I have been a part of church for 7 years. It may seem obvious but I don’t hate God, I don’t hate Christians and I actually don’t hate the church. I believe in it. I believe it is the answer to many problems in the world. Despite this, there have been some things in my 7 faithful years that I’ve had to really work through. When I say work through, I mean Grade 12 end of year Maths Higher Grade paper – there was hurt, disappointment and frustration. I love God, I’m an advocate for sticking things out, but I nearly became another lousy, jaded ex-church twentysomething statistic.
One of these was an event I held roughly 3 years ago.
I’ve always liked events – the people, the pressure, the ‘you never know what could happen at the last moment’ thing, and the wow I pulled it off. I REALLY pulled it off.
I was feeling a little low and I decided to face it head on, take a faith step and put on an event – stretch myself and do something out of the ordinary. I will openly admit I was unaware as to what it requires to pull off something of the size my little mind had schemed. And I have since down scaled every event I have touched because the lessons were delivered thick and fast.
It was called “Party-it-up,” and it featured 5 local artists (I warned you, I went big) and 4 DJ’s and a warehouse. All the proceeds were to go to Uphold Global (my little best friend’s NGO which raises funds for disabled kids). There were smoke machines, photo booths, online ticket purchases, flyers – the works. We had bands bring in their entire set up. We had me set up as a MC. I did some radio interviews, I spoke at a few local churches to tell them about it, I had a core committee of helpers who helped to get the word out and handle some admin. I mean, it was a big deal and I made no secret about what I had invested. I asked everyone to come months in advance.
I felt ill that entire week. I worked like a crazy person and I think the only times I have ever felt that stressed before was my Driver’s License test and when I thought I was going to get fired from a job. Also, when they made me jump off the high diving board in Grade 3.
Party-it-up was rough around the edges – there were too many artists and we had to rush the last act. The DJ’s were cool, but people were kind of over it by the time we got there. We made a fair amount of cash and I learned a lot, but I woke up the next day feeling hurt. I felt like a lot of the people I genuinely had relationships with from church hadn’t bothered to come.
Listen, I’m reasonable. I know people have stuff on and things happen, but the idea of being “awesome” in church on Sunday and then living your life outside it with mediocre commitment, communication and care is something I’ll never be ok with.
Everything in me believes integrity is the key to ministry.
I don’t care what people do in that building, I care who they are to the people around you everyday.
I don’t care if they run a Youth Group of 3000 on a Friday night, if they can’t greet me when they know me.
I don’t care if you visit Jesus in heaven with all the angels, if you can’t bother to respond to the message when I ask you to my birthday party.
I don’t care if you are the hottest coolest new leader at the men’s group at church, if you flirt with me when you aren’t going to do anything about it – that’s not cool.
We will always find people who show us support and people who let us down. The thing is to not let bad experiences with people put you off trying church, or attending one. God is good, and he is consistent. Learn from the lessons and be wise.
I will always chose the people in my life by their integrity. I don’t care what your faith it, to be honest you don’t need to share my faith to be my friend. I care about if you are there when the going gets tough.