Ruth O'Reilly-Smith, Author at 1Africa

After The Rain

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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November 17, 2016

For the last three years South Africa experienced the driest period on record. With barely a drop of rain, death was everywhere. Crops were dying. Livestock was dying, and the country’s rivers and dams were dry. People suffered terribly as water and food became scarce and expensive. The nation was a sorry-looking brown dust bowl. Until it started raining.

As the skies opened, a deluge of water was dumped over much of the country in flash floods that wreaked havoc across the major cities. As residents struggle to come to terms with these two extremes of drought and flood, there is some cause for celebration. Although it’ll probably take a number of years to recover fully from the drought, above average rainfall has been forecast for the country between now and February.

And, we can revel in new life across the nation. Not only are we able to delight in the sweet sound of new-born lambs and calves, but one immediate sign of new life is in the grass. After the rain, the lush green that seems to have lain dormant for three years has now pushed its way up through the cracked, dry ground and is on glorious display across the country. It’s astonishing to see the difference just one day of rain can make to dry, dusty brown ground. That same bland landscape is now awash with brilliant colours and teeming with life.

Look to the skies

When I see these stark contrasts I’m filled with hope. It doesn’t take much for us to become disillusioned as we consider some of the grave injustices around us. Our view of life can appear grey and bland, but all it takes is a bit of rain to reveal the beauty of what lies beneath the dreary dullness.

The ‘rain’ of life – I think – is hope. It’s those startling moments that make you really grateful and in an instant enable you to catch a glimpse of colour in your life. It’s those surprising times when you hear or see something you weren’t expecting and the wonder of life instantly comes into focus – sharp and clear.

We do experience times of drought in life, but one thing we can be sure of is that seasons change and the rain will come. Look out for it. It may be a drenching flash flood, a gentle drizzle or a soaking shower but either way, expect the rain to come and when it does, revel in the vibrant colour that’s been brewing beneath the surface of all that is you – your true character.

Humans have no way of knowing the future but God knows and although you may not understand what’s going on in your life right now, if you love God, know that He is working everything together for your ultimate good. You can trust Him.

Look out for the rain! I hope you have some today.

Surrender To Your Season

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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November 10, 2016

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“You can have it all, whenever you want and still be happy.” Or can you? Can I be a gorgeous looking woman, great wife, helpful mother, successful business owner, loyal friend, loving sister, dedicated volunteer – all while maintaining my joy?

I’m not sure I can ‘have it all’ – maintain my true identity and retain my joy.

I think many of us are journeying through life with a fake smile and a sad heart. We’ve lost the joy of living, because we’re tired. We’ve become bogged down with trying to live up to the unattainable dream of being all things to all people, all the time.

We live in a highly competitive culture, which feeds into our need for approval – approval from others, who are longing for approval from us. Before we give up all hope, there is one way we can free ourselves from the need to earn the approval of others.

Surrender to your season.

Rather than going through life with gritted teeth and clenched fists, endeavouring all the while to fight your way through every interaction, hoping that somehow the people you connect with will think highly of you; take a deep breath, relax, open your hands and surrender. Surrender to the season you’re in and be at peace with who you are, where you’re at and who you’re with.

The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible highlights the beauty of the different seasons of life:

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

So, what season are you in?

Pause for a moment and consider your life. Silence the clutter. Turn off the noise of social media and still your heart and mind long enough for you to really feel who you are.
Allow yourself to ask the tough questions. Who are you when you’re alone, when no one can see or hear you apart from your Maker. Are you happy? Or are you hurting?
Open your hands and your heart and surrender. Surrender to the one who made you, the one who really knows you, surrender to the time and place you’re in, surrender to the people who matter most to you, right now, in this moment.
Breathe in your new life. Allow yourself to feel alive. Laugh out loud. Do the one thing you ache for, not because anyone else is watching but because it’s the right thing to do in this season and it makes you feel truly alive.

And smile contented, as you surrender to the season you’re in.

Job security?

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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November 3, 2016

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My friend Stan got a job today. He has three children; his oldest daughter who’s about to start college, his nine-year-old son in primary school and his three week old daughter. If you’re a parent, then you’ll know how stressed he felt as an out-of-work dad.

I’m over the moon for Stan but I can’t help but think of the many who are out of work or whose jobs are currently under threat. Many in my immediate family worryingly find themselves in this position – my brother’s company hasn’t paid him for last month, my brother-in-law has been told he’ll be out of work before Christmas and my other brother-in-law is working on his company’s final project, with no further work secured for the foreseeable future.

Job security is a misnomer really – it no longer exists. Gone are the days when a person would remain in one job for life. These days, many people will work for six or more different companies and most of us will change our occupation completely three or more times. If “job security is the probability that an individual will keep his or her job,” that probability has been greatly reduced in recent years.

How can we be proactive in our approach to employment?

Make yourself valuable. What are you interested in, passionate about and good at? Take courses, attend lectures, study further and equip yourself to be at the cutting edge of your industry. Ask your company to pay for, or at least subsidise, your studies. This will enable you to keep growing and will increase your confidence as well as your value within the marketplace.
Learn a new skill. This will not only enlarge your skill set and give you more options when it comes to job opportunities, but some of the latest research also indicates the positive mental health benefits of learning a new skill.
Be wholly committed to doing your absolute best in the job you’re in. Stay humble and be grateful, but keep your CV updated at all times. Ask someone you trust to read through your CV and give you constructive criticism.
Be assertive. Much emphasis is placed on loyalty to a company and as I mentioned in my previous point, there is much to be said for bringing your A-game to work every day but, if you’re not being allowed to grow where you are, it may be time to move on – be open to other options and possibilities. If you spot a job opportunity that piques your interest, ask those who know you best and those you trust most to tell you whether they think you’ll be a good fit for the advertised job. There’s no harm in sending your CV through and going for an interview though.
Don’t allow fear, loyalty or manipulation from your current employers to keep you from considering other alternatives. Grow where you are and if you can’t grow any longer, it may be time to move on.

Seth Godin (author, entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker) challenges us to have a project rather than a job.

“Jobs are finite, specified and something we ‘get’. Doing a job makes us defensive, it limits our thinking. The goal is to do just enough, not get in trouble, meet spec. When in doubt, seek deniability.

Projects are open-ended, chosen and ours. Working on a project opens the door to possibility. Projects are about better, about new frontiers, about making change happen. When in doubt, dare.” (sethgodin.typepad.com)

Rather than pursuing ‘job security’, perhaps we should dare to grow a project. This is when we begin to live truly alive and people will pay good money for services or products delivered by truly alive people, full of purpose and passion.

Life After Loss

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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October 27, 2016

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Our neighbour’s cat went missing last night. I heard the whole family calling out for Camo long after I’d gone to bed. I didn’t hear them this morning though, so I’m hoping the ginger feline has found its way back to his anxious owners. Losing a beloved pet is heart breaking. We had to leave our fluffy white poodle – Snowy – with friends when we moved house and more than a year later our children still pine for him, and regularly beg for a replacement pup.

We all lose things sometimes. Maybe it’s not a ginger cat or a fluffy white poodle. It could be your job, or your health, or a once-precious relationship that’s now broken. Or maybe, it’s the loss of a loved one to the ravages of a terminal illness, a car crash, or their time on earth just came to an end.

More than surviving

Whatever the cause, the challenge is in learning to live after the loss and the hope is that we wouldn’t just survive, but rather that we would go on to thrive. If you’re in the midst of a recent loss, the thought of thriving may be too painful to contemplate, and that’s okay. Don’t be hard on yourself and don’t just rush ahead. Take it one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel sad, to cry and feel the loss deeply and at the right time, you will begin to slowly lift your heard and continue living. Embrace the change and allow it to mobilise you and empower you to live differently, but truly alive.

David Roper – pastor and author – wrote recently of his loss of mobility. A combination of back problems left him pushing a three-wheel walker which means he can no longer hike or fish or do many of the things he used to enjoy. David’s learnt to accept his limitations however and he now views them in a positive light. He refers to the apostle Paul who went so far as to boast in his weakness, for it was in his weakness that God’s power was revealed (2 Corinthians 12:9 – Bible).

Seeing our loss in this way helps us wake up in the morning full of faith and courage. It gives us a determination to face the day with confidence, knowing that while there is breath in our lungs, we still have purpose. While we are alive, we can still make a difference for the good in our world. Rather than allowing the weight of sadness to keep us down, let us learn to accept things as they are and be content to thrive in the midst of our new normal.

How do you handle Halloween?

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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October 20, 2016

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For many years Halloween remained a bit of a non-event in South Africa. The high walls and fences, guard dogs and armed response around many properties probably kept parents from allowing their children to go ‘trick or treating’. The scary costumes, big pumpkins and Halloween parties have however become wildly popular in recent years and our nine-year-old twins are wanting to know what Halloween is. Why do people observe it? and why our family doesn’t?

As Christians, how should we respond to this growing interest in Halloween, and what can I teach my children?

Three possible ways you can respond to Halloween:

Make sure you’re out of town on Halloween. If you do stay at home, put the lights off, close the curtains and pretend you’re not home. Steer clear of all conversations about Halloween and refuse to get into a discussion about it – just ignore it.
It’s just a bit of harmless fun after all so, embrace what can be a fun time for the whole family and community. As parents, chat to neighbours. Let the children dress up and collect treats, go to Halloween parties and tell scary stories.
Rather than running away or ignoring the darkness of Halloween, how about bringing the light of Jesus into the darkness? Recognise that there are pagan connections to Halloween but God can use any circumstance or festival to His glory. Engage with the festivities by generously giving the biggest and best treats to any children who do come ‘trick or treating’ to your doorstep. Give them an encouraging verse or Christian booklet and talk about the hope that Jesus gives us in death and how we need not fear it.

I pray for wisdom for you as you decide how you will view Halloween this year. Spend time together as a family, sharing your thoughts about Halloween and what God’s Word says about evil spirits, death and the life we have in Christ.

Be clear about why you’ve decided on a particular course of action around Halloween – the Bible says we need to be able to give a reason for the hope we have (1 Peter 3:15).

Be intentional in your faith and have the courage of your convictions as you engage with your community this season, and most importantly; be humble and gracious as you allow the love of Jesus to shine through you in a practical way.

God and dating

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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October 13, 2016

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Most children find moving schools hugely traumatic, but I thrived when we moved from one side of town to the other and had to change schools in year 10. It probably had something to do with Liesl. She instantly made me feel welcome. She was hugely popular and introduced me to all her friends, including the hottest boy in the school. To be honest, he’s probably the real reason I loved my new school so much. The tall, dark-haired Greek was not only gorgeous to look at, he was also funny, could play the guitar, had an amazing voice and – he was a Christian.

I’d recently recommitted my life to Christ and could not get over how such a cool guy could also be a Christian. I was convinced we were destined for each other. How could we not be?! We had a few classes together and quickly became good friends and although I wanted more, I was way too shy admit how I felt. I would regularly chat to God about him and was sure He told me that we would one day marry, have a whole brood of beautiful children and serve as missionaries in some far-flung place.

The two of us led the Students Christian Association at school and were leaders in the church youth group. We were like brother and sister. Those around us always wondered when we were going to start dating, but we never did. He never asked me out and I never had the courage to tell him how I felt. I always wondered. And waited.

Although I had some wonderful guy friends and went on dates with a few, I never saw any of them as anything other than friends because my heart was set on one day marrying my Greek friend.

And then, he went to London. So, I went to London. It was here in this far-flung vibrant city that we finally did have that very long overdue talk. I admitted that I had always loved him and he? Well, not long after that chat, he met the girl who’s now his wife and they live in some far-flung place with their whole brood of gorgeous children. And me? Well, I moved north of London to Birmingham and met the man I’m now married to and we have two gorgeous children.

The moral of the story?

Don’t wait for God to tell you who you’re going to marry
If you like being with someone, ask God to give you the courage to tell them how you feel
If they don’t feel the same way, it’s time for you to move on. Focus on who you are and on what you love doing. Before long you will meet someone who enjoys being with you as much as you love being with them
Ask God to change how you feel if he/she is not the right person for you
Do a bit of soul-searching. Write down all the reasons you like that guy/girl – be honest and just let it flow
Write down all the things you don’t like about them and the things that make you feel uncomfortable, unsettled or unsure – also, be honest here… no holding back
Now, write down the five things you believe are most important in your future spouse
Go over the things you don’t like again. If you think they may become an issue later on in a marriage relationship, now’s a good time to create some distance between you and that person
Otherwise, enjoy getting to know each other. Don’t rush, take the time to talk and listen. Watch them in different circumstances and with different people and have fun doing the things you both enjoy
Does he/she bring out the best in you? If not, don’t bother – you’re worth more than that

You’re such a snob!

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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October 6, 2016

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I’m a coffee snob. When it comes to coffee it should be properly ground black coffee – no sugar.

Maybe it’s your favourite brand of clothing or the shoes you wear? How about the supermarket you select, the style of music you listen to on that one specific brand of headphones, your watch and phone? And, how about the school your children go to, the neighbourhood you live in, the way you speak, the sport you choose, the church you go to and how you wear your hair?

These are all individual choices, but when do our unique preferences become snobbery and is it ever okay to be a snob?

The Urban Dictionary defines a “snob” as: Anyone who thinks they are better than someone else based upon superficial factors.

The Free Dictionary gives the meaning of the word as: One who despises, ignores, or is patronizing to those he or she considers inferior. Or, one who is convinced of his or her superiority in matters of taste or intellect.

These definitions of the word “snob” certainly don’t leave me wanting the label – even if it is just a “coffee snob”.

I felt sure that the meaning of the word had changed somewhat, with many taking pride in light-heartedly referring to themselves as a “snob” of some or other product or behaviour. In the last few days however, I’ve heard it used in the more negative context.

Someone on Facebook made reference to people who seem to consider themselves better than others because of what they do, how much they earn, where they live and how they look – she went on to say she didn’t have time for “snobs”.

Then, a presenter on the radio asked whether the Europeans were being snobbish about the seemingly loud and brash American spectators at last weekend’s Ryder Cup? He went on to make reference to the many loud and brash spectators at European sporting events.

And finally, the British Prime Minister, Theresa May, this week voiced her disdain for snobbishness among the political elite.

I’m reminded of something the Apostle Paul wrote in the Bible in Romans 12:3 “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us”. He went on to say “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

Steer clear of snobbishness by:

Being grateful for who and what you have in your life
Humbly recognising that we are all human with a unique story
Acknowledging that everyone is entitled to their own likes and dislikes
Appreciating and listening to the opinions of others
Being ready to learn from others, no matter who they are – remaining teachable
Being open to the possibility that you may be wrong

I love great coffee, but I’m not gonna be a snob about it.

Charisma and character

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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September 30, 2016

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The England football team no longer have a manager. Sam Allardyce resigned this week after only 67 days and one match in charge. His decision to step down comes in the wake of an undercover operation by a British newspaper which revealed that Allardyce used his position to negotiate a deal worth £400 000. He also offered advice on how to get around player transfer rules, mocked the former England football manager, and criticised his employer – the Football Association – amongst other things.

Sam Allardyce may well be a charismatic man, but no amount of charisma could keep him in his job or maintain his reputation. Allardyce’s character has been severely tarnished and although he may recover to some degree, it will take much longer for him to recover from this slight to his character.

A wise minister once warned me, “…the one thing you should guard above all things is your character. It can take years to recover from a decision or an action that calls the integrity of your character into question”.

How then do I protect myself against poor choices that damage my character and how do I develop a good character?

Michael Hyatt (author, blogger and speaker) wrote recently about the three forces that shape character:

The input we consume: What are you reading, watching, and listening to? Your choices will either build your character or erode it. The input you consume is the raw material out of which your character is formed.
The relationships we pursue. Jim Rohn once said; “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” We should therefore be more intentional about the people we choose to associate with.
- If you want to lose weight, hang out with people who make good diet and exercise choices.
- If you want a better marriage, socialise with people who have healthy ones.
- If you want to make more money, associate with people who are successful.

Conversely, distance yourself from people who reinforce your worst traits. The Bible warns, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

The habits we acquire. The consistent ways we think, speak, and act in different situations. Good habits lead to good outcomes:
- If we develop the habit of praising our spouse in public, for example, it contributes to a healthy marriage.
- If we develop the habit of positive thinking, it can help us cope with adversity.
- If we make healthy food choices, it can increase our energy, improve our productivity, and extend our lives.

In the same way, bad habits have the opposite effect.

Nothing is more important to our effectiveness than the cultivation of our character – MichaelHyatt.com.

Charisma is a truly wonderful thing – it’s what draws people to you. If you have charisma and good character, that’s even better. You don’t have to choose between the two, but you do need both to maintain a lifelong positive influence.

Swine Flu – Should I be concerned?

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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September 22, 2016

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My brother posted a message on our family WhatsApp group last week, warning that increased cases of swine flu were being reported across Gauteng. As of last Friday, there were 38 confirmed cases of the influenza strain with the majority of them being in the capital city, Pretoria. Last month, there were reports of a swine flu outbreak in the Western Cape after more than 20 people were treated for the virus.

So, should I be concerned?

The department of health in the Western Cape has assured people that there is no need to panic and the Gauteng department of health says the virus has been circulating through each flu season since 2010 and there is nothing to be concerned about.

The National Institute for Communicable Diseases (NICD) in South Africa has also been tracking influenza viruses since the flu season began in May this year. In a statement, they said that “The influenza season, which started in the week of the 9th May 2016, was initially dominated by influenza B virus. However in recent weeks there has been an increase in the number of cases testing positive for influenza A (H1N1) pdm09 and influenza A (H3N2)”. They state however that the reported rise is nothing unexpected and a decrease in the number of cases is expected within the next few weeks with the end of winter.

“Swine flu” was the popular name for flu caused by a relatively new type of flu virus responsible for a global flu pandemic in 2009-10. It’s now just a normal seasonal flu and is included in the annual flu vaccine. The virus was first identified in Mexico in April 2009. It became known as swine flu because it’s similar to flu viruses that affect pigs.

The facts:

Swine flu is a respiratory disease caused by influenza viruses that infect the respiratory tract of pigs and result in a barking cough, decreased appetite, nasal secretions, and listless behaviour; the virus can be transmitted to humans.
Swine flu viruses may change so that they are easily transmissible among humans.
The 2009 swine flu outbreak was due to infection with the H1N1 virus and was first observed in Mexico.

About the virus:

Symptoms of swine flu in humans are similar to most influenza infections: fever (38 degrees C plus), cough, nasal secretions, fatigue, and headache.
The incubation period for the disease is about one to four days.
Swine flu is contagious about one day before symptoms develop to about five to seven days after symptoms develop (some patients may be contagious for longer).
Swine flu is transmitted from person to person by inhalation or ingestion of droplets containing virus from people sneezing or coughing; it is not transmitted by eating cooked pork products.
The most serious complication of the flu is pneumonia.

Prevention:

Wash your hands often. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

In conclusion:

If you do have any of the above symptoms, please see your GP. Thankfully, the NICD says the flu season is expected to last only until the second week of October. So, eat healthily, drink your eight glasses of water a day, exercise regularly, get some good sleep, and enjoy good health this season.

Counting on kindness

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

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September 15, 2016

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I think kindness is underrated. It’s a bit like the word “nice”. Sometimes you gotta use it, but when you do, it seems bland and unimaginative. Kindness is a “fruit of the Holy Spirit” mentioned in the Bible – one of a list of those things against which there is no law:

“…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” – Galatians 5:22-23

If you’re all about bringing about change for the good to your community, one of the easiest ways you can do that is by letting the “fruit of the Holy Spirit” be evident in your life. Imagine the kind of hope and positive change we could bring to our communities if we chose love over hate, joy over despair, peace over violence, patience over impatience, kindness over cruelty… You get my drift.

The dictionary definition of kindness is: “The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate”. To me, kindness reveals our innate humanity. It’s what makes us pause and notice each other. Kindness is what slows us down long enough to be grateful.

There are many untold stories of kindness being shown to strangers but one recently received global attention. It’s the story of a father who helped a struggling mom on a flight in the US. The pregnant woman was flying alone with her young son when he became upset and was crying. A man got up from his seat and went over to the expectant mother, not to complain about the noise, but to offer to help her.

For much of the flight from Minneapolis to Atlanta this stranger walked up and down the aisle comforting the boy as if he was his own son. This act of kindness from one stranger to another moved many on that flight to tears. It was a powerful example of a dad who noticed a need beyond himself, stepped outside of his comfort zone and did something to help.

Have you seen kindness on display this week or have you been kind to someone?

This is a great reminder: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”.

Because kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, it’s consistently displayed through the person who is filled with the Holy Spirit and that happens when we know God through Jesus Christ. When we surrender our own, selfish will to God’s will, He gives us the ability to look beyond ourselves to the needs of others. Only then are we able to be truly kind.

Of all the good that governments, organisations, charities and churches do to bring change to communities, I’m counting on kindness from people like you and me to bring real, lasting change.

Ruth O'Reilly-Smith

Look to the skies

Surrender to your season.

So, what season are you in?

How can we be proactive in our approach to employment?

More than surviving

Three possible ways you can respond to Halloween:

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