Fran Thring, Author at 1Africa

You are the lost sheep

Fran Thring

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June 29, 2016

I once lost my passport. I guess this wouldn’t have been Armageddon if I hadn’t been two weeks away from a trip to Australia. My flight was booked. My university fees in Australia were paid. I had gone for medical tests. I had gone for finger printing. I had visited the agency in Durban which had sent my passport to Pretoria for my student visa. I found every last document required by the Australians in order to let me to enter the country for a year. And then I lost my passport.

I looked everywhere. My parents, who I was staying with at the time, looked everywhere. We phoned all the places I had been. We traced our steps, and retraced our steps, and went over every conversation and moment the passport had featured in. Nothing. Eventually, out of pure desperation, we decided to try and apply for an emergency passport to get me on that plane. Don’t forget, we now had to apply for a visa on the emergency passport. The process usually takes forever. I had less than two weeks – it couldn’t take forever. Somehow we needed to get Home Affairs to make things happen at triple speed. Quadruple speed. The speed of light. Very, very fast.

To this day I don’t know how we managed to get all the relevant parties to come to the plate. Prayer and begging, I suppose. The day before I was due to get on the 10:30 am flight to Sydney, Australia, my passport arrived via courier. I also found my passport behind my bed at my uncle’s house in Durban. It had slid down the side of the wall and been left underneath the bed. My family has never let me live it down.

Losing something which you value is a horrible and frustrating feeling. Know what I mean? Something in the pit of your stomach heaves and goes “nooooo”. The Bible it tells us this is how Jesus feels about each of us. He tells us the story of a shepherd in a field who loses one of his sheep:

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbours, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.” – Luke 15 1-7

You are the lost sheep

Yes, you! Jesus really does love you. Not because you’re cool. Or because you really aced your last report. Or because your mom and dad love you. But because you are you, and you are valuable. God desperately wants you to come home to the rest of the sheep. He wants to protect you and look after you. He doesn’t want you wandering alone.

Jesus is the shepherd

Do you see how tenderly the shepherd cares for his sheep? He was delighted to have the sheep back. When you return to him, he isn’t angry about all the things you did or the time you were away. He’s simply overjoyed to have you back. Jesus says this: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11).

Don’t forget the lambs

We get so comfortable in our fold we often forget there are other people who need to be rescued. If we have seen God’s goodness, then we should show this to others. We should allow God to use us to reach the lost sheep and bring them home.

There is no way to put a price on a human life, or on a relationship with your maker. Remember you are a most precious thing. God will look to the ends of the earth for you. Even under a bed!

9 bad habits that drive people away

Fran Thring

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June 24, 2016

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No matter who you are, or how lovely your features are, there are things that can make you unattractive. These things can cause you to lose friends. They may be the reason why you got the first and the second date, but not the third. They may be why someone else got the job.

A lot of the time we get frustrated and upset about things not working out in our lives, when if we took a step back and invested into a few honest conversations we would discover we can trace problems. Broken relationships are a product of how we interact with others, and view the world and ourselves.

Here are nine bad habits that are driving away people and opportunities in your life:

1. You are self-absorbed

Do you care more about yourself than anyone else? Do you glaze over and become annoyed when someone else talks and dismiss other people’s opinions? Some people don’t realise they are being self-absorbed, but when nobody wants to spend time with you, this could be why.

2. You care about the outside of a person more than the inside

True beauty comes from the heart and soul. It is not about how many muscles you have, how tall you are, what cool clothes you wear, or how attractive your features are. Do you treat good looking people differently to less good looking people? Do you treat people in accordance with their skin colour or the car they drive? It’s time to stop.

3. You are always in competition

Do you have to always be better than everyone else? Someone who has to constantly have the best and be the best is unable to appreciate qualities in other people. This kind of person loses the ability to be humble. They keep on having to “one-up” on the rest of the world and this drives away their friends.

4. You treat friends as enemies

If instead of rooting for your friends and encouraging them, you pick fights and find issues with people in your life, you will soon lose friends. You are not there to bring down your friends, or try and win over someone’s allegiance by gossiping about someone you know in common. Be nice and be respectful.

5. You are always insecure

We all deal with things, but it is exhausting for people to always affirm and comfort. If you keep on going on about the things about yourself which you don’t like you will annoy your friends. Embrace yourself the way you are and work on the things you don’t like.

6. You are dishonest

If one day you say one thing and the next you say some thing different, then you will get caught out. Nobody likes a liar. Come clean, own up, and don’t try to hide yourself by being dishonest or creating stories you think people want to hear. People want to know the real you.

7. You are rude

If you don’t agree with someone, that’s okay. What’s not okay is being rude or unkind about the situation because of your disagreement. Making a big scene, calling people names, or embarrassing a person in public is never okay.

8. You are unreliable

Are you there when your friend calls for help? Do you expect your friend to be there for you and then disappear when they require a friend? Friendship is a two way street and being reliable is an important quality. Don’t be the person who cancels last minute, or doesn’t respond to text messages.

9. You are always negative

Pessimism is not an attractive quality. Try change your attitude. If you are always seeing the negative or putting people down, you will find that you are not a very happy person. An optimistic attitude is infectious and inspiring.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

Reasons you won’t get into heaven

Jesus

Fran Thring

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June 22, 2016

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I used to think all Christians were judgemental hypocrites. I also thought Christianity was a bunch of rules made to control you and force you to keep your life on the straight and narrow. Christianity looked like a club of unhappy people spending their days in cold church pews saying prayers for the sake of it.

This Christianity did not look attractive to me, and when I saw how these people often treated other people it made me want to run from everything that had the words God or church attached to it.

This was all before I met Christians who really believed in and followed God. Christians to whom faith wasn’t a tick box on their day, or year, but a crazy adventure with the creator of the universe. These Christians had something I could not explain – it was a peace, passion and purpose which I craved. These Christians would pick me up and drop me off when they didn’t have to. They seemed to care about me and what was going on in my life. Their faith seemed to affect their everyday living. It was through these Christians that I came to understand the heart of God.

A lot of the time we get it wrong. I remember learning a song at Sunday school that said, “you can’t get to heaven in a broken car, ’cause a broken car won’t get that far.” Well, we often think we can get to heaven a whole lot of ways and they are incorrect.

1. Being a nice person won’t get you into heaven

Being a nice person and treating people with respect is a good thing. The Bible teaches us to treat others as we would like to be treated. This is not going to get you into heaven though. Even if you visit the old age home and make cookies for your neighbour every Saturday. Even if you smile a lot.

2. Going to church won’t get you into heaven

You can go to church seven times a week and it won’t get you into heaven. The same way as going on Easter or Christmas won’t earn you brownie points with God. People go to church because they love God and they want his presence. If you are going to church to impress people or to feel better about yourself, question your motives.

3. Knowing the Bible won’t get you into heaven

Some people can quote bible verses at you as if they wrote the whole book themselves. There is no point having lots of knowledge about Jesus, but not knowing him yourself. All that knowledge does is make you sound smarter. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to know the Bible – but not if you miss its central message in the process.

4. Never sinning won’t get you into heaven

Everyone does wrong stuff and it doesn’t help to judge people or hold their bad stuff over them because you don’t do it. When we start to play “Oh, look what she did,” or “Did you know that he did this?” we place ourselves in a position of superiority. Trying to be perfect won’t impress God. Be humble and be authentic.

The only thing that will get you into heaven is giving your life to Jesus Christ. This means saying you can’t do it alone. It means letting God change how you do life. It is based on you and God, and nothing else. It’s about your heart, not your actions.

When I met Christians who followed God with all their heart, that was when faith came alive for me. That was when I wanted to do good, help people, read my Bible, and go to church. That’s the real deal. Don’t settle for any broken cars.

How to hold a successful dinner party

Fran Thring

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June 17, 2016

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Sometimes it feels so darn hard to make a difference on the planet, right? I mean there is so much need and it can be overwhelming. You can always give to a cause, but it doesn’t feel like your hard earned cash goes very far. Don’t worry, I have the answer to your problem:

Have a dinner and donation party.

It’s a great way to have fun with your friends, build relationships, and make a difference without breaking the bank and while getting a few other people involved. How do I do it though, you ask? Dinner parties can be stressful, yet there are ways to avoid that.

I’m a seasoned dinner party specialist. My friends know if they get an invite from Fran they will have a good time. In fact, I had a dinner party just last night so you are in good hands. Here are my handy dinner party tips.

1. Pick a good group of people

The best dinner parties happen when there are people who know each other and conversation flows easily. You can add one or two wild cards into the mix but be careful to try match people who you think would naturally be friends.

2. Send out written invites at least a week before the event

People have busy lives and if you let them know well ahead they can plan to make it. In your invite you should always ask people to RSVP if they can come so that you know numbers and so they are held accountable. Make the invite sound fun and include all the details.

3. Invite people when you see them

It’s no good sending out invites and then not following it up with a personalised invite when you see the person. When groups of friends talk about something and people know that there will be others there who they know, they will be more likely to come.

4. Pick a cause

Pick a cause that is close to your heart and one which you know something about. You can always invite along someone who works with the cause and have them chat to your group. It’s nice for your guests to know why they are supporting the cause. When they have heard the story they will be more likely to be generous.

5. Go with what you know

Dinner party night is not the night for trying new recipes. There is enough stress with getting everything ready, making sure your guests are comfortable, and keeping your place kind of clean. Make a tried and tested recipe – you should know how many people it feeds, and you should know that it tastes good.

6. Shop ahead of time

There is nothing worse than being half way through your onion soup to realise you have run out of onions, everyone is about to arrive, and the shops are closed. Check your cupboards, do a giant shop, and then check again.

7. Be flexible

People may drop out last minute or they may RSVP last minute and ask to bring a friend along. Either way make sure you have enough people that a few dropouts don’t matter and you’ve made enough food that a few extras don’t matter.

8. Do as much as you can ahead of time

Cut the veggies the day before. Make the dessert the day before. Honestly, the more you do before the night the better. It will save you extra stress and will mean that you are able to at least sit down with your guests and join the conversation instead of running around pulling oven dishes out and trying to find the salt.

9. Clean as you go

You will die if you have to clean everything at the end. Cleaning as you go is the best way to keep the mess manageable. Also it’s nice for guests to arrive at a clean house. When the night is done, don’t be afraid to rope in some kind souls to help you clear up.

10. Don’t forget the music

Music adds atmosphere and makes everyone feel less awkward with their chatting if there is silence. A good playlist adds the party spirit and you can listen to it every time you want to remember the night.

11. Have fun

Your guests will have fun, if you have fun. Make jokes of anything that goes wrong, smile, and be welcoming. Don’t get overwhelmed. If you find you need a moment, then go to the bathroom, take a break, and remember people can look after themselves.

There you have it – sounds quite easy now doesn’t it? A dinner and a donation… couldn’t be easier. Why not make the world better and have fun as you do it?

Is it me, or was that destiny?

Fran Thring

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June 16, 2016

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Isn’t it funny how sometimes things in your life feel…planned? You bumble along trying to figure things out, meeting people, going to new places, getting into hundreds of thousands of billions of conversations, and then there are those odd occasions where you know if you hadn’t met a certain person your whole life would be different, where things almost feel divinely orchestrated.

I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t know how it all works. Maybe its co-incidence, but maybe its not. Maybe there is some plan and pattern, some great force behind everything on earth. I, for one, believe in God. I believe we aren’t on this planet without reason and that our lives are here to contribute to a greater purpose. I believe this God isn’t some big dude in the sky throwing around stars for kicks, but rather, he is caring, kind, and wise. I think he cares about what is happening in my bumbling, figuring, fumbling mess. He cares about me.

What I’ve always struggled with is this question: If there is this great, powerful God who cares about me and has the ability to impact the plan of my life, then where does God step in and where do I? What is destiny? Does he have a plan which I need to follow? What if I do something wrong and the whole plan goes backwards? What then?

I’ve done some research, read a few books and listened to some speakers to see if other people struggle with this same dilemma: does God have a plan and how do I know what it is? I’ve come to a few conclusions that seem to fit my life experience. I don’t know, they may change, but this has helped me understand the complexity wrapped up in the whole God-and-me dilemma. Hope it helps you.

I have choices

God may be involved in my life but he has given me the ability to “choose my own adventure”. I have this thing called choice which means I can steer my life in different directions. Good choices generally mean I navigate my life well, and poor ones mean I may end up in a lot of unnecessary pain and hurt.

Learn wisdom

Wisdom is the ability to know how to deal with situations. It’s the practical application of the right knowledge at the right time. God has given us all wisdom and gives us many opportunities to learn more wisdom. He sends people into our lives who has been through what we have been through so that we can learn from them. When you have wisdom you know what is a good choice in a specific set of circumstances.

What do I want?

Life is a gift. How much you open is largely due to your circumstances and your choice. God wants you to have a good life. He wants you to open as much of the gift as you can, and he will help you. Many people don’t go for it or make the most of life. They sit idly on the sides instead of tearing off the wrapping paper.

God wants your heart

What matters the most to God isn’t what career you chose to do or what country you stay in – it’s your heart. God wants your heart. He wants your love, obedience, and affection. He wants to include you in his greater plan. He wants relationship with you. When you have relationship with God he can teach you his ways.

Trust God

No matter how many good choices we make, life is still unpredictable. Life is not something you can apply a formula to and see results. There are areas and things in life where we are going to have to trust the greater plan. If you believe in God you are going to have to trust that he cares for you and has your best in mind.

Let God change you

As you give you life to Christ and start on a journey of trust you will find you are changed. How you see things changes and your heart towards people changes. When this happens you automatically move yourself into a realm where you are closer to the perfect plan for your life. When you let God change you, you will find that a sense of contentment and peace will be with you.

I’ve come to realise I don’t need to worry so much about what the plan is and how to find it. I’ve found all I need to worry about is making the best choice I can, trusting God and letting things unfold.

Say No to FOMO

Fran Thring

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June 10, 2016

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“No ways, I so bummed I couldn’t make it. I saw the Facebook photos and it looked ama-zing!”

How many conversations have you had with something like this inserted into the middle? Quite a few, I’d bet. In a survey done on this sometimes all-consuming feeling that you’re missing out, or that your friends are doing something or are in possession of something better than you, three quarters of young adults questioned admitted they have felt this way.

That’s right, FOMO is a real thing, people. Fear of missing out. It’s what happens when you’re sick and you can’t go to Nolu’s 21st, or when you need to stay at home to look after the kids and your friends go to the soccer match, or you don’t have the cash to go to the concert everyone else is going to.

FOMO isn’t healthy. It makes you feel bad. It makes you focus on everything you are missing out on, and drowns you in your self-made pool of sadness. Yuck. No, thanks.

So how do we avoid FOMO in our life and get rid of that thought that says, “You’re missing out”? How do we focus our attention so that we appreciate the real world and don’t turn to Facebook (which is only going to make us feel worse)?

FOMO comes from discontentment

Would you feel so bad about missing out if you really were content with your life? I don’t think so. Would the party you missed plague you so much if you had a full, inspiring, and fulfilling life? I doubt it. Your life is your responsibility and you should take stock of how happy and fulfilled you are. If you are feeling empty, try to assess things and ask yourself why.

Do you lack good friendships?

Is your work unfulfilling?

Are health issues holding you back?

Is your life balanced?

Have you considered the spiritual side of your life and thought about what your purpose on the planet is?

It’s your life, manage it

How great your life is, is up to you. You don’t need lots of money to have a great life. What you need are good people, purpose, work to do, and enough to meet your needs. Your life is like a big pay check handed to you at the beginning of each day. How you spend it will impact your happiness, contentment, and whether or not you have future investments to enjoy. Manage your life. Make decisions about how you will spend each day. Don’t let life tell you how to use your time; you decide how your time will be used. If you have a healthy idea of what you want to do with your time, then when you have to say no to invitations and miss out, its okay. If you have decided to spend less time with friends and focus on your work then you will be able to accept that you won’t be able to attend every event, and that’s okay.

Don’t believe the lie

It may sound all well and good to manage your life but when you say no and scroll through Facebook and see everyone else having fun, you don’t feel so great. This happens even when you didn’t have an event you missed – scrolling through Facebook and comparing your life to everyone else out there is a recipe for disaster. Facebook is a snapshot of people’s lives. None of the pain, confusion, or broken relationships are up on Facebook. None of the long hours of crying babies are seen in their cute baby pictures. Use Facebook but don’t let yourself be fooled into believing everyone else’s lives are so much better.

At the core of FOMO is a cake of gratitude with an icing of envy. FOMO makes you dismiss the awesome things God has given you or you have worked hard for and replace them with the illusion of something else. FOMO is not okay, friend. Don’t let it win. FOMO will try to steal your real life by making you want someone else’s. The Facebook photos may look ama-zing, but kicking butt at your own life is far, far, far more ama-zing.

Public speaking: have no fear!

Fran Thring

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June 3, 2016

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You know the moment: your boss tells you “I need a presentation, Monday, to the business – here’s the topic.” Your heart moves into 5th gear, you start sweating, and you stammer in response: “uh, uh Monday? You mean this Monday? Okay…”

Fear of public speaking is one of the most common fears around the globe. Public speaking beats snakes (who can kill you), sharks (who can kill you), small spaces, heights, and spiders as the ultimate fear. Kids at schools hate orals more than three-hour exams. There is something very intimidating about standing in a room with a sea of people looking and listening to you. For many of us, public speaking does not come easily.

Thing is, public speaking is something you are probably going to have to do at some point in your life – whether you are holding a dinner, giving a speech for a friend, or presenting something new for work, you are going to need to hold your own in front of the crowd.

Some people are naturally gifted public speakers, but regardless of whether this is a natural gifting or not, we can all learn to give an adequate speech no matter what our personality may be. Here are a few things to remember:

1. Have a positive attitude

If you spend hours thinking negatively about your presentation it will affect your body language and confidence on the day. Remember, there is a reason why you have been asked to do this and the audience wishes to hear what you have to say. Monitor your self-talk and believe in yourself; it will make a huge difference to the presentation and how you feel about it.

2. Prepare

Write your speech before, prepare an outline that you can reference on the day, and do the research to find out about your audience. Say your speech in front of a mirror or record it over a microphone. If you do this you will be able to hear your own errors and learn from them.

3. Be okay with silence

It’s okay to take a moment and gather your thoughts when you are speaking. If you don’t do this you may talk a lot and too fast. Taking a moment’s break lets your points sink in and helps to keep you calm.

4. Pay attention to your speech patterns

Is there a certain word that you keep on saying? Do you adjust your glasses or crack your knuckles? Even if you are talking with a friend on the phone there will be speech patterns which you will be able to see and may wish to change. Be aware of these and work on improving them.

5. Dress for success

Wear something you feel comfortable and confident in. Don’t wear an old T shirt as you wish to appear professional but don’t wear high heels which make you fall over. Feeling good is important as it will make you appear more confident and collected.

6. Introduce yourself

The first few moments of a speech are as much for the audience as they are for you. This is your time to ease yourself into the presentation. Tell the audience a joke to warm up the environment or a fun anecdote. You may also want to give them an outline of what they will be listening to so that they are aware of the flow and can pay attention.

7. Use eye contact and good body language

Look your audience in the eyes. Don’t be afraid to use your hands and facial expressions to add life and interest to your topic. Walk – you don’t have to stick behind a podium. Make sure you smile as this will make you appear friendly and inviting. Use your voice – speak clearly and loudly.

8. Have fun

Passion and fun are the most infectious attributes to a person’s presentation. If you enjoy yourself, chances are your audience will also enjoy themselves.

Perhaps now you have read this, that next presentation won’t leave you quivering and shaking. Believe in yourself. Be bold and brave. Smash it out the park!

What is grace?

Fran Thring

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June 1, 2016

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“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind, but now I see.”

I remember singing that song as a child. I was at primary school in our cold school hall, a line of us in our checkered red and white uniforms, struggling with the high notes. I didn’t understand it, but even then something about it struck me as beautiful.

Years later, as an adult, I first began to understand the world altering thing we call grace. Grace is difficult to explain – perhaps it is best told as a story. This story tells of a man and a bishop. The man was a hardened criminal. He had been placed in jail for stealing bread and had served 19 years for his crime. In the 19 years, he had proved unbeatable in a fist fight. Upon earning his release he set out to find shelter and make a life for himself. Nobody would take in an ex convict. Eventually an old bishop let him stay in the church for the night. During the night, instead of sleeping, the man went through the house and took some of the bishop’s family silver.

The next morning three policemen knocked on the bishop’s door. “We have found this man, and we believe he has your silver!” they said. “We are ready to put him back into the jail where he belongs, and this time for life.”

The bishop responded in a way that no one expected, especially the man. “Here you are!” the bishop said. “I have been looking for you. Did you forget to take the candlesticks? I gave you those too.” The bishop went and fetched his candlesticks for the man. He turned to the police men: “You may let him go. I have given the man these things.”

Grace is God’s unconditional love toward a person who does not deserve it. Grace is wonderfully, surprisingly, delightfully not fair. Grace is the love of God shown to the unlovely; the peace of God given to the restless; the unmerited favour of God.

I always thought Christianity was about being good. So many people do. I thought it meant I couldn’t do things other people were doing. I thought it meant if I had too many drinks or smoked, or went out to a club, I would be judged by God and judged by other Christians.

Often, we have this picture of a God whose arms are crossed while He looks at us with disappointment. Or we think of Him like a father who is critical and who only cares about our performance. Perhaps we see him as a man with a book in heaven tallying all our wrongs.

Grace is not a currency we carry around in our pockets, and every time we do something wrong, God takes a payment until there is nothing left. It doesn’t work like that. Grace is unlimited to us. We can always come back to God, always turn to him for comfort and guidance. We always know that he will look after us.

This is not what it’s about. Christianity, at its core, is about grace. It’s about an extravagant love which wraps you up, supports you, tells you someone cares, and gives you strength for your journey. The story of grace is Jesus Christ paying the cost for us, not so we should be afraid of breaking rules, but so that we may experience love.

It’s one thing to know about grace, but another thing to experience it. When I experienced grace for myself it became more than a song and more than an idea. It became the beginning of a relationship between me and the God in heaven who loves me more than anything. I was blind, but now I see.

6 signs that you need to slow down

Fran Thring

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May 27, 2016

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I like to work hard. I like to push boundaries and see if I can do more. I don’t like backing out of things and I avoid listening to the voice in the back of my head when it says “stop.” I’ve usually drown that voice out with an equally assertive cry of “push through!”

Every so often, as a result of working too hard, I have become burned out. If you have ever experienced this you will know that it’s far from fun. I’m a mess. I want to cry and at the same time I’m irritated. Why didn’t he call? Why can’t my housemates take down the bin? Why do I have to work? I feel exhausted to my core. Picking up the TV remote is difficult, being nice to people is difficult, making my bed or removing my pyjamas is very, very difficult. I’m a fraction of the person I am when I am well. My mind is foggy and instead of anything being enjoyable it has now become a chore.

I don’t want to be that person. In business and life today there is a dangerous need to seem busy. We don’t want to be the slacker. We don’t want people to think we’re lazy or the kind who opt out in a challenge. Everyone has to work. Working is enjoyable and it’s a healthy part of life. Overworking, however, has a negative effect on your life and health. A healthy work-life balance is key to your personal happiness.

You may have to slow down if you see these signs:

Health Problems

This is obvious. If you are eating too much or not eating enough; if you are struggling with depression; if you keep having physical pain, the cause could be your unbalanced lifestyle. If you do not have time to exercise and prepare healthy meals you need to shift some things in your schedule.

Cognitive problems

If your brain feels like a ball of candy floss, its time to reconsider things. Do you forget people’s names, business meetings, or your wife’s birthday? Cognitive problems can often be a byproduct of too much stress and too much to think about.

Poor relationships

Have you forgotten what grade your children are in? Do you have somebody who knows your everyday stuff? Are you able to give and input into other people’s lives? Good relationships are crucial to your overall wellbeing. Don’t shunt relationships down on your priority list because they don’t have a pdf attached to them.

You bring work home

Occasionally we have big projects that are more demanding than usual and we do have to do extra work. This should not be your norm. When you are home, your home life is your number one. Don’t come home and bring work with you.

You always feel tired

Does the last year feel like 10 years? Does it take you ages to get up in the morning? Are you addicted to coffee or energy drinks? These are all signs that you are too tired. We all need to get enough sleep to be functional people. Running on the raw edge for too long puts lots of strain on your health.

You are negative

The side effect of too much work is a lot of negative thoughts. Do you hate what you used to love? Are you cynical and sarcastic about everything? If you come home and all you can do is moan about everything either you need to check your attitude or adjust your lifestyle so you are able to do things which make you happy.

Working overtime seems normal but it shouldn’t be. You were not created to be a root or a human machine. Be disciplined about what you let into you life and how much. Work different, not harder.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” – Colossians 3:23

How to be rich without a huge bank balance

Fran Thring

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May 25, 2016

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How to be rich without a huge bank balance

I recently sat down for a coffee with a guy friend new to town. We were relatively new friends and we had a lot to talk about. I asked him what made him move to Cape Town.

“I couldn’t live for money anymore,” was his response.

“Oh,” I replied. “What made you change your mind?”

“I had a quarter-life crisis and I realised that all I was doing was working and my life had become a blur I barely felt in control of.”

So many people go about life seeking money. In a way, I kind of understand it. When I was growing up my parents had a lot less money than many of the families around us. I remember going to other people’s houses and watching cable TV on a huge television and then swimming in the pool. We didn’t have these things, and I often felt like my friends wouldn’t want to visit my home. I remember attending extravagant dinner parties with round after round of drinks, knowing as I sat there that my mom deliberated when she bought ice cream for our once a week treat.

As a teenager I didn’t understand the value of things which really matter. I didn’t realise that in actual fact, I was richer than most of the kids in my grade. My parents were happily married and I didn’t have to navigate a divorce. I learned discipline. We went for walks in the evenings or read books. We had conversations.

I’ve since learned that money may buy you things that make you happy, but happiness from within is what money can’t buy.

How to be rich without a huge bank account:

Accept yourself

An essential part of happiness is learning to be content. You have to learn to be content with much in life, and content with little. As we go through life we don’t know what will happen to us. You may lose all your money or you may get lots of money. Either way, if your happiness is contingent on this you will be in a lot of trouble.

Get creative

Strong people aren’t forged out of ease and comfort. Strong people of character are formed out of tough times. Some of the most creative ideas have come to light because people were in situations where they had to make something happen. It’s so easy to buy a cheap meal; it’s a lot more difficult to meal plan, budget shop, and prepare something yourself. Let your difficulties cause you to innovate.

Do what you love

Eight hours is a lot of time. If you spend eight hours every day doing something you hate you will find it difficult to be a happy person. Do what you love and money will matter a lot less. Passion has a way of fuelling you beyond financial reward. Ironically, they often find that those who do what they love end up making more in the long run simply because they love their craft.

Build relationships

People are what matter. Ask someone on their dying bed what gave their life value and nobody says money. They say people. People turn our worlds from grey to colour. They add dimension, complexity, they demand us to grow and they speak to our hearts. Build good relationships with good people. Treat them with respect, kindness, gratitude, and humility. Smile and go the extra mile. When you have loads of great people in your life, even if you are dirt poor you will feel richer than any oil sheik.

The Bible says: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have. God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'” – Hebrews 13:5.

Even when we feel like there is nowhere to turn, nothing in the bank account, and our lives are a mess, we can remember God promised he will never leave.

Fran Thring

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