One of our dogs had to go to the vet to get an operation and left the home for a few days. While she was gone, our other dog, Bullet, was at home by himself. You would think he would be excited to have all the attention for himself, but it wasn’t that way. Instead, he was sad. You could tell by watching him look at the gate with mournful eyes that he missed his friend.
We all need friends.
As you go through life, you will make many friendships. You will gather many people and hold them close to your heart. Your friends will make your worst days better and your good days the best. They will help you through the tough times and hold your hand when all you need is someone there. They will celebrate with you in the good times. There really is nothing on earth like a good friend.
There are some things, we believe about friendships, however which aren’t true. These things can create false expectations in our friendships which lead to disappointment and broken relationships. We all need good friendships in order to be happy and healthy people so these friendship myths are good to pay attention to so we can have many great friendships throughout life.
We will be friends forever
When someone is close to you, it feels like you should be friends forever. This expectation isn’t always fair on a friendship. Sometimes a friend will move far away and although you will remain friends, the nature of the friendship will change. Sometimes a friendship is not healthy and instead of you feeling like you need to “make it work” the best option is to step away.
Friends don’t need boundaries
All relationships need boundaries. Boundaries protect relationships and keep each of us secure and balanced. If you feel like you are being a nasty person by setting boundaries in a relationship, this isn’t correct. When a friendship is draining then decisions need to be made in order to keep the friendship life-giving instead of life draining.
Friends must always be there for each other
It’s great to have a friend who is always there for you, but sometimes you have to remember that your friend is a person too! It’s never a good idea to always burden your same friend with the hard things you are going through and expect them to always help out. At times our friends have their own challenges and can not be there for us like we want them to. Sometimes you need to talk to other people or go for counselling to keep your friendship healthy.
Good friends never fight
Everyone will have fights in life. The issue with friends is not whether or not you fight, but rather how you fight. Do you try to understand each other’s view? Are you personal or do you approach the issue with an as rational view-point as possible? Do you forgive and forget or do you hold grudges? Why don’t you sit down with your friend and create some guidelines as to how you will deal with things when they become difficult.
Friends must be the same age as you
We often end up being friends with people who are similar to us but there is no friendship rule. Any person can be friends with another person no matter what age, race or background they have. Don’t write off people who are different to you, but accept these friendships and grow from them as they can offer you different perspectives and bring value to your life.
Good friends support all your decisions
A good friend will challenge you when you need to be challenged. We often think a good friend is a supportive friend, and this is true. However, if you are about to do something dangerous, a good friend would not support you but would advise you against making this decision. Create a culture in your friendships where you are able to have healthy conversations about things and challenge each other without taking offence.