Relationships are amazing, but they are hard. Making decisions when two hearts are thrown into the mix is tough. More often than not, there is someone who walks out on the other side feeling used or let down. When things begin to crumble it’s difficult to know whether to keep at it or walk away.
One of the most important things about relationships are regularly assessing where they are at. It’s not a good long term decision to drift along because you’re scared of being alone, or too lazy to find something new. Not assessing relationships lead to mediocrity and nobody wants a mediocre relationship. I sure as heck don’t.
Say you have been in a relationship for a while and something at the back of your mind says “honey, it’s time to end it”, here are indicators that it may be over.
1. Either or both of you doesn’t want to work on it- if you care about a person and about a relationship then you want to try and work through the problems. If you don’t feel that way, chances are your relationship is not adding value and it’s no longer worth the effort.
2. Communication is one-sided– this should always be a two-way street. If the one person is always initiating a conversation that’s not fair. If you like someone you want to communicate with them, so if it’s one sided its a sign.
3. Are you spending more time apart than together? A relationship is about a partnership. If either of you is behaving like single people, always out with friends or always at work then something is wrong. Especially if you don’t mind.
4. Are you fighting all the time? Couples fight. Friends fight, but there is a fine line between fighting all the time and some healthy conflict. If you are at each other’s throats all the time something needs to change or end.
5. If you ask yourself “is this the person I want to be with in the future?”, and the answer is I don’t know or I don’t think so. Then some serious reflecting time is needed. Get out your pro and con list and think things through.
6. Either or both of you has stopped talking about your relationship and the future. If you have been dating someone for a while then it’s natural to talk about your future. If either of you is mute on this topic or being vague its cause for concern.
7. Body language- someone who is into you will show you this in their body language. Do they want to hold your hand? Are they initiating affection? Do they smile at you?
8. You start to find other people attractive and want to flirt with them. Yes, there are always attractive people out there but when you are happy in your relationship it is less of an attraction then when things are bad.
9. Your friends and family aren’t supportive. When you are in a relationship you can’t always see the unhealthy signs. If your friends and family think things should end, then take the time to listen to what they have to say.
10. Trust your gut. Just do it, at the end of the day, this is your life and your future. You need to pay attention to what you are feeling and why.
You need and deserve to be in a relationship where you feel special, appreciated, loved and most importantly, valued. Don’t wait for the words that it is over, rather be decisive about the state of things and go for the best.
If a relationship is not good, it’s better to be out than in. Seek the advice and counsel of people you respect. Make sure you have a good support network with kind friends who can take you through the horrible post break up process. Remember that you can always pray to God for guidance, wisdom and strength.