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Fran Thring

Improve your creative confidence.

Fran Thring
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Improve your creative confidence.

Every time I hand over a project a part of me internally squirms. What if nobody likes it? What if it’s really bad, meaning I am actually really bad and now everyone will know instead of it being a secret. Hands sweating, mind rationalising I send my line manager a link. “Hi, project is up online, you can check it out.” ENTER.

And all I want to do is explain away every mistake I’ve made. I want to say, “Oh, that blue wasn’t good. Well I figured they wanted something darker. Oh, you don’t think I should have done that? I wasn’t going to, then I changed my mind.” It’s a dark and dangerous game, but mostly it’s a vulnerability game. Constant insecurity about your work can cause creative paralysis and make it difficult to remain motivated.

I have to try. I have to put myself out there and I have to be confident about what I deliver. It’s not easy as anyone doing something  creative knows. Unfortunately there is no quick fix for developing confidence and purpose in your work. There are a few exercises that can help to get you on the right path though.

Learn a skill outside of your comfort zone

If you’re a designer, try carpentry. If you are a painter, try cooking. So many times we become stuck in a rut of what we are doing for our everyday that we forget to relax and enjoy just being creative.

Stepping outside of your creative zone and trying a new skill can have a positive impact on your confidence. You never know, some of your passion from the one area may transfer to the other. Trying something new always helps you to come up with fresh ideas and fresh perspectives.
Challenge yourself: Do an online tutorial course on something you are passionate about and see where it leads.

Checklists

Checklists are just another way of making goals, lots of lists checked off lead to a successful end product. Nemko wrote in Psychology Today: “Knowing you’ll remember everything will free-up the brain space to use your creativity…safely.”

Even though checklists feel like a bore – more things to get done –  they actually make you feel good about yourself when you tick off items and accomplish tasks. This helps your confidence and it helps you make sure you do the job throughly and don’t forget anything.

Add Rewards

A day can seem very long without a lunch break. A task, especially if you don’t enjoy it, can seem very, very long. Give yourself rewards. I like to say if I work on something until it is done then I can do something I enjoy more. Or, alternatively I can get up and have that cup of coffee and slice of carrot cake.

Creating a reward system locks your attention on a task and creates an environment conducive to focus.

Create a flexible work process

Work can feel very unstructured if you are anything like me. I throw myself in and do what I feel like. There is no process and there is definitely not enough automation. Creating a process can make sure that your creative projects are more methodical and less hit and miss.

If we mess up or feel “blocked” then we can always fall back on our process.

Challenge Yourself: Build a daily creative practice and keep a record of everything you do each day.

Build Good Habits

When you eat well, choose to keep a positive attitude, exercise and spend time with quality people you are adding good habits to your life.

Good habits make for a happy, healthy and balanced life. Small habits can add structure and intention to your day. Read your Bible and learn what God has to say about who you are; as a consequence your confidence, peace and sense of worth will increase.

In summary, I reckon it would be fair to say we all struggle with creative confidence in some way. Don’t let the struggle get you down. Learn quick and work hard, you’ll be fine my creative friends.

How to say NO at work

Fran Thring
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How to say NO at work

Hello there overachiever. If you clicked on this link, I would bet that you are an avid overachiever. I can do it all. I can do everything. I want my boss to see what a hard worker I am. I want to climb the ladder. Yes, yes, yes, work hard, work longer, work more efficiently.

Too much of this and you end up taking on too much. There IS a limit on how much you can do.

What does this mean?

This means saying, No in a smart way.

Be honest with yourself

Our last resort when we are overworked and over-exhausted is saying NO.  Yet there comes a point when we need to be honest with ourselves and own up to how we are feeling. If you are genuinely overwhelmed by everything and feel like you simply don’t have capacity your performance will start slipping. Details will slip through the cracks, you won’t be prepared for the meeting, crucial tasks will be overlooked and you’ll end up doing the job half as well as you would have, if you had the time. At this point, if you don’t speak up you mess something up and you will look far more incompetent than if you had just said No in the first place.

Assess the Task

Sometimes when you are new at a job, anything will overwhelm you and you need to work through this. Other times you need to know when you are out of your depths and the project requires more experience. If the potential answers to a task you have are within your reach, don’t say No until you have done the research and pushed down the door. If you have done this, you have assessed what is needed to get the job done well and you don’t have the skills or time resources then you need to start thinking of ways to say No.

Suggest an alternative

Maybe there is someone in your building who can help you get the job done? Maybe someone is bored or really good at the thing you are doing and you can draw on their strength. Always phrase anything like this correctly, you don’t want to look like you are palming all your work off on your colleagues. Always phrase this as a suggestion rather than an absolute.

Rather than saying an outright No, perhaps the best option is to ask for the additional time you need and see if the deadline can be stretched.

Prioritize

Ask what is key priority? This is a sneaky way of getting your boss to realise how much you have going on and he may offer up some new deadlines in the process. Sometimes you may need to point out that you can’t have everything on your plate due for the same day.

Break it down

Everything becomes more manageable when you break it down. Doing this helps you understand the task better and what is required to make it a success. It also helps you to say, “hey I can’t get everything done but I can do this.” When you break something down you tend to see the details that are required and are hidden in the whole. Details are important and show your boss that you have completed something thoroughly and thought it through.

Learning to manage your schedule, tasks and deadlines is an important life skill. If you want to do well at your career you are going to need to learn this and learn when to say No. Just remember a few No’s are not the end of your career and you are able to disappoint people when it is something important. Remember doing something well is better than doing it quickly. Be an overachiever, but do it with wisdom.

Almost Relationships

Fran Thring
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Almost Relationships

About a year ago I met this guy who peaked my interest. He was from a different city (Johannesburg to be exact) and into fitness. Usually I walk away from this combination faster than if it was a guy on the side of the street trying to sell replica sunglasses and other fake designer items. But I didn’t because there was something about him which interested me. He was in finance but didn’t fit the “finance model”. He was interested in philosophy, travel and people. He was a great communicator and we could text for hours about dumb things and clever things. There was buckets of chemistry and loads of compatibility too.

Here is the sad part of the story. We only ever went on one date. Yes, one. This boy and I had what I call an “almost relationship.” You feel like you are in a relationship. You do the things that someone would do in a relationship. You like him. You invest time, emotions and thought into the whole deal. But it doesn’t become anything.

A series of Whys

And that’s the thing about almost relationships they leave you with a backlog of Whys? Why did he invest so much into me if the whole thing wasn’t going anywhere? Why didn’t he want to hang out again? Why did I think it would go somewhere? Why didn’t I see the signs? What did I do wrong? Was it the timing? Or was he a coward or was someone afraid of ruining the friendship? Why would someone leave something so alive with chemistry? Why, why, why didn’t it turn into a real relationship?

A slow wave of “oh no’s”

We tell ourselves to be ok. We tell ourselves to deal, it wasn’t anything real after all, but the reality of an almost relationship is that they take a while to move on from. Maybe it’s because there never was anything concrete so it’s hard to know when the NO is a NO. Maybe it’s that you don’t realise how much you really wanted it to work until it’s gone.

Ugly, but beautiful

Almost relationships are ugly. They are the sad reminder of not this time. They are the dream of something beautiful and hopeful slowly fading. And yet perhaps we should choose to believe that either they didn’t work for a reason and we’re better off apart or there was a lesson in the experience which we can wrap up in our mind and unwrap the next time something good comes along.

There’s always next time

Almost relationships happen to everyone at some time and you do have to just get over it. But get over it in a good way where you don’t end up bitter and twisted or you don’t question your value. You can move on from an almost relationship and try again.

The first lesson is: be careful about who you invest your time and effort into. Of course we all have to invest into someone to get to know them, but too much investment either too soon, or without anything concrete being handed your way is never a good idea. Choose the decent ones who treat you well. Choose the people with integrity and kindness.

The second lesson is if you really feel strongly about something do what it takes to make sure it doesn’t become an almost relationship. Communicate clearly about what you want, communicate clearly about any problems and be willing to listen.

The third lesson is that if you don’t get into some almost relationships you will never get into any actual ones. We all have to take risks and have to try things in the hope of something else. It’s worth it in the end, for the real thing.

Catch flights and faith, not feelings.

Fran Thring
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Catch flights and faith, not feelings.

I went to America over the Christmas vacation for three whole weeks. I spent one in NYC for work. I wondered along the dirty subway, talked to old Jewish women who thought I was lying when I said I was African and traipsed myself and my heavy down jacket into coffee shops loaded with freshly cooked bagels and lightning fast wi-fi.

Then I went across to visit my best friend in a beautiful place where two cities became one, called the Twin Cities, Minnesota. It’s close to the border of Canada, as cold as cold could possibly be and very first world. On the day I arrived they had the coldest day in December in 20 years. Yup, if you walked outside you could get frost bite.

We watched Christmas movies, and snuggled by the fire with steaming hot chocolate. We took walks through the streets with Christmas lights adorning the stores and carols coming out of every speaker. I ate turkey, and chocolate ginger cookies, and walnuts and all the good things. It was a holiday and it was an adventure.

On the way back my flight stopped over in Istanbul, Turkey and I went out for the afternoon on a tour of the city. I was barely a human I was so jet lagged but I made friends with some hilarious and kind people from India and for one day we pretended we had known each other all of our life. We ran around historical monuments, ordered small cups of turkish coffee, took photos and compared lives. It reminded me of a time in my life when my occupation was essentially “traveller” and my friend group spanned 5 continents.

I loved being able to travel again. The thrill of it, the unexpected adventures and the new perspectives which are hidden in each flight ticket and new destination. If I look back at my year I can see how many times I got caught up in all my feelings. My feelings of frustration with boys, and dates which went badly and the seemingly impossible task of trying to find someone genuine, fun and caring to share your life with.

It’s a new year and again I’m presented with the overwhelming feeling which comes with the unseen. The unseen challenges and the unseen opportunities this year will hold. I don’t quite know yet but like most of us, I hope it’s a good one. We always pray and believe for something better, growth, establishment and fulfilment of dreams, but only when it is over can we look back and evaluate the highs, lows, and laughs.

It’s a new year and again I have to choose to have faith in God and a good plan. I’m not someone who believes your every step is placed in stone. I just know that God holds it, this life of mine, loosely yes, and with a great deal of care, yes, but he does hold it. In church they often say, “he holds you in the palm of his hand.” I can picture me,  seated in a GIANT hand. Safe at last.

This year I want to say to you, chose flights and chose faith, NOT feelings. Life is big, bad and bold. It’s not easy for anyone and it’s not worth getting caught up on the ‘Nos’ and the disappointments. Stop thinking that your whole being is about finding a partner and instead go explore the world. See the children playing in the gutter in India. Met the elderly woman in London whose family never visits her. See the crashing waters of Victoria Falls and the snowy caps of the Austrian Alps and realise there is so much to see and so much to discover.

Don’t close your heart and shut tight your eyes to the God who made these things. Don’t start this new year in turmoil and heartache, but instead choose faith. Get up in the morning and declare the promises. Lay your head to rest and know that the maker of the stars holds plans for you. Don’t worry as much as you did. Catch flights and faith, not feelings.

How to figure out your calling.

Fran Thring
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How to figure out your calling.

I remember looking at Universities, Colleges, and option upon option when I was in High School, more confused than Alice in Wonderland. What would I chose. How did I figure out what was the right decision. I remember leaving University years later and still feeling the same dread about what to do with my life. Turns out, I’m not the only one with this dilemma.

How to discern your calling

A lot of people get confused and worked up about the whole calling thing. They think they HAVE TO hear the audible voice of God or that calling is something mystical. I don’t think so. I think you have a choice in the matter. I think God has created you with creativity and with wisdom. As well as the ability to learn and grow through every experience you have.

Regardless, I think this framework I’m going to share is really practical and helpful to assist you with making these decisions. The framework has 3 components and where these components converge is the “Swwwwweeet spot.” Write the components down and then set aside some time to think about it. Ask a good friend and get perspectives that aren’t your own. If you find you become excited about the idea and opportunity that all this presents then you are on the right track.

Ready? Let’s start.

Passion

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both.”
James Michener

What do you love doing? What doesn’t feel like work? What makes you wake up in the morning and get out of bed when you don’t want to? What do you day-dream about? What do you love learning about?

Here’s the killer: What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?

But, passion isn’t everything. For example, I love music but I can’t sing in key, because of this I’m thinking I probably wouldn’t make music my career.

Proficiency

Are you any good at it? See, I wasn’t good at singing so it wasn’t a great choice for me. Are you proud of work you have done in this area? What makes you feel a sense of accomplishment, that fuzzy-rate-yo-self because you know you owned it kind of thing? Where have you got awards? It could be anything. It doesn’t have to be a practical skill, it could be a relational one. Like being caring.

Can’t think of anything? Psshhhh, ask a few of your friends and they will tell you. Often other people see the strengths we can’t.

Sometimes we are good at quite a few things, but what matters is the things that you are good at and passionate about.

Profitability

Is there a market for your skill? Can you make a living out of it? Don’t feel guilty for charging for your services and don’t feel guilty for caring about a paycheck. We all need to be practical. All the passion and skill in the world won’t feed your family or pay for the roof over your head or your petrol for your car.

Without a market you have a hobby.

So where these three things meet is really your “CALLING”. If you can find something here then it is most likely to stick. Who ever wanted to change callings every 2 months? – not me! I would encourage you, don’t settle for something that is less than your calling. God made you unique, you were made to contribute something special and have an impact on the world so don’t play yourself short.

Drama Drama: How to deal with a drama queen/king

Fran Thring
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Drama Drama: How to deal with a drama queen/king

Drama Alert! ‘‘Why would a grown woman thrive off drama?’’

That’s the question Nicki Minaj posed to the writer Vanessa Grigoriadis shortly before she threw her out of the hotel room. On a side notes: Did you know Nicki Minaj demands buckets of spicy fried chicken, a gallon of lemonade and two dozen pink or white roses in her room. She also loves candles, but only ones that smell like baked goods.

I’m not convinced she’s drama free, but all the same her question is valid, a grown woman should not be a drama hotspot.

Why the drama? Drama is all well and good when it’s on TV and you can watch it from your bed, it’s not so good when it’s someone you know. I’m pretty sure all of us have encountered a drama queen or king from time to time. Someone who thrives on attention. Whose life is a never-ending rollercoaster of fights and love and everything in-between. Someone who over reacts to the smallest thing and has limited space or attention for the things going on in anyone else’s life. Yup, we all know one of those.

And it’s difficult to know how to deal with them, right? They liven up parties and crack the best jokes during staff events. They add colour to a dull day. But their insatiable hunger for attention can mean they destroy relationships and often end up resented for the chaos and selfishness which follows on their brightly coloured coat tails.

How do you deal with a drama queen?

Don’t get involved in the drama

The more you participate in the drama, the more this will encourage the situation. Don’t feed the drama. The person who is creating it probably doesn’t want your feedback anyway. If you don’t agree with them they may become aggressive towards you and angry – it’s just not worth it. If the dramatic person starts up, simply tell her outright that you won’t be putting up with it. Do this firmly without being rude or harsh. Just say: “Listen I know you’re upset, but I really can’t get involved.”

Rather give them the attention and validation they are seeking when they engage in more positive behaviour.

Change the topic

Try and divert attention. Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Do you want to go for lunch, where do you want to go?” This way, you are changing the focus and are not liable for being attacked or getting sucked into the drama.

Create Space

Remove yourself from the situation. Take a walk or go to another room. If you can’t get away then try put some emotional distance between you and the person involved. Say “I wish I could help, but I need a little space right now.”

Remember it is not your job to carry her emotional burdens

You might feel the need to “fix” or help your dramatic friend. You can’t change someone – don’t make it your problem to do so. It’s important to remember to let these kinds of people figure things out on their own and in their own time.

Limit your time

Dealing with a dramatic person can be exhausting, especially if they demand a lot of time, focus and energy. Even if the person is a friend don’t feel bad about setting a time boundary around dealing with his or her problems.

Understand the core of the issue

Understand where this drama could be coming from. Perhaps your friend was passed from parent to parent when they grew up and never felt consistent love and affection. Perhaps they were brought up in a family where you had to be loud to get people to hear you. When you understand where and why the drama is apparent then you have more patience and can try encourage your friend to work through things.

At the end of the day we all have stuff and nobody is prefect, but that doesn’t make this behaviour ok. Keep the drama for day time soap operas and go live your life, like a mature adult.

Dance like nobody’s watching

Fran Thring
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Dance like nobody’s watching

Dance like nobody’s watching

There may be something to that old phrase. In fact if we’re honest most old phrases usually have a good chunky bit of wisdom attached to their origin. Not all the times, by now we all know sticks and stones break your bones and words can do just as much hard. This one however, has some good advice baked into its bones. Here’s the full quote if, like me, you’ve picked up a slice and forgotten the rest:

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,  Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.” ― William W. Purkey.

Purkey was a public school teacher turned Professor Emeritus of Counselor Education at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro.

He knew a thing or two.

Why is it that as we get older we become more boring? And more stressed. Actually, the two come together like fudge and tooth ache. Like beer and a hangover. Like winter and a snotty nose. I think the reason is because we forget how to play. And we down play (see what I did there) the importance of playing.

When we are young and sprightly we play all the time. If you go past a park you see loads of kids just…playing. There isn’t a reason to it and they don’t need to be taught how to do it. They don’t think about the time or the waste – they simply enjoy the moments they have with abandon. But unfortunately somewhere in the journey to adulthood we stop being intentional about having play time in our lives. We see it as unimportant and push it to the bottom of our priority list. We become stressed and boring. Don’t be that person. Be playful. Be fun.

  1. Schedule Playtime

Okay, we know, you’re an adult now with responsibilities but in between the responsibilities you can let yourself off the hook. Schedule playtime and then you won’t feel so bad about it because it is planned in your schedule. Schedule time to take the dog for a walk, put together the scrapbook you’ve always wanted to, build a lego house – I don’t know what works for you, but whatever it is, schedule and make it happen.

2. Bring back game night

So a long, long time ago before cell phones and netflix and supersport reruns there were games. Monopoly, Cluedo, Trivial Pursuit – so many. Why not bring back games night and have some fun together as a family or bunch of friends? Games forge friendships and make you laugh. They take your mind off things and are a whole lot of fun.

3. Take a toy to work

By toy I don’t mean Barbie Doll – relax! I mean bring your guitar, or a rubix cube or scribble pad – something that you find relaxing to do. Something which can take your mind off work for a bit and help you to unwind in those moments in-between meetings.

4. Dance like nobody’s watching

Dancing is the BEST. Crank up the tunes in your car. Turn on your favourite track as you get ready for work. Dance without caring like the quote says. Join Zumba at the gym and jam away. Get the office dancing, get your family dancing. Everyone secretly likes to dance. Well, that’s what I think anyway.

5. Organise a play date

Call up a friend and organise to do something random. Spontaneous. Take a walk around your neighbourhood and toss a coin to decide which direction to take. Or make up some dares and go talk to a stranger or two. Go run in the ocean in the middle of the night with your pyjamas on.

The key point to remember is that play is not a luxury but a necessity if you want to live a healthy, creative, and joyful life. Come on, stop feeling bad about that adult colouring book you want to spend an afternoon with. Eat the coloured icing, break out the karaoke set and let loose – it’s good for you. The Bible actually tells us that on the last day, God rested. If playing and downtime was God’s idea, then we know it’s a good one.

Michelle Obama: The DL

Fran Thring
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Michelle Obama: The DL

“Succes isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” Michelle Obama

There is something about the maturity, wisdom and grace with which Michelle Obama conducts herself that intrigues me. A number of people I’ve spoken to have casually mentioned “Oh, she should run for president next.” Now we’re talking – an African-American Woman president?! I like that idea. Maybe it is next on the table, Ms Obama is more than qualified.

Michelle Obama was born in 1964 in Chicago, Illinois. She was raised in a small bungalow in Chicago’s South Side where she shared a room with her brother Craig. Her father was a city-pump operator and her mother a secretary. According to Michelle they were a close family who played games, shared meals and read together. The two children were raised with an emphasis on education and learned to read by the age of 4. They both skipped the second grade.

As she attended school it soon became clear that Michelle was a gifted student. By the 6th grade she was taking classes in her school’s gifted program and she graduated as class salutatorian (not sure what that is, but I would guess at top of the class).

Then she went off to Princeton to get her Bacholar’s Degree in Sociology – which she did cum laude (very high marks). She went on to study law at Harvard Law School. After law school she met Barack Obama (whoop – cupid’s arrow). At first she didn’t want to date him but then she gave in and they fell in love.

After they dated for 2 years they got married and had 2 children Malia and Sasha.

In 1991, Michelle decided to leave corporate law and pursue a career in public service.

In 1993, she became executive director for the Chicago office of Public Allies, a nonprofit leadership-training program that helped young adults develop skills for future careers in the public sector.

In 1996, Michelle joined the University of Chicago as associate dean of student services, developing the school’s first community-service program.

In May 2005, Michelle was appointed vice president for community and external affairs at the University of Chicago Medical Center, where she continued to work part-time until shortly before Barack was selected as President.

As the 44th first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama focused on things like the support of military families, helping working women balance career and family and encouraging national service. During the first year of the Obama presidency, Michelle and her husband volunteered at homeless shelters and soup kitchens in the Washington D.C. area. Michelle made appearances at public schools, stressing the importance of education and volunteer work.

Michelle is inspiring. During some of her talks and campaigns she is quoted to have said the following:

“Real men treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.”

“When they go low, we go high.”

“Choose people who lift you up.”

“I am desperate for change – now – not in 8 years or 12 years, but right now.”

“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.”

“Just do what works for you, because there will always be someone who thinks differently.”

Both Michelle and Barack say their family is their first priority and they try to make sure their daughters have a life which is grounded and healthy. I think, if she was to run for president in my home nation of South Africa, she would have my vote.

As you move into a new year, perhaps her story encourages you. You don’t have to have a 1000 opportunities to make an impact in the world or be a success. You don’t need to be rich. What is key is making the most of what you have, keeping the main thing the main thing and working hard. As Michelle says: “Always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals.”

Are we judging celebrities too hard?

Fran Thring
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Are we judging celebrities too hard?

My friend Candice sent me the link to Lady Gaga’s A Million Reasons about 2 months ago. “I love this song,” she said. “I hope it doesn’t become popular.” Of course it did go and get popular, she’s a little trend creator. The song is about the situation where you are in a relationship with someone, who you love but you also know they are not treating you right. In the chorus Lady Gaga has these words: “I bow down to pray; Oh Lord show me the way.”

“I didn’t know Lady Gaga was Christian,” I sent back to my friend when she sent me the link. That was the last thing I expected, to be honest. Then again, I don’t know that much about most celebrities and my frame of reference for anything about Lady Gaga is “Edge of Glory”  (my favourite Spinning song – gets you SO revved).

Apparently Lady Gaga follows Catholicism. I stumbled around the Internet going from one article to the next down the rabbit hole of unending information spewed at me to try investigate her faith. I came across an instagram post in which Lady Gaga had thanked Father John Duffell of Blessed Sacrament Church for delivering a “beautiful homily” at her family’s restaurant.

In the image’s caption, she wrote, “I was so moved today when you said “The Eucharist is not a prize for the perfect but the food that God gives us.’ — Father Duffell, Blessed Sacrament Church. Nourishment.”

The next day someone commented on the post saying: “Many celebrities are sharing Bible verses, quoting priests, and singing Christian music while at the same time still leading a typical Hollywood lifestyle void of Christian values such as modesty and purity.”

Something about the post infuriated Lady Gaga and she responded with these words:

“Mary Magdalene washed the feet of Christ and was protected and loved by him. A prostitute. Someone society shames as if she and her body are a man’s trash can. He loved her and did not judge. He let her cry over him and dry his feet with the hair of a harlot. We are not just “celebrities” we are humans and sinners, children, and our lives are not void of values because we struggle. We are as equally forgiven as our neighbor. God is never a trend no matter who the believer.”

Her words struck a chord because I too had been guilty of that thinking – Lady Gaga, a Christian? – no ways. At the core of the Christian faith is the principle of grace. Grace is the love of God shown to the unlovely; the peace of God, given to the restless; the unmerited favor of God. Grace is the opposite of karma, which is all about getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve, and mercy is not getting what you do deserve.

At the same time though, grace is not not a ‘free for all’. It’s not something which means “do what you want, sin to your heart’s desire,” and then claim grace from God as though it cost him nothing. Nope, which is why I think many people look at the lives of celebrities and think “you can’t be Christian.”

True change comes from coming to God and turning from your ways. It means realising you messed up and you can’t do it without him. It means that going forward you won’t do what YOU want to do, you’ll chose to do things in life with his guidance and leading.

The writer of the article responded to Lady Gaga: “@ladygaga, your screen shot was a one part of the article which was not aimed at judging you, rather it was an effort to help Catholics to have a balanced and positive view of when celebrities publicly share their faith. It was an invitation to value the hunger of God that exists in the world of the famous. It was a reminder to not forget that they, like us, are fragile and that we should not judge, rather pray for them. This said, what you wrote is absolutely beautiful. It is one of the most touching comments we have ever read. Know that we will be praying that experience of God’s mercy continue to grow and bear fruits for you, for the people that you love, and all of your followers.”

Soul Sunday- Getting cosy with Oprah

Fran Thring
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Soul Sunday- Getting cosy with Oprah

Shoot me, but Oprah has always been my celebrity motivation. I’ve never wanted to be a Kim Kardashian. I’ve never wished I had hair like Jennifer Aniston (ok, wait that’s not true), I’ve never been into the whole ‘if only I looked like, what’s the girl with the dimples in the Notebook?’ Anyway, her. I’ve always wanted to be someone who helped people in their life, who saw the spiritual behind the physical. Who cared about things which are “deep.”

I recently stumbled onto Oprah’s Soul Sunday website.  I really should have known better because now I’ve just watched 7 YouTube videos and I can sense my internet running out faster than a plate of bacon in a room of rugby boys. But it’s so good. I love spiritual stuff and she interviews pastors and people who have written books and she asks questions about things which matter. Nobody does that on TV these days. All they talk about is American politics, or sex, or fashion.

No, I am not a pretend marketeer for Soul Sunday. I am just a new convert (to Oprah’s show, not Jesus. Jesus and I have been chilling for years). It’s the “I found a new song” euphoria. Well, I found the new show.

Just a moment ago I started binge watching Oprah interview Rob Bell (an American pastor, or ex-pastor, I’m not too sure). Anyway, I thought I would share some of the BIG question and answer sessions which the show showcased as maybe you will be interested in some of the questions too.

Oprah: What is the soul?

The thing that keeps telling you there is more. There is more. It’s like you can hear a song in another room, and you can only hear a little bit but it’s so beautiful. And it  makes you curious and then you want more and you try to find the room and you try to open the window and turn the knobs. And then you get into the room and you turn the volume up and it’s so lovely you open the windows so all the neighbours can hear.

What is the difference between religion and spirituality?

Religion should be the practice that helps you cultivate your sense that there is more. It’s the practice, the structure, rituals, the way you navigate that sense of more.

What does prayer mean to you?

Yes, I’m open. What’s next?

What lesson has taken you the longest to learn?

There is nothing to prove, rather enjoy.

What do you think happens when we die?

There’s a huge “ohhhhh” and you get to meet the people who you never met, family, heritage, those who came before you.

Do you think you’ll see them?

Their essence.

What do you know for sure?

You can say yes to the moment now and experience a joy that can’t be put into words.

The world needs….

all of us to wake up.

I believe that we

are going to be fine.

Heaven is 

available and real. Like when you forgive someone, when you stand up for injustice. In that moment you are bringing heaven to earth.

God is…

love

My favourite thing to do on Sunday morning….

Surf with my 13 year old son.

Cool, right? And interesting. What do you think your answers would be to some of these questions? What do you know for sure? What do you think God is, do you think he’s love or do you think he’s cruel? What do you think happens when we die?

The best way to find answers to these questions is to look for them. And pray, ask God if he is real and to show himself to you in some way. We don’t always find all the answers to all the questions on the earth, but we find joy, peace and understanding which counts for everything. Go do some research.  Read a Bible. Life is more than Kim K’s nose, and you don’t want to miss out.

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