Joshua Govender, Author at 1Africa

It’s a matter of trust

Culture

Joshua Govender

-

May 31, 2016

I often find it hard to trust people. It’s probably one of the hardest things we as humans have to deal with: we give of ourselves, and sometimes we get let down. When I look back on past hurts and pain, it often resulted from broken trust.

I recently found myself in a pretty sticky situation where I needed advice. To be honest, I think it had more to do with the fact that I needed to get something off my chest. I found it hard to trust anyone with this information. It was like I couldn’t get myself to actually fully confide in someone. It’s easy to tell people surface-level things, but it’s difficult when you try and get to the real stuff.

Some time went by and eventually I just decided to come out with it to one of my friends. I told him what was going on, how I was feeling – everything. At first I thought he wouldn’t understand, but as I continued, I began to feel more encouraged.

There are a few things I learned from being open and honest:

1. Always have someone to confide in

I found that having someone that you can be open with improves your self-confidence and helps clear your thinking. You need to have someone in your life that will not judge you and will have your best interest at heart. I try not to confide in family members because they’re often too invested in your personal affairs. Trusting a close friend works best because you can grow together.

2. Don’t trust everyone

There is a different side to this, too: you cannot open up to everyone out there. Sometimes people only want information to gossip about. Make sure that you protect yourself!

Don’t be held back by past hurts. Trust others, but be wise in who you trust.

Godspeed.

Kanye is… back!?

-

May 30, 2016

0

A Kanye West mixtape has surfaced from 1997 and it’s incredible. It has the old school feels that could only be Kanye.

It brings me back to a time when it wasn’t about popularity, but just about the music. How times have changed!

Produced by Trilly Madison, it’s a perfect blend of RnB and hip-hop. What a great listen. When mixtapes like this surface, expectations are usually high, and they’re often not met – but this one is definitely worth a listen!

With no lyrics it makes it easy to feel the music and what Kanye was feeling at the time – even though this just has samples on it.

I sometimes wish Kanye would bring back the old school flavour he used to have. Yes, staying relevant sells records – but staying true keeps you humble.

Have a listen and enjoy.

Godspeed.

Those were the days

Culture

Joshua Govender

-

May 26, 2016

0

Do you ever just reminisce about the past?

One simple memory I have is of my dad taking me to get milkshakes. It was our thing to do on a Sunday afternoon – we would always get the same thing. I also remember the time we would go to the drive-in restaurant and order food from our car and watch a movie on the screen in the parking lot. It seemed so amazing to me at the time. Looking back on it, I was just small and innocent.

There was also the time I got into trouble for throwing stones at my neighbour’s window with a friend. Every time she came out to check who it was we would hide behind the wall and wait for the gate to close, then do it again… until she closed the gate and stayed outside and caught us in the act.

I remember getting my first guitar. I loved that thing so much it would sleep in the bed with me. It was my world. It actually made me fall in love with music all over again.

Looking back on some of those seemingly insignificant but awesome memories, I really appreciate them. Not only do they represent times I learnt a lot, but they were also the times that made me into the person I am today.

Take a little time to look back on your own memories this week. You don’t have to get fixated on the past – but just remember the little things. You never know how it could inspire you.

Godspeed.

Go with your gut

Joshua Govender

-

May 24, 2016

0

Do you ever get that feeling deep down in your stomach? No, I’m not talking about being hungry, I’m talking about when you get a gut feeling – almost like a little voice inside you; the kind of voice we often fight against because it may mean we need to do something we don’t like.

I found myself in a situation like this recently when I had to choose between my gut feel and my head. It was a Sunday night after church, and I was hanging out with some friends in the foyer. It’s hard to talk to people sometimes after a long day at church, but such is the nature of what we do. If you have been reading my blogs, you’d know that I love talking to people – especially the weird ones. However in this instance, I found myself fighting the urge to talk.

On this particular night I was in the foyer when I saw a guy sitting by himself; he looked a little confused, and I considered approaching him. I had the gut feel that I needed to sit with him because he needed someone to talk to. My head, on the other hand, was saying “he’s okay.” This little internal battle went on for about five minutes, after which I finally decided that I would go over to him.

However, before I could take another step towards him, someone else sat down next to him and started a conversation.

That seemingly insignificant incident caused me to do a massive reality check that night. The bottom line: I realised that if I didn’t listen to that voice inside me in situations like these, God would use someone else to reach out to others in my place. If we miss opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others, we will be replaced.

I realised that, more often than not, our gut feeling is right. Sometimes we fight it because it’s not what we want or it’s uncomfortable. But like I realised that night: it’s not about us, it’s about others.

Go with your gut: more often than not, it’s right.

Godspeed.

How to know when a season is over

Joshua Govender

-

May 23, 2016

0

Do you ever feel like the season you are currently in is over, but you’re not sure so you stick around a bit longer?

I found myself stuck in a difficult situation recently when I decided to move to a house. The process ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be because some of the people involved were making it difficult to fully step into this next season of my life.

It came down to one difficult decision: the choice between securing something for my future (not to mention something that will save me money) or sticking around in order to make it easier on other people.

As you can guess, I decided on a more secure future. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. There were some difficult conversations to have, along with uneasy feelings and in some cases even childlike behaviour. However, I got through it. At first I felt a little bad, but now I’m totally happy with my decision.

So how do you know when a season is over?

You need to look out for the signs. You can often tell that a season is over when the people involved become unsettled. They may even become angry – not with you, but just because they are wrestling internally (which may result in “friendly fire” coming your way).

Sometimes a season is over when it starts getting uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s often good to be in uncomfortable situations – I believe it grows you and stretches your capacity – but on the odd occasion you’ll feel so uncomfortable that you’ll almost feel like you are moving backwards rather than forwards.

It’s okay to think of yourself sometimes. Trust me, that’s a difficult one for me. I used to try and please people but to be honest, pleasing others gets you nowhere in life. Sometimes investing in your future means making tough decisions about your own wellbeing. It’s always good to help others and to be there for them, but don’t ever let people make you feel bad for stepping into a new season.

Just remember that when God brings new seasons along our path, it’s up to us to prepare ourselves. Be prepared and know that your next season will bring many new possibilities!

Godspeed.

How to keep going

Joshua Govender

-

May 20, 2016

0

Life sometimes gets hard and it’s a human thing to want to give up and move on. Often it’s the easier way out.

We sometimes doubt ourselves and our capabilities. We wonder why good things happen to other people. Why do “they” get everything, while I am waiting over here? Sometimes we make rash decisions that we immediately regret, because if we only held on a bit longer the outcome would have been completely different. If only we could have seen into the future…

We get stuck in a world of doubts and “if onlys” – to the point where we fail to see the bigger picture. We get caught up worrying about what life is “supposed” to look like, and forget how blessed we already are.

However, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that we need to hold fast during the trials and periods of waiting. We need to remember that there would be no story without times of hardship. There are two simple but powerful ways to keep going:

1. Be steadfast

Never give up on the dreams and desires in your heart. It’s always easier said than done, but stay true to who you are and never let go. If you have dreams, work towards them with resolve.

2. Never lose yourself

Be true to who you are. Never let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t be – always believe in yourself and dreams. Your breakthrough could be just on the other side of your current season.

This life is yours to live. Understand that breakthrough is on its way. Whatever season you find yourself in, let your decisions be your own.

Godspeed.

A good father

Culture

Joshua Govender

-

May 17, 2016

0

Growing up looked a little different for me. I didn’t come from a broken home; I didn’t have divorced parents; but something felt like it was out of place. All my life I rebelled against the fact that my dad had a say in my life. We didn’t really have the best relationship – he was always working, and if he wasn’t working he would be taking his frustrations out on me. It was like a never-ending cycle. It was pretty confusing and uncomfortable to me, because the more he pushed, the more I pushed back. Let’s just say our home was pretty intense most of the time.

I started to look at my dad and his life because I knew what was wrong with me, but I wanted to try and figure out why he reacted the way he did. I found some pretty crazy stuff: turns out he was an orphan from four years of age and never knew what it was to have a good father figure in his life.

It’s crazy that generations of bad fathers could have an effect on my dad and me. It was surreal to me but I continued to try and figure it out. It boiled down to my dad reacting and acting off of his hurt and his experience of what a father was.

I finally figured out a method that helped me to deal with the situation: I realised that in order for there to be a good father, there needed to be a good son. If I wanted my father to treat me with respect, I had to show him that I would be consistent in all I did. I had to make him proud even when he wasn’t looking.

And so it brings me to today: The relationship between my father and I are better than ever. It’s weird thinking about it because I’m not used to it yet, but looking back, I know change only came when I decided to step out in faith and become a son that he could be proud of – not to make him happy, but so that generations to come will carry the same heart for family that we do now.

Godspeed.

Why your thoughts direct your steps

Lifestyle

Joshua Govender

-

May 16, 2016

0

Do you sometimes experience those days or moments where everything seems to be working – when you have accomplished everything? Don’t worry, it rarely happens to me too – but when it does I often wonder: what is next?

I have always been cautious when good things happen to me because I know that usually, straight after that, something bad happens. Trust me, I’ve tested it a thousand times. It’s almost like I have to build up a few “bad points” in order to receive one good thing.

I started wondering why this happened to me every single time. It’s almost like a defence mechanism: I prepared myself for something bad, so it wouldn’t be as big of a shock when it happened.

But then I heard a quote that hit me hard: “What you speak, is what you get.”

It dawned on me: the only thing in the way of a lot of good things happening in my life, is me!

Our mindsets have the ability to send us on a particular course. We often go a certain route because we have a preconceived idea of what is supposed to happen, and we begin to believe lies and allow our negative subconscious thoughts to direct our path – and these lies and doubts ultimately become a reality in our actions.

Life is filled with ups and downs. There will always be times where things could go better, but it’s in those times where we need to speak positivity over ourselves and believe for the best. You need to walk in the knowledge that your journey is blessed – and that even though sometimes things aren’t going great, it could still become the best day of your life.

Speak blessing over yourself, instead of negativity.

Godspeed.

Stop judging, start acting

Culture

Joshua Govender

-

May 12, 2016

0

Last night I met this guy on the street. He was wearing dirty old clothes, he only had one bag with him, and he was wearing a car guard vest. Before leaving my parking spot, I began a conversation with him.

I began by apologising because I actually didn’t have any money for him, but I gave him some food I had in the car. You could see he was a little sad, but happy that he had something to eat. I asked him why he looked sad, and he replied that he didn’t have enough money for a shelter so he had to stay on the street that night.

I wished I had money for him. There was something different about this guy. He was a good person, even though his situation may have been tough. Anyway, I jumped into my car and as I was about to drive off he stopped me and asked if I had spare clothing because he would be cold in the night. So I took my shirt off and gave it to him.

Now, I’m telling you this story not because of what I did, but because of what this guy did to me. You see, he didn’t make me feel sorry for him; he didn’t beg; he was just a good guy on the street trying to survive, and in an instant I wanted to bless him.

It’s sad to say but often we miss people like this because we judge them by their appearance or how they smell or where they are from. That guy will never know the impact he had on my life even if it was just a few moments.

I often sit and wonder what would happen if the world suddenly turned around and all the “unlikely” or “unlucky” people became rich or had influence. It’s actually a crazy thought.

Don’t ever disqualify someone – make sure that everyone feels like they are the most special person in the world. You don’t have to get it right, but a little effort won’t hurt either.

Godspeed.

The creativity hack that could change it all

Joshua Govender

-

May 10, 2016

0

The creativity hack that could change it all

Do you ever have those days where it’s almost impossible to create? I mean, you can create nothing. You sit down to try and write or create something, but nothing is coming out. It kind of sucks to not be able to express yourself if you know you are good at it.

I found myself stuck a few month ago. I love writing not just blogs, but actually songs and music. It’s something I thought I would never struggle with – until a few months ago. I was so frustrated that every time I sat down absolutely nothing came out. It was like I was empty.

So I began to think about how I could stir some creativity into my thought and into what I’m doing and I came up with one simple idea. I’m not saying it will work for you as well as it did for me – but give it a go anyway!

The idea is simple: You need a box to think outside of the box. It’s as simple as that. Often we think creativity is about being different and making something completely new or “thinking outside of the box.” But how are you going to think outside of the box when you don’t even have a box to start with?

A few weeks after that I began to write themes, headings, and phrases that I wanted my writing to be themed around. The greatest thing happened: it began to open up ideas that I didn’t even write about; it made create even when I wasn’t trying. It was like I was in another world.

Don’t feel frustrated and don’t give up. When you feel you have no more creativity or motivation, start creating little “boxes” for yourself to inspire your creativity.

God Speed.

Joshua Govender

Connect with us