Drama Alert! ‘‘Why would a grown woman thrive off drama?’’
That’s the question Nicki Minaj posed to the writer Vanessa Grigoriadis shortly before she threw her out of the hotel room. On a side notes: Did you know Nicki Minaj demands buckets of spicy fried chicken, a gallon of lemonade and two dozen pink or white roses in her room. She also loves candles, but only ones that smell like baked goods.
I’m not convinced she’s drama free, but all the same her question is valid, a grown woman should not be a drama hotspot.
Why the drama? Drama is all well and good when it’s on TV and you can watch it from your bed, it’s not so good when it’s someone you know. I’m pretty sure all of us have encountered a drama queen or king from time to time. Someone who thrives on attention. Whose life is a never-ending rollercoaster of fights and love and everything in-between. Someone who over reacts to the smallest thing and has limited space or attention for the things going on in anyone else’s life. Yup, we all know one of those.
And it’s difficult to know how to deal with them, right? They liven up parties and crack the best jokes during staff events. They add colour to a dull day. But their insatiable hunger for attention can mean they destroy relationships and often end up resented for the chaos and selfishness which follows on their brightly coloured coat tails.
How do you deal with a drama queen?
Don’t get involved in the drama
The more you participate in the drama, the more this will encourage the situation. Don’t feed the drama. The person who is creating it probably doesn’t want your feedback anyway. If you don’t agree with them they may become aggressive towards you and angry – it’s just not worth it. If the dramatic person starts up, simply tell her outright that you won’t be putting up with it. Do this firmly without being rude or harsh. Just say: “Listen I know you’re upset, but I really can’t get involved.”
Rather give them the attention and validation they are seeking when they engage in more positive behaviour.
Change the topic
Try and divert attention. Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Do you want to go for lunch, where do you want to go?” This way, you are changing the focus and are not liable for being attacked or getting sucked into the drama.
Create Space
Remove yourself from the situation. Take a walk or go to another room. If you can’t get away then try put some emotional distance between you and the person involved. Say “I wish I could help, but I need a little space right now.”
Remember it is not your job to carry her emotional burdens
You might feel the need to “fix” or help your dramatic friend. You can’t change someone – don’t make it your problem to do so. It’s important to remember to let these kinds of people figure things out on their own and in their own time.
Limit your time
Dealing with a dramatic person can be exhausting, especially if they demand a lot of time, focus and energy. Even if the person is a friend don’t feel bad about setting a time boundary around dealing with his or her problems.
Understand the core of the issue
Understand where this drama could be coming from. Perhaps your friend was passed from parent to parent when they grew up and never felt consistent love and affection. Perhaps they were brought up in a family where you had to be loud to get people to hear you. When you understand where and why the drama is apparent then you have more patience and can try encourage your friend to work through things.
At the end of the day we all have stuff and nobody is prefect, but that doesn’t make this behaviour ok. Keep the drama for day time soap operas and go live your life, like a mature adult.