We all face conflict in our marriage from time to time. In fact, conflict in marriage can be healthy if handled correctly. It can help you to grow as a person and strengthen your marriage. Conflict in marriage can also be disastrous. In a previous post, I wrote about who wins and who loses when it comes to conflict in marriage. You are welcome to have a look at it by clicking here.
Because we love our spouses so deeply, our emotions run deep when it comes to conflict. If you’ve only been married a few months, you may not yet know what I am referring to. But if you have been married for a few years, you might agree that there are times you want to kill your spouse. Hopefully not literally, but certainly figuratively.
So how can you survive conflict in your marriage? And not just survive it, but use it to make your marriage stronger.
Die to self
This may be a foreign concept to you. But dying to self means you take a step back and take the focus off of your wants and your needs. Dying to self means that you esteem your spouse and prefer them above yourself. This certainly requires of level of selflessness. But if you understand that in marital conflict there are no winners and no losers, then this will become easier to do. When you realise that your spouse loses then you lose too, it will be easier to put them first. Because as they win, you will win too.
Please understand that I am not referring to being a doormat and allowing your spouse to walk all over you. I am talking about being the first one to make a move.
Be the first to say sorry
When an argument gets out of control, be the bigger person and say sorry. If there is some tension between you, be the first to reach out for a hug.
As you love and honour your spouse in this way, you will see that their heart will soften towards you. I believe your marriage can grow stronger when you learn to manage the conflict well.
Marriage is a selfless journey. As we are naturally selfish beings, we need God’s help to love our spouses effectively. To know more about a relationship with God, click on the link below or on the pop up.