Fran Thring, Author at 1Africa

Buying a house – look no further

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October 14, 2016

About a month ago I fell in love…with a house. Give me a moment to back track here. I am the age where people usually purchase houses but I’ve never been in the financial situation where this was a viable option. Consequently, the thought has never really crossed my mind. That is until my Mom started planting the seed… “you know, you should really look into property,” or “James and Kathryn are buying property – you should think about it too.”

I ignored her for at least two months. Then all of a sudden, people all around me started to talk about property. I would meet up with an old friend and bam out of the blue in the middle of the conversation she would say, “have you thought about getting into property?”

“Nah,” I would respond. “It’s too expensive, too much admin. I don’t know, I just haven’t thought about it…” Then I would change the topic quickly to something else because at this point all the invisible pressure was making me more uncomfortable than an elephant in a kennel.

There’s only so much talk you can take before something in you gives in, so occasionally I would click onto a property website. I found myself bringing up property in discussions. Then I found emails in my inbox for property alerts someone must have signed up for.

Sigh…then I fell in love.

From the moment that email arrived with its bold text and I opened it to see the words: “Victorian,” “white” and “charm” I knew this was the one. I enquired and on the following Saturday went to the open house. It was exactly what I wanted. Well, to be honest I didn’t know what I wanted but when I saw this, I wanted it. You see, I’m a sucker for old houses.

Wooden floors are the boys with big smiles in my house world. I’m irresistibly drawn to them. The house was situated on a busy but eclectic street about a seven minute drive from my work. It was reasonably priced and when you walked into the large airy sitting room there was a sky-light at the top to let in extra light.

I wondered around dumbfounded, opening the cupboards and staring out the windows. Was it possible I had found my house on the first try?

I may have fallen in love, but unfortunately as it turns out I wasn’t the only one who fell in love. Before I could print out the paper to sign on the dotted line some punk bought my house with cash. I was heartbroken. I felt like the entire world was founded on injustice and every dream I ever had would never materialise. I sulked for two whole days.

Then I realised I had some thing to learn about this whole property thing before I got into it. I called up a property agent friend and asked him for the down low.

Get a feel for the neighbourhood

This is a tough one as nobody wants to spend a fortune on a neighbourhood and get a rotten house. At the same time nobody wants to invest into a “bad” neighbourhood. It’s very hard to know what will happen to a neighbourhood in say 10/5 years, when you want to sell your property.

Take a drive so you can get a feel of what’s going on and what the other streets are like. Look for schools and hospitals nearby as this often insures the neighborhood won’t plummet.

Get your finances together

Apply for a home loan and find out what you can actually afford. You can find loads of great houses out of your budget but where is that going to get any of us? You also don’t want to find the perfect house and then lose it because you still need to apply for loans. Prepare as much as you can.

The extras

People who rent have no idea what to expect as property owners. Find out all about what transfer costs are involved with purchasing the property. Look at what the agent fees are and what utilities you will need to cover. Don’t forget that this time when the geyser stops working it’s your back pocket that is going to fix it.

Don’t rush

Spend time getting to know the market. The first home you see does not (sob) have to be the home you buy. Wait, look around and see what’s out there. A home is a big cost and a big commitment so it’s worth waiting and doing the research.

Good news – I’ve recovered from my set back and I’m back in the hunt. Nothing has topped my perfect home but praying and believing that the right “other perfect” home is out there.

Don’t limit yourself

Fran Thring

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October 12, 2016

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All my life I saw myself as a creative person, not a sporty person. I did school sports because I was forced to and Athletics Day was my 2nd worst day in the school year – Swimming was the 1st.

I also saw myself as someone quiet and unable to lead as a result of this. I held onto these beliefs and I honestly believed that they were truth.

The actual truth was: I never tried to be good at sport and when I was given an environment in which I felt comfortable I was able to be a great leader. At some point in my journey I had to confront those things which I had held onto: are they true? Really? Or was I just convinced they were true?

When we were growing up we had horses. We would keep the horses in the same field as the cows and these fields had electric fences. Later, when we moved the horses, we found that they would not go near the new fences even though these were not electric. It was as if the horses had created an invisible barrier in their minds.

A lot of the time we go through life and collect limiting beliefs which become barriers to our potential.

Limiting beliefs about ourselves

So often something happens in our lives – someone says something, we don’t do well at a first attempt of something new, or we have a negative experience and this creates a belief in our head. We often believe “I’ll never be able to be regular at gym”, or “I’ll never be able to afford that”, or “I keep messing up all my relationships”. Truth is anyone can be regular at gym and get better. Everyone is able to be good with finances if they keep working at it. And everyone can have good relationships in their life. People love to use age as a limiting belief – oh, I’m too young or oh, I’m too old.

Mostly these are excuses we’re offering because we don’t really want to take the risk or have to tap into courage or confront a situation we don’t want to confront.

Limiting beliefs about others

Have you ever had someone assume that you can’t do something? It’s horrible. Or assume that you will behave in a negative way because they have put you into a “block”. We make assumptions about what people can and can’t do all the time based on race, background or gender. “She’ll be bad at swimming, black people can’t swim”. Or, “all women are overly emotional”. “I have never seen a girl from this area of town do that”. People are individuals. Life is tough, why not encourage each other and remove the limiting beliefs that are attached to stereotypes?

Belief about the world

It will never get better. People often look at the bad stuff in the world and their country and say: “it will never get better.” You don’t know that. Plus your attitude isn’t helping anything get better. Sometimes people say things like: the publishing industry is dead or there are no jobs or all jobs are office jobs. This is not true! How you perceive the world will affect how you do business and how hard you go for things? Don’t focus on the beliefs that say you can’t, rather those that say you can.

” The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. ” – Proverbs 18-21

This means if you are positive, you see good things in life. If you are not, bad things. It’s good to ask ourselves the question: “What beliefs do I have that are limiting my ability to move forward? Is the obstacle really out there, or is the belief what’s really keeping me stuck?”

Today, I exercise often and I’m pretty decent at sport. I also lead lots of groups and I really enjoy it. Which shows if I hadn’t questioned those beliefs I would have limited myself.

Becoming an expert – you can!

Fran Thring

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October 7, 2016

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Who would you rather see if you have a health issue: a Professor who has spent years reading books about surgery, or a surgeon who practices his craft everyday? Who would you rather trust to teach your kids; the teacher your friend tells you his kids loved, or the newbie with no recommendations? Who would you select to design your home, the architect with the portfolio of beautiful homes, or the architect who says he can do it but has nothing to show?

We all want to deal with experts in life. We don’t want to pay money for people who do a half job or are inexperienced. We also don’t want to be those people. We don’t want to be someone who messes up on a job, who fumbles their way through a project feeling inexperienced and making lots of errors.

In order to gain respect and to grow in our careers we need to pick an avenue and become an expert.

“Become an expert,” you say? Yes, that’s correct. All this means is put in the time to know your craft well. Put in the research to understand what others in your field are doing and stay up to date. Don’t drift between five different careers never getting anywhere in each of them. Settle, be decisive and build so that you have a tool-set to present to the world.

How do I become an expert?

Reading a few books does not make you an expert, nor does reading an article on Huffington post. Becoming an expert requires strategy and action. Both combined. Oh, and time, of course. A lot of time and practice.

Here are some steps to help you be perceived as an expert in your field.

1. Own it: Everyone is good at something. The problem is often we minimise our talents and gifts and believe we are being humble. That’s not true at all. The key to career success is to discover your gifts and step into it. Think about it now, what is your expertise? You aren’t doing the world any favours by keeping this under wraps. Be bold, step out and make use of your potential.

2. Say it and believe it: A lot of times in life we have to say things and believe them before they happen. For example: “I am a nurse.” Or “I am successful.” When you do this you step into the potential hidden in the words and hidden in your heart. Create a website, a business card or a CV – say what you are and believe it.

3. Share it: Your talents and skills are a gift given to you to make the world better, and to contribute. You can contribute in many different ways and share your skills. Write a book, do a speech, create a course, do some mentoring or training programmes. Essentially pass what you know onwards so that others can learn and grow from this too.

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
– Og Mandino

4. Prove it: People don’t want to hear about what you can do, they want evidence of what you can do. Take on projects and use your skills so that you can get outside endorsements. Testimonials, reviews and endorsements are the fuel which makes your career status rise. Don’t be afraid to ask people what they think of your work and how you can do it better.

5. Sell it: The ultimate test of your expertise is if people are willing to pay for it. Nothing establishes your credibility more than products with purchases attached to them.

In summary, becoming an expert is a process, it’s not an overnight event. However if you work hard and keep learning you can, and will, be come an expert. Don’t give up, don’t let anyone talk you down from your aspirations and go for it!

How to say, “heck no” to being perfect

Practical Faith

Fran Thring

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October 4, 2016

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I remember the first time I went to a UK shopping centre and had to buy vegetables. It was like walking into a cyber game. Everything was perfect – the strawberries were the right shade of red and shaped in just the right kind of cone. I could swear the speckled seeds on their ripe scarlet skins were placed at an exact distance from each other. The situation was the same with the tomatoes, the apples, the mangos – all their fresh produce looked…perfect. Of course I paid the exorbitant fee for my perfect fruit and took home a bag to cook my first meal. I was excited. If they looked THAT good, imagine how they would taste!

I chopped up the cucumber, making sure my pieces were exact (when dealing with perfect food you feel the need to not ruin the perfect pattern). I tossed everything into a salad bowl, added some dressing and sat down with my house mate to enjoy my salad.

Only, I didn’t enjoy my salad. The food was tasteless. It was as if whoever had grown it had focused so much on the perfect exterior that they had forgotten that good fruit or vegetables should taste good. I was severely disappointed.

When I was growing up there used to be an avocado tree in the garden of my Grandparent’s home. How long it had been there, I have no idea, at least as long as my Grandparents had live there. When I was little one of the most exciting things about my trips to my Grandparents was being able to wonder outside, my little hand snuggly fit into my Grandmother’s, to look at the avocado tree to check if there were any avocados. Most of the time the birds got to them, or alternatively they would fall to the ground and rot, but occasionally we would find one on the branches that was “just right.” Yes, it wasn’t perfect. There were nobbles or holes or the odd strange shape, but those avocados tasted like ice cream – creamy, rich and flavourful.

These two examples remind me something I think we often get wrong in life. We try too hard to be perfect.

Everywhere we look it feels like the world is trying to turn you into something perfect. When you pop online there are make up tutorials to give you the “perfect” skin. There is plastic surgery to give you the “perfect” nose. Social media feeds clog up your brain with images of “perfect” lives. We get ourselves all caught up in looking for the “perfect” job, the “perfect partner” and the “perfect” home.

We miss the real deal: the messy beauty God created us for. We’ve chosen the opaque tomato with no taste over the beautiful ruby-red globe huddled in the creeping climber of a garden. We’ve chosen the apple that lasts for 4 weeks on your fridge shelf over the apple clinging to the limbs of an old tree in a neighbour’s yard.

What if our lives weren’t created to be perfect? What if our lives were meant to be a long messy ensemble of failures and learnings, fallings and pick ups, lessons and embarrassment? What if we said “heck no” to perfect and started being real?

What if we told people about the things we messed up? What if instead of looking for someone “perfect” who matched the list in our head, we looked for someone who would be a good companion through life’s rough seasons? What if we loved people’s crooked noses or quirky ways? What if we saw old people as lovely because of the weight of life experience which they carry in their words? What if, instead of competing to prove we are perfect, we decided to work together? To be one big trying to figure it out, all together?

I think the world has got it wrong. I think that we are so used to “perfect”, that we’ve forgotten how good “real” tastes. Throw away your silly magazines. Delete the Instagram accounts that make you feel like you’ll never meet the mark. Go out side, take a walk, see your imperfect image in the water of a pond and remember God made you imperfect and its OK.

Why I don’t watch the news

Health

Fran Thring

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October 3, 2016

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I don’t watch the news because it depresses me. I know, I know, this take on life is not recommended. But I have to be honest – I care too much about having a positive outlook on the world to fill my mind with horrifying stories (even if they are true).

America recently held its first of three presidential debates. I didn’t watch it, but I read about it. Here are two of the highlight quotes:

“I have much better judgment than she does,” he said. “There’s no question about that. I also have a much better temperament than she has … I have a winning temperament.” (Trump)

“You know, he tried to switch from looks to stamina. But this is a man who has called women pigs, slobs, and dogs, and someone who has said pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers, who has said women don’t deserve equal pay unless they do as good a job as men.” (Clinton)

The whole world is spiralling into depression over the US candidates for this year’s election. Both candidates’ characters are rife with scandal, cover-ups and derogatory comments – I have to agree, it doesn’t look good so I can understand the negativity.

However, no matter the hot topic of the day there are a few things we have to remember when we watch the news.

All news has a negativity bias

Bad news sells. Not only does it sell but it is able to create mass hysteria. Create an “enemy” out there and an entire nation will be fearful towards this group of people. This fear is something which politicians use to further their own agenda. News stations will always report more bad news than good news, so take what they say with a pinch, or three, of salt.

It’s not as bad as they make us believe

I found this website: http://diamandis.com/data recently. Essentially the world is not as bad as we have been led to believe:

The number of annual hours worked continues to fall.

The number of democracies in the world continues to rise.

The number of people enslaved continues to fall.

Violent crime rates continue to fall.

The number of wars continue to decrease.

World life expectancy continues to rise.

Pay and college degrees awarded to women continue to rise.

Don’t believe everything you hear.

News reporting is not always grounded in truth. Often times it is grounded in some truth and leaves out vital information which could change your perspective. Whether or not they admit it, most news stations have an agenda. It could be money, advertising, or political support.

Keep things in perspective

Many, many times we have been told the world was going to end and it hasn’t. People pick up on “end-of-the-world” paranoia very quickly. Just because it feels like the world is going to end, doesn’t mean it is. Keep things in perspective; we have lived through troubled times before. Although I am not denying the violence and desperate situations, we aren’t in the middle of World War 3.

Read more than one source

The best way to find a reliable channel of information to form opinions on, is to read multiple sources with different viewpoints. I often read an article from a few different newspapers to try to establish what really happened.

In summary, I think its safe to say fear is a waste of emotional resources and time. If we let our lives be governed too much by fear, we make small decisions and live less of a life than we could have. I believe in Jesus and believe that we don’t have reason to fear. I believe if we accept Jesus into our lives then we can live above the fear zone, in the faith zone – unafraid of death. And this, my friend, is why I don’t watch the news.

The other side of me

Jesus

Fran Thring

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September 29, 2016

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It’s 5pm on a Friday afternoon. I’ve been doing the same design work for three days. My eyes are burning and my head is full. A lady from MTN phones to offer me data – I’m rude and straightforward with her (poor woman is only doing her job). My boss walks up to my computer: “Can I ask you to change something quickly?” I sigh; I’m focused and I don’t want to be interrupted. I also know that quick is very relative and 5pm is never a good time to start a project. I vaguely attempt to hide my bad attitude. “Okay, I guess…”

Two hours later I get home. Drop my bags in a pile. Barely able to greet my housemates, I walk into my room and lay vertically across my duvet. Whew! My phone rings. It’s my best friend. Her boyfriend has broken up with her and she needs someone to talk to. Thoughts cross my mind. I consider not answering…

I feel bad for not wanting to answer. I feel impatient. All I can think about is my bed. I’m not the best version of myself.

It’s 10am on a Saturday morning. I’ve slept in, read my Bible, had a light breakfast. I’ve done my laundry for the week and the sun is shining – ready for spring. I feel fresh. My mom calls and I talk to her for an hour. I hear about how stressful her week was (she’s a teacher; most weeks are stressful). I drift into the house and watch an episode of New Girl. Towards the end of the series my best friend sends me a message – “Hey babe, are you free?”

“Yup, give me five.” I make a cup of coffee, sit down, and give her a call. One of her bosses at work have been unfair and pulled a class of hers (she’s a fitness instructor). I listen and encourage her.

I feel so good about myself. I rock. I’m awesome. I’m caring and I’m making the world a better place.

All of us have our good and our bad sides. Our good and our bad days. The thing is, we feel bad about ourselves when we have bad days or when we treat people badly. Something inside us knows we can do better. It’s as if we are the self who we are, and then a self who we wish to be, with a large divide between the two.

What does the good me look like?

The good me shows genuine kindness, seeing others as valuable in and of themselves and not for manipulative purposes. It shows gentleness, abandoning itself to the creator. It shows patience, having a deeper concern for God’s plans and ways than our own.

What does the bad me look like?

The bad me is fearful, protective, possessive, manipulative, destructive, self-promoting, indulgent, and distinction-making. It sees people as commodities and purpose as selfish.

When I became a Christian and accepted Jesus into my heart it was as if some inner wall between the who I am self and the who I can be self was removed. A switch was flipped; the world felt “right”.

However, everything didn’t change overnight. I wasn’t now “nice” all the time. I found that although I had a new strength and sense of what I could be, I wasn’t there and that was frustrating.

As Christians we are struggle with the two “mes”. The one me which we are slowly trying to change and the new me which we are working towards. If you feel that way, too, don’t worry – you are normal. The key is to relax and let the Holy Spirit, God’s helper, teach you and change you at his pace. God doesn’t expect you to be perfect overnight. Nor does he see you as some horrifying work in progress. He has a plan for you which he will work out in his own time. Be patient with your two mes, God loves them both.

Love thy neighbour (or try to)

Fran Thring

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September 23, 2016

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I have all the communal living horror stories. At one (scary) time in my life a friend and I were staying with seven people in a house in America while all of us South Africans were trying to figure out accommodation. I kid you not, we had to sleep in a row and step over each other on the way to work. I hated the people that started at 5am.

I shared a single bathroom with 10 people. I’ve shared with 18-year-old South American girls who have never left home before and never picked up a plate for themselves. I’ve lived with insomniacs who watch series all night and sleep all day. This would be fine if it was a house full of other insomniacs – I have no problem sleeping. That is until Game of Thrones fight scenes interrupt my blissful dreams.

I’ve lived in a house in London where we could hear our neighbours screaming at each other until 2am in the morning. I’ve lived in a house where we left for work high every morning because the house next to ours appeared to be operating as an illegal drug store.

Dealing with your neighbours is not always easy – depending on the neighbour, of course. Where I live now I don’t even know my neighbours. They change all the time and we stay a mere metre from each other but don’t know each other’s names – this is frightening.

It feels so much easier to hate your neighbours or ignore them. They aren’t your friends and they are pushed on you by circumstance, not choice. The fact of the matter is that it is important to treat everyone on the planet with dignity and respect – even your neighbour.

Things you shouldn’t do to your neighbours

Leave dodgy things outside the door

Don’t pack up your garbage bag with the half-baked thought that you will take it to the bin when you get a chance and then leave it outside your door for three weeks. It smells. It blocks the passage and there will be bin juice when you pick it up again – yuck!

Party until 3am

Okay, we all know when the party gets pumping none of your friends are going to want to go anywhere which isn’t your fridge. Make them. It’s not fair to make your neighbours live through your friends’ late night jokes and dance moves. Prep everyone in advance, order an Uber, and bribe them out of the door if you have to.

Blast music

There is nothing more satisfying than dancing around your kitchen with your favourite song at full blast. This is fine, unless it’s 1am and your neighbours have a newborn baby who it has taken them three hours to get to sleep. Think before you blast. Midday: yes. Midnight: No.

Borrow things and never give them back

So… everyone RSVPd to Mexican night – oh heck. You own six plates, not 16. #firstworldproblem and potential emergency. Oh wait, no it’s not, Tom next door is a human. He probably has plates. I’ll ask him for his. Tom lends you 10 plates (not the china ones from Grandma but the white ones from Mr Price Home). Give them back. Give them back clean. Give back all 10. Else you are sketchy.

Things you should do to your neighbours

Take over cookies

On the very rare occasion that I make cookies I make them because I really feel like them. But then after half a bucket of cookie dough, three warm cookies and three cold ones, I feel sick. Use this short time frame to be kind to your neighbour. Wrap up the remaining cookies before your body recovers from its sugar coma and give them to your neighbour. You will win and eternal friend and save yourself any further comas. Win, win.

Say hi when you cross paths

I know you rival grumpy when you wake up in the morning. Well, I do. I’m the Wicked Witch of the West. Still, it’s nice to see a smiling face in the lift when you are all squashed together instead of a frown. Be nice to your neighbour; say hi; open the door for their kid.

Get to know security

Last but not least, your security staff are people too. They want someone to talk to. Their job is boring sometimes and they keep you safe. Make the effort to get to know the people who are looking after your wellbeing. If you have extra cookies, feel free to give them to security.

Your neighbour isn’t always your direct neighbour as in Sally next door, but the people around you. You can’t control them, but you can control you, so love them as best you can.

Stand up for yourself!

Fran Thring

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September 21, 2016

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I had a friend in university, let’s call her Ashley. Ashley was tall, blonde, smart, and rich. The boys loved her and she knew it. Ashley viewed the “friends” in her life as means to an end – her end. She loved you when she wanted a group of people to go out with. She loved you when nobody else wanted to sit next to her in lectures; but when roles were reversed Ashley wasn’t interested.

At the end of first year Ashley broke up with her boyfriend and decided I was the friend of choice for rehashing the situation. I was still getting adjusted to university life; I came from a small town and I didn’t realise quite how shallow Ashley was, which made me the ideal ear. I never in my life listened to so much relationships drama. Ashley went on and on and on and in the process I began to feel used. She never asked about me and if I did try and input anything into the conversation she soon shook it off and continued with her train of thought.

Ashley, and many other hard lessons, have taught me the value of being assertive. Assertiveness helps you get the things you need while preserving relationships over the long term.

This idea is even seen in the Bible.

As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. – Matthew 10:12-15

This verse is saying you should not say yes to everything, but you should not say no in a way that is manipulative or mean. I am naturally more quiet, gentle, and patient, so being assertive is a difficult skill for me. Yet, as the years have passed I have grown my ability to be more assertive, and you can too.

Learn to say NO

You can’t stop people from asking you things or expecting things of you. Don’t let your boss ask you to pull off a project at 5pm. You can’t make that girl at work who won’t do her part of the project stop siding it onto your plate – but you can say no. Just like that: No. When you say no you protect yourself. You protect your relationships, resources, and time.

Stay calm

When you are being assertive it is important to remain calm. People will be more likely to respect what you have to say and receive your input if you aren’t throwing things across the room or crying in a heap. Give yourself time to think through the issue and then calmly confront this with the person involved.

Examine your beliefs

What do you believe is the results of saying no? Do you think you may lose a job; lose a friend? Are these beliefs rational? Has it happened before? Most of the time the consequences of a fair conversation with a refusal are not as negative as we like to believe. Run through your beliefs in your head and don’t let them affect your ability to be mature about an issue. Check with a trusted friend if need be.

Don’t apologise or put yourself down when you ask

When people aren’t used to being assertive they often apologise or put themselves down when they make the request. Take the example of your boyfriend expecting dinner every night. You may be approaching the issue like this: “I’m sorry to have to ask you to help me. I know you want to drink beer, but if it’s okay could you maybe help me? I’m so bad at getting everything done.” Instead, you can be upfront about the issue: “I’ve been thinking about our relationship’s dynamic and I would like to let you know that I feel as if you assume I will make you dinner every evening. I don’t have time to do this and I would appreciate support in this area.” The second response is direct and less apologetic.

Own your choice

In order to be assertive we have to learn to put away our passive victim mentality. If you boyfriend expects dinner every night and you don’t like doing it, but you continue to do it without saying anything, you are opting out. If you opt out and don’t own your side of the issue, you can’t feel bad about the negative outcome. Own your choice, your ability to change the situation, and become a problem solver instead of a victim. Stand up for yourself!

Feeling uncomfortable? That’s perfect

Fran Thring

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September 16, 2016

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“How am I ever going to do this?” I’ve thought that thought many times. Many times. And not only in the middle of a legs workout. I remember staring, eyes burning, at my text book at university feeling as if I would never be out on the other side, as if my mind was made of cement, not sponge, and the words and understanding would never be mine. I remember being given a new job at an events company and having to organise a huge event for lots of important people and, let me tell you, I was convinced I would not be able to do it.

Recently, I was on a project with an international team which required so much complexity that the scope was three to five years. How is that even possible, you may ask? Oh, it’s possible. When I started realising what was expected of me I honestly believed without any shadow of doubt that I was going to mess this up and never be employed again in my life.

This horrible feeling, although unpleasant, actually signifies personal growth. After all, there is no room for growth in your comfort zone. But you can rest assured that by pushing yourself through these situations, it’s likely you’ll discover you’re far more capable than you realised.

Here are four of the most common situations that make us feel incredibly uncomfortable and how to overcome them.

1. You have no direction in your career

You are responsible for your career growth. I know it’s far more comfortable to believe that someone is going to arrive at your house with your perfect job packaged in a box and a pack of business cards at the side. This doesn’t usually happen. You find your career direction through trial and error. What is important is that you realise you have choices here – take the reigns. Make some decisions and build your own development plans to reach them. Whatever field you are in, you should try and connect with people in the positions you wish to aspire to. They can make great mentors and provide you with valuable insights to help you move forward. You don’t have to be overwhelmed – if you are diligent and work at this you can end up in a happy place in your career.

2. You are worried your career is too hard

When you are in a position or field that you find really hard it is easy to become overwhelmed and filled with self-doubt. Don’t forget that the people that it looks like this came naturally to have been doing this role for ages. It’s always hard at the beginning when you are learning the skills. Slow down, take each day as it comes, and try to do your best. Remember why you are passionate about this sector and why you got into it in the first place. Don’t give up until you have given it enough time. Many people opt out of something they would be very good at if they persevered.

3. You are concerned because you don’t 100% love your job

Many people feel like they have to love, love, love their job. This isn’t true – no matter what occupation you have there will be things you love more and less. I completely agree that your vocation should line up with your passions, but don’t let this deceive you into thinking you should “drop it like it’s hot.” Even if you reach a mighty CEO position in a highly reputable company, you may still take no joy in reprimanding and firing employees. Going through the blips without backing off is usually what gets you to the place you want to be.

4. Someone criticises your work

Feedback: one of the hardest things on the planet to receive. It’s not easy to hear your work isn’t good, especially when you have worked hard and given it the best you can. Instead of seeing the negative side of this you should see the positive – there is always something to learn from every experience and your entire career does not pivot on one negative review. In fact, if you learn from all the feedback you receive you will be sure to have a great career!

Don’t give up and don’t give in. Don’t listen to the voice that says you can’t. You are more capable than you think you are.

What does ‘true Christianity’ look like?

Faith
Jesus

Fran Thring

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September 14, 2016

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What does ‘true Christianity’ look like?

It’s Singapore and a lady on the side of the street meets a kind stranger. The stranger tells her about Jesus – a man who was also God. There are four spiritual laws, the stranger tells her, and he fills her in on these. All you have to do is pray a prayer to “receive Jesus” and you will be assured a place in heaven, she is told. The lady goes home; at the end of the day she makes an offering to Jesus on her God Shelf, her new God.

In London in the middle of a busy intersection is an old English church. Inside the church is an elder – a seasoned man of the faith. He is glad to be a Christian, he says. Yet, he does not believe in the resurrection or miraculous conception of Christ. Nor in the miracles recorded in the New Testament.

In Rwanda a man is taken to court for murder. Why did you do it, they ask? “He put spirit strings on my baby son,” the man replies. “Please mister, I’m a good man. I belong to Jesus. That other man, he deserved it.”

In China, in a room under a house, a group of Christians meet. They quietly sing songs to Jesus and pray. A man stands up; he is the pastor of the group and yet he has no Bible. He tells them what he remembers of Christianity and they all clap.

These and thousands of other stories can be told across the world.

The Christian faith has grown and expanded across the twentieth century in an unprecedented manner. And yet, for what cost? This seemingly urgent desire to spread the “good news of Christ” across the globe has lead to unhealthy ministry patterns, manipulation, violent coercion, and a misrepresentation of the original message.

In many ways numerical expansion has trumped authentic change. Being a Christian is not answering yes to a prayer which states: “Do you want peace, joy, prosperity, and healing?”

What is the truth about the Christian faith?

Christians have done many things in the name of God which have not represented him or his heart fairly. They have created disasters and pain.

There is no “strategy” for gaining converts to Christ. An encounter with the living God requires an open heart and a move of God’s Spirit. It’s not something which should be taken lightly. It’s not a box you tick when you sign a form. It’s a divine appointment.

Selecting to follow Jesus involves a life of commitment and obedience. Being a Christian means a life of submission to Christ. It’s a life which shows evidence of Christ in every day. It’s not a selfish life, nor is it a complex life.

Being a Christian is about far more than “the prayer.” The prayer is the start of a long life of learning to be like Christ, being involved in healthy Christian community, and changing the way you do things so that they reflect an eternal mindset.

The Christian faith isn’t based on a few select verses but on the complete message of the Bible. In its eternity the Bible speaks of good things and hard things, but ultimately points us to Jesus Christ.

People who call them selves Christians should reflect God’s character. If someone is dishonest or lacks integrity you have every right to question the authenticity of their faith.

To know and follow Christ is to find hope and purpose for your life. It’s walking into a real relationship with the creator of the universe. It’s wonderful, challenging, rewarding, and the only way to live. Don’t let a “Christian salesman” convince you of anything else.

Fran Thring

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