A few years ago, I had a Skype meeting that changed my life as a creatively inclined freelancer forever.
Part of my job description is that I do vocal arrangements, features, coaching, and backing vocals for other people’s studio work – this is aside from me doing my own musical works.
Someone that I really looked up to from New York, found my Soundcloud page randomly and liked my work so much that he contacted me to do work with him. I was excited – I mean, what were the chances, right?
We got talking about what he wanted for the specific song he wanted to me to sing on, as well as talking about our various backgrounds (it’s nice to have some sort of relationship with someone before you feature on their work). I then went away to do my work. Like normal, I was able to write the song very quickly, and afterwards I found my way into a studio to send it to him. I was super happy with the end product when I sent it.
The client replied to me saying that he loved it but that he was going to write some notes on it, and that he thinks that we should discuss this over another Skype meeting because there is someone that he would like me to meet. Someone who would give me some coaching in this area in our next meeting. I was temporarily shattered.
“So many creatives are wrapped up in their artistic ability and the way they think a project should go, and do not partner with clients. Upon the first inkling of criticism, they insist their artwork is best and refuse to compromise.”
– Kristen Fischer, When Talent Isn’t Enough
I was really, temporarily, shattered. I’d been doing this since I was 14, and no one had ever come back to me with notes on what I should change. But I was keen to hear what this mystery coach had to say. I didn’t think that there was too much that they could give critique me on.
Just before the meeting I worked up a lot of courage and I decided to take whatever came. I knew that I couldn’t afford to be proud, but at the same time I am naturally always on the “opposition” (Very bad! I’ve had to work on that!) and so, when the other artist came on to mentor me, even though he was someone that I looked up to big time, it really hurt to take on board all of the criticism that he gave me.
Look, everything he said was positive. But at the time, them asking me to chop and change stuff didn’t seem a positive. It was embarrassing. I felt like they were criticising who I was. I didn’t know that that’s what clients do. All. The. Time.
“I tend to see younger and less-experienced creatives get tangled in ego issues. This manifests itself in an unhealthy ‘us vs. them’ mentality. To a degree most creative have some level of ego, but it’s about keeping things in check while still remaining confident. At the end of the day, people don’t want to hire and work with jerks no matter how talented they are. Make the interaction about building a partnership and not battling an adversary.”
– Jay Rogers, designer/illustrator
I, very obviously, was that younger, less experienced creative artist that got entangled in ego issues.
I thank Father God that I sorted myself out, changed what they asked to be changed, and everything ended up well. Plus, we’re still good friends today, and I consider them both mentors of mine.
I keep on thinking about what could have happened had I told them that I thought that my work was perfect and that I was the authority on what should have or should not have been changed… oh, no! It would have been a disaster.
Now, I know you might be thinking, “How on earth could she have even thought of blowing up such a great opportunity by not wanting to take advice or criticism well?”
Well, let me tell you, we do this sort of thing to God all the time.
He’s the authority on all of the stuff that we do in our lives – because, uhm, He made us. But we allow ourselves to get frustrated when there needs to be correction in our lives – whether its from Him, or the people that He put in place to guide us through life.
Learning to take criticism, and then apologising quickly – changing my behaviour, and not sulking or getting offended – is something that I am constantly learning in every area of my life.
It’s key to remember that positive criticism is only given to help each of us get better. No matter how talented and clever you think you are, there is always room to listen and learn.
“Because the Eternal proves His love by caring enough to discipline you, just as a father does his child, his pride and joy” – Proverbs 3:12
If you’re interested to know more about this, why don’t you click the banner below?