“Man, I love that part in Forest Gump where…”

“NO! NO! SH! DON’T SAY! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET!!!”

The Tom Hanks Oscar winning movie came out in 1994 and until a few years ago, that was the conversation that I would have with my best mate Dunc. who finally watched it. And we finally got to talk about it. But it was years upon years of frustration cos if you have not watched a movie in ten years…

Come on! Surely there is a limit to that thing?

SURVIVOR OF THE QUICKEST

I remember when I used to watch Survivor at my folks house. Typically it was on the same night as Improv and so I’d have to record it and watch it later. For the last number of seasons I watched would manage to survive a whole season without spoilers and then without fail some [insert own disparaging term here] would write a status on Facebook like, “Aw, I can’t believe Susie didn’t win.”

Really? You just did that? I survived a whole season and you spoilered me in the back just before I watched the last episode.

Sad face indeed.

But when is too soon?

I SEE DEAF PEOPLE

I’ll make it easy – before a movie has been released is too early. With Star Wars: The Force Awakens literally a week away from being seen by me, I have done everything to avoid news and updates and rumours so that I can watch it with fresh eyes. Sometimes even the merchandise movies have provided [which often hit shelves earlier] have spoilers in them. You have to be careful. Stealth ninja mode.

Then I’d say it’s pretty straightforward that if a movie is still on the circuit or if a series is still screening, you should definitely keep what you’ve seen to yourself. Also with the way that social media has shrunk the world you need to be extra careful because that thing that has screened in your country may not yet have screened in mine.

When it comes to sport it’s a little trickier because we love to celebrate. I have recorded Grand Prix races and people have taped sporting events because of celebrations or other unavoidable events, but I think when it comes to those, you know people are going to be cheering or crying into their cereal and so you’re on your own in terms of avoiding social media and walking around with ear plugs in your ears.

BE SENSITIVE AND REALISTIC

i imagine we all know what it’s like to have a twist, victory or score spoiled before we got to watch it play out and so the key here is being sensitive. Realising when information we may be about to share is a potential spoiler to our audience and giving people a chance to leave or block their ears while chanting “LA!LA!LA!LA!”

But on the other side, there is a time to let go. If you have not watched that show in the first three years of it being released, or caught up on that movie within a year then the onus is on you. Don’t hold your friends hostage in conversation for something you haven’t made the effort to catch up on.

Oh, and by the way, SPOILER ALERT, Darth Vader is Luke’s father. And if you did not know that by now, then you really need to sit down and take a deeper think about your life…

p.s. One last good way to avoid spoilers, as I am hoping to do with Star Wars, is by securing tickets to the first screening of the movie in the country and so after 2pm next week Wednesday, you may want to steer clear of me for a while, as either a look of depression or perhaps the most enthralled grinning face you may ever have seen may just give it away.