Donna Burke, Author at 1Africa

Why travelling is good for you

Lifestyle

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September 22, 2016

It wasn’t very many years ago that travelling abroad was a dream for many people. However times have changed and exploring the world beyond our borders has become easier. While journeying overseas might stretch your budgeting skills, with a little planning and dedication, jetting off to foreign parts is an achievable goal. The great thing about travelling is that whether the purpose of your trip is a holiday, work related or even for a lengthier period, travel has many benefits.

Learning to roll with the punches

Travelling has become much easier over the years but challenging circumstances still happen from time to time. Navigating missed flights, lost bags or even being lost yourself requires an ability to stay calm and at times creative thinking.

Getting a different point of view

Visiting somewhere new can mean exposure to a different culture or an unfamiliar language. It’s one thing to know that people do things differently in other parts of the world but experiencing these differences firsthand can show you a whole new perspective.

There’s no place like home

It’s easy to become complacent about the things we have. Travelling to new places can help you to appreciate the freedom and people you enjoy on a daily basis at home. Being without these familiar comforts makes you grateful for the things you take for granted.

F.U.N

In the grown-up world it can be easy to forget to have fun. Regardless of your purpose for travelling, the experience should be fun. Going somewhere new, meeting different people and experiencing a different place, should be an adventure.

It’s a wonderful world

While we may take for granted the beauty of our everyday surroundings, journeying to a different place can show us just how incredible planet Earth really is. The people and the scenery. The sheer scale of the world and its population is something truly remarkable. The diversity and beauty that is to be found around the globe reminds us that God is a master Creator.

Learning to do as you’re told

Donna Burke

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September 15, 2016

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It doesn’t matter how much mom and dad love their kids, any parent will testify that sometimes bedtime just can’t come soon enough. Yes it may sound like we’re trying to get rid of our children, but the reality is that there are days when you’ve given your all, are completely spent and just need a bit of peace and calm. Having said that bedtime is not always a straightforward affair.

The art of the deal

I’m sure my household is not unique when it comes to brilliant negotiating skills that emerge when the words ‘it’s time for bed’ are uttered. My children become master negotiators as soon as bed is mentioned. It doesn’t matter how tired they are there seems to be a built in aversion to going down without at least trying to get “five more minutes”. Add to that the sudden need for a drink of water, a fifth trip to the loo, one more story, another lullaby, and of course someone is bound to have forgotten to pray for their sore toe, and bedtime can become a mammoth undertaking.

Mama knows best

Bedtime in our house is sacred. It happens the same time every night, we follow the same routine and everyone knows what to expect. We bend the rules on occasion for fun movie nights or special events but generally we stick to what we know works. My kids may look like they could keep going for hours and have energy in buckets, but I know from experience that sleep is needed and without it those four little people are going to be much worse off. They may feel otherwise and want nothing more than to put bedtime off until later but it’s my job to make sure they get what they need so that they can function.

I don’t want to

It’s funny how, even as adults, we sometimes kick against things that will only do us good. It could be the advice about losing weight for our health or resisting the urge to buy something we just don’t have the money for. Just like children we would rather choose the “fun” option instead of the alternative, which will benefit us so much more. The Bible is full of things that God tells us to do because they will be beneficial to us and yet rather than listening to the wisdom of his words we want “five more minutes” to continue doing things our own way.

Finding out what you’re made of

Lifestyle

Donna Burke

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September 13, 2016

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Have you ever noticed how two individuals can face very similar situations, and respond very differently? Whether it’s losing their job, facing sickness, or dealing with the breakdown of a relationship, one may stay focused, positive and determined to come out on top. The other might appear defeated, withdraw from society, and seem somehow lost. We all face challenges. Some trials are bigger than others, but how you navigate seasons of stress and hardship says less about the magnitude of problems you are wrestling with, and more about the condition of your heart.

Tea and sympathy

It’s been attributed to many different sources but whoever said it spoke the truth when they said:

“A woman is like a teabag. If you want to know how strong she is, put her in hot water.”

It’s never fun going through a rough patch. In fact it’s most certainly the opposite of fun but the reward of coming through a season of struggle and finding out what you’re really made of is very often worth the pain. My husband holds to the wisdom that before you marry someone, you should always see how that person responds to stress. When trouble comes, we tend to revert to survival mode, stripping away all the niceties and frills, and become truer versions of who we are at our core.

Change for the better

We often hear the encouragement: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

It’s a nice thought but it’s not actually true. Troubled times may not actually make you stronger, they may certainly change you but not always for the better. There is a story that says a young woman was having a hard time and her father showed her an egg, some coffee and a potato and dropped each one into a pot of boiling water. The egg came out hard, the potato came out soft and the coffee changed that water around it into coffee. Each item faced the same conditions, but each one reacted differently.

How’s your heart?

The Bible tells us that all that we are flows from our heart. God’s Word tells us to guard our hearts. He encourages us to dwell on good things and not allow the core of who we are to become bitter or despondent. We have been given the ability to choose how we respond to circumstance, and whether we are crushed or strengthened by difficulties lies largely in the way we decide to face each hurdle.

When prayer doesn’t work

Donna Burke

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September 8, 2016

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If you believe in any kind of higher power, or maybe even if you don’t, chances are that at some point in your life you have prayed. Reaching out and asking for help or guidance from God at a moment when you just don’t know what else to do.

There are times when we pray and receive the answer we are hoping for, but sometimes even the most heartfelt and passionate prayers seem to go unheard and unanswered. So why is it that sometimes prayer just doesn’t seem to work?

Is anybody listening?

The Bible says a lot about prayer. Prayer is the way that we communicate with God. If you can’t communicate with someone it’s rather hard to have any kind of relationship with that person. Prayer is more than just requesting thing on a wish list. Prayer is about expressing gratitude, declaring love and giving praise to God for who He is and what He’s done for us.

Having said that, the Bible does tell us that we can bring our requests and needs before God and that He hears us, and answers our prayers in accordance with His plans and purposes for our lives. It would be wonderful if that meant that everything we ask God for just happens, but it doesn’t.

In the book of Isaiah we are told:

“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.”

God is telling us that He approaches situations differently than we do. There are times when we can’t see the whole picture and the things we are praying for and hoping for possibly don’t fit in with God’s plan or maybe the timing is wrong.

It’s all about the “who”

It’s very hard facing a situation where you have prayed and nothing has changed. It’s easy to lose faith and become angry with God, especially when it feels like all hope is gone and he’s not listening or doesn’t care. At those times it’s important to remember that he hears and more than anything, he cares for you. You may not understand what He’s doing or like the circumstances you are facing but His promise to you is that all things will work together for good in the lives of those who love Him.

You may be facing difficulties or sickness. Even if God doesn’t take the problems away and you still have to walk through the hard times. Rather go through the storms with him by your side than face them alone.

While the Apostle Paul was in prison he wrote a letter in which he said that he could face the suffering he was going through because…

“…I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return.”

Paul had placed his life in God’s hands; not because God would fix all his problems and keep him from suffering but because he knew that he could trust in God’s goodness.

You can’t have it all

Donna Burke

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September 6, 2016

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It’s a funny time to be alive. Information is everywhere. We, as a collective population, have access to knowledge on a vast array of topics and the ability to learn more about things the previous generations never dreamt existed. Social media has exposed us to aspects of the lives of others that we would never have otherwise been party to. We are able to see how “the other half” live and as a result “Keeping up with the Joneses” has moved to a completely different orbit.

With all that we have been exposed to and all that we have seen there seems to have emerged this utopian thought that with effort, time, and determination you can have it all. The truth is, as nice at that reality may sound, you can’t actually have it all.

Something’s gotta give

As a fairly positive, “can-do” kind of person, acknowledging that no matter how hard you graft you will never have everything, feels more than a little defeatist – but let’s look at it rationally. How many people do you know that have achieved first rate success in their working careers; have functioning and flourishing family and social relationships; have time for fun and adventurous hobbies, while still being able to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle; get enough sleep and devote time to their spiritual well-being? While many would love to have the Instagram-perfect existence and boast having all these areas of their life running on full steam, no one can live up to the ideal of having everything all at the same time. Sooner or later something is going to have to give.

Seeing double

The Bible talks about the fact that no man can serve two masters. The problem with having too many things going on at once is that your focus is split. You may have a vision of a perfect family life where you have strong and healthy relationships. A life where you are able to be at every meal and every significant family event. At the same time, you may also wish to be the CEO of a large company, making important decisions, and working long hours to see your company become number one – but in reality these two visions are pulling in opposite directions and where you have two visions, you will only find division and confusion.

Counting the cost

As with most things there is always a cost involved. You may choose to climb the corporate ladder and give your all to building the perfect career, but sooner or later the demand of that path will impact on other areas of your life. Similarly, if you put your relationships first, determining to be there for your nearest and dearest, the time you devote to family and friends will have consequences for other aspects of your day to day. Neither path is wrong in and of itself but being great in one area means making that part of who you are a priority. Sometimes we are better served by devoting our energy to being great at a few things rather than trying to do too much and ending up being merely mediocre at everything.

Choose your course

Many of us live in fear of missing out on all there is to experience, achieve, or own in this life. We spend so much of our time chasing after everything we never truly embrace anything fully. It’s frustrating and causes more stress than fulfilment. We need to decide what is truly important to us, pick a path, and be willing to let go of all the distractions that will cloud our focus and maybe even steal the joy that pursuing something worthwhile brings.

Do you wobble?

The New Testament speaks about the fact that when we divide our loyalty between the things that the world promises and fulfilment that can be found in a relationship with God, we become unstable. We are also told that if we seek to know God before anything else, he will add to our lives all things that we need. So while having it all may not be possible, it is possible to be more fulfilled and as a result happier by choosing to just chase the things that really matter to you.

Angry with your kids? Watch that temper

Donna Burke

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September 1, 2016

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Ask any parent whether they love their child and hopefully the answer would be a resounding “Yes”. Ask the same person if they ever get angry with their child and you’ll probably find the response will be the same. Being angry doesn’t make you a bad parent (thankfully), but how you choose to behave in those moments is very important for your relationship with your child and their future development.

Temperature is rising

It’s a very unique person who can keep their temper under control 100% of the time. Boiling over and allowing your anger to get the better of you happens to us all from time to time. For some reason children tend to know exactly how to push their parents’ buttons and seem to always choose the perfect time to cause maximum frustration. As parents we need to learn how best to express our anger in a way that won’t do damage or cause confusion. Although it can be hard to stop such a powerful emotion in the heat of the moment, here are a few things to bear in mind next time you begin to lose control.

You are the grown up

This may be completely obvious when you’re rational but, when you’re in a rage it can be easy to forget that you are the parent and need to act like one. Your child looks to you for everything. You are their safe place, their hero, their comfort and their provision. If your anger causes you to yell and rant at your child you are shaking their whole world.

Shouting doesn’t help

While it may release some of your frustration to shout when you’re angry, yelling won’t help the situation. Children who are exposed to shouting on a frequent basis become immune to angry outbursts. Instead of making your child sit up and listen, a shouted response may have the opposite result. So you may also find the more you shout, the more out of control your child becomes.

Count to ten

Many parents use timeouts as a form of discipline but when you feel your anger rising taking a step back and giving yourself a chance to regain control can stop any flare-ups before they happen. When you begin to see red, take a deep breath, count to ten and do whatever it takes to stay calm.

Make it a priority

It’s easier to keep your anger in check if you’ve already decided that staying in control is important to you. Make a conscious decision to remain calm, even when you’re frustrated and angry. Controlling your anger will never happen if you’re not intentional about it.

Be the best you

Being angry isn’t wrong but sometimes; the things we do in our anger are far removed from the people and parents we want to be. Being the perfect parent isn’t really possible but the good news is that perfection isn’t what’s required. Being the best you that you can be is all that is needed.

How do you move on from past regrets?

Lifestyle

Donna Burke

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August 30, 2016

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Wouldn’t it be nice if life had an undo button for those moments when you said something you shouldn’t have? How about those moments when you make a decision that you look back on afterwards and wonder what you were thinking? It’s normal to have a few things that you would like to do differently. Most of us have occasions when a different choice would have been better, or when we should have done something and didn’t.

Crying over spilt milk

Regardless of whether your regret is over something insignificant or over something life changing – the fact that it has happened and you are able to regret it means that it can’t be changed. What’s done is done and probably can’t be erased. However, just because it’s happened doesn’t mean that it can’t be fixed or action can’t be taken to turn the consequences of what you’ve done (or haven’t done) around. You don’t need to be haunted by your regrets forever; there are ways to move on from your mistakes and be better in the future.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Everyone makes mistakes. We all say things or do things we shouldn’t. Everyone has a lapse in judgement at one time or another and it’s important to remember that you’re only human.

Failure isn’t fatal

Just because you’ve made a wrong choice or said the wrong thing doesn’t mean the world is going to end. Failing to be perfect or always getting it right doesn’t discount you from ever succeeding again. If you fall, instead of regretting the fall, you need to pick yourself up and try again.

Time to move on

Regrets on their own will never achieve anything other than to tie you to your past. Sadness and remorse over missed opportunities can spur you on to do better in the future but only if you let go and move on to the next chance to get it right.

Take responsibility

Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control but often it’s our own choices that cause us pain. It’s important realise that our actions and decisions have consequences, both good and bad, and that we should take responsibility when things don’t turn out the way we would have liked. It’s empowering to realise that you’re not a victim but have the power to choose and make wiser decisions going forward.

Forgive yourself

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. We should have known better. We should have acted differently. Yes, maybe that’s true – but constantly holding your own mistakes against yourself isn’t going to change the past or help you move beyond those regrets.

It would be nice to go through life without the pain of regretting but it isn’t always possible. The good news is that our mistakes, instead of meaning our destruction, can be used for good. The apostle Paul talks about this in the Bible. He wrote that there is no regret over past mistakes if the sadness caused by our poor choices leads us to turn and repent of the things we’ve done wrong or badly and look instead to God.

If you would like to know more, please click the link below or leave a comment.

Are you really in control?

Lifestyle

Donna Burke

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August 26, 2016

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Everyone struggles from time to time with self-control. The ability to resist devouring that second piece of cake, or keeping your temper in check when everything seems to be working against you.

Sometimes the appropriate response to a situation is directly opposite to what we really want to do. It’s at those times that the strength of our will power is put to the test.

Live and learn

Anyone who has spent any time with young children, will be able to tell you what a lack of self-control looks like. Toddlers tend to be ruled largely by their wants and emotions. Regardless of whether something is good for them or not, if they want it, they want it.

It doesn’t matter if a toy belongs to them or not, if they think it looks like fun it’s as good as theirs. Fortunately for their parents, and everyone else, toddlers can learn to control the impulse to take whatever they want, act on every whim, and eat as much as they please. If little children are capable of developing greater self-control, surely adults are as well.

The heart wants what it wants

The very idea of self-control and will-power suggests that sometimes our “self”, or our heart, will want something that it shouldn’t. Our desires may be for things that aren’t healthy, aren’t helpful, or are even dangerous or illegal. To act on those urges will only ever lead to down a dead-end road.

Jesus, take the wheel

The Bible tells us that we should guard our heart because it determines the course that our life will take. Just like a child who wants too many sweets or to play with something dangerous, our hearts need to be kept from running after things that it shouldn’t. While will-power is a step in the right direction, the Bible tells us that lasting self-control is a product of a relationship with Jesus. If our hearts are set on following God’s plan for our lives it is easier them to make choices and deny desires that will cause pain and destruction in our lives.

If you would like to know more about this topic, please leave a comment or click the link below.

Is your kindness conditional?

Donna Burke

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August 23, 2016

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The world could do with more kindness. I’ve written before that a little kindness goes a long way, and it’s true. It doesn’t take a huge act to be kind – in fact, it’s normally the little and seemingly random gestures that can have the largest impact. Although this is true, kindness isn’t always easy. At times, being kind is the last thing you feel like doing and it helps if your act of kindness somehow benefits you.

Easier said than done

The dictionary definition of kindness is: being friendly, generous, and considerate.

On the face of it being kind doesn’t seem all that hard but in a world that tells us that only the strong survive or that it’s each man for himself, thinking of others isn’t always easy. Making someone else’s needs or feelings a priority is not exactly paramount if your approach to life is that it’s you against the world. It’s much easier being kind to someone who can do something for you or who you know will be kind in return. Let’s face it, being generous or considerate of others can allow someone else to get ahead, possibly at our own expense. But is it right that our kindness comes with conditions?

All is not what it seems

The answer to that question is, no! True kindness is unconditional with no strings attached. When we are kind, we create a feeling of togetherness and trust. If we are only kind because it gets us something or somehow benefits us our kind acts become hollow and manipulative. You can’t build trust with people who have ulterior motives and kindness born out of selfish gain always seems to be found out as being insincere.

It’s easier to be kind to others when you’re confident that your position or role is secure. When you know who you are and what your value is it’s easier to be generous to others because you know it doesn’t take anything away from who and what you are. Insecure people want to guard what they have and are too busy looking out for themselves to be truly generous and considerate of others.

Walk this way

The Bible encourages us to be kind to each other, showing compassion and forgiveness in the same way that Jesus has been kind and compassionate towards us. The kindness that Jesus has shown to us is completely without condition. We don’t have to return the favour to benefit from his kindness or somehow earn the privilege to be worthy of his generosity. Even though we may not deserve it, Jesus is still kind to us and that is the type of kindness He wants us to extend to others.

Things that will stunt your growth

Donna Burke

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August 18, 2016

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You don’t have to be an expert gardener to know what makes things grow. It’s fairly straight forward. If you give a plant water, food, and sunlight it should flourish. Simple! But sometimes you can be doing all the seemingly correct things and still your garden looks anything but healthy.

It’s frustrating and confusing when the effort you’re putting in isn’t yielding the result you expect but following a standard formula doesn’t mean you’re doing it right. Too much water, the wrong food, or even too much or too little sun and your input won’t be beneficial and could be damaging. Good intentions mean very little if you don’t really know what is needed to promote growth.

How does your garden grow?
Much like a garden, our lives need to be tended and nurtured to get the most out of them. We need to be sowing the right seeds, feeding the good things, removing the bad stuff, and making sure all the areas work together to create a wonderful and healthy environment. There are times where we can be putting in major effort to promote good growth in our lives but for some reason the growth we expect never really materialises. It can be hard to pinpoint exactly where the problem lies but here are a few things that might be working against your efforts and keeping you from growing the way you would like:

1. The company you keep
You can tell a lot about someone by the people they spend their time with. Choosing to be around people who are moving in a different direction, have different goals or want to keep you exactly the same as you currently are will limit your growth. Find people who will encourage you, cheer you on, and challenge you to grow and develop. The Bible warns us to choose our company wisely because wicked friends will lead us down the wrong path.

2. The things you ‘feed’ on
What we read, see and hear has the ability to feed our minds and souls. You will never grow and promote health in your life if all you “eat” is gossip and negativity. Instead seek out things that feed your spirit, educate your mind, and provide you with tools that help you become all that God made you to be. The Bible tells us that we shouldn’t try and fit in with the world but that we should allow the Word of God to change and grow us into the people God created us to be.

3. The voices you listen to
What you believe about yourself and what is possible in your life largely depends on who you are listening to. There are many voices that may seek to tell you that you are no good, have no value, and will never be more than you are. If you only listen to those voices, you will never grow beyond your current state. God says that you are a chosen person with a role to play and that you belong to His family. Jesus taught that his children know how to listen to his voice and the Bible tells us that when God speaks we should believe Him and not be swayed or distracted by what others may tell us. If you are struggling to see growth, look at who you are allowing to speak into your life.

In the Bible, Jesus spoke about how to see real growth and health in our lives. He said:

I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing… if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon.

If you would like to know more about this topic or have any questions, please leave a comment or click the link below.

Donna Burke

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