Every so often I take a moment to listen to myself. Yes, that sounds weird, and maybe it is. But also, maybe it isn’t. Try it! Put yourself into the place of your greatest confident – your best friend, Mom, mentor, Grandmother – whomever. And then imagine what it must be like for them to listen to all your problems. Not great, right?
We all have problems – we’re human and problems are a part of life. This is true. However, sometimes your problem are patterns. Meaning it’s not a once-off occurrence which you deal with and then move on, it’s a repetitive issue. This is why you need to listen to yourself. What are you going on about time and time again?
It’s very important to understand how to problem solve and how to learn to identify the habits which are holding you back.
Problems
A mistake or a bad choice won’t hurt you unless it’s a really BIG problem. News flash! Many, many problems are simply a part of life and if you learn to deal with them you will become braver and more capable as a human being. The best way to become a pro problem solver is to set a process in place for the problems which come up in your life.
That way you won’t feel overwhelmed by the issues and you will have something to help you overcome them.
We must constantly be in the frame of mind to recognise problems and then deal with them accordingly.
Here is a good problem-solving process:
- See it
- Own it. Weigh your options and select your next steps
- Bring the right resources to it
- Implement these resources
- Check to make sure it’s all cleaned up
- Done!
It’s not always easy but it’s better than letting the problem persist. This is becoming a problem solver.
Patterns
Patterns are problems which come back again and again. Do you know what I mean? Bad relationships which happen again and again because you select the wrong kind of partner. Or a promotion going to your colleague not you, because you don’t speak up enough.
Patterns are the problems you think you’ve fixed only to find that you are dealing with them once, twice or more because it has become the way you do things. These patterns are something to become aware of and to work hard to change else they can steal a lot of your potential and joy.
Identify a pattern
Step 1: Name it
Step 2: Observe it
Step 3: Recognise how often it happens
Sometimes recognising a pattern in your life is not easy, that’s why I try to put myself in the ears of the person on the other side. Another easy way to do this is to have an open and honest conversation with trustworthy people and ask them if they can recognise any negative patterns building up in your life? If you are able to recognise a few then it is time to ask the questions below in order to try to get rid of the pattern.
What do I need to change in order to prevent it from happening again?
What new skills do I need to learn?
Do you think this may be life (or God) pushing me in a new direction?
What help do I need in order to figure out the answer to the questions above? Is it a person, structure, class? What will prevent the pattern from continuing?
When you play the movie forward do you see the same scene in the next 6 months, or in the next year?
Is this how you want to live your life?
If you choose not to deal with an issue, then you give up your right of control over the issue and it will select the path of least resistance. When we have things in our lives, problems or patterns then we need to rise up as people so that we can overcome them. If you believe in God you can ask him to help show you negative patterns and to give you the strength to overcome the problems in your life.