Wendy Grages, Author at 1Africa

What being a mom tells you about God

Wendy Grages

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May 12, 2016

Do you know that being a mom has taught me things about God? Let me explain: This year is a big year for me! I’ve been married for 17 years; my son turned 16, my daughter turned 11, and I am expecting a little baby girl in a few months! I am excited for all the new season has in store but I find myself having to be reminded of what I have already learnt from being a mom because I feel like I have forgotten it all!

Being a mom has matured me, softened me, made me less selfish, and has taught me how to love in a way I never imagined. It has been the biggest blessing in my life to raise little gifts from heaven. But never did I think that being a mom would tell me things about God.

So here’s three things I have learned from being a mom:

My children were not my idea, they were God’s idea: We can plan, but ultimately, God is the author of life and He has chosen these children to be mine and for me to be their mother.
Sometimes you have to take one for the team: A few weeks ago, after a long day at work, I realised I had to bake cupcakes for my daughter’s class. It was honestly the last thing I felt like doing but as I was stirring the batter, I sensed God whisper into my heart, “Wendy, sometimes you have to take one for the team.” As a mother, I have to be willing to pay the price sometimes for the sake of my children.
I am only a seed planter: I am responsible for planting good seeds into my kids’ lives on how to live and how to follow God. Our children are our legacy and we have the responsibility to lead them in the way they should go. But I realized some time ago I can’t control them, I can just plant them. Plant good things in them, plant them in the right environments, and leave the harvest up to God.

So what has this taught me about God?

You were God’s idea

One of my favourite scriptures is found in Psalm 139:13,16: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb… Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Because you were God’s idea you can trust his plan for your life.

Jesus took one for the team

He paid the ultimate price to set us free and bring us back into personal relationship with Him. Because He paid this great price, you can trust his love for you.

God has planted seeds of greatness in you

Just I like I can’t control my children, God doesn’t want to control you but He does want to see the seeds He’s planted in you harvest into greatness. Because God has planted seeds in you, you can trust that there’s greatness within you.

Whether you are a mom, or have a mom, I pray that this post will encourage you and tell you more about God. To explore this further, please click on the link below or pop up banner.

How to know if you’re stuck in a dead-end job

Wendy Grages

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May 10, 2016

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How to know if you’re stuck in a dead-end job

We all know that Monday morning feeling, when getting out of bed to go to work is the last thing you want to do. But what if every day feels like a Monday? Is it maybe a sign that you’re stuck in a dead-end job?

No job is perfect – we all have our good days and bad days. But how do you know that your career is going somewhere? How do you know if you’re in the right place, doing the right job? If your time at your job is over, how would you know?

Here’s a few tell-tale signs:

You no longer have a vision for your job: When you first started, you were excited to go to work. You could see yourself working there years into the future. Maybe you even had a position or department you had your eye on for the future. But now, you can’t even see yourself working there next week. If your job doesn’t spark vision for your future there, it may be a sign you’re stuck in a dead-end job.
You no longer believe in what you do: When you first started, you were so excited by what your company or department did. You would talk to friends and family about how great the company is and how important the work you were doing was. But nowadays, you have no passion for what your company does or what they stand for. If you no longer care about what your company does or you can’t see the value in their contribution to our world, it may be a sign you’re in a dead-end job.
You aren’t getting any new responsibilities: At most companies, there are more tasks that need to get done than there are people to complete them. I know at my organisation, we are always looking for people who can carry more responsibility. If you haven’t been given any additional responsibilities in quite some time, it may be a sign that you’re stuck in a dead-end job.

Good jobs are hard to come by and we should be grateful for what we have, but our jobs are where we spend the majority of our time and it should be an environment that challenges us, realises our full potential and gives us vision for our future.

If you are in a job and you don’t feel like it’s going anywhere, why not take some time to pray and ask God what your next step should be. Perhaps posting your CV online or browsing available jobs is a good place to start.

See what doors God opens for you, knowing that He loves you and has great plans for your life!

Does prayer work? (Part 2)

Wendy Grages

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May 6, 2016

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Last week I posted a blog asking a very important question, “Does prayer work?” Today I am carrying on that thought and I believe it will help you. (To read last week’s post, click here).

We saw from that great verse in 1 John 5:14-15, that if we ask anything that is in line with God’s will, then He hears us and answers us. That’s really great news but is that all there is to it? If I know that God’s will is for me to be financially blessed, then if I pray for $1 million, He’ll answer me right? Well, not necessarily….

There are four fundamental truths that we must always keep in mind when it comes to God answering our prayers:

He loves us and will always do what is best for us: Even if we can’t see it or don’t understand it, God knows what is best for us and will always do that, even if it means He seemingly does the opposite of what we pray for.
His timing is not like ours: Many times we pray for financial blessing or a promotion at work. After all, it is God’s will for us to be blessed financially, right? Well the answer is yes, but nowhere is it promised to be an overnight solution. God bringing financial blessing could look like us getting more disciplined in our budget and not wasting our money. Getting a promotion or a pay raise at work may look like God opening up an opportunity to earn extra money. Very rarely do these promises fall out of the sky, very often it takes some effort, discipline and patience on our part to see God’s promises fulfilled in our lives.
Prayer changes things: Prayer will either change the circumstance or it will change our perspective on how we view it. Either way, something’s going to change when we pray.
God always answers: God answers every prayer in three ways. His answers are “Yes”, “No” or “Not now”. That is good news because if we believe that God is all-knowing and He loves us unconditionally, then even an answer of “no” is the best thing for us.

It all comes down to trust. It’s our job to pray, and then to trust that however God answers, it’s the very best thing for us.

Prayer takes our focus off our situation and places it on God. Prayer is powerful and miracles can happen when we pray!

Why not make prayer part of your daily routine? Whether you take a walk and pray or you pray while you drive, prayer is an amazing tool to bring us closer to God and to see things shift in our lives.

Have you prayed today?

If you know you are far from God and want to come back into relationship with Him, we would love to explain how you can do that today. Simply click on the link below or on the pop up window.

I am praying for you!

What porn will teach you

Wendy Grages

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May 4, 2016

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Watching porn in any form will teach you many things.

Unfortunately, by the time you realise this, it may be too late and the damage done, irreversible.

Here’s some staggering statistics:

64% of men view porn monthly
90% of 8 to 16-year-olds have viewed porn online (mostly while doing homework)
56% of divorce cases involve one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites

No matter how you look at it, pornography has infiltrated our society and thanks to the internet, it has found it’s way into our homes.

When I was young, the only pornographic material available was sealed magazines that required you to be 18 years old to purchase it. Pornographic videos could only be found at X-rated adult shops.

Nowadays though, it’s almost more difficult to avoid coming into contact with porn than it is to find it. We are being bombarded with it at every turn and it’s effects on our mind, spirit and emotions is ravaging.

I know this is a sensitive topic but I feel like it’s one we need to talk about. Not talking about it will not make it go away. I find that when you bring things out into the light, they lose their power.

So what will porn teach you?

It teaches you that your satisfaction is the only thing that matters.
It teaches you to want pleasure without intimacy.
It teaches you that women are objects that should indulge your every whim and fancy.
It teaches you that women are not real people, with real lives and real emotions.

The bottom line is this: There is no harmless pornography; there is no mild porn. It all has the same devastating effect on our brain and can lead to addiction even after the first view.

So what now? If the statistics are accurate, that would mean that many people reading this have viewed porn or are currently struggling with it. Is there a way out? Is there hope?

Good news is, yes there is! No matter where you find yourself today, you don’t have to stay there. There is help and resources available to get you back on a healthy emotional track.

There is a great website that has lots of resources and tools to help protect you against the onslaught of pornography as well as ways to help you break free from it’s grip. Check it out at http://www.xxxchurch.com/. Whether you need help with a porn addiction or if you’ve been affected by someone else’s porn addiction, there is plenty of help on this site.

Don’t be disheartened or feel ashamed. The first step to wholeness is admitting you need help. Bringing it out into the light will go a long way in breaking its destructive power over your life.

God loves you so much and is well aware of all the areas we struggle in. He is never far from you but so willing and able to heal, restore and set free no matter what you have faced or what you may have been involved in.

Please click on the pop up or link below to find out more.

Does prayer work?

Wendy Grages

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April 28, 2016

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What’s the use of praying? Why don’t all our prayers get answered? If God can do anything, then why do we have to pray? Does prayer even work today?

These are just a few of the questions I have asked myself and I believe the world is asking too. How about you? Have you ever asked these same questions, even if not out loud?

So is there a formula to prayer? Is there a right way and wrong way to do it? Are there specific things to say and do? I mean there are so many options. Praying out loud, praying silently, using beads, facing a wall… there are so many different ways to pray.

Is there a way to know for sure that your prayers will be heard? Well, the answer is yes! I certainly don’t have all the answers and am by no means a prayer expert, but this is what I do know:

Jesus Himself said in the Bible in 1 John 5:14-15:

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

So although I am no expert on prayer, Jesus is, and this is what He said. What can we learn from His instruction? How can we be sure our prayers are heard?

Ask according to God’s will

Jesus said that if we ask anything that lines up with the will of God, He will hear us. So what is the will of God? How do we know what to pray? Well the first step to understanding what God’s will is, is to read the Bible. It’s full of promises and explanations of what God’s will is for those who love Him and put their trust in Him.

When God hears, He answers

This is a beautiful promise found in this verse. If we pray according to God’s will, He hears us and therefore our prayers are answered. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? But it’s not always as simple as it seems. Check back next week for part 2 of this post where we will look at a few key things to know about God answering prayer.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this: See how many promises of God you can find in the Bible and begin to pray those. The more you pray, the closer you will feel to God and you will begin to see things shift in your life.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to trust. Trust that God hears you, trust that He will answer you, and trust that the answer that comes is God’s best for you.

I’m looking forward to exploring this more with you next week, so be sure to check back in.

Are you a bad parent?

Wendy Grages

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April 27, 2016

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“If you don’t do these things for your child, you are a bad parent.”

Is it just me or does it seem as though the internet is flooded with blogs that start like this?

It seems everyone has an opinion on what you should and should not be doing with your baby, your toddler, your child, and your teenager. I wonder what would make someone an expert in this field? I find these blogs make me feel bad about my parenting skills (or apparently the lack thereof) and make me second guess my parental instinct.

I recently read a blog about this very topic and it went on to say that if I didn’t pick up my child every single time they cried, I was neglecting them. It said if I didn’t let my child sleep in my bed whenever they wanted to, I was uncaring and unloving. If I made my child eat foods they weren’t fond of I was mistreating them. I mean, what has the world come to? Are we proposing that our children must dictate to us how they should be brought up? Last time I checked, we are the adults and we know best (most of the time).

The truth of the matter is that we cannot simply allow our children to have their way all the time and in every situation. If we do, we are sadly raising bratty and entitled members of society who are every teacher’s nightmare and every boss’ pain in the neck.

We owe it to our children and to society to raise balanced children who understand that it’s not always about them and they don’t always get their way.

So are you a bad parent? Take the following test to find out:

Are you firm yet loving with your child and don’t always let them have their way?
Do you provide for them to the best of your ability without over indulging their every request for a new toy?
Do you show them how to treat others the way they would want to be treated?
Do you teach them to respect and honour people in authority over them?

If you answered yes to these questions, then despite what society may tell you, you are not a bad parent – you are a great parent!

Part of the reason society is in the mess we are in is because we have a generation of people growing up thinking they are the center of the universe, the world owes them something, and they know it all.

Let’s change the tides and move away from child centred parenting to common sense parenting. The world will thank you!

It’s not easy being a parent and when I have come to the end of my rope and don’t know what to do, I turn to God for help. After all, He’s the only One who truly does know it all. To learn more about a real relationship with Him, click on the pop up banner or link below.

What’s the big deal about church?

Wendy Grages

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April 22, 2016

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“I love Jesus but I don’t go to church.” As my friend spoke these words to me over coffee, I struggled to believe what I was hearing. My friend had kept her relationship with God, but divorced herself from His bride, the Church.

So what’s wrong with that, you may ask? Maybe you find yourself in the very same season. Can you have a relationship with God without having a relationship with His church?

Let’s look at a few things the church is not:

1. The Church is not man’s idea, it’s God’s: The reason why belonging to a great Christ-centred, Bible-based church should be our priority, is because it’s God’s priority. Before Jesus left the earth, He said He would build His church, and nothing would be able to stand against it. So the church didn’t originate out of the mind of human beings, but out of the heart and mind of God.

2. The Church is not a building: The word church used in the New Testament Bible means “the called out ones” or “a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place; an assembly”. So being part of a church is not so much about the building you go to, but more about being a part of a gathering of people who are seeking to know Jesus more.

3. The Church is not an exclusive social club: The church is for everyone and anyone. It’s a place where believers in Jesus can worship Him, learn more about Him, be encouraged in their faith, and play their part to make a difference in their city. For those who have not yet put their faith in Jesus, it’s a place they can find hope, answers, acceptance, support, and love. The church is supposed to be a tangible representation of the love of Jesus to everyone and anyone. Whether that be through offering prayer, or providing food parcels, the church should be making a difference in their city.

4. The Church is not a denomination: Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, which one is right for you? There are many different churches with different expressions of their faith in Jesus. There is not one that is the one. Visit a few different churches and find one where you feel at home and can make yourself part of the family. As long as the church teaches the Bible and worships Jesus, it doesn’t really matter what the sign over the door reads.

The Bible refers to the church as the Bride of Jesus. It gives a beautiful analogy of how Jesus loves His church as a groom loves His bride. That’s why it always astounds me when people say, “I love Jesus but I’m done with the church.” It’s like saying to a bridegroom, “I love you man, but your bride sucks!” We would never say that to our friends.

So how about it? If you haven’t been to church in a while, can I encourage you to take another look at it, this time from God’s perspective? We all need a family to belong to – don’t cheat yourself out of the benefit of belonging to a family of believers. If you’ve never been to church, try a few out over the next month. I’ll be praying that you find one you can call home!

If you know you are far away from God and want to chat more about getting closer to Him, we would love to tell you more. Click on the link below or on the pop up.

What social media says about you

Wendy Grages

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April 19, 2016

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Social media is a magnifying glass. It magnifies to the world what you are doing, what you like, and who you are with. It magnifies what is important to you and what inspires you. There are not many people left in this world who do not have some form of a social media account by which they can express to the world what is on their mind.

But as much as we use social media to tell the world what we think about it, do you know that your social media activity says a lot about you, too? Here are just a few thoughts I have:

Post mostly selfies

I admit selfies were fun for a while but when I saw a selfie stick for the first time, I realised we had gone too far. If the majority of the pictures you post are of you, it may be highlighting that you are a tad insecure. It may be magnifying an unspoken need to be noticed, liked and commented about. Just something to think about…

Spouting off your opinion

I know this one may seem odd because for many people, social media is the platform where they get to share their opinion, but hear me out on this one. Many of us would say things on social media that we would never say to someone’s face or in front of a group of people. That’s because it seems that social media takes away our “think before we speak” instinct. Many people go through their news feed and post their negative and often thoughtless opinions about what others are posting. Sadly, this highlights that you may have an over-inflated view of your own opinion and feel you have the right to share it at any cost.

Attention seeking posts

It always amazes me how with some people, the only time you see them post on social media is when something bad has happened to them. If all you ever post is how sick you are, or how injured you are or what catastrophe has befallen you, it may be highlighting your need for attention. There seems to always be way more comments on negative news posts than positive posts. Why? Because the world is conditioned to respond to negativity.

Please know that there is no judgment from my side here. I am simply sharing my thoughts on how social media is changing the way we interact.

My closing comment is simply this: If social media is a magnifying glass and you are concerned about what it may be highlighting to the world, my advice to you is this: Before you post, check your motive for posting. If you feel like you need some love, affirmation or attention, there are healthier ways to get it than projecting that on social media.

A sure way to feel loved, secure and believed in is by having your own relationship with Jesus Christ. If you would like to know more about this, please click on the link below.

Can God speak to me?

Wendy Grages

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April 14, 2016

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Have you ever had a time in your life when you really needed to hear an answer that only God could give you?

I mean friends and parents are always good to get advice from, but sometimes I need an answer that only the Creator of the universe, who knows the beginning from the end, who loves me unconditionally, can give me.

So does God speak to you and me? Do you believe that you can hear His voice? Do you know that He wants to speak to you?

The first time I really had God speak to me, I was in Grade 7 and had made friends with, let’s just say, an unsavoury character. She had a bad reputation and would steal people’s lunch money at break. But she was really nice to me and I guess somehow I thought I could make a positive impact on her life. But her behaviour became worse and I remember sitting in my bed and reading my Bible. I prayed and said, “God, should I still be friends with this girl?” As I looked down and continued reading, I read this verse in the book of 2 Corinthians which says, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)” Well there it was, in black and white, plain as day. I had asked God a question and He answered me.

So how does God speak to us?

Through the Bible: The most accurate way to hear God speak to us is through the words He has already given us in the Bible. Ask Him a question and then expect Him to speak to you. Keep reading the Bible and you will find the answers you are looking for. If it’s God speaking to you, it will feel like the words are popping out of the page at you.
Through others: One of the things I love most about attending a Bible-based, Christ-centred church is all the amazing messages I get to hear. If I lean in and expect to receive something, God speaks to me through the sermon. I recently attended Colour Conference in Cape Town and God spoke three different times to me through the messages I heard. I am excited to put them into practice!

Don’t be afraid to speak to God and ask Him what you know only He can answer for you. And then be expectant for Him to answer you! He loves you and longs to speak to you and guide you into the great life He has planned for you.

To know more about a relationship with God where He can speak to you, please click on the link below or pop up banner. We would love to chat more.

The washing can wait

Wendy Grages

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April 13, 2016

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I carried my heavy load of washing into the kitchen to wash what seems like a never-ending pile of dirty clothes. Just then, my daughter was needing help with her homework and as I was about to utter those famous last words, “Not now, sweetie, mommy is busy,” I stopped myself. I put the washing down and went over to help my daughter.

The washing can wait. You know people so often say, “they grow up so fast” and although it’s something we know deep down, it’s hard to make that translate into our real everyday lives.

The truth is that although the washing needs to be done, there will always be more washing to do and I can always find another time to do it.

The truth is that my daughter will only be under my roof for so long and will only be interested in what I have to say for so long. So the washing can wait.

What about in your own life? I guess my washing basket can represent many things that keep us busy and scream for our attention, but that can wait.

So the next time you are rushing around, trying to get everything done, maybe you need to just set it down and tell yourself that the washing can wait and instead:

Make a cup of tea and sit at your table to read your Bible and pray: In the chaos of life, sometimes we need to just put down the things screaming for our attention and spend some time with Jesus.
Call a friend or family member: It’s important to make time for the people who are important to us. A quick phone call can mean so much to our loved ones.
Hold your children in your arms: With small children in the house, there is never a shortage of things to clean up. But now and then, put it down and pick them up instead. The time we have with them is so short and when they have left the house, you can have the immaculate house you are killing yourself now to have.

So the next time your washing is up to the ceiling, don’t let it overwhelm you. Make the most of every opportunity you have to love your kids, cultivate your relationship with Jesus, and remind those important to you that you were thinking of them.

The washing can wait… enjoy your life.

If you need to know more about your own relationship with Jesus, we would love to chat to you and pray with you. Just click on the pop up or banner below.

Wendy Grages

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