Do you feel unloved? There…I said it. I thought of beating around the bush and making it sound all soft and sweet and make you feel all comfortable but how else should it be asked? After all, this is a rather raw subject anyway. So…do you? I have. Actually quite often in fact and it sucked! It hurt so much because it’s what I craved for so desperately. Often. And, I’m not unusual, crazy, demanding, or selfish to desire to be loved. And neither are you if you feel the same way that I did. So, I’ll ask you again: Do you feel unloved? It’s ok if you say yes, because then you’ve made peace with the way you feel, and acknowledged the fact that something is not right in your life. Are you saying then that it’s wrong to be unloved? Absolutely! Why else do you think you’ve been created? If you’ve ever been told that you were a ‘mistake’ or that you were never ‘planned for’ or that you’re now only ‘in the way’ than I’d say you’ve felt unloved! There are other horrible things that parents and family have said that may sound a bit different to those words I’ve used but are no less evil. Whichever ways they were said and no matter what age you were when you heard them, they cut so deep and it’s the kind of cut they never make a band aid for. It hurts on good days and it hurts on bad days. On the days you get hugs or a handshake; those feel good moments; not even those things have the power to heal that wound. Those moments put a plaster over the hurt, but the cavern runs deep underneath the temporary cover-up.
When you find your quiet space; that time and place when you disconnect from the world around you to just think or daydream; do you try to justify what people have said to you? You probably say things like ‘they’re probably right, I am just in the way’. Maybe you’ve said: ‘I’m not surprised they don’t love me, after what I did, how can anyone love me!’ You’ve probably made excuses for the ones that have claimed not to care for you, and you can’t understand why, but you trust them for everything else in your life so you trust that they must be right about those things they say too. When it’s really quiet…and you’re thinking a lot…those are the days it can hurt the most.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this is just 1 of those places where we’re just going to say that ‘Jesus loves you, even if no-one else does’ and that somehow must make it all ok. Now, that is a true statement: Jesus DOES love you. Actually, He loves us more that our brains can even comprehend, but that information can not be enough to pull people through. That statement must be the building blocks on which an emotional turnabout is built, yes, but the statement on its own, in the middle of your pain, simply doesn’t cut it!
I would like to add a few truths and lay that foundation even thicker, and then it’s the responsibility of each individual to acknowledge that they want to pursue the truth of who they are and who they are meant to be. That is a personal journey that you must want to take, it’s a destination you must seek out for yourself. We can suggest a ‘mode of transport’, but you must get in and RIDE!
Here’s my 2 cents worth. I am qualified to make these statements so I’ll make them and I’ll make them confidently! I know what it feels like to be unloved and discarded, I know what the end of my rope feels like and I know what hopelessness feels like. I know what it means to be alone and I know what broken trust feels like too. That’s the dirty side of the coin of life. On the clean side, the opposite is true. I’ve come to understand that there is a truth about me (and you) that cannot be changed. It’s just that people speak out of anger, hurt and selfishness and lead you to believe that the absolute truth about you is not absolute. If you believe the truth about who you are and why you were ever created and know that that truth is absolute, then the words of others, no matter how much they may hurt us are simply untrue. This is the kind of hurt that can be erased over time as we shovel the muck away and reveal the shiny truth again. The Love that God has for you and the purpose on your life is a part of God’s DNA flowing through your veins and lies and hurtful vengeance cannot take that away. You can be lead astray by lies and follow another path for your life, but it’s not the path you were destined to walk. That is someone else’s path. It leads to destruction. God’s path leads to a Final Destination of Glory. Take this truth now, chew on it and swallow it and allow it to fuel you search for truth. You know the truth, now it’s your choice to chase it. So, what’s your next move?
