On Wednesday I played my part and voted in South Africa’s local elections. While standing in line (which was taking longer than usual) I had the opportunity to do some people-watching and was extremely surprised how obviously predictable we are becoming in a social context. Put a whole lot of strangers in the same place with nothing to do and they will all turn to their trust crutch – the one thing that makes them feel important and safe and valid – their phone.

As the first generation to grow up around the cellular phone, we have become allergic to awkwardness. It has got to the point where we would rather fake interaction on our phones to avoid any sort of contact with those in our personal vicinity.

Now I don’t think that this is an area to be judgemental in. I do it, and I know there are a few very valid reasons why we turn to our phones so quickly. It is just an interesting phenomenon that I believe could be robbing us from a really rich, way more interesting life!

A few reasons why we avoid awkwardness:

  • It highlights our insecurities
  • It requires us to be open to rejection
  • It may mean speaking about things you’re not used to
  • It may mean engaging with someone you might not ‘like’

But the thing is, with the world becoming ‘smaller’ because of internet, our social worlds can become smaller and smaller as well. Only “connecting” with a select few people can completely cut yourself off of the awesome opportunities that awkwardness brings.

Here are a few pros to awkwardness:

  1. When you are in awkward situations, you become uncomfortable enough to be proactive. Having that conversation, or stepping out first, makes you the one in control of the conversation. You immediate have the attention and respect of everyone else who may feel awkward at the same time.
  2. When you are in awkward situations, you grow in confidence. Avoiding discomfort will keep you weak. Just like exercise is uncomfortable but beneficial, like medicine is not pleasant but helpful, like work is not the most fun but vital – awkwardness may seem horrible at the time, but it is the only way to build your self-confidence.
  3. When you are in awkward situations, you will have amazing stories to tell in other awkward situations. Whether it goes well or completely folds, social situations that require you to step out will give you some amazing anecdotes that everyone will be able to identify with: “You know that moment when you waved back at someone but they were looking at a person behind you.” Everyone feels awkward at some point. But less and less people are actually pushing past it to engage with others.
  4. When you are in awkward situations, you are setting yourself up for the biggest life opportunities. If you feel awkward about friends, how much more awkward would you be with someone you would like to date? What if you really respected someone but couldn’t get past the awkward moments in your head? It starts with the small things. Don’t be glued to your phone. Don’t default into introversion. You never know what awesome friends and opportunities lie on the other side of your awkwardness.

Embrace the awkward! I can tell you that you are only going to feel better about yourself on the other side of the social discomfort you encounter. Seven years ago I was so intimidated by people that I would walk around with my head down. I kept myself to myself – which was the most selfish way I have ever lived. The moment I started to open up to the possibility of others in my life, the better I started to feel about myself and the less power people’s opinions had over me.

One safe place to get to know people and flex your awkward “muscles” is in church. I don’t know if you have ever tried to know God or see what that kind of community is like, but I can tell you I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. Click the link below if you would like to find out more. It is the least awkward decision you could make today!