Mike Mpofu

It is a decision. Nothing that you seek to do, will happen merely by chance.

Any goals, targets and dreams you have, won’t happen ‘one day’, if you don’t make a deliberate effort to make them a reality.

I am learning this, quickly.

This applies to the smallest of goals to the biggest of dreams.

Human beings are often caught in the ‘at some stage I would like to…’ trap.

We all have these moments.

We are often not happy about where or what we are, and desire change.

But whatever we want won’t fall into our lap.

So how do we get from where we are now, to where we want to be?

1.    MAKE A DECISION

MAKE A DECISION!!!!!

I cannot stress this enough. There are few things worse than someone who cannot decide.

I’m not talking about deciding what you want for dinner. I’m referring to the decisions that matter.

People who are indecisive don’t get things done. Simple.

So make a decision.

You can’t have your cake and eat it. At some stage in your life, you will have to pursue a certain path. This is a fact.

Make sure you don’t find yourself on a path which has been chosen for you!

Life is too short for that.

One of my favourite mantras was written by the American author Henry David Thoreau:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”

Mr Thoreau was saying: decide where or what you want, and move in that direction.

People often don’t achieve, because they don’t decide.

2.    MAKE LISTS

I write a lot. On computer keypads, cellphone screens, notebooks, random pieces of paper etc.
I do this because it helps me to visualise what I need to do. And when I’m done with it, I cross it off. That’s how I measure my progress.

Sometimes, the ‘at some stage I would like to…’ doesn’t materialise, because you don’t even know what it looks like.

Write it down, see it and aim towards it.

There is nothing more annoying than that thing on the to-do list that hasn’t been crossed off. It must be dealt with. But as long as it remains a figment of your imagination, it will go nowhere.

Use every means possible to keep your goals in focus.

I recently visited the doctor who prescribed some medication. I need to take the medication at certain times of the day. But I know myself very well. I hate medication and if I had it my way, I wouldn’t take it. But I know it is for my own good.

So how do we fix this?

I write it down.

I have alarms that go off at certain times of the day to remind me to take medication.

In the same way, I have calendar alarms that remind me when I have to attend meetings, appointments, coffee dates etc.

You have to be intentional about everything.

3.    START SMALL

You’ve heard that a million times before.

That’s because it’s true.

If you can’t hit the small targets, the bigger stuff will be too daunting.

Start with those things that you can literally do TODAY, where you can see instant results.

This may mean, changing your morning routine, or whatever it may be, but it is a start.

So if you don’t like something, live deliberately and change WILL come.

All the best.

“BEING famous on Twitter is like being rich in monopoly”.

I cannot find who first said this, but the irony of this piece – as you will see shortly – is that I first saw that on Twitter.

Last week I took a decision to delete three social networks from my phone.

I love my iPhone. I believe that Jesus made it because he loves me. BUT it shouldn’t be permanently glued to my hand.

Let me explain.

I have to use my phone a lot, given my line of work. It is a tool of the trade above all else, and then the social aspect comes second.

Emails, reminders, meeting requests, phone calls and texts, make sure I have to charge it by midday.

But I started noticing a trend: I would be mid-conversation with someone and I’d start scrolling through my Twitter timeline. It was getting bad!

I then took a decision to remind myself (and my phone) who was in charge: ME and not social media.

I know 99% of you reading this can relate.

The earth will stop spinning if you don’t check your Instagram or update your Facebook status. Your twitter followers will not be able to survive without your gems of wisdom.

All the above is obviously not true.

So much has been said about the power of social media and how to use it wisely, among other things.

But what I realised last week was that: it should not determine the rhythms of my lifestyle.

So having taken the decision to delete them and only having to use my phone when I needed to, did it make a difference?

The simple answer: YES

And here’s why:

1.      I actually talk to people now

I give people my undivided attention. Whether it is a social or formal setting, I actually speak to them and have no desire or need to look at my phone every 5 minutes. It makes a world of difference. It gives people the respect they deserve, but it also allows me to respond because I am actually enjoying the conversation, and not hide the fact that I wasn’t listening.

2.      I sleep so much better

Here’s an exercise I want you to do in the next few days: write down the first thing you do when you wake up and the last thing you do before falling asleep.

In the 21st century and the age of social media, I can almost guarantee that a majority of you will write: “check my phone” during your exercise.

I understand the need to be well informed, but that can be done without having a phone glued to my hand all the time.

So I sleep much better, because I only use social media from my computer now. And that is usually when I am behind a desk during the day.

This means I have more time to actually ‘relax’ when I am home, and not go on a social media binge until I fall asleep.

Believe me, being rested has changed my productivity in a positive way.

3.      I have learnt to prioritise

What does this mean? Simply, that the world won’t fall apart if I’m not on Facebook for the next two days, or if I haven’t tweeted over the weekend.

Life goes on!

But what I need to do is allocate my time to what matters.

This is not to say social media doesn’t matter, it does, but it is not the be all and end all of life.

While we are all looking down at our phones, everything else happens around us.

Does this piece mean that I will never reload social media apps on my phone? NO, I’m sure I will at some stage. But I am under no pressure to do so.

But it also means I’ve learnt the lesson, it won’t control me, I love my sleep and human interaction far too much.

It also means I will be more aware and hopefully responsible in my use of social media.

Because famous on twitter is like being rich in monopoly – we still have to face the real world.