Do you ever feel like you don’t have any friends? Does it sometimes feel like somehow you miss every coffee invite or hangout? That you hear about cool things happening but you are never there to experience them?
We all like to believe we include others, but sometimes we are “exclusive” in our thinking without realising it – especially when it comes to friendships. I felt really challenged by this recently when I wasn’t invited to a hangout. I’m certainly not trying to feel sorry for myself – but it was definitely a weird feeling.
Having felt the sting of this experience, I swore to myself to always be inclusive of others. I know I may not get this right every single time, but I’m making a more conscious effort to make sure I always make people feel like a friend. Here are a few things I found helpful:
1. Have inclusive conversations
When a group of people come together, conversations often concentrate around one or two key people in the group. This actually excludes other people who don’t know what you are talking about. Making eye contact with people within a group helps to draw them into an existing conversation, even if they are not yet sure about what is being discussed.
2. Go out of your way to connect
This is the hardest point for me because I am naturally introverted, but going out of your way to make people feel included (even if it is just to greet them) goes a long way when people aren’t confident enough to start a conversation themselves.
3. Be approachable
People often stick to their “clicks”, making it almost impossible to chat to them. This actually creates a negative space between you and others. Allow people to be a part of your world!
Godspeed.