The world can be a scary place, even more so if you’re only a child. It’s hardly surprising then that most children at some point in their childhood will go through a period when they are afraid of something. It’s very common for children to be afraid of things; monsters, water, the dark, strangers, the list is long and many times there is no foundation or cause to the fear other than the thing they are afraid of is “scary”. However, just because the fear is irrational, doesn’t mean that the emotions being felt are not real.
It’s up to you
As a parent, it can be hard to know how to navigate this season of fear well. It’s easy to get frustrated and impatient, especially when the fear disrupts everyday life but as the person your child looks to for their security and support, how you deal with this challenge is vital to their feeling of wellbeing – not just in the present but in the future as well.
We’ve all been there
I’m a mother of four. At one stage I had a child who was terrified every time we ran a bath. As soon as the tap was turned on, panic set in and my normally happy and confident child turned into a hysterical mess who was convinced that the running bath would flood the entire house. It’s funny now, looking back on that stage, but at the time it was hard to know what to do and how best to calm her, and ultimately completely dispel the fear.
Keep calm and carry on
Although there is no quick-fix when it comes to helping a child face their fears, here are a few things that may help you if you’re dealing with this season in your family.
- Talk about it:The cause of the fear may be imagined but the fear itself is very real. Discussing what they are afraid of may help your child to dispel some of the bad feelings they are experiencing and also make them feel less like they are carrying their fear alone.
- Don’t make light of it:Your child needs to know that you are a safe place and a place of comfort. They won’t feel that way if you make fun of something that is deeply troubling them. As much as their fear may seem foolish to you, don’t be tempted to make light of it because in their eyes it’s very serious and they need you to treat it that way.
- Be patient:An irrational fear can be frustrating but you won’t be helping the situation if you lose your temper or just tell your child to stop being silly. If your child feels as though you are supporting them and are in control of the situation, they are more likely to be able to not only face, but overcome the thing they are afraid of.
- Don’t avoid it:If your child is afraid of the dark you can’t keep the lights on all the time. If they don’t like water or dogs or strangers, don’t avoid these things in an attempt to shield them from their fears. Encouragement, support, and calm confidence is the best way to approach whatever it is that your child is struggling with. Don’t force the issue but if an occasion arises that means they need to confront their fear, help them to do so, until they are able to without your help, rather than avoiding the challenge.
Be bold
Whatever our age, we all have to face fear sooner or later. The cause of our anxiety may change but knowing that we are not facing our fear alone is always the easiest way to begin overcoming what we are most afraid of. The writer of the book of Psalms in the Bible wrote about the fact that he could face anything, even the darkest valley, without being afraid because he knew God was with him. Having someone standing beside us can be the difference between learning to overcome our fears or allowing them to control us.