I had a friend who loved the idea of being in love, therefore, she only dated someone for a few months before upgrading to another new exciting partner. This meant that she never had any real long-lasting commitment or investment in those relationships, and often just bounced in and out of relationships. Whenever, she found herself single, she always longed to be another relationship. She loved the idea of being in love, of being pursued, she loved the chase of it all, and the mushy butterflies that came with those fly by night relationships.
There are some individuals who want to be single, and are quite happy to be single. Then there are others who fall head over heels in love with someone and want to put a ring on it like it’s nobody’s business. Then there are those who love the idea of dating, but don’t really love the commitment that comes with investing in a long-term relationship.
What do you really want?
If you had to look over your track record when it comes to your dating life, are you looking for those fly by night fleeting relationships, or are you looking for something more and not quite sure how or why you can’t get there?
I think in essence after a while as humans we long for emotional connection and intimacy, a safe place where we feel loved, and where we feel at home. However, this mature love is something that blossoms with time, it doesn’t happen over night. It needs to be cultivated, nurtured, and it needs patience, time, and devotion. Therefore, I think it is always important to know what it is you are wanting out of relationships, or if you even want to be in one to begin with. Always know where your heart is at, and make wise decisions out of that space.
Does fear propel you?
My friend who struggled with her dating life, had deep internal issues when it came to trusting men. She feared that someone would break her heart, therefore, before anyone could fall head over heels – she would put it to a rather abrupt ending.
Fear propelled her to keep on running and to keep on chasing the idea of love. Let faith and love lead you instead when it comes to relationships, as opposed to fear. You will be happier and braver for it.
You deserve real love in your life
Sometimes, we believe the lie that we are not deserving of real authentic love. That’s maybe why sometimes we run from it, or avoid it all together. It may seem too good to be true, and a bit fantastical and far-fetched. Real love grows and develops over time. Real love requires commitment, faith, time to learn and discover from one another. You are deserving of that kind of love, both in the sowing of it and in the reaping the benefits of it.
Choose well, choose wisely, and lean in with everything that you’ve got! And remember, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, with perfect people in it. Rather, it’s about imperfect people finding ways to grow individually and together as a couple, despite imperfections and flaws. Just willing hearts wanting to make it work.