I always joke and say I’m in a long distance relationship with my best friend. It’s funny, mainly because it’s true. We’re ridiculous, but at the same time it’s beautiful to see people still remain best of best friends after 3 years of living in different continents. Usually, when people change locations the friendship which they have slowly fades, like the smell of new in a car you’ve just bought.
When my friend left to return to America I was devastated. We did everything together. We thought the same thoughts, were friends with a lot of the same people and she still to this day “get’s me,” like no-one I have ever met. When she left I felt like our friendship would be over and like most of my other international friendships after a while our lives would just be too busy to keep putting in the effort. It was very hard for me to have a good attitude about it because while I support her vision and all she desired to do I felt the loss so deeply.
The thing is we have to keep a good attitude about this even though it is very tough. We have to realise that we are lucky we know someone it is hard to say goodbye to. We have to realise that nothing will take away the memories we have had, or the time we spend together. They often say “True friends don’t say good-bye, they just take extended leaves of absences from each other”.
Losing your friend isn’t easy but it does not have to mean the end of the relationship. The first mistake people make is that they cling onto the distance between them, and they don’t look for small options to stay in touch and maintain their friendship. These small things can make a big difference.
Send each other photos
I love getting fun picture of my friend and seeing what she is up to. When you trade pictures it’s as if you trade pieces of each other’s life. It’s not the same to not see each other – Facebook is there, instagram is there and so is snap chat. These social media platforms can be annoying but they can also be a great way of keeping up to date with your friends around the world.
Chat whenever you can
We have such great chatting tools at our disposal. Chatting means you don’t have to be in the same place, you can share things about life across the distance. Send messages as you are going to the shops. Send messages as you are waiting for someone in a queue. These messages don’t always have to be something formal but they are a way in which you share the little things that are going on in your life. It’s the people who know the day-to-day details that are the ones which really matter to you.
Talk while you are doing things
Chatting is good, but actual talking is even better. You can’t stay in contact with someone without talking regularly. This can be difficult with time zones and other commitments but try to figure out a way around it. Talk when you are on a long distance trip. Talk when you are making lunch. Talk about the important things, and exchange ideas on topics. Talk about the less important things and laugh about life.
Share secrets
One of the things that often slips when you are miles away from each other is the sharing aspect of a friendship. Share secrets with each other. There is nothing that builds a friendship like sharing information that only the two of you know. Knowing you can trust the other person in a friendship with things you care about strengthens the foundation of the friendship despite the distance.
Make an effort to overcome the challenges and see each other whenever you can. Despite travel times you can try to see each other. If it’s important you will make it happen somehow. SOMEHOW. I have saved up for a year so I can buy a ticket to the USA to visit my friend and she does the same. Long distance relationships are a lot of work, but when you love the person on the other side it is worth it.
I hate that my friend is so far away but somehow we’ve managed to keep the “magic”, care about each other and make the distance work for us. You can too!