The Man in the Mirror
One of the aspects I love most about being a parent is the unexpected things children bring into your life and the way they challenge you to be a better you.
My eldest daughter is in her second year of primary school. She’s loving it and I’m loving seeing her grow and become her own person. Part of the focus for the whole school this year, are four key values that they want to encourage in their students. The teachers have chosen Honesty, Integrity, Compassion and Respect. As Mom, I love that her school is interested in more than just reading and writing. While academic skills are very necessary, strength of character and the ability to treat others well are vital for anyone going out into the world and hopefully helping to make it a better place.
The buck stops here
I firmly believe that while teachers and educators play a huge role in a child’s education, the primary educators should be their parents. Because of this I’ve been thinking about how I can reinforce these values in my child and will be looking at a different character trait over the next four posts to find ways to encourage and nurture these valuable qualities.
Integrity – a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility. An unimpaired condition: soundness. The quality or state of being complete or undivided: completeness
Integrity is one of those words that is used all the time, but if you ask for a definition you may well get multiple answers, all slightly different. When explaining something like integrity to a child its best to keep it simple and make the quality easy to grasp. It’s hard to be something if you don’t understand it. The writer C.S Lewis described it this way:
“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching”.
So how, as parents and caregivers, do we teach children how to be more integrous? Here are a few ideas to get you started.
1. Do what you say
Jesus taught us that we need to let our yes be yes and our no be no and as simple as it sounds it’s the cornerstone of being a person of integrity. As adults we need to be sure that our words line up with our actions at all times and that we follow through on our promises.
2. Be transparent
It can be tempting at times to cut corners. Maybe signing that homework was completed but you’ve only done half the reading assignment because it’s bedtime. Skipping a stop street because there’s no one else on the road. These things may seem innocent or excusable but children watch and remember and will do what you do rather than what you say.
3. Take a stand
Integrity is about being consistent and sticking to your beliefs. Encourage your child to stand up for what is right even when others might not agree with them.
4. Speak it out
Make integrity a discussion topic that comes up regularly in your home. When you see someone acting with integrity or your child does something right without anyone else being aware of what they’re doing, point it out and celebrate it. Positive reinforcement is more powerful than criticism.
Let it begin with me
No one has ever been the poorer for being a person of integrity. The ability to do what is right when others are bending to the winds of popular opinion or taking shortcuts to make life easier, is immensely valuable. The world could benefit from more people of integrity and I’m certainly challenged by the thought that the limit to which my children do or don’t exhibit this character trait is largely up to how much integrity they see in me!