Stress is an age-old state of mind that is becoming way too prevalent in today’s society. There are so many different triggers that can work us up to a point where we doubt ourselves and our ability – culminating in a state of mind that can affect our sleep, our health and our relationships negatively.
I’ve recently had to sit myself down and face being stressed head-on. To be honest – I’ve been so intimidated by everything that needs to happen in the next few weeks that I have literally been paralyzed by stress. For the past three weeks I have been sick – have had to take multiple days off work, which has left me with a backlog of admin and a whole lot of deadlines piling up. In the next two weeks I need to submit a large body of writing; run prep, rehearsals and produce a full Season Show at the music school I work for, solidify and action out the creative elements for a national youth conference – all while trying to recover from a nasty flu.
The demand on me at the moment is heavy enough. I don’t need stress to keep me awake about it all as well, so I set aside some time and decided to dissect where my stress was actually coming from. Here are a few questions I asked myself. I hope you’ll be able to apply them too.
What is the most pressing problem?
Identifying the immediate problem you’re facing will help unravel the knots of issues that seem to be tightening around you. For me, the most pressing problem was feeling helpless – that there was no time for me to start.
Problem: I don’t know where to start
Solution: Write out everything you have to get done. Write out everything that must happen in your day. Start slotting in pieces of the task.
An elephant is only eaten one bite at a time…
What is the worst thing that could happen?
This highlights an issue that is way more existential than immediate. What is the worst thing that could happen in my situation?
- None of my work would be delivered, I wouldn’t be paid for the month, I wouldn’t be able to afford to live the way I have been.
Money is a key factor to stress. In our economic climate at the moment, things are fixing to get a whole lot worse – but that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to be more stressed because of it. Money definitely makes most of life work practically, but there is no worth placed on our personhood or our soul based on what we earn. If we are secure in who we are, then finances don’t have to be a source of stress. They can be the cold hard facts that they have always been.
2. I wouldn’t be able to produce creative, impressive content that would impact people.
This second ‘worst thing’ is based on my desire to impact others. It’s a self-inflicted pressure that comes from passion for what I do. I have found that identifying what you are passionate about in the midst of everything that is stressful helps you flip the anxiety into excited energy. The only way that I have been able to harness all the nerves right now has been to visualize the satisfaction of finishing this blog post – and hopefully reaching someone else who could identify with me. That translated my stress into a constructive outcome. Well – I hope it’s constructive.
What do I need to communicate?
There are very rarely any stressful situations that exist outside of relationship dynamics. The more people involved, the more stressful anything will become. In most cases the stress is caused due to a lack of effective communication. It works on three different levels:
- I don’t have clarity
This results in a stress that feeds off of insecurity. The unsure ‘boundaries’ or agenda means that you are swimming in murky grey with no solid surface to push-off from. If that’s the case, you either need to clarify your situation with the other party involved or create your own set of constraints that will enable you to move forward.
2. I haven’t communicated clearly
This stress is grown out of a questioning of character. It’s not your work that is in question – but the value of the relationship. The relationship is on the line because you have not laid out clearly everything that you bring to the table. Whether it’s organizing a lift to an event or delivering a thesis – this kind of miscommunication is lethal. It is probably responsible for most of humanity’s misfired dreams.
3. I haven’t received a response
I hate this one – where you do your best to communicate and let people know where things are at, but there is no affirmation that anything has been received let alone responded to. This stress plays on your worth as an individual. It’s in these cases that you need to be able to wash your hands and choose to be secure. If you have done all you can, the best thing is to be at peace with that and hope that others understand.
I don’t believe that God wanted us to have high stress levels in life. I believe he uses the trying times to grow us and build our character, but he never wants us to question our validity or ability due to the demands of life. If you find yourself constantly doubting and getting caught up in the emotion of it all, I want to encourage you to turn to God. He’s the only reason I can write to you right now instead of hide under my bed and pray for the world to end. A personal relationship with Jesus is literally the only thing that will keep you consistent through all seasons of life. Click on the link below to find out more.