How old do you feel?
One of my favourite scenes from a movie has to be the interaction between King Arthur and this man Dennis he meets working in a field from the movie ‘Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail’ – here is just a snatch:
Arthur: “Old woman!”
Dennis: “Man.”
A: “Sorry. Old man! Whose castle is that?”
D: “I’m 37!”
A: “What?”
D: “I’m 37, I’m not old!”
A: “Well, I can’t just call you ‘man’.”
D: “Well, you could say ‘Dennis’.”
A: “I didn’t know you were called Dennis.”
D: “You never bothered to find out, did you?”
The scene is probably more fondly known for the political discourse that follows as they discuss how Arthur became king with such classic lines as: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
But for me I always loved the misdirection of the age response to the castle question: I’m 37, I’m not old.
The meaning of life
In fact I was so stoked when I finally turned 37 because for an entire year I could quote that line and mean it. After my next birthday I had to wait another four years ’til I was 42 before I could get excited about a number again as according to Douglas Adams, 42 was the answer to the question, ‘What is the meaning of life?‘ from his famous ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ novel – another classic.
When you’re young, the prospect of getting older is an exciting one. You’re not four, you are four and a half. Or almost five. Double figures seem exciting and then the teenage years.
17 is exciting because you can get your learner’s licence and 18 speaks of driving for real and being able to drink. 21 is that golden age of adulthood (in some cultures, others hit it way back at 14 even) and the twenties feel like you have finally arrived.
But then that all changes at some point. Suddenly 30 is a number that looms and once you successfully manage to make it past that number alive, the next big one to start planning celebrations for is 40 and it just doesn’t seem all that exciting any more.
Embrace where you are
We all get older. It is one of those thing we cannot avoid. We can look after ourselves better in terms of how we eat and how conscious we are of health issues and so on. But getting old happens. And it can terrify us, or we can learn to accept it and embrace it.
I have been playing hockey for probably close to 15 years after a long gap after school. And I love it. But I’ve known for the last year or two that I am coming to the end of my time on the field. At least at the semi-competitive level at which I was playing with my club. The spirit is willing but the flesh is getting ever so weaker. And while it’s not something I particularly want to face, for the sake of the rest of the players on the team I had to.
So this last Saturday I played my first game with the Masters team. (You have to be 35 to play for Masters and I’m 43 so you can tell I’ve been putting it off). I was quite nervous about playing with a bunch of old guys (we have a 70-year-old on our team!) but I absolutely enjoyed it. It was also the first time I’ve been shouted at for being off the field and some poor old guy was kicked off so I could be brought back on to the field.
I moved from struggling to be fit enough to keep up or match my opponents to being someone the team will look to, to score goals. It was a change that needed to be made and I made it and I’m embracing it and it is good. There will be a day when I can no longer play for the Masters team either, but for now I’m learning to embrace where I am.
The advice I would give to you no matter how old you are as you read this, is to really make the most of where you are. Be aware of age as it happens but don’t let it hold you captive in fear, but also don’t ignore it when your body starts telling you something has to change. Do not try to hold too tightly onto the past of what was but look ahead to new and different opportunities that will be great in their own way.
You are only as old as you let yourself become. Your attitude about your present circumstances will help shape the enjoyment you are able to have in the season you find yourself in.