the world
  • Pakistan made steps towards outlawing honour killings
  • Progress has been made in Alzheimer prevention
  • The hole in the Ozone is repairing itself
  • Over 800 Boko Harem hostages were rescued by the Nigerian Army
  • Babies were born (I became an aunty again)
  • People got married (I got a new sister-in-law)
  • You are still here!

The bible tells us that there are things in the world that aren’t right. God knows better than you or I about the chaos and confusion and seemingly overwhelming nonsense that happens each and every day He still, however reminds us to not lose hope. He encourages us to fix our eyes upon Him.

Room for everyone at Christmas

Donna Burke
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Room for everyone at Christmas

For most families Christmas is a time to get together. This usually means everyone congregating in one home and celebrating the festive season as one, big family. It can be a wonderful part of the holiday fun but it can be tricky to find room for everyone. Sometimes you have to be creative, just like the family in this Christmas advert for a UK food chain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz_xt-tEUhQ

It’s not just people who you need to make room for at Christmas. This time of year is known as the ‘Silly season’ and with good cause. Carol services, end of year celebrations, Christmas parties, school concerts, Christmas shopping, family meals, and friendly get-togethers. The list of possible social engagements can be overwhelming. The trouble is that all the festivities are legitimate and important in the their own way. Sometimes however,  you really have to pick and choose what to prioritise and what gets left to one side.

Nothing’s changed

You would have thought that in the last 2000 years things would have moved on but really the current Christmas situation bears a remarkable resemblance to the original circumstances surrounding the birth of Jesus. All those years ago in Bethlehem we know that there was no room for Mary, Joseph and the soon to be born Jesus. All the visitors to the town were legitimately there to take part in the Roman census, but their presence meant there wasn’t room to spare for the family. It wasn’t an intentional plot to rob the Son of God of a place to be, it just kind of happened. Today it’s still possible for things and events that have every right to our attention, to leave little room for the presence of Jesus in our current Christmas season. Just as the baby was given a place in the outhouse away from public view, today we might say a quick mumbled prayer at dinner or remember Jesus as we sing Away in a Manger at a carol service. The rest of our time is spent on other things.

Welcomed with open arms

The birth of Jesus changed the lives of those who witnessed it. Yet there were those in Bethlehem who were in the right place but just looking the wrong way. This Christmas you have a chance to meet with the real reason behind the celebrations. All it takes is choosing to welcome Jesus, rather than closing the door because there’s still no room for Him.

If you would like to know more about making space for Jesus please click on the link below.

What should your kids be snacking on?

Donna Burke
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What should your kids be snacking on?

School holidays are just around the corner and if your children are anything like mine one of the biggest challenges you will face is the need for a never-ending supply of snacks.

I’m hungry

I have four kids under the age of eight and they’re growing fast! They all have healthy appetites and some days it seems that we no sooner finish a meal then one (or all of them) are looking for something to nibble on. The question is how much should a healthy child be eating and if a snack is needed what are the best options?

Choose wisely

It’s well documented that childhood obesity is on the rise around the world. In light of this fact, dietary experts suggest that smaller children should be limited to two snacks a day. Older kids only need one snack in addition to their three normal meals unless they’re experiencing a growth spurt, in which case two snacks should cover the resulting munchies. It’s not enough though just to limit the amount of food given between meals, it has to be the right kind of food. Here are a few options for healthy, nutritious snack foods so you aren’t at a loss the next time you hear the words, ‘I’m hungry’!

  • Apple or banana pieces (you can always add a little peanut butter for a special treat)
  • Actually any kind of fruit, fresh or dried, is a good option for snackable food. Mango, pineapple, grapes or orange.
  • Raw veggies like carrot, bell peppers, cucumber fingers or celery. Combine these with a dip made from beans or chickpeas or mayonnaise.
  • Peanuts, cashews and almonds are all good nut options. If you want to add a little sweetness try mixing in dried fruit, like raisins.
  • Whole grain crackers, plain rice cakes or whole grain toast.
  • Hard boiled eggs
  • Cheese slices
  • A tub of yoghurt. Try getting plain yoghurt and adding honey for sweetness
  • Cold meat like ham slices or left over chicken if you have.
  • Banana bread is a special treat in our house for snacking or banana muffins.

Raise up a child

The formative years in a child’s life are when we are able to help create the habits that they will take into adulthood. Being able to teach your child that it’s ok to be hungry and to wait until mealtime is a good lesson to learn. Similarly to be in control of the need to snack and make good choices when it comes to choosing what they put into their body is a vital tool. Modelling good eating habits yourself will also go a long way to encouraging good health in your children.

Don’t worry! We all have a few cracks

Donna Burke
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Don’t worry! We all have a few cracks

“But I don’t want to go among mad people” said Alice.

“Oh you can’t help that,” said the cat.

“We’re all made here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” asked Alice.

“You must be,” said the cat, “or you wouldn’t have come.”

Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll)

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all feel completely together all of the time. No insecurities. No doubts. No fears. No cracks, bumps or bruises. In short, perfect!

Our world loves wholeness. Smooth lines, perfect finishes, balance. We like to spend hours looking at pictures of how wonderful other people’s lives are and spend just as long attempting to make our own life look just as good if not better. Being broken isn’t acceptable or desirable. It’s just broken.

No body is perfect

The reality is that each one of us are, in one way or another, a little broken. Emotionally, physically it doesn’t really matter we all have a few cracks.

There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in. – Leonard Cohen

Beautifully broken

The bible tells us that it’s in our weakness that God is able to show his greatest strengths. In those areas where we are damaged and torn that’s where He is able to do something beautiful and restorative. In Japanese art when a pot is damaged or cracked the artist will use a technique called Kintsukuroi. The broken vessel is repaired using gold to fill the cracks, making it more beautiful after it has been broken than when it was first made.

When we learn to let God into our flaws, to reach past the outward shell and touch the damaged parts he is able to restore and fill the gaps with his love. The bible tells us that God is able to heal the brokenhearted and bandages our wounds. We just have to let him.

There is strength (and more) in numbers

Donna Burke
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There is strength (and more) in numbers

There is a lot to be said for enjoying your own company. It’s great to be comfortable on your own and have the confidence to take on life solo, but there is also a great deal to be found in being part of a community. The old saying is that there is strength in numbers but it goes so much deeper than that.

I love to read. It’s my ultimate escape and if I’m ever missing you’ll probably find me in a comfy spot with my latest read. As much as I love books, I have never been part of a book club, until last month. An Instagram friend of mine formed a reading group and I decided to join the fun. We all read the same book over the course of the month and each week would discuss it on the bookclub’s blog page. It was so much fun! The book was one that I have read before but reading it along side others and sharing insights and thoughts about what we had read added a new dimension to the experience.

There are many things in life that we can happily do alone, reading is just one of them, but joining with others who are on the same journey can elevate and enhance whatever it is that you are doing. One of the most obvious aspects of life that can, and should be experienced as part of a community is your faith. The bible reminds us that as believers in Jesus we shouldn’t neglect meeting together to share our faith journey. Coming together in a community called the church is an important part of being a follower of Christ. Seeking out a group or community to be a part of can add the following to your life:

Encouragement

Being part of a group of like-minded people can be both inspiring and motivating. Whatever your goal is, having people around you who are seeking similar ends helps you to remain focused and excited about pursuing your purpose.   It’s like a piece of coal, if it’s in the fire together with other pieces of coal it will continue to burn hot, if you take it out it will cool down faster.

Knowledge

It’s amazing how much you can learn from those around you.   If you are part of a community you can not only learn from others successes but also their mistakes. Sharing your knowledge or insight with others can help you to learn and discover more than you would on your own.

Support

The bible points out the fact that two are better than one because if they fall, the other is there to help them back up. Approaching life in the midst of a community means that when things go wrong or you’re having a hard time there are others around who can pick you up, dust you off and cheer you on as you try again. It may be in the form of a shoulder to cry on, practical help with a project or just someone telling you to keep believing. Whatever it is you are more likely to find support in a group than if you strike out on your own.

Accountability

There are times in everyone’s life when you’re tempted to cut corners or take the easy way out. A community who cares for you and wants the best for you will encourage you to take the high road and do things the ‘right’ way. It’s not about having someone look over your shoulder to tell you when you’re doing things wrong, it’s about encouraging you to be the best version of you possible.

 

Attempting things on your own has its place but sometimes doing it together is the best route. Believing in God and having a relationship with Jesus is wonderful, sadly people believe that they can make it on their own when it comes to their faith in God but end up a lesser version of what they are supposed to be because they lack the encouragement and support of having others around them. Finding other Christians who will walk the journey with you is an important part of experiencing all that God has for you.

How do you find ‘The One’?

Donna Burke
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How do you find ‘The One’?

What should you be looking for when you’re seeking out a spouse? What are the things that make for a successful and happy marriage? Anyone who has ever considered getting married has most probably asked these questions or ones similar at some stage. What are the answers? I’m not sure anyone can provide a completely cast-iron, fool-proof method for finding ‘The One’ but there are things that contribute to and aid a relationship.

I recently watched a television show called ‘Married at first sight’ (I’ve included spoilers so be warned) and yes it really means what it says. Hundreds of brave (and possibly slightly crazy) individuals, all wanting to find a spouse placed their love-lives in the hands of relationship experts in the hope that science could find them the perfect partner. The hitch being that once a match was found they would happily walk down the aisle and wed a complete stranger.

According to the experts a combination of DNA, personality traits and personal preferences can be used to find compatible partners who should, in theory have the right ingredients between them to make a marriage work. Sadly, in the season that has just aired, of the four couples who married, only one stayed together beyond a few of months. It would seem it takes more than the factors analysed to make a successful marriage.

So what should you look for when seeking out a marriage partner? Here are a few things that are worth bearing in mind.

A desire to commit

It may sound ridiculously obvious but being committed to your relationship is really important. Married life isn’t all sunshine and roses. There will be tough seasons and chances are at times you may not even like each other all that much. In those moments you need to know that both of you are committed to making your marriage work and aren’t going to give up and head for the door. Finding ‘The One’ starts with finding someone who wants to be married and stay married.

You like each other

You need to want to spend time together. It’s important that you enjoy each others company and want to be in the same place. After we got married my husband put it this way,

‘Marriage is like dating, only she (that’s me!) never leaves.’

If you don’t actually like who the other person is, that isn’t going to change and it’s going to make living in the same space and sharing a life really difficult.

Common goals and interests

If one of you wants a family and the other doesn’t then you haven’t found the right person for you. Whatever your life goals are, if your other half doesn’t share them or support them, you’re going to have a really hard time. Enjoying similar hobbies and activities isn’t a complete deal breaker but being able to do things together and find enjoyment in a shared activity is much better than always going separate ways. Sharing views on life, faith and family all are  desirable when choosing a partner

Mutual attraction

Being married is so much bigger than sex, but attraction is still important in a relationship. Sex is kind of like the icing on the cake. You can’t just have icing without cake and vice versa. Find someone who sparks you.  Someone who makes you feel alive and excited about life!

Being able to communicate

Being able to share your feelings and both feel like you’re being understood is really important in any relationship. In a marriage where you should be working as a team, it’s vital that you both feel heard and are sharing your thoughts with each other. Keeping too much to yourself or feeling like you’re being held at arm’s length is never a good sign.

Complete trust

Marriage should feel like a safe space. You should both be able to put complete trust in each other and know that you are in this together.

The bible tells us that when two people get married they leave their families and become one with each other.  That is why marriage isn’t something to take lightly or jump into without being sure.  The truth is that there is no such things as ‘The One’! What you are looking for is someone who you can commit to. If you’re already married then the person who you promised forever to is ‘The One’ for you.  If you’re still looking for that person to share your life with, remember that you don’t marry the end product.  Marriage is a process of growing together and developing as individuals as your relationship takes shape.  Above all it’s important to submit your life

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