Brett Fish, Author at 1Africa

We don’t want children (and that’s okay!)

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March 14, 2016

We don’t want children (and that’s okay!)

My wife and I love children. We also love being able to give them back to their parents at the end of the day.

And that makes us weird somehow. You know, because of the natural order of things: Girlfriend becomes Fiance becomes Wife becomes Child-Producing Entity… or something like that. Like some giant proverbial game of rock-paper-scissors excepting that nothing seems to beat “Mother”.

It happens the moment you get married. Not a week after, not even a day after. Conduct a little poll among your married friends to find out how many of them on the day of their marriage were asked about children.

WE ARE OKAY TOO

The “When are you going to have children?” question feels, I imagine, to the person asking it, like a good question. But it’s really not. It assumes too much, and for many couples this can actually be quite a hurtful question.

There are people who have been trying to have a child for years without success and some of those might be struggling with infertility and physically not have the ability. There are those who may have recently had a miscarriage and the question to them in particular brings up a lot of pain.

Then there are those who have decided that they don’t particularly want children – not because we hate children, we just don’t particularly want them. And we are considered weird or strange or unnatural. We see it in your expression when we respond and we hear it in your follow-up question of, “Why not?” as if we have just told our carnivorous friends that we have decided to become vegetarian (another thing that’s okay, by the way).

JUST STOPPIT

Perhaps the worst of it all, is the person who has been completely mystified by our decision and is looking at us as if we are carriers of the black plague, and then we see the moment a light switches on in their heads and they smile and with the mustered up effort of a bull in a china shop, respond with, “Just you wait, you’ll change your mind” or “You say that now, but give it a couple of years.” And more.

That may possibly be true for some people. That may have been true for you. But it is unhelpful for us to hear, and actually quite unloving.

A HELPFUL TIP

Given the scenario of those who are wanting to have children but have been unable to and holding it next to ours, if you really have to ask anything about children, possibly the nicest and least offensive question you should consider is: Are children something you are thinking about at all?

Because then we can reply with, “No, actually we’ve decided we don’t want to have children.” To which your response would be, “Ah, I see, please pass the salt.” Or something as affirming.

We don’t want children. And that’s okay. And there are many more like us and we don’t even have a secret handshake or anything. We are normal people who have made a different decision from you. We will however play with your children (some of us) with the utmost of passion and energy and then smile and wave as we hand them back to you and return to our very fulfilled lives.

Improguise Festival: Making It Up On The Spot

Brett Fish

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March 10, 2016

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Improguise Festival: Making It Up On The Spot

Have you ever watched a Shakespearean tragedy involving a dental hygienist set in a tuna canning factory?

How about a full-length hour-long documentary completely made up on the spot?

A locally flavoured South African soap opera where none of the actors have any idea what is going to be happening?

Or how about a complete musical from start to finish where not one song has been practiced even seconds before the show, because none of them have been written yet.

GET YOU TO THE FEST

If you’re in Cape Town and all of the above scenarios seem a little far-fetched, then do I have news for you! In less than a week, Cape Town’s longest running show, Team Improguise, will be returning with their 4th Annual Improguise Festival which includes all the shows I have mentioned above and more.

Born out of the Whose Line Is It Anyway? TheatreSports games type of improv, the last year has seen Improguise stretching their muscles and heading into new and “dangerous” territory. Performing at the Galloway Theatre just outside the Waterfront every Monday, you can now see a different type of show every week.

From the traditional TheatreSports show where the audience provides suggestions and the actors play out a series of short games based on what was given to them; to a complete Western styled drama taking place over an hour, the popular Superscene show sees six directors setting up scenes and the audience decides which one gets voted out and which will ultimately be this week’s Superscene.

CAPE TOWN’S BEST KEPT WORST KEPT SECRET

When you see how much laughter and satisfaction the audience carries away with them each week, it remains mind-boggling how, after more than 21 years in Cape Town there are still “TheatreSports virgins” who have yet to see the show. And with each week being completely different you will never see the same show again, which is more than enough reason to keep coming back.

So if you are still one of the aforementioned “virgins”, next week’s Festival is the perfect time for you to get your feet wet. Grab a group of friends, book your ticket and arrive at the Galloway Theatre in time for the 7.30 start, confident that you will not be forced on stage or expected to embarrass yourself by pretending to be a monkey on a pirate ship mast. The actors will do all of that for you.

Why don’t you leave a comment below as to what your favourite television, movie or theatre style is that you would choose to see a scene played out in…

Are you speaking her language?

Brett Fish

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March 7, 2016

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What is your primary love language?

Years ago I came upon a book by Gary Chapman titled The Five Love Languages with the subtitle: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

It made a lot of sense to me and mostly because of a drawer full of chocolate bars.

But let’s rewind a little…

NICE IDEA, WRONG LANGUAGE

My wife Valerie loves to tell the story of when we were dating and I used to give her chocolates pretty much every time I saw her. Let me disclaim that I am a huge fan of chocolate and so “giving me raisin-free chocolate” is probably a more specific version of one of my primary love languages.

Valerie, on the other hand, is more of a sour sweet type of person. So while I was trying too convey love to her, by giving her something I really loved, it wasn’t something that she really loved and so she ended up with a drawer full of chocolates and a housemate who secretly felt very much loved by me.

It literally was a nice idea, but the wrong language. And by literally, I clearly mean metaphorically.

WHAT’S YOUR LANGUAGE? AND WHAT IS HERS?

Even if I had gotten it a little more right and given her the sour jellytots or worms that she prefers, I still would have been missing the mark.

You see, receiving gifts is one of my primary love languages, but it is not one of Valerie’s.

The five love languages Chapman lists are the following:

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

The thinking behind the love languages is that each of us has one or two on this list that are the primary way that we receive love. So for one person, going for a walk on the beach together as a form of quality time with their person might be the biggest way they feel loved, but for another it might be having their person replace a broken lightbulb for them as an act of service.

One action is not necessarily better than another action, but you could do the same action for two different people and have them feel more loved if it is one of their primary languages.

What is super helpful for me in this is figuring out (which you can do with your person ’cause after all they are more likely to know than you are) what the person you love’s love language is. And for them to be able to know what yours is.

We tend to give to other people what we like to receive (hence the drawer full of chocolate) but once I was able to realise that Valerie would far more prefer a walk in the forest (quality time) or for me to do a load of laundry (acts of service) than any gift I could give her, from then on I would be able to know how to love her more effectively.

I would highly encourage you to get hold of the book because Gary Chapman breaks it down in ways that make a lot of sense in terms of helping you grow in your relationship or marriage. But start with looking at the list of five love languages and maybe try and identify your partner’s and let them guess at yours, and then let each other know how close they were.

That simple act of understanding your person’s love language might revolutionise your relationship forever.

T20 Cricket World Cup: Dare We Hope?

Brett Fish

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March 2, 2016

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Friday, March 18th: South Africa is facing England in a T20 cricket match. Wait a second, didn’t we just do that already?

Same team, different country and the world’s biggest stage as far as T20 cricket is concerned as we are heading right into the T20 Cricket World Cup, where once again South Africa will know that only an overall victory and the holding up of the cup will be enough to prove to the world once and for all that we are not chokers.

But can we (finally) do it? Dare we hope?

ADVANTAGE SOUTH AFRICA

The format for this tournament is that there will be two groups of five battling it out to see which teams will advance to the semi-finals and then the hoped-for final.

South Africa start our campaign fresh from a courageous (or humiliating, depending which team you back) fight back against England that saw them win the last five limited overs matches on tour, including two T20 matches – the last one a quite comprehensive nine wicket thrashing with more than five overs to spare.

So with the psychological wounds fresh, that seems like the best game to open with. We follow those with matches against a struggling Sri Lanka and a beleaguered West Indian team who will be playing without two of their match winners in Narine and Pollard. The final team in our pool is a qualifier.

COULD THIS BE THE ONE?

With at least one of Australia, New Zealand and hosts India certain to miss out, we definitely have the easiest of passages to the second round. Where we will be two matches away from potentially holding up that cup.

T20 cricket being what it is, any of the top teams can beat the other on the day. Australia as proverbial enemies, New Zealand as a frequent world cup nemesis and India as the host nation who recently thoroughly embarrassed us in the test portion of our tour there, suggest that the last two games needed will be hurdles of the highest order.

In our favour is that we did recently win our first ever T20 series in India and so that will be fresh in the minds and hearts of our team who must know they carry such a huge weight of expectation once again.

But with AB Devilliers (71 off 29 balls) and Hashim Amla (69 off 38) having returned to their best against England, Tahir and Abbott being measly while taking wickets, and All Rounders Wiese and Morris showing they are ready to stand up and win games with adventurous batting, South Africa is looking good. Add a returning in-form Quinton de Kock and world class Dale Steyn to the mix and perhaps anything is possible.

I BELIEVE, HELP MY UNBELIEF

I don’t think any South African supporter will completely believe it until we see the cup being held in the air. But we so desperately want to believe that this time, this time we have it in us to win.

What do you think? Is it finally time for the green and gold to get the gold?

Read the Beloved Country

Lifestyle

Brett Fish

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February 29, 2016

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My wife tbV (the beautiful Val) and I returned to South Africa in 2014.

We had spent three years living in Americland (as I call it) working with non-profit organisations in fairly low economy and rough areas and were glad to be back. While I was in the States I had become particularly impassioned by the need for us to see racial equality in South Africa. Despite 20 plus years having passed since the “miracle of ’94” it was clear that for significant amounts of people, not too much had changed for the better.

Having been away for three years though, it didn’t feel like we had the greatest right to dive straight into conversations about race and reconciliation and other areas of importance.

A TRIP TO ROBBEN ISLAND

A short while after we returned to South Africa we were really fortunate to be invited to a weekend trip to Robben Island with a diverse group of young up-and-coming leaders for some conversations and reflection. Led by Rene August, under the banner of Freedom Mantle and with former Archbishop Njongonkulu Ndungane (a former political prisoner at Robben Island) as our host, we heard some first-hand stories of what had gone down during their time of incarceration – some light moments but also some harsher and more painful realities.

I was introduced to the person of Robert Sobukwe, a name I had heard but knew relatively little about, and just before leaving the island, picked up a copy of his book, How Can Man Die Better (written by his friend, Benjamin Pogrund) so that I could learn some more about a person who to many young black people I had discovered was viewed as even more significant than Nelson Mandela.

CATCHING UP

I thoroughly enjoyed reading that book and felt like it helped me begin a journey of catching up on a history I was never taught about South Africa. Next up was Steve Biko’s I Write What I Like which was largely a collection of essays and speeches that he had delivered. Two of the most influential voices of black Africans in South Africa, and both well worth getting your hands on.

I also read a number of other South African authored books, finding Antjie Krog’s Better to be Black very interesting and challenging, and No Life Of My Own by Frank Chikane, part of which recounts the time the government tried to kill him by putting poison in his clothes at the airport. I also tried one or two that were less inspiring. But the point was about reading the country’s story from different perspectives than those I had been surrounded with growing up.

Still on my list to read are classics like, The Country of My Skull (Antjie Krog) and Alan Paton’s Cry the Beloved Country which I hope to seek out right after I finish the book I just started, which is Desmond Tutu’s No Future Without Forgiveness.

WHAT CAN I DO?

South Africa is so politically charged at the moment and many people are (finally) asking, “What can I do?”. For me this feels like one of the most helpful things. It is time for us as white folks, especially, to really start catching up and trying to understand the country and the people we are surrounded by.

For us to be able to significantly engage with those around us of different race, I believe that we have to make “reading up about our country” part of our regular lifestyle. Inviting voices that don’t sound like ours of people who don’t think like us to share their stories and affect and help transform our thinking and then our actions.

This is not the answer. But it is a really good beginning. If you have never read How Can Man Die Better or I Write What I Like then that feels like a crucial place for you to start.

What other books would you recommend as “must reads” to better understand South Africa? And what books specific to the history of your own country (if you’re not South African) would you encourage others to read?

What if the Church met politics?

Brett Fish

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February 25, 2016

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“You don’t mix church and politics.”

That was the mantra I learned growing up, almost as if it was some secret 11th commandment that only my parents knew about.

And yet it was so obvious it never needed an explanation – which perhaps made it easier to keep, as unchallenged ideas usually are.

“Church and Politics? Well obviously those shouldn’t be mixed. Everyone knows that. Pass the salt.”

But then one unfortunate day, you stumble upon the ravings of a madman, or in my case a prophet called Isaiah in the Bible, who in chapter 61:1-4 suggests:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

WHEN YOU READ THE WORDS

Ideas such as binding up the broken-hearted and proclaiming the year of the Lord’s favour sounded very much like the kind of words I was used to hearing in church.

But reaching out to the poor? Proclaming freedom of captives? Rebuilding, restoring and renewing devastated cities? That was starting to sound a little more political.

I was further ruined by reading passages like these in Colossians:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him [vs 17]

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. [vs 23-24]

Which totally shook up the spiritual vs secular partition that many people had worked tirelessly to keep prevalent in my mind. If everything you are doing is done in the name of Jesus and as if it were being done for Jesus, then surely everything is spiritual. And there is no divide.

ALL OF ME

That is the overwhelming idea that runs through Scripture. That God is interested in us as whole people and in us as communities and even in us as nations. If that is true then surely the church has to be involved in politics, because so much of life and His mission is connected to politically-linked things?

Now I do believe that there should be some kind of boundaries between the two. I’m not convinced that having a Christian as ruler of a country and trying to rule it by Godly principles is what we’re called to – Jesus often gave the idea that His kingdom is not of this earth. But when it comes to issues of education and healthcare and poverty and refugees and racial tension then I firmly believe that as the church we can’t not be involved.

And this thing is costly. When Jesus quoted that Isaiah message He was almost thrown off a cliff (check out Luke 4). Systems that have been built on some people being rich while others remain poor don’t tend to favour those who would look to address that imbalance. But when we chose to follow Jesus, we also chose to Deny ourselves, take up our cross daily and then follow Him. (Luke 9.23)

WHERE DO I BEGIN?

I love the idea of holding a Bible in your one hand and a newspaper in the other. In fact, Karl Bath had this wisdom to say on the matter:

‘Take your Bible and take your newspaper, and read both. But interpret newspapers from your Bible.’

We need to be people who take the call to follow Jesus with every area of our lives seriously. We need to be reading and paying attention to the happenings (in our country and around the world). And we need to be looking to see where our faith journey intersects with the political happenings of the world around us.

We can’t be involved in every single political happening. But we can ask God every day to draw our hearts towards the issues and incidents that He wants us to be engaged with and acting upon.

What has your understanding been of the Church/Politics question growing up? Were you encouraged to ask questions and get involved or to stay far far away? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

How to disagree well online

Brett Fish

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February 22, 2016

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Let’s face it, social media playgrounds can feel like a minefield for anyone wanting to express an honest opinion or disagree with what someone else has said.

Someone out there will disagree with you no matter what stance you are taking on what topic. And with great anonymity (that being on the other side of a computer screen provides) comes great freedom and lack of fear to say whatever you want to say however you want to say it. There is a reason why the popular news site News24 recently shut down their comments section, for example, and yes, I can see you nodding. Rule #1: Tread gently into the comments section, or just avoid it completely.

But does it have to be like that? Can we work together to help create spaces where genuine and honest dialogue can take place on topics that can be sensitive or controversial? Where opinions may differ strongly – especially when we log on and read a comment or a status, or see an article shared that we disagree strongly with and maybe even makes us angry?

Here are some ideas I hope will help us do that:

SOME SIMPLE WAYS TO “INTERNET” BETTER

Make Sure You Are Seeing What You Think You Are Seeing: The first lesson in the “How to live a Happy Life Online” course none of us gets to take, is that written words struggle to convey tone.

Sure, if someone is calling you a name or questioning your faith or species, tone can become more instantly discernible, but a lot of the time it can actually depend on your mood, your current relationship with the person who posted if you know them, the language you both use, and a number of other factors.

So a healthy first step is to ask a clarifying question: “Were you suggesting…” or “Did I hear you correctly that you think…” and so on. It helps to make sure that the message you received was the one they were intending to send because crossed wires can happen so easily when we don’t have the volume, body posture or facial expressions that accompany a face-to-face conversation.

So make sure you heard what you think you did. Then move on from there.

If you disagree strongly with something, try and clarify for yourself what you are disagreeing with: When you read a piece and get angry, it can be helpful to try and understand what exactly is making you angry. Was I angry because of the words they used? Was I angry because their message implied something about me or someone I care about? Was it simply because I think differently on the matter? Or was I angry because some jerk cut me off in traffic ten minutes ago and I arrived at my computer angry, and this really has nothing to do with the piece at all?

If you can state to yourself why you are angry or why you think differently, then it is going to be very helpful to the person you engage with in terms of them understanding where you are coming from.

Don’t make it personal: If you read something and disagree with what someone has written, then engage with what has been written. Don’t go straight to questioning the person’s motivation or their heart for a particular issue or anything that is not related to the piece. That can be the quickest way to shut down an engagement.

Once you’ve ascertained that they meant what you thought they meant, perhaps begin with something less likely to incite an argument, such as, “I read what you wrote and I see it in a different way because [list reasons]. Do you have any thoughts on that?”

I know I will respond a lot better to someone who invites me to engage with them on social media. When someone disagrees really strongly with me, but does it respectfully, we are more likely to have a healthy and helpful conversation about what we disagree about and hopefully both learn something from the other person’s stance on a matter.

Explore the inbox route. While I am a huge cheerleader of the idea that there are certainly times when a public message needs to be responded to publicly (think: Jesus and the Pharisees; Jesus and His disciples when they wanted power in heaven; Paul and Peter when he was acting hypocritically with the Jews) there is also the really helpful example given in the Bible in Matthew 18.

The first step is to approach the person one-on-one. So when you read something online that makes you angry or confused or that you are just not sure about, a great first step can be to drop the person a private email in their inbox with some questions or statements. If they don’t listen to you or respond, well, then it talks about going back to them with two or three people you trust and confronting them again. If that doesn’t work, you are to take the matter to the greater body of the church. I find that a helpful way to deal with things whether it is with Christians or non-Christians alike. It is also really helpful if you’re not 100% sure you understand them and want to start by clarifying. Sometimes it can be a simple misunderstanding or mistake of communication that can be cleared up quickly, and a fight has been avoided.

Take it offline – coffee and breaking bread: Some of my best conflict dealings have actually resulted in good friendships. I find social media a great place to start fights, but not the best of places to finish them. So, often when I have been in a huge disagreement with someone online and it starts to look like it is getting our of hand or personal or not really going anywhere, I will take it offline: “Would you like to come and have a coffee with me?’; “Come and have a meal with me and my wife, tbV (the beautiful Val)” or, “Let’s go hang out at Golden Dish late at night and wrestle this out over a gatsby.”

As I said, those times when people have taken me up on that, have led to some of my strongest and best friendships. Because when you hang out with me, you will hopefully be able to see past whatever we are disagreeing about, and realise that I am someone who passionately loves God and people and is really trying to work towards being part of creating a better country for us all. There are times online when I get tired (as someone who engages a lot online) and so might occasionally end up being sarcastic or losing patience with someone and respond in a way that is not the best.

So take it offline. Break bread with me and let’s really try and listen to each other and hear what the person is saying. And you know what – we don’t have to agree. We can leave a conversation both still strongly believing the things we believe and hopefully the fact that we stopped and listened and really tried to understand the other side of the argument might even have strengthened our beliefs in our own.

Test the spirits. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil: We read that in the Bible in Thessalonians, but it is good advice for everyone. Any time we read a piece (or hear a sermon or podcast) we should be asking, “What is true in this for me?” and then cling to that truth. But anything that is not true, we should be able to let go and not get too bothered by. I believe God gave us a brain (Love the Lord your God with all your mind, the Bible says] and He wants us to use it. This is a helpful skill to build up, especially as different writers and speakers will sometimes get it right and sometimes get it wrong.

Lastly, and this feels like an important one, know that not every message written is addressed to you: I see people reading a piece on the need to help the poor and they get so defensive and list all the things they are doing and get angry that someone could make a blanket statement and so on. But if you were doing the testing I spoke about above, you would have quickly realised, “Oh, this piece is not for me” and moved on. Not every message written (and probably not any message written) will be as relevent for everyone who reads it. So we need to learn what is for us and what isn’t.

DISAGREE BETTER

I hope you found that helpful. If so, you might want to share it on your social media platforms to help other people be exposed to it as well. Having different opinions and disagreeing on significant issues can be super helpful in terms of helping us to learn and grow together, but if it erupts into a heated argument or if people feel attacked and leave immediately, then we can miss out on that.

We need to learn to disagree better. And then to move the important conversations we have online offline and also see them move us into action.

Happy disagreeing!

The Great(est) Gatsby

Brett Fish

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February 18, 2016

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Last night I ended up on the streets of Gatesville in Cape Town, South Africa, enjoying a steak masala gatsby at a restaurant called Golden Dish.

But let’s back up a little bit.

Saturday night, I, along with 29 999 other people, give or take, attended the Passion Worship event in Cape Town. Sunday morning I wrote a blog post about it sharing some reflections I had – some good things I experienced, and some things that troubled me about the event.

And then the internet exploded… well kinda.

The responses were completely polarised. From people sharing my post and high fiving and cheering me on for saying it like it is, to people questioning my salvation, my judgemental tendencies and in one slightly more extreme case, telling me to “Shut your pie hole!”

There were a number of responses I really enjoyed (and let me tell you, pie hole was up there), but the one that stood out for me most was one that simply said, alongside a share of my post, “Someone get this man a gatsby!”

ENTER DJ EAZY

Many years ago, I had helped to organise a Christian music festival called Newsong Festival and one of the guys I had met there was a coloured DJ called DJ Eazy (or “Tyrone!” when he’s in trouble with his mom!). He jumped on, we started chatting, and then we made a plan to make that a reality.

At the last minute, unfortunately, Fusi, who was the one calling for the gatsby, had another engagement and so it ended up as me and 10- or 15-year reunion with DJ Eazy standing with three gatsbys outside arguably the most popular gatsby establishment in all of Cape Town.

THE WAY FORWARD

For three days I had spent a lot of time engaging with people online about my post, trying to share some of the reasons I felt God might have wanted me to critique it in the way I did. Some of those conversations went pretty well and others went quite badly.

But it was on Tuesday morning, first sitting with my friend Wayne in my lounge drinking coffee and then later on the streets of Gatesville (where there were slightly fewer white people than there had been at Passion) where the real engagement happened.

The gatsbys were amazing and the humble service and generosity I experienced from Ameen, the Muslim man who runs Golden Dish made an impact, but it was the face-to-faceness of the encounters that felt significant to me. It was a cup of coffee with a new mate and then an on-the-street conversation with a guy who moves in very different spheres from me.

HELPING BOTH ENDS MEET

I am convinced that the long-term transformative solution to the problems of my country, South Africa, lies in relationship. The internet can be a great place to get conversations started, but unless we get face to face and break bread together or have a coffee or sit in the middle of a busy road late at night and share a gatsby, we are unlikely to make much progress.

When you meet, something that otherwise can remain an issue (that can be held at arm’s length and not fully engaged with) becomes a person, with a story, and it is a lot harder to dismiss or ignore or disengage from a person.

We see it in the way we have traditionally done giving in this country – we have outsourced it to churches/non-profit organisations and charities so that the rich never have to meet the poor. The solution is bringing the rich and the poor together. Finding a way to do generosity through relationship. An organisation like Common Change that has just launched in South Africa has some creative ideas to do that.

And it’s the way we’ve responded to race – we see an incident online or in the paper, we see something burning and respond with “those people” or “there they go again” without taking a moment to listen or try and understand the story of the pain that is behind the actions. Perhaps connecting with an individual will change our hearts and later our actions.

PEOPLE OF FAITH

I can imagine Jesus’ voice saying something like, “Blessed are those who share a gatsby, for they will come face to face and be changed.”

Or something like, “The kingdom of God was like a man who invited a brother on to the streets to share a gatsby…”

How can we get creative about the ways we engage with the issues around us? I believe it has to happen in our lounges, at the local coffee shop, or even in the streets of Gatesville, any time up to 2am when they are still are serving the best gatsbys in Cape Town. Let’s do this.

Why the race debate is changing

Brett Fish

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February 11, 2016

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Are you part of the conversation?

“Today I commit myself to step into and speak up against any form of racism I see or hear in front of me, whether online or offline and I invite you to do the same. #NotOnOurWatch”

That statement, or one like it, has been my Facebook status every day for the past month or so. The hope is to see a growing movement of white people in particular who will refuse to allow racism to happen in front of them unchecked. But the hope is also that people in general will do the same thing when any form of injustice crosses their path.

As I love to say: “The ants outnumber the crickets”. This is a Disney-cartoon-enhanced metaphor meaning that there are more of us (who may feel small and insignificant, as the extremes on either side tend to be louder and more aggressive) who want South Africa to be a great nation of people living in unity, than there are who would not. This probably applies to you no matter what country you call home.

FIRST SHOW UP

It seems that statuses and conversations like these are cropping up all over the social media landscape. Whereas in the past these would have quickly boiled over into arguments and name-calling, it feels like we have turned a bit of a corner. I have been pleasantly surprised of late as to how many of these conversations have been allowed to go deeper and be treated with more respect by people on all sides, even finding space to strongly disagree without offending or being offensive.

Then I see a list of blog posts in a South African bloggers group I am part of and as I skim down the list I see cupcakes and parties and handbags and recipes and decorating and I must admit I do a bit of an eye-roll.

These conversations are happening, and they are starting to look more positive and healthy and healing, but we need to be seeing more of them.

Whether it’s a status you write or a blog post you read or an article you share, the invitation is to get involved. There is a wave of revolution starting to gather force and rise as a tsunami over the nation – but for the first time in a long, long time, it is filled with hope and optimism and positive engagement.

Are you a part of that wave? And if not yet, how are you going to be?

DEEP DIVE CONVERSATION

My wife tbV (the beautiful Val) and I started a tradition last year that we called Deep Dive Conversation Dinners. On these nights, we invite a diverse group of people with different ideas about a certain topic (money, where we live, church, race) and then have a meal together and a four to five (to seven – the last one ended at 2 am because people just kept on engaging) hour conversation on a significant topic.

We hope to create a safe space, and the idea of breaking bread together before diving into meaty conversation gives it a good foundation. But we also want to allow it to be awkward and hard and painful and full of tears and with space for anger and accusation and hard questions and quiet reflection. We all need to be a part of creating more spaces like that, regardless of our background or nationality.

INVITATION TO GET YOUR FEET WET

Is this something you have been aware of? Are you a part of these necessary conversations in terms of your friend groups and family? Are you a part of creating spaces or joining them where you see them and committing to diving deeper on a conversation that is so important right now?

What have you seen that is starting to increase your hope that maybe, just maybe, we will turn out alright?

Share a story in the comments section of a conversation or action or something you have heard or seen this last week that gave you some hope?

It’s not all rubbish: Why recycling can change the world

Lifestyle

Brett Fish

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February 8, 2016

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It’s not all rubbish: Why recycling can change the world

The other day on Facebook I did a quick status survey about Recycling. I simply asked the question, “Do you Recycle or not?”

I was pleasantly overwhelmed by the responses from people in our home city, Cape Town, naming a whole number of different organisations, from schools (Bergvliet High), to places where you can drop off your recycling (Oasis) to services that come around and pick it up for you (Kool Waste, Clearer Conscience). I also found this article on CapeTownMagazine.com which gives quite a broad spectrum of places in Cape Town that offer these services. By googling recycling in your own province or country it is pretty easy to find out what is available for you.

WHY RECYCLE?

My wife, Val, and I have been dropping ours off every couple of weeks at a place that sorts and recycles for you and it really feels like a great rhythm to work into your week.

Many of my friends who responded to the survey said that the waste that they actually throw away after recycling has been reduced to one plastic bag per week, which boggles the mind in terms of realising how much we actually waste that can be reused.

Recycling has also proven to be one of the primary sources of income for many of the people who live on the streets in my own country, South Africa, and I am constantly amazed at how much cardboard some of these people can balance on an old trolley when you see them heading off to the depot. One way you could invest into the lives of someone else is to build a relationship with someone who collects the cardboard and glass in your street and save yours specifically for them.

MAKE THE CHANGE

I really want to encourage you: If you have not been someone who recycles, do some quick research and make the shift towards handling your rubbish better. In terms of both the planet and the employment that it helps give to other people, there is just no reason for any of us not to be doing it.

Why not run your own quick survey with your friends on social media? Ask who is doing it and what services they use and then challenge your friends who are not recycling to jump on board and get going with it.

If you have children, why not invite them to make recycling invitations and then post them into all the houses on your street, sharing the information with your neighbours and inviting them to be a part of it as well. This can be a great object lesson to young children on how they can be a huge part of looking after our planet.

This really feels like such a small thing we can do that can have the hugest impact.

Why not leave a comment below telling us where you are in your journey of Recycling. When did you start? What service do you use? What difference has it made in your house? And maybe you can share one idea of something you are going to do to help inform others of the importance of it.

Brett Fish

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