Life Happens
Life is wonderful. It can also be incredibly hard. From one day to the next you never know what’s around the corner and a single moment can change your life from one of ease and happiness to a scenario of sorrow and hardship. Sickness, loss, financial struggles, and conflict can hit anyone at any time, without notice, and none of us are immune. It’s during the hard times when a little something called compassion from those around you can make all the difference.
There is a section in the New Testament of the Bible that tells us that true religion, as far as God is concerned, is when we reach out to the orphan and the widow when they are in need. Jesus taught us that we should love our neighbour as we love ourself. He also said that our actions towards others should mirror how we would like other people to act towards us.
As I’ve written before, my daughter’s school is introducing four integral values that will help build character in their students. Having already looked at respect and integrity, I completely understand why compassion was included in the list. Along with honesty, integrity and respect, compassion can transform a person from being a selfish, insular individual into a caring and generous person.
What is compassion?
Very often when someone talks about compassion, it is used in the same context as sympathy. While these two emotions may feel similar on the surface, at its heart there is something about compassion that sets it apart and makes it much more powerful than sympathy will ever be. To feel compassion is to be aware of, and to share in, someone’s pain or suffering but also to have a strong desire to do something about it. Sympathy just feels but compassion does!
Can I kiss it better?
Children have a remarkable propensity for compassion. Have you ever seen a young child witness someone crying or getting hurt? Very often their only thought is to stop the pain or help dry tears. It’s quite moving to experience a small child being so moved by someone else’s sorrow. It’s generally thought that kids, especially toddlers, are self-centred and unconcerned with those around them, but when faced with someone who is upset, all they want to do is make it better. Sadly, as life goes on other things can crowd out the desire to help. Self-preservation, greed and apathy, if allowed, can strangle a natural desire to help others. It’s up to us as parents to help protect this God-given trait to be compassionate so that caring kids become caring adults.
Here are some ways to encourage your kids and keep their compassion alive:
1. Help others! It’s the simple things that can make the biggest impact. If someone falls down, encourage your child to help them up. If it’s time to pack away toys, make it a group effort. If you see someone struggling to carry lots of things at one time, help share their load. It’s not about the size of the task but the culture of being helpful. One of the ways my daughter’s school is encouraging compassion is by collecting items, toothbrushes, small toys, and sweets to make up Christmas presents for underprivileged kids. It’s a fun way for her to be involved in making someone else’s life a bit brighter.
2. Talk about it: I’ve written before about the fact that we have people knocking at our door on a regular basis, looking for help with food and clothing. My children want to know why these people need help so we talk about the fact that not everyone lives like we do or has enough food to eat. We also make it clear that we should help them when we can, because it’s right to help others. Don’t hide the fact that people need help from your kids, use it as an opportunity to talk about how you can be compassionate.
3. Be compassionate: As mom, or dad, you have so many opportunities to be compassionate, especially to your kids. If you are creating an environment of compassion at home, it will be the norm for your child. They will take that with them into the world and show compassion to others in the same way it has been modelled to them. Let your kids see you helping out a friend in need or donating to people who are experiencing hardship. Volunteer together at a charity helping people or simply remember to be compassionate to each other. You’re the best role model your kids will ever see.
Compassion is a powerful thing and a wonderful gift to give to our children. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” Compassion makes us better people and makes the world a better place.