Fran Thring, Author at 1Africa

Looking back over my shoulder

Lifestyle

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December 28, 2016

Have you ever watched the Italian job where those little cars are hurtling like crazy down the narrow Italian streets, across the bridges in an epic car chase? I have an aerial view of that in my head right now and it’s how I feel about the end of this year. Here I am, me, a little mini careering down alley ways, avoiding potholes and trying to survive as things come to a rapid close. Where did the year go? Did I like it?

It’s hard to say “yes, it was a good year,” or “no, definitely not” when in actual fact most of life is a mixed bag. As the year draws to a close there are things I like to think about, there are things I like to do to set me up for a win for next year. A win sounds a bit like one of the TV Marketer’s “Here’s how you WIN at life,” so let’s rephrase for a second. I like to insure that I approach the new year with a healthy mindset, healthy attitudes so it’s more likely to be a “good year” than a “let me never relive that again ever.”

Reflect on the year that has passed

“I believe that evaluated reflection turns experience into insight. So, I evaluate what I did so that I gain insight for what I should be doing in the New Year.” John Maxwell

At the end of the year I like to take time off to “think”. Meaning, I literally sit down and think about the year that passed. What went well? What didn’t? I look at all the areas of my life: businesses, relationships, finances and family and ask myself: how did it go, and why?

I revise my life plan – that vague “this is where I want to go,” thing in my head with the new information I have acquired.

This time and planning sets me up to make the best critical decisions to live the most purposeful life I can in the year ahead.

2. Stay Positive

Why carry the bad stuff across? A New Year means new things; it means change. I take time at the end of the year to do a “healthy heart check”- what are the issues nagging and tearing at my heart. Where do I have bitterness or disappointment? I do a forgiveness session where I forgive everyone who I feel has hurt me. I also forgive myself.

3. Be thankful

I write down every good thing I can remember from the past year. I also ask: “What do I want to be thankful for one year from now?

4. Simplify

What is there in your life which really doesn’t need to be there. What can you edit out which would leave the greater whole healthier and more productive. I decide what I am going to spend more and less time on this next year.

5. Set compelling goals

Dream again. What is your dream and how is it going? Are you allowing yourself to dream a little? What makes you smile? What makes you happy? Are you going for it, are you taking it into account, are you moving towards it?

6. Break it down

Break down your bigger strategic goals into smaller and more achievable chunks. Think about what you want to accomplish by the END of the year and then work backwards so you have milestones and it is less intimidating. Your day is your week, is your month, is your year.

7. Unplug

There is nothing on the planet that can replace rest. Relax, the year is nearly done and you deserve a well-earned rest. “The single most important thing I do to set myself up for the best year ever is take the last two weeks of December off,” Andy Stanley. If you don’t take time out you won’t have the energy to get up and crush it next year.

I’m excited for the new year. In fact, I’m excited to sit down and do my planning and strategy (all this stuff above). We can all accomplish the things that matter most in each of our lives this coming year, if we apply some thought and intention to our year-end.

Thrifty Gifting: Your 2016 Guide

Fran Thring

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December 23, 2016

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Being an adult is complicated. Tiresome. A lot of work. Just think of what Christmas was like as a child: the pinnacle of the year. A guaranteed shower of presents. A glorious blur of lights, plays, crackers, cookies, nuts and FUN. I remember being shunted out of my bedroom to sleep in my parent’s room on Christmas eve. Sleep? Please you must be kidding me. I would lie awake half the night, my tummy churning with anticipation about the Stocking from Santa which I knew would await me in the morning.

My brother would wake me up, we would have our morning fight. We fought a lot. We would wake up our parents and I can recall sneaking down the passage to check out what was at the bottom of the tree and it was always loads. We would pick up boxes and rattle them to try guess what was inside. We would beg BEG our parents to let us open “just one”.

Now, it’s not quite the same. Now it’s December and your Christmas bonus isn’t as big as you thought it was. Now it’s December and you aren’t the recipient of the tree of presents, you have to buy a tree’s worth of presents. Now it’s December and you suddenly realise that Great Aunty Pam is coming for Christmas and bringing all her children and you are going to need to get them all gifts. Gulp. It’s terrifying, we understand.

Before you throw away all your Christmas cheer and phone the bank for a loan, relax. Here are some thrifty Christmas gifts ideas.

Hot Chocolate – the nice kind, ok? Not Nestle in a twisty red tub. We’re talking a decent brand that comes in some pretty packaging. You can’t go wrong with hot chocolate, and if they don’t like it they are bound to have some guests who will. Bingo.

Cookies in cellophane – So you haven’t opened the oven in 4 months and there may be half of an old potato stuck on the grid – it doesn’t matter buy yourself a cookie mix and get creative. Add some nuts, chocolate chips and sprinkles. If you wrap your cookies nicely they will look just as nice as something from the store, for half the price.

A good wine or 10 – you can never have too many back up bottles of wine for gifts. Forgot to get a gift for Henry? Pull out a good bottle. It’s the standard adult gift, and unless they don’t drink it’s probably an easy go to. Especially for the guys, because as we know they are 1000 times more difficult to get prezzies for.

A gift card – yes it’s boring. But wait, is it really boring. I mean the recipient can select whatever they want. It’s the quickest and easiest way to get into the shopping mall and back out again without trooping all over the place to try find something specific. Plus you can get the same thing for all the cousins without worrying.

A jar of sweet treats – Mason jars are all the rage. People are using them as lemonade glasses at their weddings, vases at tea with Gran and what do you know, they can be made into a Christmas present too. Here’s how it works. Go to a wholesale store and buy multiple bags of cheap sweets. Buy a pretty ribbon. Layer the sweets in the mason jar and tie a ribbon around the top to secure it.

Buy someone dinner. I guess this may fall under the gift voucher category but also it may not as this can be wrapped up in quality time. The lucky recipient of this gets to have a whole evening with you and you pay for it. Actually, this is a great way of building a relationship which needs some work or alternatively just showing someone you love them enough to foot a bill and stare into their eyes for hours.

Hey if all else fails, there are always socks. Everyone wears socks and now days the options are endless. Embrace the tiresome adultness that comes with having to buy all the presents, be shopping smart and you’ll find maybe you’ll be a little bit excited on Christmas day too.

What makes Christianity special?

Faith
Jesus

Fran Thring

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December 21, 2016

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What makes Christianity different from any other religion out there. This is what I thought about this week, amongst other things. It all started when I had to visit the doctor. I had flu. Essentially, I was a ticking time bomb everyone on every side of me had been sick and somehow I had stuck it out. Healthy, alert and full of energy …until Tuesday night. Dang that lurgy had made it’s way into my system too. Ugh.

Anyway, so there I was at the doctor’s office. It was very nice, they gave me coffee and the reception area had Elle Magazines (must be the R50 increase in price since my last visit). Not that I cared that much, honestly I wanted to get home and take a long nap in a quiet room.

I stepped into the doctor’s office, bag of tissues and book in hand. I plonked the book on the desk in front of the doctor and I took my seat ready for analysis. “Good day”, the doctor was nice.

“Hi,” I responded through the snotty mass which clogged my nasal passages.

The doctor stopped what he was doing, “Oh, what do we have here?” He picked up the book I had put on the counter. “That’s what I’m reading,” I told him.

“Starving Jesus?”

“Yes, it’s about being a Christian who actually represents the real Jesus, not just someone who ticks the boxes on a form, or says Christian to appease the company he is in, or attends church to feel like he does the right thing.” This clearly interested the Doctor.

“Yes”, he said and he looked away. “That’s very important. It’s very important to keep that relationship with God the most important thing. No matter what God you believe in. I too believe in God,” he told me.

“Ok,” I nodded showing him he could continue.

He pointed to some plagues on the wall, “Here are some of the things I believe in and which motivate me.”

I looked up and read the plagues he was pointing to – they didn’t seem to make a lot of sense to me but that may have been because my brain was hardly functioning at that stage. It sounded airy fairy spiritual, but I didn’t tell him that. “You know,” he was evidently enjoying having someone who he could talk to about spiritual things. “I have had so many things happen which I know must be God. Some people would say its co-incidence. I wouldn’t. I believe we need to pay attention to these things.”

I agreed and he launched into a scene by scene story of how once he had got helped at Home Affairs and how he came to be working with his current business partner.

Later, when I left the office I thought, clearly the man had a sense of God. I guess I believe everyone has some sense of God. What was it I then considered that made what I believed different? Could we just believe in any God and it was all the same, with a different wrapping.

What makes Christianity special, I researched. Here’s what I found.

You can’t work your way into God’s good books

Christianity is based on the principle that you will never be good enough for a holy God. In the Old Testament (the first half of the Bible) we learn that God created rules for mankind to live by – these are called the 10 commandments. Jesus paid the price for our inability to keep God’s holy rules (sin) and so we are made ok with God through him.

2. Christianity isn’t a religious system

It’s actually about a real relationship with God. A relationship which he maintains. A two-way street, like any friendship. We aren’t seen as small and insignificant. Instead we are seen as sons and daughters of God.

3. Christianity has the Bible

The Bible is considered God-inspired. It talks of prophecies and also shows them coming true. It is the book based on eye-witness accounts and shows a great deal of literary consistency.

4. Christianity has the resurrection

Jesus died and rose again. He defeated death. Krishna did not do this, Confucius did not do this, Buddha did not do this, and Muhammad did not do this. He claimed to be God and miracles followed him wherever he went.

You is KIND, you is SMART

Fran Thring

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December 16, 2016

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Everyone is talented in their own way.

I love to travel. I love experiencing culture and watching the fascinating way it shapes and moulds humanity. I like observing the small waving body of an Ethiopian child or watching an Italian make a cup of coffee. I like watching a French man pick out a suit or an African-American woman watching her favourite reality show. I picking out the unique mix of influences that make each and every person on the planet unique.

When we grow up we often think that some people are smart and some are dumb. Our schooling system judges humans on their ability to sit in a room and listen to a teacher, but the fact of the matter is that intelligence is SO much more than that. Each person has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. I’m reminded of the story/film: “The Help,” in which one of the main characters sits down with the little girl and tells her “you is KIND and you is SMART.” It probably changed that little girl’s life.

Take my group of friends, for example: There’s Tom. He’s an architect and he’s good at precision and finding practical solutions. Then there’s Kate. She’s good with people and is friends with the entire Universe, or so it feels. My other friend Candy is a designer and she’s good with detail and colour. Then there’s Tony and he always, always has a good joke up his sleeve. It makes me sad to think that we’re taught that some of us are intelligent and some not. Actually we should be taught we are all intelligent in different areas.

There are 9 types of intelligence and it may help to know what you are good at so that you can pick a career which links with your strengths.

Spatial – This means visualizing the world in 3D. These people enjoy the outdoors and are able to picture things in their mind with a great deal of accuracy.

Intrapersonal – this skill is understanding yourself, what you feel and what you want.

Linguistic – this person is good with words and expressing themself.

Naturalist – this person understands living things and the world around them

Musical – the musical person can discern sounds, their pitch, tone and rhythm.

Logical – the logical person is your mathematician. They like quantifying things, making hypotheses and proving themselves.

Bodily kinesthetic – the sports people. They are good at coordinating your mind with your body.

Interpersonal – sensing people’s feelings and motives. These are the mind readers, the ‘good with people’ people.

Existential – these are the deep ones. They spend time tackling the question of why we live, and why we die.

There is the test and you can take it and try figure out your stuff. I took it and found out that I am strong in linguistic, existential and intrapersonal – go figure. Hahaha, I knew that but I haven’t always.

At some stage of our lives we have to accept that we got what we got. We can’t wish to be him or her because it isn’t going to make us him or her. It’s going to make us a shoddy, grey version of ourselves which is far, far worse. God made you you. And he did it for a good reason.

So much of the world is caught up in the “if only” idea. The “if only” I was good at maths. The if only I had her hair and thighs. I look at people who have stood out in time for the right reasons. They weren’t trying to be someone else. They weren’t fighting what they were given. They embraced what they were given, they had a grateful attitude and then they started working on things. The more time you spend trying to be someone else, the more time you waste of being you.

Embrace your own form of intelligence. “You’re lucky enough to be different, never change”

― Taylor Swift. Thanks Taylor, you’re onto something.

Why don’t you Unblock God?

Faith
Jesus

Fran Thring

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December 14, 2016

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Block User is the single most amazing thing on the social networking planet. Aunty Beatrice’s negative comments on all your party photos- block her. That girl who keeps posting baby photos and it makes you broody, block her. The weird guy who keeps sending you text messages with things like “u r hot” – BLOCK HIM. The block function gives us control over what we let into our zone and into our lives. If something is negative and you don’t feel comfortable about it, it’s so simple: block it.

Imagine if we could do that in real life, block someone and yet remain friends with them. As simple as pressing two buttons and BAM they are blocked and you are free. It’s not that simple, though. Human beings are complex and you can’t just stop things with a simple “block.”

We do block God though. We do our everyday life and we block His voice from coming through onto our feed. We like the pictures of our friends on the beach, we comment on the slide show from last year and we even post our own birthday selfie but all the God stuff we’ve filtered out. Even if we don’t always realise it, we’re not “following” God.

I often wish God was less subtle in his pursuit of humanity. I mean, wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier for us to believe God existed if He arrived in Israel on a chariot of horses surrounded by angels? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier for me to tune into and hear what He has to say if He shouted or spoke through a hurricane, or something like that? That’s not the way God works. He cares so much for the human heart that He doesn’t force his way in. He doesn’t demand our attention. He waits. Waits for us to turn to Him. To want to listen to what He has to say. To follow His ways and change our own.

He desperately wants our attention. He wants to work in our lives, to bless us and look after us. He wants to use us for His purpose and in His ways. More often than not He can’t because we’ve blocked Him.

Wait a sec, how do we block God?

Issues in our hearts

God seeks a pure heart. When we have things going on in our heart which aren’t good and need to be resolved they seem to crowd out the sacred space reserved for Him. They also shout very loudly and require a lot of our attention. If we have bitterness, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, jealousy and dishonesty in our heart then we block God from working in our life. We also hold ourselves back because these things weigh you down and drag you out of the purposes and plans which God has for you. If there are issues in your heart then you need to take some time to talk to someone and chose to let them go so your heart will be “clean.”

Lack of generosity

One of the greatest ways you can allow for God to move in your life is through generosity. The bible tells us that the heart of the generous gets larger. This essentially means that your life is enriched through your generosity. The things that we have on this earth are entrusted to us so that we can look after them and use them to help other people. When we live with a closed mindset, or a ‘me! me! me!’ mindset then we block God from using us. If you feel like you may have become more self-centred in your way of life, sit down and decide to make some changes. Increase your monthly giving or spend more of your time volunteering.

Lack of faith

The greatest thing which blocks God is your lack of faith. Faith is the currency in heaven. God is attracted to our faith. When we have faith, we pray and we take courageous steps then we see miracles. God is able to do incredible things in and through our lives, but not if we don’t ask Him to, or don’t believe He will. Where in your life do you lack trust in God? Where could you do with some more faith?

Have you let God take the reins, take control, or have you pushed Him to the bottom of the list, unfollowed Him and let the rest of the world overtake your world view. If you’re going to block, then God isn’t the one to block.

New job, new year? Heck yeah…

Fran Thring

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December 9, 2016

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Tired of your job? Not excited to bond with your laptop for another LONG year? Reckon it’s time you took a rain check on that sales position and started to look for something which you preferred? Well, perhaps you should and here are some ideas of how.

Have a coffee date with yourself

Ask yourself what do you dislike about your current job? what do you like? Which situations have you done well in and which have you struggled with. Where do you see yourself in 5 years and where do you see yourself in 10? The more detail you are able to provide the clearer you will be on what kind of job you want to go for.

Hang with HR

HR wants you to be happy. Happy employees are productive employees. Think about your current position and if there are any opportunities within the company. Think about growth within the company and how you can both facilitate this – for example: you and the company split the cost of a new course. You don’t know unless you ask, and you can’t expect HR to read your mind. Or anyone for that matter.

Update your Resume and LinkedIn

Yes everyone else may be sipping beer and sprawling near the pool over the holidays but you want to be ready when the new year comes. Take some time each day to update your resume and profile, there is nothing worse than the perfect job coming up and you don’t have your gear together.

Plus, who knows who is wondering around LinkedIn and may stumble across your pretty package.

Holiday party #networkopportunity

Perfect. Everyone is warmed up by the free alcohol and feeling happy about life because they have eaten an entire salary’s worth of sushi for free. It’s the perfect time to a) get around the company bureaucracy, b) suss out any potential ideas. Keep the conversations positive, tell them how much you LOVE the company and see where it goes.

Ask around

Apparently, but don’t quote me on this, 50% of jobs are found through personal networking. Which makes a lot of sense because we trust our friends and therefore we trust their friends. Plus people will put in a good word for you, and that good word could be the difference between a yay or nay. So hey, be smart about it, but don’t leave your networking skills outside with the meat on the barbecue.

Get your interview outfit ready

If you dress a certain way then you feel a certain way. If you feel a certain way then you are FAR FAR more likely to be confident about something and walk away with a win. Get your business suit ironed, even put it on, mentally go there before you physically go there. It works, promise.

Follow follow follow

It’s called social networking for a reason people. Beyond the ‘okay what was Freddie doing on his 4 week holiday to Madagascar’ which blocks up your feed, social networking can be a great way to make a connection with key people in your industry. So don’t feel too bad about that hour you spent on instagram last night before you went to bed. Unless you were liking pug photos, of course.

Treat yo self

Job hunting is exhausting and can be very depressing. We’ve all been there – who feels like a bag of smiles after failed interview number 18? Gulp. Give yourself something to look forward to when you land the big JOB. It will help keep you going, and help keep you head up.

List your strengths

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves – actually you rock. A lot. More than you think. You’re even allowed to look in the mirror and say “hey girlfriend, you da best.” I like you a lot and this is what you’re good at. Don’t be shy, but do acknowledge you have been given a lot and you have things going for you.

10 fun Christmassy things you can do this holiday

Lifestyle

Fran Thring

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December 7, 2016

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10 fun Christmassy things you can do this holiday

So you thought your Christmas was going to be boring? Same old – same old. No way, don’t treat the spirit of Christmas with such disdain. My friend, if you embrace the Christmas spirit, the Christmas spirit will embrace you. Here are some fun Christmas ideas to keep the joy flowing all holiday.

1. Pin some mistletoe (or a palm tree, or a piece of your neighbour’s bush) on your door and invite a cute girl or guy over for dinner.

2. Make your own Christmas decorations. Listen, there may not be snow falling outside but this doesn’t mean that you can’t have snow falling on your indoor Christmas tree. Find yourself some white paper and make some snowflakes. Scissors and white paper are not only for bored kids in a classroom. Those cut out flakes are cute.

3. Build a gingerbread house. Ok so this may be a slightly more advanced Christmas crafty idea, but all the same the time and effort are worth it. Even if you get sick of stale gingerbread after day 4. There are lots of gingerbread recipes online, find a 5 star one which gets Martha Stewart’s vote of approval and bake up a storm. Make some piping icing and you can create something which Hansel and Gretel would be proud of. Be sure to take a picture and let the world share in your baking skills afterwards, of course.

4. Have a sing along. Even if people pretend they don’t like Christmas carols, I don’t believe they are telling the truth. Invite along some friends, find a musical acquaintance and organise a night of caroling. Do it on the weekend so the neighbour’s don’t want to throw a guitar at you after your fourth off-key verse of silent night. Don’t forget to light some candles and if at some stage you feel like knocking on doors and turning it into a charity event, that’s ok.

5. Make a wreath. You may not really have holly where you live (I’m in South Africa and we don’t) but you can improvise. Create a circle out of wire and wrap any green looking plant around it. If you have any pine cones lying around put those in. Feel free to spray paint, add glitter, red balls or ribbon. Your neighbours will be so jealous of all your Christmas festivities when they see it.

6. Knit a stocking. I’ve just been to the shops, there are no decent stocking options. In fact, you can barely find socks this time of the year. The whole of the Southern Hemisphere is wearing sandals it appears. Who can blame them when it’s 30 degrees outside. Anyway, we all know it’s not 30 degrees at the North Pole and that’s where Santa comes from and he probably needs a sock, or two to take home. Sorry, I digress. Get out your knitting needles and make socks to fill for everyone. You can keep the completed ones and reuse them for the following year, Santa won’t mind.

7. Watch Christmas movies and eat caramel popcorn. But you can only do this if you wear a onesie. Otherwise it doesn’t count. A onesie is one of those really large, really, really warm one piece pyjama sets. If you are worried about getting hot, find a room with an air conditioner. There is no way it acceptable to the spirit of Christmas to watch Christmas movies any other way.

8. Drink Champagne.

9. Have a dress up party and make everyone wear a Christmas hat and an ugly Christmas sweater and red and green. And reindeer noses and every other Christmas thing you can possibly think of.

10. Play Secret Santa, except it usually doesn’t remain secret for very long. Here’s what happens, you pick someone’s name out of a hat and then you have to “secretly” buy a gift for them. Then at the official Secret Santa Party you give out your gifts and guess who bought it for you. It’s fun, and it’s cheaper than buying EVERYONE something.

See, I’ve got your Christmas covered. Now run off, I have some Christmas cookies to make before midnight. And some people to show love to, because let’s face it, that’s the MOST fun part of Christmas.

Like, can you stop already?

Fran Thring

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November 30, 2016

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I have a friend who I love dearly. She’s pretty, smart, quirky and very caring. In fact, she’s loved by a whole bunch of people. She’s friends with more people than seems humanly possible. She thinks of everyone else and THEN she thinks of herself. Total friend catch, I know.

Except for one thing, almost every time I see her she says something negative about her body. She has absolutely no reason for a complex. I mean, I don’t think any of us do but all the same she’s well within a normal, healthy active body type. It’s just…a dumb habit. A dumb habit which is holding her back because the more she says it, the more she believes it and the more it affects her everyday life and self-esteem. Like, can you stop already?

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

Sometimes we need to make a decision to STOP doing things which hold us back. I know it’s not easy because a lot of these things are habits, but when you take stock of your life and find they are tipping things into the negative then you have to make some changes.

Things you should stop doing.

Stop spending time with the wrong people

Life is too short to get sucked into drama central, unending negativity or someone who overlooks your worth. The people who stand beside you when you are at your worst are your true friends.

Stop running from your problems

Face them head on and do what you can to make them better. We all get hurt, upset and stumble and fall and that’s okay. But we can only learn and recover when we get through things and work on them to become better.

Stop lying to yourself

Are you telling yourself your finances are fine when they are a big mess? Don’t lie to yourself, it never gets you anywhere and something will not become true just because you wish it would. Honesty is key to getting better and going forward.

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner

You know what, people respect you more if you respect yourself. You are not doing the world a great favour if you don’t look after your own needs. Follow your passions and do something which matters to you.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world which is telling you that you aren’t okay. You don’t need to be prettier, you don’t need to be smarter. What you need to be is ok with you, and confident in you – warts and all.

Stop holding onto the past

Things happen which are special and beautiful and sometimes we want to “go back.” You can’t go back, no matter how much you want to. You have to write your next chapter and move on. You have to look forward and let something new win your heart.

Stop being scared to make a mistake

Doing something and getting it wrong is 10 times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success if you learn from it.

Stop trying to buy happiness

Many of the things we think we want involve money. More and more money. But the truth is, these things don’t satisfy us – what satisfies us is finding a relationship with God, living with purpose, friends, laughter and the beauty of every day life.

Stop being idle

Sitting around waiting for things to land on your lap is the worst way to live your life. Progress involves risk. It involves moving, working hard and giving things a shot. It involves consistency and a good attitude. Sitting at home will get you nowhere.

Stop worrying

Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. Will it matter in 3 years, will it matter in 1? Jesus said to cast your worries on him and he will give you peace.

And lastly, stop putting off the important questions about life. Stop avoiding the topic of faith because it makes you uncomfortable or “they all sound the same”. Be a person of conviction and a person willing to put faith to the test. Be someone who seeks the answers to life’s questions and goes beyond the surface level.

Your friends; your future.

Lifestyle

Fran Thring

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November 25, 2016

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One of my closest friends is Nicola. She’s fun, a great cook, down to earth, reliable, organised and an all round win of a human being. How do I know her? Well, we’ve been friends since we can remember. You think I’m kidding? Nope. It wasn’t as if our Mothers drove out of the parking lot together holding matching pink baby blankets, but it was close to that. Nicola is the only human of my age and sex who lived in a 50km radius of my home where I grew up.

She’s awesome, so I’ve kept her around. But let’s be honest about the situation we became friends because we lived close to each other.

When I went to University I lived in what we called “residence”. It was a big shared house of girls. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Yes, it was wild. And unruly. And fun. A lot of fun. I remember holding a dress up party on the shared grounds outside the law office, and it um… getting a bit out of hand. Our warden found us. I don’t think it was difficult, we were singing Bonnie Tyler at the top of our lungs. We were “talked to” and then had to perform in the Res Talent Competition as a punishment. Which was very, very embarrassing.

I’m still friends with some of those girls today, even though we are scattered throughout the world. Thing is, I would never have made friends with them had I not been forced to stay in the same place. When I arrived there I was different to a lot of the people there, and I didn’t even like some of them. By the end I was the same as the rest and we were all as tight as size down pair of lycra cycling pants on a Christmas body.

You see, how children make friends is usually a case of who is near by in the sand pit. How students make friends is a case of who is near me in the lecture hall and willing to buy me a beer when my funds run dry. Human beings are very predictable.

The thing is when you become an adult you have the opportunity to come in contact with loads of different people. You have a working world full of people with different ages, races and ideas. Things are messy, friends leave and other friends join. You start to realise that you can choose friends, you don’t have to be friends with some people because they are in the same neighbourhood as you. The dynamic shifts. Well, it should.

Studies say that if you want to improve in life you should surround yourself with people who have higher standards than you do. Or else ultimately, you end up dropping down. What you tolerate says a lot about you.

Who is the closest person to you in your life? Does this person make you a BETTER person? Is this person willing to talk to you about things that could be better? Does this person inspire you?

I work as a designer and one thing that designers have to get really REALLY good at is taking feedback. Whenever you design something everyone is going to tear apart your hard work. But it’s for the better. So once I am done with a design I send it to a colleague to get his take on what I have done. Why? Because he will make me better. Because if nobody looks at your work, your work won’t get better.

20% of the population is moving forward. 60% is doing whatever everyone around them is doing. 20% is moving backwards. If you are in the 20% going forward it’s probably because the people around you are going forward. Think of the people you know which elevate your thinking. Think about your friends, your colleagues, the person you are dating.

Keep the good ones, know your worth and be one of those 20% who move forward.

Christianity: potato/potaaaa-to?

Faith
Jesus

Fran Thring

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November 23, 2016

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What makes Christianity different from any other religion out there? This is what I thought about this week, amongst other things. It all started when I had to visit the doctor. I had flu. Essentially, I was a ticking time bomb. Everyone, on every side of me, had been sick and somehow I had stuck it out healthy, alert and full of energy …until Tuesday night. That lurgy had made it’s way into my system too. Ugh.

Anyway, so there I was at the doctor’s office. It was very nice, they gave me coffee and the reception area had Elle Magazines (must be to cover the R50 increase in consultation fee since my last visit). Not that I cared that much, honestly I wanted to get home and take a long nap in a quiet room.

I stepped into the doctor’s office, bag of tissues and book in hand. I plonked the book on the desk in front of the doctor and I took my seat ready for analysis. “Good day”. The doctor was nice.

“Hi,” I responded through the snotty mass which clogged my nasal passages.

The doctor stopped what he was doing, “Oh, what do we have here?” He picked up the book I had put on the counter. “That’s what I’m reading,” I told him.

“Starving Jesus?”

“Yes, it’s about being a Christian who actually represents the real Jesus, not just someone who ticks the boxes on a form, or says Christian to appease the company he is in, or attends church to feel like he does the right thing.” This clearly interested the Doctor.

Yes, he said and he looked away. “That’s very important. It’s very important to keep that relationship with God the most important thing. No matter what God you believe in. I too believe in God,” he told me.

“Ok,” I nodded showing him he could continue.

He pointed to some plagues on the wall, “Here are some of the things I believe in and which motivate me.”

I looked up and read the plagues he was pointing to – they didn’t seem to make a lot of sense to me but that may have been because my brain was hardly functioning at that stage. It sounded airy fairy spiritual, but I didn’t tell him that. “You know,” he was evidently enjoying having someone who he could talk to about spiritual things. “I have had so many things happen which I know must be God. Some people would say its co-incidence, but I don’t. I believe we need to pay attention to these things.”

I agreed and he launched into a scene by scene story of how once he had been helped at Home Affairs and how he was working with his now business partner.

Later when I left the office I thought clearly the man had a sense of God. I guess I believe everyone has some sense of God. What was it then that made what I believed different? Could we just believe in any God and it was all the same, with a different wrapping.

Spot the difference

What makes Christianity special? I researched. Here’s what I found.

You can’t work your way into God’s good books

Christianity is based on the principle that you will never be good enough for a holy God. In the Old Testament (the first half of the Bible) we learn that God created rules for mankind to live by – these are called the 10 commandments. Jesus paid the price for our inability to keep God’s holy rules (sin) and so we are made ok with God through Jesus.

2. Christianity isn’t a religious system

It’s actually about a real relationship with God. A relationship which he maintains. A two-way street, like any friendship. We aren’t seen as small and insignificant. Instead we are seen as sons and daughters of God.

3. Christianity has the Bible

The Bible is considered God-inspired for Christians. It talks of prophecies and also shows them coming true. It is the book based on eye-witness accounts and shows a great deal of literary consistency.

4. Christianity has the resurrection

Jesus died and rose again. He defeated death. Krishna did not do this, Confucius did not do this, Buddha did not do this, and Muhammad did not do this. He claimed to be God and miracles followed him wherever he went.

Fran Thring

Issues in our hearts

Lack of generosity

Lack of faith

Have a coffee date with yourself

Hang with HR

Update your Resume and LinkedIn

Holiday party #networkopportunity

Ask around

Get your interview outfit ready

Follow follow follow

Treat yo self

List your strengths

Things you should stop doing.

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