Thursday, November 14, 2024
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Ryniel Muthusami

It’s not fair!

I’m an only child, so I’m fairly spoilt (okay, no, I’m very spoilt!)

To make up for the absence of a brother or sister, my parents always gave me what I wanted. Most of the time I didn’t work for anything; I never really earned what I got… but I still got it. It’s not like my parents were extremely well-off, but they were focused on giving me the best. I would be flat-out lying if I said I had never thrown a tantrum for not getting what I wanted. I would get extremely angry at my parents, sometimes even reaching the “I’m-not-eating-the-food” stage. Yup, not great, I know…

This weekend my social media feed was, ahem… abuzz (a grand total of two people commented) when I posted an extremely vague Facebook status titled “It is not fair!”

Let me explain: God had spoken to me about a relationship situation and said “no”. To top things off, He relayed the same message to the other person. We were not to pursue the relationship, even though I wanted to.

A little background: I like helping other people connect the dots of their life stories in an effort to set them on a path to happiness and fulfillment. It’s what I like to do, and I feel I’m good at it. So, when this relationship situation happened, I started feeling like I was always helping others – but that the happiness they felt was apparently not for me. In short, I was angry at God – it felt like he had let me down!

Throwing my toys out the cot, I retaliated with a tantrum: “It’s not fair!”

You see, we’re sometimes tempted to look at our relationship with God simply in terms of what we can get from Him. It’s all about how He can make me happy. Me, me, me! There’s a simple problem here: I’m too used to getting what I want.

But that’s not really what a relationship with God is like. Often, God says “no” – not because He’s spiteful, but because He loves us and wants to protect us from situations that aren’t right for us. Often, we’re so caught up in what we want from God, that we miss His purpose or guidance in a specific situation. Making that shift from a selfish, self-serving attitude to a selfless, self-emptying love for God is part of the journey every single one of us has to undertake if we are to really live for Him.

To be perfectly honest, I can’t say that I’m not still a little disappointed. As I’m writing this, I’m still trying to process things. But I can tell you that He is working on my heart and teaching me that a relationship with Him is not all about what I want.

I don’t know what your “It’s-not-fair” moment is going to be. But I’m pretty sure you’re going to have one at some point. And when that happens, I want you to remember that a relationship with God is not simply about what you get out of the deal. Sometimes, God’s purposes are beyond our understanding. And when that happens, you’re going to need to be big enough to not throw a tantrum, and trust Him to direct your steps in His divine wisdom.

Am I too young for this Faith thing?

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In my teens, I was accustomed to thinking that ‘faith’ was for those who were older than me. Faith suited my parents and grandparents, but in my mind, I was just too young for this ‘faith thing’. In the prime of my teens, I was enjoying life to its fullest until life and its challenges introduce me to faith, faith in God.

As young people in general, YOLO seems to be most relevant to us, until we hit moments of great impact and have no idea how to deal with our circumstances. I know a few people who are still paying the consequences for things they did in the moment and if you ask any of them, they would tell you the same thing: “If only I knew then, what I knew now”.

Why should you serve God in your youth?

Your youth is your most energetic, teachable and sensitive years of your life.  Our bodies are in the best shape they ever will be, our minds are clear and sharp, our sensors are alert and sensitive, and we are determined, full of life and overtly enthusiastic.  This means that we are in perfect shape to do our very best for God in everything whether in school or at home. We are most productive and effective in our youth.

We learn most effectively in our younger years too. Especially, when it comes to religious instruction. The older we become, the more we are stuck in our own way of doing things. Our young years are also our most vulnerable years. We have to deal with peer pressure, relationships, hormones and all kinds of immorality.  Don’t you think having Christ to guide us through these battlefield years is the best decision we can make?

I think of this as a daily decision that I need to make for my life. I need to remind myself of who created me, but more than that I need to be persuaded that I have a Creator! A God who looked at the world and decided that it needed me. I was intentional and so were you!

Thousands of believers across the world have one common regret when it comes to their Salvation:

“If only they had made the choice sooner”.

 

Counter Culture at Hillsong Powerhouse Summerfest

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Last Friday we attended Hillsong Church’s young adults event called Summerfest! This was the second edition of the event held at the Hillcrest Quarry in Durbanville in Cape Town, South Africa.

We attended the event because we are shooting the second season our exciting video show called FiftyFour, and we got to meet some of the amazing speakers and attendees.

The event ran over three days – Thursday night, Friday all day, and Saturday half day. I had the amazing privilege to be at the first ever Summerfest and all I can say in comparison to last year it may have lost some of the star-studded acts but what it lacked in performance was gained in spirt. The overall feeling was that this faith based festival was aimed at taking young adults deeper in their faith journey.

The theme for the festival was centered around being a generation that is counter culture – the “thunder in the desert” generation – a generation that lives by faith and not by sight. This was a huge declaration from the young adult age group of this country.

We spent Friday at the festival and managed to snap a few people who attended the event! Check the pics out below!

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Do you have people pleasing syndrome?

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I always used to tell my friends ‘How can you say you don’t care about what people think of you?’. To me it was such an ignorant statement to make, I mean I cared! It sort of provided me with a perimeter that I could not cross, a framework for who I was and it helped me not to do irresponsible things.

I made sure that my choices lined up with what people thought of me, I needed you to know that I was doing exactly what you thought I was doing. It affected my relationship choices, I would not date you if, according to society, you were the wrong fit. You could give me all sorts of butterflies, but what people thought about you, trumped that. My career choices revolved around people, I was so afraid of disappointing anyone, but somehow I kept disappointing myself deeply.

I was a people pleaser and never really asked the one person who really mattered what He thought. It may become so difficult to block out the opinions of people, but when you are confronted with difficult choices about your life, relationships, a career, the only choice you have to make is to ask God what He thinks. The word of God  instructs us clearly on this:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. – James 1:5

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:2

The main reason why we are always so unhappy with our choices is because we accept the WRONG opinions without asking God what His opinion is or checking whether our choices line up with His word. The voices, the gossip, the talk will always be there, but they are not what is important, they are not what matters most in this life and who cares anyway?

If you find yourself suffering from the ‘people pleasing syndrome’, you can get over it, you can get through it and you will. The very first step is putting God at the top of every list you’ve ever made.
When we are Jesus centered, we are not caught up in trying to do what will make our friends happy. We are completely focused on what will make God happy.

Living with uncertainty

The scary thing about uncertainty is that you most likely never escape it. You will always be uncertain about something, especially the future. I get anxious about taking drives to places I am uncertain of, the conversation in the car will tense up until I know where I am headed.  Sometimes it’s that very same anxiety that makes me panic about the ‘future me’ and what God has in store for my life.

This might be the very first time you’re a mother, a wife, a student or perhaps you just about at the brink of starting your career. There are a few things I have learned about being in a space of uncertainty:

Uncertainty is not married to negativity

Most of the time when we ‘don’t know’ we automatically assume failure, hurt or pain. I guess our human tendency to ‘flight or fight’ kicks in. This is where our anxiety is birthed, but this is not the way God intended us to live. It’s really okay that you don’t know at times, in fact, it is an opportune time for God to move!

Uncertainty demands faith

Being in this space without a glimmer of faith is horrific. That’s a strong term to use, but that’s what I have experienced. You feel hopeless and depressed and quite frankly it allows no room for positivity. I had to learn through these scriptures that my uncertainty makes room for growth. It means that I must have complete faith in God because He is the only one that knows my beginning and my end. (See Hebrews 11:6).

Uncertainty test your character

In a period of waiting you’re bound to experience some sort of frustration, and it can easily become your focus point. However, with a fresh perspective, we can experience a different kind of molding. By aligning ourselves with God’s way of doing things, we have the opportunity to not only grow our character in the spiritual sense, but also in every aspect of our lives. You’ll win at being an employee, a student, and a parent, when you learn the valuable lesson of relying on God and His strength, during periods ‘where you just don’t know’.

Uncertainty has the potential to become a powerful testimony

I was not shocked when I finally started working and had various challenges, why? Because people who have been in my shoes mentally prepared me for what was about to happen. I use the word potential because it entirely depends on how you react to your circumstances.

If you are facing a season where you are uncertain about what the future may bring, remember that you don’t need to face the unknown alone.  The bible tells us that God mapped each day before we were even created and His greatest desire is to walk the journey of your life by your side.

If you would like to know more about this security that comes from a relationship with God, please click on the link below or leave a comment.

 

Good Looking or Looking Good?

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I recently went through a massive overhaul of my closet and overall look. The next thing you’re probably thinking is why?

Well before I get there I want to give you some background to this story. I was not a big shopper and previously was never into brands and branded clothing bar one famous rhino brand. This was because I could always find the clothes I wanted in my size (I was quite massive). One thing was clear I loved a good t-shirt with a crazy design on it. Shoes were a practical thing for me I knew which brands kept my size and refused to spend more than R500 on a pair of shoes, so when I saw a pair (they were usually high tops) I bought them.

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

Clothes never mattered to me.  I always said I’d rather have cold hard cash in my pocket than look expensive but couldn’t afford to get a takeout or even buy food.

A friend of mine and I were having a conversation after church one evening and she’s turns to me and says,”You dress like a 13-year-old skater boy”. I smiled, laughed and left graciously. Inside I was slightly offended by her honestly.

Here’s the thing, I knew exactly what I wanted to do and what I wanted to look like but I wasn’t motivated to take action. Until I got up one morning and decided that I was going to change! This had nothing to do with the fact that I was single, wanted to prove my friend wrong and kind of had eyes for another girl… or did it?

4 pairs of Jeans, 5 new t-shirts and 5 pairs of shoes later it’s mostly mission accomplished. Some of my friends joke I now have a shopping addiction.

What’s on the inside counts

I was just thinking about it the other day because many people have been very encouraging about my new wardrobe selections but at the same time I’m concerned because I have changed a lot in the process. It seems that I have started being more worried about with looking the part rather than actually being the part. Instead of looking to God, I have started idolising brands and clothes instead.

This concerns me and I have to check myself because sometimes we can get so caught up in looking the part we forget to actually be the part and it all becomes a show.

I’m still working on it but the truth is that God wants us to look good like Him. Not literally (obviously!) but to be models of His style and His make because we were made in His image.

If you are going through something similar and maybe feeling the weight of trying to look good for others why not click the link below?

The side chick epidemic: Are you a sufferer?

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A side chick is typically defined as the other woman; also known as  a female that is not a male’s girlfriend, who has a friendship with the male while he is in another relationship.  The term ‘side chick’ is loosely and humorously thrown around amongst friends and even in our families. In fact, some ‘Side chicks’ have even grown proud of their title and can be heard saying things like, “I’d rather be a side chick then be stuck in a relationship” orAs long as she doesn’t know about me and I don’t have to hear about her” and of course, “It’s the best of both worlds, I am single when I want to be”.

All of this really makes for compelling arguments except that being a side chick does not really mean you’re single. You are in a relationship, ‘in a relationship’. It may be a temporary agreement, but it is still an agreement between three people. You are in a relationship. One that God is not pleased with and this is why:

1. It was never God’s plan for you to be one!

The bible may not provide direct instruction on dating, but it does speak about courtship. A man of God should not be putting you in this situation and you should not be accepting it as the order for your life.

2. Being a side chick resurrects the ‘old self’.

It is said that the greatest benefit of being a side chick is that there are no expectations. Wrong. The flesh is fueled by expectations, lust, pleasure, gratification are all characteristic of your flesh.

3There are three victims in this cycle

You may be a victim, but he is too and so is she. Hurt people are likely to hurt other people. It may not happen simultaneously, but this won’t end well.

4. It opens the door for demonic spirits.

Ask yourself how does being a side chick add to you maturing into a wife? Does it complement what God is raising up inside of you? Making this choice in your life could have really bad implications for the ‘future you’. A low self-esteem, torn character and a negative self-image.

5. You become guilt ridden.

Especially in those moments where you find yourself alone, without ‘him’. This guilt comes from being the object of sin against another woman. Often, the guilt you experienced feels like a one-way street. A burden that was never part of God’s plan for you.

6. Being a side chick has an expiration date.

This has to be the most frightening and saddest part of it all. The entire ‘agreement’ could end  as abruptly as it started. You were secretly in a relationship in the beginning and now you are strangers.

It’s not worth the while. It’s not worth delaying your God ordained purpose. If you are single in this season ask God what it is He wants you to learn. I have learned so much about myself, in my quest for God’s best.

Single, independent and born again

It’s proving to be quite a daunting task for a single, independent, born again Christian woman to live in an “I-don’t-need-a-man-to-make-it-happen” society.

Graduating from varsity came with a new sense of empowerment. Getting my own car added to that, and finding a really good job, put the cherry on top of the cake. I imagine that this is exactly what my parents envisioned when they instructed me to be independent. But when you really believe in God-ordained love, carrying this tool box of self-empowerment could be toxic to what you decide to do next.

I never found the process of gaining my independence problematic. However, what was really disturbing to me was that it had the potential of becoming self-consuming and damaging to who I truly am: A child of God.

As a child of God, I am never truly independent. I need Him; I desperately need Him. He needs to help me guard my heart against the pride of my successes, to keep me from becoming arrogant. I need Him to grant me the strength to go to work every day to accumulate wealth. I need Him to guide my decisions, because when I place my choices in my own hands, my life is in such a vulnerable place. I need Him because although I am single now, I won’t always be. So I need Him to help me be someone’s wife. The training starts now. Still, I can be single and powerfully so! It’s a fantastic freedom and it’s an ideal opportunity to do your best for God. 

What will you have left after you have done all you can to empower yourself? Who will you pay homage to for your success? Who will you share it with?

God can do so much more with our lives, hearts, and futures when we leave it in His hands. You may have planned to live a life of independence, where it’s really just you, but when last have you stopped and asked Him what He prefers for you?

I want to be a strong independent woman, yet soft enough to submit to God’s voice, gentle enough to let Him take the lead, and humble enough to appreciate and acknowledge the importance of those around me – even when I don’t have an immediate need that requires the presence.

I am a child of God.

All Eyes On the MTV Africa Music Awards 2016

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It’s that time again!!! And it’s all happening in Johannesburg, South Africa
Africa’s top musicians will share the stage with International artists at the MTV Africa Music Awards, later this month. This spectacular event takes place on 22 October at Ticketpro Dome.
Hosted by one of SA’s top comedians, MAMA’S will definitely be a huge hit!

You can vote for your favorite artist on http://mama.mtv.com/voting/

Here are the nominees…

Best Male

AKA (South Africa)Black Coffee (South Africa)Diamond (Tanzania)Patoranking (Nigeria)Wizkid (Nigeria)

Best Live

Cassper Nyovest (South Africa)Eddy Kenzo (Uganda)Flavour (Nigeria)Mafikizolo (South Africa)Stonebwoy (Ghana)

Best Group

Mi Casa (South Africa)Navy Kenzo (Tanzania)R2bees (Ghana)Sauti Sol (Kenya)Toofan (Togo)

Best Collaboration

AKA feat. Burna Boy, Khuli Chana & Yanga – “Baddest” (South Africa/Nigeria)DJ Maphorisa feat. Wizkid & DJ Bucks – “Soweto Baby” ((South Africa/Nigeria)Nasty C feat. Davido, Cassper – “Juice Back Remix” (Nigeria/South Africa)Patoranking feat. Sarkodie – “No Kissing” (Nigeria/Ghana)Sauti Sol feat. Alikiba – “Unconditionally Bae” (Kenya/Tanzania)

Best Hip Hop

Emtee (South Africa)Kiff No Beat (Ivory Coast)Olamide (Nigeria)Riky Rick (South Africa)Ycee (Nigeria)

Best Pop/Alternative

Desmond & The Tutus (South Africa)LCNVL (South Africa)Shekinah (South Africa) / Kyle Deutsch (South Africa)Timo ODV (South Africa)Tresor (DRC)Best Lusophone

C4 Pedro (Angola)NGA (Angola)Lizha James (Mozambique)Nelson Freitas (Netherlands/Cape Verde)Preto Show (Angola)

Personality of the Year

Caster Semenya (South Africa)Linda Ikeji (Nigeria)Pearl Thusi (South Africa)Pierre Emerick Aubameyang (Gabon)Wizkid (Nigeria)

Best International

Adele (UK)Beyoncé (USA)Drake (Canada)Future (USA)Rihanna (Barbados)

http://mama.mtv.com/voting/

Living Loud with 5FM

Last Saturday we attended the 5fm Live Loud event at Kenilworth Racecourse in Cape Town, scheduled on a very special day in South Africa – Heritage Day!

This is one day where we celebrate all the many different cultures that come together that make South Africa great, and I thought the festival embodied that exact thing. Young and old came out to see the star-studded line up that included Black Coffee, Jimmy Nevis, Matthew Mole, the The Dirty Skirts and many more huge South African artists.

Some fans were upset as two headlining acts dropped out at the last minute but even without them the line up was great!

We attended the event because we are shooting for our exciting new video show called FiftyFour, and we got to meet some of the amazing acts.

As I stood alongside 5fm DJ Nick Hamann and watched a DJ from my home town (Ryan The DJ) perform his set live – not something a lot of DJs do these days – I felt really proud because of the vast amount of talent in our country and the willingness of the local audience to embrace and support them.

All in all it was a really cool day. I spent most of the time behind the lens of a camera so didn’t end up taking many pics of myself but here some cool photos of the event itself.

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