This past weekend gave me so much to think about. I’ve been going through a really tough time and I’ve been digging really deep to try and find out what God wants me to learn from it all. Now, let me just back up a bit and confess something. The thought of what lessons I’ve learnt and the way forward was nowhere near the first thought I had. Many more thoughts have crossed my mind prior to arriving at this point.
I’ve been battling with feelings of insecurity and even a wobbly faith. I’ve felt like God has deserted me and gone off to occupy Himself with sorting someone else’s life instead. Someone more worthy or faithful. Someone more intelligent or more acceptable. So I’ve had to work through a lot and I’ve learnt a few valuable lessons. The gist of the whole experience is that without building your life and your experiences on a firm foundation, you are going to be stranded, and your world can easily crumble.
I’ve come a long way since those first insecure thoughts and now I’m in a place where I know God wants me to be. I can be molded and shaped in whatever way He has deemed fit through this challenging time. He is preparing me for a new season, and I’m assured that there is a good season coming, based on how harsh the last 2 years have been. I’m not through to the other side yet, but I’ve gathered enough spiritual intel to inspire me to hang in there. God will do what He has promised He would do, and that is to make my paths straight (Prov 3:5-6), and to never leave me. (Duet 31:8)
God’s Word is full of promises confirming my value and I know that God keeps His promises. So what do I do now? Well, I wait! I cling onto the knowledge that my struggles are not in vain. Soon, things will go well again and I will only be able to deal with what is coming, because of the struggles that I’ve endured. In retrospect it’s like a huge jigsaw puzzle that only God has the picture to. When I try to figure it out, not knowing what it’s all supposed to look like, it’s usually a big mess. With God in control, there is only something beautiful and worthwhile on the horizon. I firmly believe that!