Revenge – the desire to get even
Before we plot and plan our revenge strategy, we need to realize an ugly truth about revenge. It is NEVER satisfied. It also causes the hurt to fester and infect, giving birth to anger, hatred and bitterness, and before we know it, we will become physically ill. Here are some practical steps you can take on the journey to forgiving others:
- Write down the name of the person or people you have chosen to forgive. Underneath that name, think of the many things you have done for which you need forgiveness and write them down. When we realize how much we need to be forgiven for all the wrongs we have done, it makes it easier to show mercy to those who have hurt us. Keep what you have written in front of you as you go through this process.
- Realize that forgiving others is a spiritual, supernatural exercise. In fact, it is impossible to truly forgive others without God’s help. God can help you forgive because not only has He forgiven tens of billions of people, He also has the power to help you, in particular. Just remember: He only helps those who admit their helplessness. You might say a simple prayer like this: God I admit I can’t forgive (insert name) with my own power. Please help me. Help me to understand how much You have forgiven me, so I can forgive the person who has hurt me.
In the end forgiveness is for God, first. For you, second. And for the perpetrator, third.
- You can’t truly forgive unless you have grasped the extent of the violation that has been done against you. With the help of a counsellor, minister, or another professional, you need to seek to understand what happened to you when you were hurt and why it hurts so much.
When we realize we can be forgiven for everything we have ever done, it is then we are able to begin forgiving the people in our lives who have hurt us.
- Now it’s time to make the big decision to surrender. Let go of your deep desire to get even with the person who has violated you. Come up with a prayer or statement announcing your decision. Here’s an example: “By an act of my will, and God’s power, I give up my rights to get even with (insert name). I make a commitment that when those sordid feelings come over me again, I will release them. I won’t babysit them. I admit the feelings are real, but I choose not to be controlled by them any longer. Instead I will dwell on the good things I have learned from this experience.”
There is nothing quite like living in peace, knowing you are a forgiving person.
- Make a choice to have compassion on your violator. Look at them first, as a tragedy. In one sense they should be pitied. Bottom line is, because of their violation against you they have suffered, are suffering, and in the end will suffer far more in this life, or the one to come. We’re not making excuses for them, but we’re only saying they are pathetic, and desperately need our compassion. One way to show compassion is to pray for the person who has hurt you. Jesus said, “Pray for your enemies.” He knows it is impossible to continue to pray for someone, and still hate them. Then, while you’re praying for this person, ask for a blessing in their life. Pray that good things come to them. Wish them well.
- Move on. It’s time to stop dwelling on what happened. By forgiving someone you’re promising not to bring it up again to use against him or her. If you are going to talk to someone about how the other person has hurt you, make sure this person is a professional or a wise person you can trust.
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Credit: Edited // The Hope Line