Words are wonderful but they can also be devastating.
I live in a house where two-thirds of the inhabitants are under the age of eight. Most days everyone (including mom and dad) manage to get on fairly well and speak kindly to one another, but there are times when this is not the case. When tempers flare and frustrations boil over, the words that are used can become unkind and damaging. It’s disturbing to see how easy it is to use language to maim and cut down. To try and curb potential damage caused by unguarded speech, we have banned words like “stupid,” “ugly,” and “idiot,” and name-calling is most certainly not acceptable.
My go-to phrase on these occasions is the age old wisdom, handed down over generations: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It sounds so simple and maybe even a little childish, but so many rashly spoken words or overly harsh criticisms could have been avoided if the speaker had stuck to this piece of advice.
Sticks and stones
In the heat of an argument it’s easy to forget that sometimes what we say can outlast the offence and can leave permanent scars. It’s a fallacy that the things we say hold little or no power. Words can wound deeply, names and labels stick like glue, and one angry word has the ability to destroy years of trust. The Bible tells us:
Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Think before you speak
There is an acronym that is used by some to judge whether what they are about to say is appropriate, or worth saying at all. It looks like this:
T – is it true?
H – is it helpful?
I – is it inspiring?
N – is it necessary?
K – is it kind?
Sadly people tend to decide that if the thing they wish to say is true, then that’s good enough, but they fail to consider the other elements that are just as important. Just because something is true doesn’t mean that you need to say it. Be careful with your words and THINK before you speak. Many years of hurt can be avoided if we stop and consider what we say before we say it, especially as parents. So if in doubt (or in a temper) try and remember that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.