I bought my wife Valerie (aka tbV or the beautiful Val) a pillow yesterday.

I know what you’re thinking: not the most romantic move of all time. But you’d be wrong.

Let’s backtrack a week or so to where months of planning had resulted in Valerie pulling together the first ever Justice Conference of South Africa which was a huge success. Resulting in a very tired wife.

A weekend trip to Mosselbay to connect with good friends of mine who we had not seen since one night on our honeymoon where we specifically visited Jeffrey’s Bay to connect with them. This was an amazing two days but two accompanying children meant it was not necessarily the most restful occasion. So we stayed an extra night in an Airbnb room in a house in Klein Brak Rivier.

LOVE IS A BRAND NEW PILLOW

The bed we were sleeping on had the most comfortable pillows we have ever experienced (our ones back home are quite deflated and unexciting in comparison). When Val took a look at the label she discovered they were from Mr Price Home which is one of the most affordable stores we have here. (Husbandman files information in memory for later use).

Bringing us back to the present. My wife has a saying that goes like this: I love bed. Kind of like Steve Carrell’s Brick character in Anchorman and his fascination with lamp, except that Val really does love bed. So when I was out yesterday I made some time to head into Mr Price Home and get for her a brand new pillow which I then snuck into one of our old derelict pillow cases.

Fast forward a really difficult day dealing with a lot of post conference admin and frustrating people and things and Val comes home quite tired and deflated. Lies down on bed and a transformation occurs. Happy wife.

And all it took was a pillow.

LOVE IS HOW YOU KNOW

This particular week and on this particular day, a big bunch of bright red roses would not have brought the same kind of smile to my wife’s face as that pillow did. And yet who of us would consider a pillow to be a romantic thing? I don’t see any hands.

The key really is in how well you know the person you are trying to express love to. Sometimes that can be about knowing their Love Language (The way they best receive love through Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service or Words of Affirmation) while other times it can come from understanding their context. Sometimes the best gift can be all about the right timing.

Think of someone you want to show love to – can be a partner or spouse, but can also be a family member or a good friend. What does that person enjoy? What makes them come alive? For one person it might be the right type of speciality food, while for another it will be a walk out in nature. For someone it might be taking them to watch a movie, or challenging them to a game of Scrabble, and for someone else it might be securing them a place where they can go and be by themselves for a few hours. 

So for my wife, on this particular day and at this particular moment, the most appropriate gift was a pillow. Tomorrow it might be a piece of Mugg and Bean Lemon Meringue or a new set of pencil crayons for her to colour with.

As for me, when I bought my wife a pillow, I also bought for myself a box of blue hair dye, which I’ve been wanting to get for a while. I’ll let you know how that turns out…