This Sunday marked the end of a season in South Africa – the end of the first season of South Africa’s The Voice.
In the season finale, 21-year old Cape Town local Richard Stirton was crowned the winner. I guess that I appreciate the results a little more because I was also a contestant alongside Richard in Team Kahn (Kahn Morbee, Parlotones front man) who left the competition in the Top 32.
The format of the show meant that a lot of people went home very quickly. The Top 32, for example, were instantly cut to the Top 16 over two weeks. I happened to be sent home in the first week. As much as I was disappointed to leave the show, I was also very much relieved to be able to get home and carry on with my life without the immense pressure and stress that comes with broadcasting live week after week.
If there was anything that I saw as clear as day, during and after the show it was my direction.
There were tons of people who had voted and who have been supporting me during the process; some of them kids. On more than one occasion I’ve had a kid come up to me and say, “So sorry that you failed, Eden,” and it’s gotten to me every single time.
Why? Because…
The reality is that, because it’s a competition, only one (very much deserving) person wins. The rest of the people, not any less deserving, are voted out. But what are we teaching our children if we consider everyone who was voted out a loser and failure – everyone except the person who “won”?
It is a dangerous mentality to approach life with – especially if you’re going to try and achieve any dream, really. The other reality is that we are all at different places in the timeline and are all on different lanes. Running your own race, and accepting what is for you now means that you can be at peace with whatever happens along the way.
So how do you create your own definition of success?
- Set out your goals and dreams clearly
The Bible says that people perish because of a lack of knowledge, and a lack of advice, but plans go well when a person seeks understanding “from the counsel of many” (Proverbs 11:14 and 15:22). Once you’ve sought counsel and set out your plan clearly, stay in your lane. Be very strict about that because, in the words of James Treat, if you don’t define success upfront you will define success by comparison – and comparison is a very dangerous game. Not many who play it come out alive.
- Determine what and who defines your worth
In The Voice, one of the simpler translations of the Bible, there’s a passage in Luke (12:5-8) that quotes Jesus as follows: “Here’s whose opinion you should be concerned about: the One who can take your life and then throw you into hell! He’s the only one you should fear! But don’t misunderstand: you don’t really need to be afraid of God, because God cares for every little sparrow. How much is a sparrow worth – don’t five of them sell for a few cents? Since you are so much more precious to God than a thousand flock of sparrows, and since God knows you in every detail – down to the number of hairs on your head at this moment – you can be secure and unafraid of any person, and you have nothing to fear from God either. That’s why I keep telling you not to be intimidated. If you identify unashamedly with Me before others, I, the Son of Man, will affirm you before God and all the heavenly Messengers.”
In the words of actress Helena Bonham Carter: “You can never put your self-definition in the hands of someone who meets you for 15 minutes.” How much more then should we put our self-definition in the hands of someone who knows every hair on our heads!
Very, very clearly there in Luke we read about how much God cares for us. He has our lives mapped. Big events and small events are all important to Him. He has complete power and He is the only one that we should fear and allow to speak into our lives – everything that we believe about ourselves should be based on what He says.
Unfortunately, we have something called the internet and today’s society in general, where people are used to defining other people and judging them without truly understanding or knowing the capacity and gifting of the person in front of them. It’s also on the internet that we see “people doing well” and wish we were them.
Can you see the danger in entering the world without your own definition of success worked out? Can you see how easy it is to get swayed; depressed; devoid of joy, and complacent? Very easy.
It can ruin you unless you decide today that your joy, reason, and hope are all found in God; that He is the source of your worth.
After all of this, be grateful – for every experience, for every lesson, and every little thing that you’ve learnt and received along the way! Without gratitude you are unable to receive anything more:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (you’ll find it towards the back of your Bible) says the following: “Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. (This is God’s will for all of you in Jesus the Anointed.)”
If you are finding it hard to stand under the heavy pressure that society is putting on you to be successful, and are also finding it hard to see that your worth is not found in your gifts, talents, or anything you do, I strongly suggest that you take a little time to click on the black banner below!