Saturday, December 28, 2024
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Games of Thrones Season 5

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The latest season finale of Game of Thrones Season 5 – ironically titled “Mother’s Mercy” (spoiler alert: there is [no] mercy) – has left me reeling.

Because in all seriousness, what’s the point now? Of course the story remains as gripping and thrilling as ever but, you know what? I simply cannot invest any more emotion in a show that so regularly destroys any attachment I form with it.

Characters are killed off with such routine efficiency, with such gleeful abandon, that forming attachments to them is mentally draining and pointless. This most recent season finale alone put the entire house Baratheon to bed. Gendry (AKA Chris from Skins) and other [characters] notwithstanding, Stannis, Seylse and Shireen have now joined Renly and Robert in whatever afterlife they might believe in, wiping out the proud stags forever.

And they weren’t even my […] favourites. Because as if killing off some infanticidal [guy] and his evil […] wife wasn’t enough, now I must fill a Jon Snow shaped hole in my life. This will be no small task. Because what about R + L = J? What about that, George? Care to fill in the details there? No? […]

Yes, yes, they’re just characters, I hear you say; they aren’t real. And while I agree – they certainly aren’t real – why is attachment to characters in GoT such a bad thing, given the monumental outpouring of grief for Fred Weasley, or Dumbledore in the Harry Potter series? Are all fictional characters not created equal?

And even worse, GoT hasn’t stopped at making me miss characters I love. Now, thanks to a traumatic public shaming and heroic moment, I can no longer vent my hatred on previously unforgivable characters like Cersei Lannister, or Reek (formerly Theon Greyjoy). The emotional turmoil that is the GoT franchise means I have to bestow them far more sympathy than I have previously considered, which does not sit well with me at all.

After he betrayed Robb Stark, I spent two happy seasons crowing with glee every time Reek experienced some horribleness. Schadenfreude, as they say, is a beautiful thing. Yet for reasons unknown, the GoT writers have taken even that away from me.

So while I fully intend to fanatically watch season six on its release next year, I am now firmly behind Team White Walker. Those undead denizens of the north know how to treat one another. There’s no distant relatives around to secretly arrange a wedding massacre for those guys. Plus, if they do kill anyone else worth feeling sorry for (Samwell Tarly, I’m looking at you), there’s every chance they’ll get brought back to life.

That said, the deaths of two equally unpleasant characters – the paedophile Ser Meryn Trant and Miranda, Ramsay Bolton’s mistress – have given me some comfort. Enough, you could say, to make me wait another 12 months, partly just to see if this comforting, more karmic killing streak continues.

However, no matter how many bad people die, I do still wonder what the point is. With the current body count of loved ones, there doesn’t seem to be one. However, in the end, maybe that is the point: valar morghulis, as they say.

Source: www.independent.co.uk (Edited for language)

How Do I Stop Myself From Worrying?

Imagine this scenario, if you will: It’s the middle of the month and you’ve run out of money. You don’t earn much anyway and you just heard on the news in the taxi that the price of bread, electricity and water has gone up. You get home to find your room flooded with water and you realize that it’s because there’s a leak in the bathroom. The landlord, with whom you don’t get along much, is a nasty piece of work and so you know he’ll probably try and cook up some dubious reason for you to be the one who sorts out the plumbing. Just then, your old Nokia phone with a crack right across the screen, starts to ring. You are startled by the sudden phone call so much that you drop the cell in the pool of water you’re standing in. After yelling a terrifying “WHY?!?!”, you answer the phone and you get told that your cousin just died.

For someone reading this post right now, this scene may seem like high melodrama straight out of a B-grade movie script; for someone else, this could be real life. In fact, I’m willing to bet some good money on the possibility that some people feel that this – and worse – is the story of their lives right now and often. Worry and negativity seem to be a part of life that we can’t escape. We worry about our future, our relationships, our finances and we get anxious about whether the dreams of success, joy and prosperity we’ve had from a young age will ever come true. Many times, it’s not that we enjoy worrying or find pleasure in it. We find we just do. “Well, how do I stop myself from worrying then?”, I hear you ask. Good question.

The following short video, featuring famed American preacher Joel Osteen, gives us some fascinating food for thought and provides part of the answer to that question:

What I love most about this video is how there is an emphasis on a shift of focus and the cultivation of a grateful heart. Sure, we all go through terrible situations like the one in the scenario painted above, but we all conquer or are defeated by the challenges of our lives based on what we focus on and whether we choose gratitude or complaints.

Learn with us how you can live a more grateful life and live your life worry-free through the teachings and principle of the one who said “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble”. Please click on the banner below and watch the video that follows.

Signs That A Relationship Isn’t Working

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Are you wasting your time?

Relationships usually begin with high hopes and bright expectations. The key is to not waste precious time hanging onto one that is bringing up more and more question marks. Here are signs that a relationship isn’t working, and it might be time to move on:

1. You have more confusion than clarity. 

Time should bring important insights into your relationship, so it’s a red flag if you are more confused now than you were weeks or months ago.

2. Initial attraction hasn’t led to a lasting bond. 

Being attracted to external qualities—a nice smile, a quick wit, a confident demeanor—can hold a couple together for only so long. A romance that flames out quickly might be due to a strong physical attraction with little else to feed it.

3. Your desire for “space” is increasing. 

Everyone needs individual time—that’s normal and natural. But if “me time” has become much more appealing than “us time,” consider this a clear warning sign.

4. You work hard to improve the relationship, but the other person is not making the same effort.

A healthy union needs two people who both carry their weight and invest equally in the partnership.

5. Time has revealed a mismatch in your values and beliefs. 

Be realistic about whether your respective lives and desires are pointing you in the same direction, or whether impossible compromises lie ahead.

6. You don’t share the same level of motivation and ambition. 

Whether these include career advancement, further education, or personal development, each partner should have clearly defined objectives and a plan to attain them.

7. You’ve noticed incidents of dishonesty and deception. 

Lies destroy a crucial component of any relationship: trust. The presence of lies and the absence of trust spell trouble.

8. One person is clingy and dependent. 

Few relationships are able to survive extreme jealousy, possessiveness, overdependence, or controlling behavior. Such actions and attitudes indicate that one or both people lack a solid emotional foundation.

9. Your partner is unrealistic about what is needed for long-term success. 

In a healthy relationship, the individuals acknowledge that nobody is perfect and there will surely be problems to address. Every relationship will require hard work and perseverance.

10. It’s become obvious that your career and financial goals are not in sync. 

Ask yourselves how you envision your standard of living, income, and vocational progress into the future.

11. You have put your own needs and ambitions on hold to concentrate more on your lover’s. 

This kind of imbalance will eventually leave you feeling resentful. A healthy relationship requires equality, with both individuals feeling valued.

12. More and more you wonder if there’s someone better suited for you. 

It’s normal to have occasional doubts and questions about the long-term prospects of your partnership, but don’t ignore the warning signs if those thoughts become increasingly frequent.

13. You don’t feel like you can be “completely yourself” with this person. 

Trying to change or conceal your true self is a big tip that this isn’t a good match.

14. You’re feeling an acute sense of “time urgency.” 

Regardless of your age, you’ve begun to think that the time you’re spending in this relationship could be better spent exploring other (better) possibilities.

15. As you look ahead, the vision of your future together is fuzzy. 

You should be able to envision your relationship five, ten, twenty years ahead with joy and clarity.

 

Source: youtango.com

What Does It Mean To Be Holy?

A great leader once said that a person’s intelligence is not measured by the statements they make but by the quality of the questions they ask. Another piece of wisdom, this one taken from the Bible, says that in all our getting, we should get understanding. I like to understand things. It’s not really because there is something in me that wants to know everything but, instead, I tell myself that if I pursue anything with real understanding of what it is I’m dealing with and what I’m getting myself into, I will do it with greater passion and I will last through it, even when challenges and adversity come.

Speaking then of understanding, one of the most frequently misunderstood but most used words when it comes to faith and religion, is holiness. When we really look at it, what does it mean to be holy? What’s interesting is that it is a word that seems to carry positive meaning for some, and a negative connotation for others. I’m sure we’ve heard it said about somebody, “That guy has such a holier than thou attitude. He thinks he’s better than the rest of us.” Why would a word which, for some, is all about goodness, carry such negativity to the extent that it even becomes a term of derision? The answer lies in understanding some key things about holiness that are often not dealt with.

The theological site Tektonics (tektonics.org), gives a simple but very useful definition:

“The word ‘holy’ has taken quite a semantic beating through such sayings as being stuck up (‘holier than thou’) and pedantic usage in popular culture (‘Holy Socks, Batman!’). Popularly we may suppose that ‘holy’ means ‘morally good’.

This is only part of the meaning, however. Holiness implies goodness, but goodness is an interactive part of holiness. If we may sum up the core meaning of holiness, it is not ‘good’ but rather ‘set apart’ — and therefore, good.

The concept of holiness may be related to the concept of purity, which we have previously studied here: In ancient societies, purity codes ‘are a way of talking about what is proper for a certain place and a certain time’ and involve ‘drawing the lines that give definition to the world around us…’

Holiness is itself a drawing of a boundary, around that which is uniquely associated with God.”

So, it’s clear then isn’t just about being good. There is an aspect of it – a very important aspect, actually – that is to do with making a decision to swim against the current, as it were. It then makes sense why a person who makes a decision to live differently would run the risk of being mocked. That’s just how people are. If they don’t see you fit in and do what you want them to do the way they do it, they will have a problem with it.

In the end, how are we defining holiness here? We are saying “yes, it’s about being good but, essentially, it’s about being different”. When the world culture says it’s OK to disrespect others and be profane, you choose respect and decency. You can be holy. It’s not a far-fetched, pie in the sky idea but it’s practical and it’s real life. Click on the banner below if you have questions about these and other matters or if you want to connect with the God who can show us how to be holy.

Before You Get Married

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Before someone gets a driver’s license, they take a drivers ed course, practice with the help of an experienced driver, and closely study the rule book. These are all valuable things to do, because driving without the necessary skills would make someone a menace on the roads, and a danger to [themselves] and others.

The same thought process applies to marriage as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that’s at risk from the outset.

Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you’re spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one.

Here are the 4 main skill areas you need before you get married: 

  1. Emotional self-regulation. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months (or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things), you’ve got some important learning to do.
  2. Communication. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that’s complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with “but”, or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.
  3. Conflict resolution. All couples have differences. Successful couples know how to start with a “his-way” and a “her-way” and end up with an “our-way” that they both feel good about. That’s true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your sex life passionate.
  4. Positivity. Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner’s jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express affection, you are offering “dollops” of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.

The moral of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever.

Source: yourtango.com

Is It Wrong To Look At Women?

The other day, an extremely traumatized young man ran into his uncle’s office, having just attended a meeting for Christian youth at his church. As he sat in his chair, he took a moment to catch his breath and calm down. He had something to say to his uncle. It seemed quite urgent. After cooling down and then having a sip from the glass of water his uncle had placed in front of him, he took a breath and, quite nervously, looked his favourite uncle – his father’s youngest brother – in the eye. His question, “I really need to know… is it wrong to look at women?” The older man, who had thought his nephew had come in to deliver some bad news, burst into uncontrollable laughter. Then, with the calm but caring demeanour he was known for in the family, he stood up, came round the desk to where the young man was and put his hand on his shoulder. “Let me tell you a couple of things”…

The world of relationships is an exciting but tricky one, especially when one is still young and trying to figure it all out. In Africa particularly, conversations around relationships with the opposite sex and sex itself are frowned upon and, often, completely ignored. There seems to be an assumption that young people can figure it out till they get to a certain age where words like ‘marriage’ and ‘commitment’ become more acceptable.

Our elders are right in making sure that kids don’t get involved in things they’re not ready for. The Good Book states very clearly and simply that everything is beautiful in its time. You often hear mothers and grandmothers make the statement that children shouldn’t be having children. This is true. The basis of it is true but more needs to be communicated.

When a young man comes in to ask the question “is it wrong to look at women?”, the response shouldn’t be to rubbish his question, smack him over the head and shoo him out of the room. That’s a cop-out and it’s actually a sign of poor leadership. He needs to be told that it’s natural and perfectly human and natural to look at women. However, looking isn’t something that just ends there. It creates feelings of sexual desire in him and those feelings tend to be triggered to progress to a point of being played out. It should be explained that there are consequences of one sort or another to acting those feelings out. The solution? As much as is possible, channel your focus to other areas – study, the pursuit of academic and career dreams – because, if allowed to, sex can be one major area of focus all on its own. Is that to say that sex is evil? No. But, again, the wisdom of the Bible rings true – everything is beautiful in its time.

The wisdom of the Bible is something we often paper over but don’t fully appreciate a lot of the time. As much as it applies to ‘deep’ concepts like prayer and salvation, it also is an extremely practical book that needs to be read and studied by young people and old people alike. If you’re young and looking for simple direction for your life, God and his word (often referred to as the Bible) are exactly what you’re looking for. To know more about a relationship with God, click on the banner below.

Youth Day

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Today is Youth Day in South Africa and, to commemorate the event here on 1Africa, we share an excerpt from a compelling opinion piece by Ebrahim Fakir, an independent political researcher and commentator. The piece is published in The Daily Vox.

What black power can we rally under a black majority government, when a full 40% of South Africans are unemployed?

Yes, a day for black power was the rallying call of the students of 1976 (today it is somewhat more properly known as Youth Day). But the youth have little to celebrate, when large numbers of them are unemployed.

While youth unemployment in South Africa is acute, unemployment in general appears to be one of South Africa’s most intractable problems. And in contemporary South Africa, even those who do have work are increasingly faced with the reality of the casualisation, informalisation, and the temporary nature of work that is becoming more dispersed with the outsourcing of particular roles and functions in workplaces.

This kind of regime benefits employers and owners, to be sure. They are able to cut input costs and save on wage bills and benefits paid to workers. It may have some ameliorative effect on those who are temporarily out of work who manage to get some of these jobs, but increasingly, it does not benefit society at large, nor does it tend an economy nearer towards full(er) employment.

 How did we end up here?

History and past legacies matter, no doubt. As does a politics and governance regime characterized by conflict, corruption, paternalism, patronage and hubris. Add an inappropriate policy mix and lackluster, often uncreative government performance in critical areas of the economy together with polarizing and antagonistic race relations, and mutual suspicion between an ineffective and sometimes corrupt state and a myopic, collusive private sector.

Part of this mix is the fracturing and fragmentation of a traditionally strong union federation, Cosatu, which traditionally organised workers in a social movement unionism that adopted both shop-floor issues and broader community and public-interest campaigns. Its decline has heralded both a more narrow economistic approach in the remnants of its core and the rise of more narrow economistic “independent” unions in its wake.

This is likely to create an unstable worker-employer bargaining relationship and render the collective bargaining system as a whole, unstable. A change in the character of Cosatu, with a greater organisation in the public sector is likely to see the emergence of an even more myopic business sector, with a more populist government attempting to discipline it in the absence of cohesive labor pressure. This makes for a mix ripe for social and political combustion.

The implications of the recent #RhodesMustFall campaign, and the symbolism of students whipping and beating the statue of Cecil John Rhodes as it was being removed, should not be lost.

An agenda and demand for change has been set by communities in the on average 500 protests a year over the last decade in largely African communities; there are remarkable signs all over the society, pointing to ineffective government and poor and deteriorating social relations.

Our social crisis is a poignant reminder of the unresolved issues of the inherited racial patterns of exclusion and economic distribution in our society, and the conundrum of race, (lack of) recognition of the influence and impact of the past, and the redress and new nature of reconciliation measures required to address it.

 Are we completely lost?

The reign of error expected in some quarters since Jacob Zuma’s ascendancy to the presidency of the African National Congress in 2007 and the country in 2009, has not materialized.

Mercifully, successive ministers of finance have had budgets to announce and South Africa has not (yet) spent its way into oblivion. Neither has it been saved from the vicissitudes of the global recession. Although its savings have come in the form of modest surpluses, these have been reversed since 2009 into modest deficits that have allowed the South African economy to withstand the shocks of a global recession.

But legal and regulatory uncertainty, coupled with the infrastructure and energy constraints, as well as a return to a focus on mining, extractive and other primary sectors in the economy, has served to undermine strengthening diversification and the development of areas of comparative and competitive advantage in the South African economy.

That it is not all lost, is, however, not solely attributable to a Zuma government. The modest successes in South Africa, such as they are, find their roots in a policy trajectory and tripartite social dialogue processes established before the Zuma administration, much of which his two successive administrations appear to have continued.

For the full article, click here.

 

 

 

Muslims Converting To Christianity

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There’s no question about it: we are living in pretty explosive times. Wherever you look in the world, conflict, social issues and turmoil always seem to make the headlines daily. Even in nations where everything seems to be working on the surface, if you look just a little bit deeper, you might find that not everything is what it seems.

One of the most contentious issues in the world today is religious strife. To be very specific about it, there is likely no greater competition between religions than that which exists between Christianity and Islam. Yet, according to the video below, there is the unusual phenomenon occurring, albeit under the radar, of Muslims converting to Christianity:

What are we to make of this? Is it a case of someone trying to stir the pot and worsen an already tense coexistence between Muslims and Christians or is there something real to this?

Perhaps some of the most striking words of Jesus are that he came to give life and give it in abundance to everyone who chooses to believe in him (John 10:10). He also invites anyone who believes in him to sit at the table as sons, not as slaves (Galatians 4:7).

It is possible to connect with God and have a close and loving relationship with him, pretty much similar to – if not exactly like – the relationship a good father has with a son or daughter. If you are searching for this kind of relationship, we want to share the message with you unashamedly. Please click on the banner below and find out more for yourself.

How To Sleep Better

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Feeling crabby lately? Or simply worn out? Perhaps the solution is better sleep.

Think about all the factors that can interfere with a good night’s sleep — from pressure at work and family responsibilities to unexpected challenges, such as layoffs, relationship issues or illnesses. It’s no wonder that quality sleep is sometimes elusive.

Although you might not be able to control all of the factors that interfere with your sleep, you can adopt habits that encourage better sleep. Start with these simple sleep tips.

1. Stick to a sleep schedule

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, even on weekends, holidays and days off. Being consistent reinforces your body’s sleep-wake cycle and helps promote better sleep at night. There’s a caveat, though. If you don’t fall asleep within about 15 minutes, get up and do something relaxing. Go back to bed when you’re tired. If you agonize over falling asleep, you might find it even tougher to nod off.

2. Pay attention to what you eat and drink

Don’t go to bed either hungry or stuffed. Your discomfort might keep you up. Also limit how much you drink before bed, to prevent disruptive middle-of-the-night trips to the toilet.

Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol deserve caution, too. The stimulating effects of nicotine and caffeine take hours to wear off and can wreak havoc on quality sleep. And even though alcohol might make you feel sleepy at first, it can disrupt sleep later in the night.

3. Create a bedtime ritual

Do the same things each night to tell your body it’s time to wind down. This might include taking a warm bath or shower, reading a book, or listening to soothing music — preferably with the lights dimmed. Relaxing activities can promote better sleep by easing the transition between wakefulness and drowsiness.

Be wary of using the TV or other electronic devices as part of your bedtime ritual. Some research suggests that screen time or other media use before bedtime interferes with sleep.

4. Get comfortable

Create a room that’s ideal for sleeping. Often, this means cool, dark and quiet. Consider using room-darkening shades, earplugs, a fan or other devices to create an environment that suits your needs.

Your mattress and pillow can contribute to better sleep, too. Since the features of good bedding are subjective, choose what feels most comfortable to you. If you share your bed, make sure there’s enough room for two. If you have children or pets, try to set limits on how often they sleep with you — or insist on separate sleeping quarters.

5. Limit daytime naps

Long daytime naps can interfere with nighttime sleep — especially if you’re struggling with insomnia or poor sleep quality at night. If you choose to nap during the day, limit yourself to about 10 to 30 minutes and make it during the mid afternoon.

If you work nights, you’ll need to make an exception to the rules about daytime sleeping. In this case, keep your window coverings closed so that sunlight — which adjusts your internal clock — doesn’t interrupt your daytime sleep.

6. Include physical activity in your daily routine

Regular physical activity can promote better sleep, helping you to fall asleep faster and to enjoy deeper sleep. Timing is important, though. If you exercise too close to bedtime, you might be too energized to fall asleep. If this seems to be an issue for you, exercise earlier in the day.

7. Manage stress

When you have too much to do — and too much to think about — your sleep is likely to suffer. To help restore peace, consider healthy ways to manage stress. Start with the basics, such as getting organized, setting priorities and delegating tasks. Give yourself permission to take a break when you need one. Share a good laugh with an old friend. Before bed, jot down what’s on your mind and then set it aside for tomorrow.

Know when to contact your doctor

Nearly everyone has an occasional sleepless night — but if you often have trouble sleeping, contact your doctor. Identifying and treating any underlying causes can help you get the better sleep you deserve.

This post on how to sleep better, by Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.org).

Father’s Day 2015 (Part 2)

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In a few days time (less than a week, to be exact), it will be Father’s Day 2015. That day, like any other, will come and go. Gifts may or may not be exchanged, moments with fathers may or may not be shared. Depending on who we are and how we grew up, we all have different memories and ideas of fathers. Some of us may have had the opportunity to be loved by them, encouraged by them and protected by them. Others of us were abused by them, neglected by them and we may not even have had a chance to know them or see them.

Whatever the experiences were, it does not change the fact that a father or father figure is one of the most important things in a person’s life. A father, whether he does his job excellently or poorly, shapes so much of what his child becomes in life. As we see in this video from yesHEis Africa in partnership with Joy Magazine, it doesn’t matter how young or old you are:

As we see from this moving video, all hope is not lost for us if it happened that we had a bad or nonexistent relationship with a biological father. There is a Father who is there and wants to be there for us if we will allow Him the space in our hearts. He has the capacity and will to mend our broken hearts if our physical Dads messed them up. If we are fathers and want to learn how to do the job right, He is the perfect role model.

If you want to connect with God and understand what we mean when we refer to Him as a father, please click on the banner below and watch our video.

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