Thursday, December 19, 2024
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Wendy Grages

Money makes a lousy friend

It seems that everywhere we look, people are anxious to make more money. But did you know that money makes a lousy friend?

I recently had dinner with an extremely wealthy individual. They had the mansion in the security estate, drove a fancy car and wore only expensive name brands. They had worked hard their whole life to get to place of wealth.  As we continued in conversation, it became so evident that they had been chasing money their entire life.

Money seems to be the end goal today. We go to university to get a degree in a field that can earn us a lot of money. I think our background has much to do with this drive. For those who grew up with money, the goal is to keep the standard we are accustomed to. And for those who grew up without money, the goal is to make a life different to the one we grew up in.

While money is a necessary part of life, it makes a lousy friend. Many people do whatever it takes to get a hold of as much money as they can, yet at the end of it all, it fails them.

Money fails to make us happy

No matter how much stuff we buy, none of it makes us happy. Worldly possessions cannot satisfy our souls.

Money doesn’t stick around

Regardless of how much money we earn, it never seems to be enough. Have you ever felt as if you have holes in your pockets? Money seems to disappear out of our lives just as quickly as it entered.

Money makes a lousy friend

So many of us chase money at any cost. Often it can cost you your marriage, your kids and your relationships. If money is your goal, you may find yourself at the end of your life, surrounded not by loved ones but by things.

Although the individual at the dinner table had much more earthly wealth than I did, I could tell that they were not truly fulfilled. Money cannot fulfill and satisfy at a soul level. Only a relationship with Jesus can do that.

To find out more, click on the pop up banner or on the link below.

What’s the big deal about Jesus?

All over the world, we are approaching the Easter Weekend. It is the time of year where Christians remember the death of Jesus Christ. Have you ever wondered, “What’s the big deal about this man named Jesus?”

Nations have gone to war over Jesus and people have lost their lives because of their faith in Him. Much can be said about who He is, where He came from and what He came to do. But for today, in light of Easter, I wanted to share just a few things about who Jesus is.

Jesus is Saviour

Ever wanted to be free from the guilt and shame you feel when you mess up? Jesus is the one who paid the price for our mistakes. When we put our trust in Him, we receive salvation from the penalty of our failings. The Bible says that the consequences for our sin is death, but the gift of God is a glorious life beyond this one for those who know Jesus.

Jesus is Healer

The Bible tells us that because of what Jesus suffered on the cross, divine healing can be ours. That means there is healing for cancer, pain and every type of sickness. God’s children can be miraculously healed and when we pray and believe in God’s power to heal.

Jesus is Redeemer

This might be one of the things I love most about Jesus. Not only did He pay the price for our sin but as Redeemer, He can turn our lives around. It doesn’t matter if you were the worst junkie, a prostitute, liar or murderer, Jesus is able to turn your life into something beautiful. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, nothing can separate you from God’s love. If you come to Jesus and are willing to change, He can turn your life into one of purpose and meaning.

So this Easter, amidst the chocolate candy eggs and food, my prayer is that you see and know Jesus in a whole new light. I pray you will come to know what the big deal about Him is.

To find out more about how to know Jesus for yourself, click on the link below or on the pop banner.

When you think no one sees

Who are you when no one is looking? How do you act when you think no one sees?

It’s easy to show up on time when we know our boss is waiting. But are we still on time when no one will know? I’ve been challenged lately by this thought:

“Be the person they think you are”

In other words, be the person who those who love you and believe in your think you are. Integrity is proved in the gap between who you are and who people think you are. What do I mean by this?

Be the person your spouse thinks you are

Your spouse trusts you and loves you implicitly. So be that person. Stay faithful, resist temptation and prefer your spouse above yourself. If you can do that, you will have an awesome marriage that will stand the test of time.

Be the person your boss thinks you are

Be on time, be honest, be trustworthy. Be the same awesome employee when your boss is watching and when he’s not. Be honest and do what’s right, even when no one sees.

Be the person your kids think you are

Your kids think you are fun, good and kind. Be those things. Model that for them. We don’t have to be perfect, but let’s live up to our kids’ expectations to the best of our ability.

Are you happy with the person that you have become? Is there a gap between who people think you are and who you really are? Are you proud of who you are when no one sees?

If not, we can help you. Click on the link below or on the pop up for more information.

What your friends say about you

Did you know that your friends say a lot about you? I’m not referring to what they say behind your back. Who your friends are says much about who you are and where you are going.

Have you heard the saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future?” It’s so true. You will become like those who you surround yourself with.

I remember back in high school, we were sitting through a Life Skills presentation. The teacher was up on the stage and was trying to pull a student up to their level. However, no matter how strong the teacher was, the student always managed to pull the teacher down to their level. The lesson was that it is much easier for a bad influence to pull you down that it is  for you to pull them up.

So what do your friends say about you? Who are you surrounding yourself with? To be successful in life, we should be surrounding ourselves with the following types of friends:

People who have vision

Surround yourself with friends who have a vision and a purpose for their lives.

People who will tell you the truth

Surround yourself with friends who will be honest with you. We all have blind spots, areas of weakness that are evident to everyone but us. It’s important to have friends who will lovingly point these out to us so that we can change and grow.

People who are loyal and kind

Loyalty and kindness are hard to find. In our world today, these qualities are rare. Surround yourself with friends who are loyal and kind. The world needs more people like that.

 

Friends can lead us towards our future and destiny or can take us down the wrong path. If you need wisdom and guidance on how to make right choices, we can help you. Simply click on the link below or on the pop up banner.

Why we need each other

Human interaction is a funny thing. Some days I am so annoyed and frustrated by people, that I actually just want to be alone. Have you ever felt that way? Little did I know that we actually need each other.

Do you know why human interaction is so important?

It’s good for your health

Strange but true. Experts say that human interaction protects against cardiovascular problems, stress and depression. Even though at times we can find people annoying, it turns out they are actually good for our health.

I was thinking about solitary confinement. It’s no wonder the prison system uses it as a form of punishment. Depriving people of human interaction can cause psychological harm.

Have you heard of the term Ubuntu? Here is an interesting thought on it:

For many, ubuntu is defined as “a person is a person through other people”. Originally a South African concept, it became globally recognised after Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu referred to it during his anti-apartheid campaign in the 1980s. In 2008, he explained that ubuntu was the essence of being human, meaning that a person could not exist in isolation. “We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world.”

What an incredible thought. We are designed to live life together. We are designed to learn from each other and lean on each other. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

So the next time you find yourself being annoyed by people, remember that you need them and they need you.

God created us to know Him and know each other. He instructs us in the Bible to love Him and love each other. To find out more about how to do this, click on the link below or on the pop up. It will change your life!

Does your phone control you?

Do you control your phone or does your phone control you? How would you know if your phone does control you?

I recently went to dinner with my family and a lovely family consisting of a mom and four girls sat down at the table behind us. All four of the girls proceeded to take out their phones and remained glued to them the entire time. They took a break only when their food arrived and as soon as they had finished eating, they were on their phones again. I was so saddened to see this. Here is a lovely family who spent an entire evening talking to people who weren’t in the room while ignoring those who were in front of them.

Here’s some ways you can tell that your phone controls you:

You panic if you don’t have it on you

If you go into a state of panic when your phone isn’t on you, it may be controlling you. Of course we want to be responsible and know where our belongings are but it shouldn’t bring anxiety and panic if we leave it at home by accident.

You feel compelled to document every happening in your life

I often feel like I am too busy enjoying life to take a photo of me enjoying it. Now I am all for posting pictures and events on social media but I certainly don’t feel compelled to let the world know what I had for lunch or who I went to the beach with.

You are scared of missing out

How many times a day do you check your phone? Once an hour or every five minutes? Are you scared you are going to miss something? If you find yourself picking up your phone every five minutes, try to put it away for an hour. You will be surprised how rewarding real life human conversations can be without your phone.

 

Life is short and the Bible says that we are not promised tomorrow. Take control of your phone and don’t let it control you.

If you need help in this area or are interested in knowing more about what happens when you die, click on the link below or on the pop up.

Reaction versus response

Do you know the difference between a reaction versus a response? In our lives, we all face different situations that can trigger an emotion in us. It could be anger, frustration, anxiety or fear. There are two ways in which we can deal with these things. We can either react or respond. The choice is ours.

You may think a reaction and a response are the same thing. But they are not. Recently I was walking with a friend and we were talking about a situation they were facing. They turned to me and said, “I’ve decided not to react, I’ll rather respond.” It hit me so profoundly that there is actually quite a difference between the two. Here’s what I mean:

Reaction requires little forethought

When we react to something, it’s often the first thing we think or feel that comes out of our mouths. For instance, if someone gives you a fright, your natural reaction is to scream or jump. Reactions often happen automatically and we may be shocked by what comes out of our mouths.

Responding takes time

If you are going to respond to an email, it takes a lot more time than if you just react to it. Responding requires the discipline to stop for a moment, gather your thoughts and think through what you want to say.

Very often, the key to success in relationships in our lives is knowing the difference between a reaction and a response. If we can react less and respond more, we will get along with more people and enjoy great friendships with those around us.

The next time someone cuts you off in traffic or sends a snotty email, take a minute and decide to respond rather than react.

Self-control plays a big part in our ability to respond instead of reacting. I always need God’s help to respond correctly to those around me. If you need help in this area and want to get closer to God, simply click on the banner below or on the pop up.

Conflict in marriage – when you want to kill your spouse

We all face conflict in our marriage from time to time. In fact, conflict in marriage can be healthy if handled correctly. It can help you to grow as a person and strengthen your marriage. Conflict in marriage can also be disastrous. In a previous post, I wrote about who wins and who loses when it comes to conflict in marriage. You are welcome to have a look at it by clicking here.

Because we love our spouses so deeply, our emotions run deep when it comes to conflict. If you’ve only been married a few months, you may not yet know what I am referring to. But if you have been married for a few years, you might agree that there are times you want to kill your spouse. Hopefully not literally, but certainly figuratively.

So how can you survive conflict in your marriage? And not just survive it, but use it to make your marriage stronger.

Die to self

This may be a foreign concept to you. But dying to self means you take a step back and take the focus off of your wants and your needs. Dying to self means that you esteem your spouse and prefer them above yourself. This certainly requires of level of selflessness. But if you understand that in marital conflict there are  no winners and no losers, then this will become easier to do. When you realise that your spouse loses then you lose too, it will be easier to put them first. Because as they win, you will win too.

Please understand that I am not referring to being a doormat and allowing your spouse to walk all over you. I am talking about being the first one to make a move.

Be the first to say sorry

When an argument gets out of control, be the bigger person and say sorry. If there is some tension between you, be the first to reach out for a hug.

As you love and honour your spouse in this way, you will see that their heart will soften towards you. I believe your marriage can grow stronger when you learn to manage the conflict well.

Marriage is a selfless journey. As we are naturally selfish beings, we need God’s help to love our spouses effectively. To know more about a relationship with God, click on the link below or on the pop up.

Conflict in marriage – who wins, who loses?

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Whether you’ve been married for a few months or a few years, the truth is you will face conflict in your marriage. When this occurs, who wins and who loses?

The more you love, the more you hurt. This means that the closer you get to your spouse, the more power they have to hurt you. As the years go on in your marriage, you will have small arguments and massive blow-ups. It doesn’t matter who you are, we all face this in our marriages. Most of us know how to handle small arguments or annoyances. But how to do handle massive conflict?

Protect yourself

Most of the time, our initial reaction is to protect ourselves. We can lash out at our spouse to make ourselves feel better. Or perhaps we put distance between us and stick our spouse on the couch for the night? The other way of protecting ourselves is to shut down, becoming cold and distant.

Although we may think we are protecting ourselves, the truth is we are not. You see in marriage, there is no such thing me versus you. Me becomes we as the two of us have become one. In fact, the Bible talks quite a bit about marriage and explains that when a husband is joined to his wife at their wedding, the two of them become one entity.

This means that emotional pain and anguish that you inflict on your spouse will actually hurt you as well.

That is why I propose that when it comes to conflict in marriage, there are no winners and no losers. If one wins, both win. And if one loses, both lose.

Think about that the next time your spouse makes you angry. For practical tips on how to survive your next fight, look out for my next post on how to deal with conflict in marriage.

If you are facing a tough time in your marriage, prayer is very powerful. If you would like to know more about knowing Jesus for yourself, we would love to chat to you. Click on the pop up or banner below.

Is God faithful?

Have you ever been faced with a difficult situation and wondered to yourself, “Is God faithful?” It becomes increasingly challenging to keep believing that God is faithful when your circumstances say something different.

I know many people who desperately cried out to God for a miracle and yet their situation remained unchanged. There is a lovely girl I know who volunteers at her church during the week. Her car kept breaking down until finally it wouldn’t run anymore. She had no finances to fix it and could not get to church or to her job. You would think that God come through for her since she volunteers at church.

Another example is of a young man who is passionate about following God and serves him faithfully. He left a successful job to serve God full-time in worship ministry. His funds ran out and he did not know how he was going to be able to pay his next month’s bills.

So what can you do when you are waiting for God to come through for you? It’s easy to become discouraged and despondent. When faced with circumstances like this, the temptation is to give up and try to make a way yourself. But is that the right thing to do when God has called you to something? Is the answer to give up and give in?

What should you do instead?

  1. Keep believing that God is true to His promises.
  2. Keep praying according to God’s word.
  3. Keep going in what God has called you to.

I love this verse in Philippians 1:6, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

The truth is that God is faithful. No matter what our circumstances tell us, God is and always will be faithful.

The young girl I mentioned earlier followed those three steps. She kept believing, she kept praying and she kept going. I am happy to report that someone offered to pay for her car repairs out of the blue. She couldn’t believe it! God is faithful.

The young man I mentioned also followed these steps. He just posted on Facebook that someone anonymously deposited money into his bank account. Guess what? It was exactly the amount he needed to pay his bills for next month. Incredible, isn’t it? God is faithful.

If you are far from God and would like to know Him and His faithfulness, click on the pop up or on the link below.

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