I am not a big fan of traditions… for traditions sake.
But I am excited – seven years into marriage – at the prospect of starting to creatively come up with our own.
Often when you get married, you inherit a whole new extended family (sometimes more than one) which can make celebrations tricky. Who goes where for Christmas? How do birthdays work? Where does the traditional New Year’s Veg out happen? And so on.
Each new family comes up with their own ways of navigating what can be delicate waters. For example, many couple I know take turns – your family this year, mine next year.
Which is great and fine and good and well and all, but also can lead to you, years down the line, realising that you have simply inherited the traditions of those around you. Which, if they are good traditions, can be a really good thing.
BUT WHAT ABOUT US?
My wife Val (aka tbV or the beautiful Val, to me) is really good at finding moments of pause and reflection in life. She introduced a beautiful tradition for us a few years ago in the advent season which is the lead up to Christmas.
We have a block letter sign that reads Eucharisteo (the Greek for Thanksgiving) and then a few lines of string that run along the walls, some teeny tiny pegs and some small pieces of card. Every day each of us have to write down one thing we are grateful for from that day. So instead of us jumping on the bandwagon of American Thanksgiving, we actually do thanksgiving for a continuous four weeks.
It’s a great way to remind yourselves, especially after a long, tiring and busy year, that there are so many things to be thankful for.
CHRISTMAS DAY EVENING
After we decided on Christmas Eve with my folks and Christmas day with tbV’s folks, all we were left with was Christmas Day Evening (I really like the sound of that). So we decided to claim it. To create a holiday tradition of our own.
This year will mark the first ever celebration of Christmas Day Evening and already it’s changed. We had the idea of just having friends over with leftovers and taking it easy at our place. But one of the key families we want to hang with has young children and it was going to be difficult for them logistically to bring them over to our place. So we just moved the whole party to their place.
So at the end of a full night and day of Christmas celebrations that people will largely be spending with family or friends, we will all converge. We will bring leftovers and dessert and drinks and have an agenda-free evening that might contain deep conversation or frivolous fun. There might be board games and there may even be karaoke. Who knows? The what doesn’t seem as important as the who, and we are very much looking forward to this who.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
The purpose of this post is not to get you stringing up a Thanksgiving Eucharisteo in your own house. It is not to encourage you to start your own Christmas Day Evening celebrations with dessert and leftovers. (Although you are very welcome to try either of those because they are two very amazing ideas!) But more importantly, to invite you to think about your own traditions. Those you already do. But maybe also something new you could start – as a couple, as a family, as a group of friends even. Or maybe as a single person if that is you.
The holidays are approaching – Christmas, Boxing Day and New Years – and so why not take some time now to consider a new tradition for one of those that you can invite others into?
It might be something you do by yourself on a day-to-day basis in the lead up to the big holidays. To quieten yourself down, to reflect, to celebrate, to remember.
Also it could be something you do with a special person or group of people. Something that takes you beyond the places you always go to. A new experience or practice or habit. So many options. I think sometimes we don’t make enough time to be creative.
So don’t miss out on this opportunity to put into place a new tradition that you can revisit every year at this time.